Through Thick and Thin

by J. P. Oliver

  He winked, and Lance immediately felt himself blush. Ah, fuck. “Oh. Um. Thanks. I should—”

  Like an idiot, he ducked away, turning back to check on Travis. It was like his shyness just came to the forefront the moment flirting was involved. One minute he was fine talking to the guy, and the next, he was a wreck.

  Travis was still sitting down on the edge of the sidewalk, staring at the now-smoldering walls of his house. Lance sighed. “C’mon, Trav. Let’s get you home.”

  Travis, understandably, looked at him in confusion. “My home’s right there.”

  “I meant my home. I’m not letting you check into a hotel when I’ve got space at my apartment.” He held out his hand and helped Travis to his feet. “Hey, Adam, would you mind taking a look at the insurance for us?”

  “Not really my area of expertise, I have to warn you,” Adam said, “but I can take a look.”

  “Thanks.”

  Matthew and Jake walked up, hand in hand. Jake, to Lance’s surprise, wrapped Travis up in a hug.

  “Jesus Christ, man, I’m glad you weren’t inside,” Jake said, his voice muffled in Travis’s shoulder.

  Sometimes it was easy to forget that when they’d known each other since high school, that meant, well, they’d known each other since high school. Luke, Jake, Travis, Davis, and Lance, they’d all been there for each other over the years. Lance thought about what it would have been like if Travis had been in the house—and he almost threw up. God, no.

  Jake pulled back, stepping away to stand next to Matthew again. “Luke said to report to him how you were doing. He had to run back and take care of the bar. He also said you could crash at his house…” Jake looked over at Adam. “…so long as you said it was fine.”

  “Luke’s old bedroom is open, if you want it,” Adam said. “We never use it.”

  Lance felt a little… possessive, oddly. He didn’t want Travis staying at someone else’s house. He wanted Travis to stay with him.

  Of course, if Travis would rather stay at Luke and Adam’s large house rather than at Lance’s tiny apartment, that totally made sense. He wasn’t going to hold that against Travis.

  Travis just flung an arm around Lance and said, “Thanks, but Lance already offered me his place.”

  “No problem,” Adam said, shrugging. “Let me know what I can do to help with that insurance, okay Lance?”

  “Of course.”

  Matthew gave both of them a quick hug, and then all three headed back towards Joe’s. Part of Lance felt like he really could use a drink in that moment. Another part of him wanted to selfishly keep Travis to himself, to make sure he was really okay. After a shock like that, being around tons of people might not be what was best for Travis in that moment.

  “You want to walk home?” Lance asked. “It might help, the night air and exercise and all that shit.”

  Travis chuckled. “Okay. Yeah. Sure.”

  Lance still had Travis’s arm around him, so he used that to his advantage and put his head on Travis’s shoulder again. “Hey. I’m glad you’re okay.”

  Travis nodded.

  “And you know this is all going to work out, all right? The stuff upstairs, that’s about half your stuff, it’s probably okay. The fire didn’t reach there.”

  Travis nodded again. “Lance?”

  “Yeah?”

  Travis shrugged. With his arm around Lance like that, Lance could feel the movement through Travis’s entire body. “Thanks.”

  He looked handsome and lost and exhausted which caused Lance’s heart to clinch.

  Lance made himself smile. “What are best friends for?”

  4

  They walked in silence, thank God, because Lance had always been good at knowing when Travis need some peace and quiet. Travis felt like his thoughts were on some kind of high-speed merry-go-round.

  How could he have not noticed the oven on this morning? If he’d gone inside to change like he’d originally planned before Peter had shown up, would he have noticed the unusual heat in the kitchen? If he hadn’t put a damn dish towel on the edge of the counter next to the oven in the first place and had hung it up the way it was supposed to be…

  Travis gave himself a mental shake. Men don’t sit around and think about what they should’ve done, his dad always said. They just get up and do what needs to be done. Don’t ‘should have’ all over yourself; that was another one of his sayings. He could’ve done this, and he should’ve done that, but it didn’t matter. What mattered was what he did once the chips had fallen.

  “Thanks,” he said again, giving Lance’s shoulder a squeeze. He kept his arm around Lance, knowing the smaller man got cold easily and if Lance had brought a jacket, it was either in the bar or in his car. “You didn’t have to do any of that.”

  “What, talk to the fire chief?” Lance snorted. “You obviously weren’t in any shape to talk to him, and I wasn’t going to make you. Although…” Lance shot him a devious grin. “This is the first time you’ve thanked me for stopping you from talking to a cute guy.”

  “He was kind of cute, wasn’t he?”

  “I suppose. He kind of insinuated I should ask him out.”

  “Wait, what?” Travis’s voice took on a growl. “He—you’re discussing a fire, that’s not exactly—he wasn’t even that attractive.”

  Lance laughed. “You say that like you wouldn’t have picked him up in a hot minute if the situation was reversed, and I was the one mourning my house.”

  “That’s different,” Travis said, snorting. And it was. He was a player, always had been, and he liked it. He hadn’t had his heart broken once in his life. He just didn’t care, sex was sex. Lance was different though. Lance was sensitive, although he’d probably find some way to punish Travis for saying so. He needed someone who saw that and was going to take care of him, not some new hotshot fire chief who was looking for a fling.

  “Don’t worry,” Lance said, “I didn’t say anything. You know me.”

  “Yeah, delicate flower, that’s what you are,” Travis teased. “But honestly, man, talking to Adam about insurance and all of that—I don’t even know what happened. It was like I couldn’t breathe.”

  “It’s called shock, and it’s perfectly normal,” Lance replied. “Normal to people who actually have emotions on a regular basis, anyway.” He elbowed Travis, that sly look on his face that Travis loved. Sometimes Travis wondered if he was the only one who got to see Lance’s sly, teasing side, or if everyone else only got to see the quiet, timid peacekeeper.

  “If this is how you talk to all your dates, no wonder you’ve been single for so long,” Travis shot back.

  “Oh, please, like you don’t chase off any guy who tries.”

  “That’s only because they’re not good enough. You don’t play a player, and I know when they’re players.”

  “Uh-huh. Sure. Next thing I know you’ll be out on my metaphorical front porch with a shotgun.”

  “Hey, ask my dad, scaring boyfriends off with a shotgun is a family tradition.” Travis paused.

  Shit. He was going to have to tell Dad about this.

  “You okay?” Lance asked, but he said the question like he already knew what the answer was. Travis didn’t understand how Lance always seemed to know how Travis was feeling when Travis himself often didn’t know.

  Travis felt heat prick at his eyes and quickly looked away, up at the night sky. “Yeah, just—gonna have to tell my dad, y’know?”

  “So? He won’t care.”

  “It’s not exactly a good thing, your house burning down,” Travis pointed out.

  “It’s not like you were driving drunk or anything, either,” Lance replied, his tone even and calm. “I know he demands a lot from you; he’s a demanding kind of guy, but this is one of those freak accidents. It could happen to anybody.”

  Travis shrugged, not completely convinced. “He’ll probably say I should’ve checked my kitchen after whatshisname left to make sure nothing had been messed with.”<
br />
  Lance shook his head. “No, he’ll say he’s glad that you’re okay, and that half of your things can be salvaged.”

  “I think you’re underestimating my dad.”

  “I think I’ve known the guy since I was, what, ten? Maybe you don’t see it, Travis, but he’s not looking for every opportunity to see how you don’t measure up. He just worries about you.”

  Travis kind of knew that—he was the youngest of four boys and, though most people didn’t believe it, he was the smallest of the bunch. All his brothers were over six feet, and huge. Travis was only five feet ten inches, and while he was strong, he wasn’t really burly the way his brothers were. Maybe it was that and the fact that his growth spurt had come late, or maybe it was being the youngest, but whatever the reason, Dad really liked to worry about Travis.

  He just wished that worry didn’t come in the form of constantly telling Travis what he had done wrong and telling him how to do better next time.

  “I can tell him, if you want,” Lance said.

  Travis rolled his eyes, but good-naturedly. “Yeah, he’d love that. Pretty sure he’d adopt you if he could.”

  “My parents would object to that, I think,” Lance replied.

  “I’m being serious here. I think that he thinks my friendship with you is the only smart decision I’ve ever made.”

  “Okay, first of all, it wasn’t like we had much of a choice in friends around here. Second of all, you’ve made plenty of smart decisions. Remember when we were kids, and you decided you were going to be a pro boxer?”

  Travis giddily laughed, and he could feel the tension from the fire inside of him was making him a bit wired. “Yeah. Not my smartest decision, but hey, I was fourteen and getting into fights all the time. It kind of made sense.”

  “Whatever floats your boat,” Lance said.

  “Well, hey, look at you.” Travis shrugged. “You said you’d be doing computer stuff, be a fancy programmer, and now look at you.”

  “Oh, yeah, a web designer in a tiny town in the Midwest, yeah, I really rode the dotcom craze, didn’t I?” Lance replied.

  Travis paused. He hadn’t known that Lance was unhappy with any decision that he’d made. “I thought you liked it here.”

  “What? I do.” The surprise on Lance’s face at Travis’s words helped soothe the sudden ache in Travis’s chest that had sprung up. “No, it’s not—I’ve always wanted to stay here. I know Luke wanted his time in the city, and I know you and Davis were planning on running away to New York at one point in middle school. Honestly though, I like it here. It’s just that if you’re pointing fingers at who’s traditionally successful, I’m not exactly in Silicon Valley running a billion-dollar startup.” Lance smiled at him. “I’m just saying, don’t be so hard on yourself. I could play that game with myself and so could pretty much anyone else on the planet...so don’t do it.”

  Travis didn’t know what to say to that. He could talk about what felt like anything. He’d gotten good at being able to shoot the breeze about various subjects since it came in handy when picking a guy up at a bar. He’d make small talk in between the flirtations, so that he didn’t come on too strong. When it came to talking about things like this—the big things—he just found himself tongue-tied. It was like his thoughts ground to a halt and became heavy all at the same time, and he just didn’t know what to do with himself.

  The only time he got even close was in moments like these with Lance. In the darkness, walking to Lance’s place, with nobody else around to possibly hear them, he could almost get himself to open up about things like this.

  Almost.

  “You sure you don’t mind me staying?” he asked. Yes, it was changing the subject, but Travis knew Lance would let it slide.

  “I wouldn’t have offered if I minded,” Lance replied. “Why, you having second thoughts?”

  “Hell no.” Travis liked Luke well enough, but with Adam getting up early every morning to commute to Chicago, Seth bouncing around as only a teenager could, and Luke’s late hours at the bar, Travis had a feeling he’d be quickly overwhelmed. “If I wanted three roommates, I’d have convinced my brothers to move in with me.”

  Besides, he got along best with Lance. He and Luke had been partners in crime once upon a time, picking up men together and being one another’s wingmen, but that had ended when Luke’s parents had died, almost two years ago now. If Luke was still living his swinging lifestyle, then maybe...but Travis didn’t want to invade the happy domesticity that Luke had made for himself.

  Luckily, Lance laughed. “Well, good thing for you then that my couch is a pull-out. I got it at that garage sale, do you remember?”

  Travis definitely remembered. Lance had furnished pretty much his entire apartment with things from garage sales.

  The talk turned to reminiscing, and by the time they reached Lance’s apartment, Travis could almost forget all the issues he now had facing him with the aftermath of the fire. Being with Lance was always like that. If it came to an adrenaline filled situation, or something about work, he was good, but otherwise, it still felt like Lance was the one who had being an adult figured out.

  “Thanks,” he said again. It felt like he’d been saying that all night, both out loud and in his head.

  “I told you,” Lance repeated, unlocking the door, “What are best friends for?”

  5

  Lance got a call from Luke almost immediately after getting into the apartment with Travis. “There should be some extra toothpaste and stuff in the closet,” Lance told him. “And you know where the bedsheets are.”

  That was another part of why it would be good for Travis to stay with him—he already spent so much time at Lance’s place that he knew where almost everything was.

  While Travis dealt with that, Lance answered his phone. “What’s up? Everything okay?”

  “Oh, yeah, no, just checking on you guys.” Luke sounded worried. “Adam said that Travis is going to be staying with you?”

  “Yeah, he’s staying on the pullout.” Lance wasn’t quite sure he liked the knowing tone that crept into Luke’s voice. “Why?”

  There was a very long pause, so long that Lance pulled the phone back to check that Luke hadn’t hung up on him. He heard what he thought was whispering on the other end of the line, something about I don’t know and fuck’s sake.

  “Um, are you sure that’s a good idea?” Luke finally said.

  “…why wouldn’t it be a good idea?”

  “I mean, are you sure this is the best thing to do, seeing how you, uh, feel, about Travis.” Luke cleared his throat. “How you’ve felt about him for years.”

  Lance had long suspected that Luke knew about his annoying and carefully hidden crush, but it was still like a bucket of cold water to the face to have it said out loud.

  His instinct, of course, was to deny. “What are you talking about?”

  Luke sighed, creating a burst of static over the phone. “Don’t give me that shit, Lance. You and I both know what I’m talking about.” There was a brief pause. “Wait, is he with you? Can you not speak freely?”

  “Christ’s sake, Luke, this isn’t a spy movie. I can ‘speak freely’,” Lance replied, but he kept his voice at a lower register, just in case. “I’m just not discussing this.”

  “You sure? Because if you ask me, it’s something that needs to be discussed.”

  “Lying never works!” Adam shouted from the background.

  Lance bit down hard on the inside of his cheek to hold in his groan. “Adam knows, too?”

  “Buddy, I’m sure everyone in town knows.”

  “Fuck.” Lance could feel the panic beginning to crawl over his skin like spiders. “Do you think Travis knows?”

  “Travis has many talents, but emotional intelligence is not one of them,” Luke replied.

  Lance heaved a sigh of relief. He didn’t care if the entire town knew—okay, that was a lie. He did, in fact, care if the entire town knew. But at least Travis didn
’t know, and that was what was important. Lance never wanted to have that awkward conversation, the one that he knew would come—the one where Travis would sit him down and say kindly that he was flattered, really, but he just didn’t see Lance that way.

  After all, if he had, he would have said something at some point in the, oh, two and a half decades or so that they’d known one another.

  Lance would rather keep his secret forever then risk making his friendship with Travis awkward or uncomfortable—which was definitely what would happen if Travis found out and then had to turn him down. It would turn into that weird game where Lance would do everything to show that he wasn’t pining (even though he was), and Travis would pull himself back because he wouldn’t want anything that he did to be misconstrued by Lance as being a sign of Travis’s supposed interest in him.

  It would be a goddamn mess, in other words.

  “Lance?” Luke asked over the phone. “You still there?”

  “Yeah, I’m here.” Lance sighed. “Look, I’m not sure what you want from me. Do you want me to admit it? Because I can. I just don’t see what good that would do.”

  “Tell him!” Adam yelled.

  There was the sound of scuffling and then Luke said, “You do what you want to do, tell him or don’t tell him, but just—we want you to think about the fact that you’re about to have the guy you have feelings for in your home...which is a tiny home, by the way. You’ve got a one bedroom apartment; there’s not many places you guys can go to get away from each other.”

  “You say that like you think we’re going to want to get away from each other.”

  “I think that you might, maybe, if you realize the close proximity is too much,” Luke replied.

  Lance snorted. “Luke, I’ve been in love with the guy for God knows how many years now. A few weeks sharing an apartment with him is not going to be what sends me over the edge.”

  “It’s your choice,” Luke repeated. “I just want you to do what’s best for you, y’know?”

  “And what’s that supposed to mean?”