Starry, Starry Night

by Lurlene McDaniel

  She felt sorry for him and thought it a shame that his school friends had deserted him.

  “How did we start talking about such depressing stuff anyway? You came over to visit and I’m glad you did. Would you like to play a video game?”

  Relieved that he’d changed the subject, Brenda gave him a playful poke with her finger. “Oh, sure. You practice all the time. I’ll get trounced. Forget it.”

  “Then what do you want to do?”

  They spent the afternoon listening to CDs on the jukebox and talking. By that evening, Doug was feeling better, and his mother invited Brenda to stay for dinner. The meal was served in the dining room, on beautiful china plates, and Brenda wondered if that was for her benefit. At her house, with her family’s busy schedule, they usually gathered around the kitchen table and ate from take-out cartons.

  Doug was an only child. In the course of the meal, Brenda learned that his father was an engineer with a major airline headquartered in Atlanta. Mrs. Drake had given up her secretarial job when Doug had gone in for his bone-marrow transplant. Brenda certainly understood why they would do anything for their son—including arranging a date with her. Her own mother had been correct when she’d said that parents try hard to make their kids happy.

  When the meal was over, Brenda offered to help clean up. Doug’s mother wouldn’t hear of it, so she thanked his parents and told Doug, “I really should get on home. I have to work tomorrow.”

  “Before you go,” he said, “come back downstairs with me. I want to show you something.” In the family room, he held up her jacket. “Put this on and come outside for a minute.”

  Curious, Brenda slipped into her jacket and went out onto the brick patio with him. A hedge bordered the bricks, and a cobblestone path wound across the grass. A tall wooden fence enclosed the backyard. Twilight blurred the edges of the yard, and overhead the sky was turning from pink to plum-purple and to black. “Look up,” Doug said. “There’s the first star.” He pointed at one lone twinkling star ascending on the horizon. “Quick—make a wish.”

  Brenda shut her eyes and silently wished that Doug would get over his crush on her in a hurry. Although she thought he was really nice, her mind was filled with dreams about another. She turned to him. “Hey, I thought you were a scientist. I didn’t think you believed a star had the power to grant a wish.”

  “Don’t make fun of the power of magic. I wished for you, and here you are.”

  She felt a warm, tingling sensation. Doug could say the sweetest things. “Well, you should have wished for something far more exciting.”

  “All right,” he said slowly. “I wish you’d let me take you to the Winter Fantasy.”

  Brenda caught her breath. She hadn’t expected this.

  “You’ve already been asked, haven’t you?”

  He looked so crestfallen that she blurted out, “No. I mean, not yet.”

  “Then go with me, Brenda. It would mean a lot to me. I know I’m not your ideal date, but I really want to take you.”

  She recalled Julie’s advice about asking Matt. If she told Doug yes, that option was closed. But Matt never treated her the way Doug did. Doug’s feelings about her were stamped clearly on his face. How could she tell him no? “I’d like to go with you, Doug. Maybe we can double with one of my friends.”

  His face lit up. “You mean it? You’ll go with me?”

  “Sure I will.” Even as she said the words, she regretted them.

  “Who says it doesn’t pay to wish on a star?”

  Seeing him looking so happy made a lump form in her throat. Her answer had meant so much to him. But she knew she didn’t feel anything for him except friendship. And no matter how hard either of them wished, she knew she never would.

  Seven

  “You told him you’d go to the dance with him? Brenda, what were you thinking?”

  Julie’s incredulous expression made Brenda mad. “I could use a little support here, Julie.” They were sitting in the food court after work, nibbling on fresh hot pretzels.

  “Gee—I thought you’d get up your nerve and ask Matt.”

  “I’m too chicken,” Brenda said miserably. “No … I’m going with Doug.” Brenda gave Julie a sidelong glance. “Doug told me he was renting a limo for us—just like the one we had on our first date. I asked if he minded doubling with one of my friends. He said to do whatever I wanted.”

  Julie gave her a blank stare; then her whole face brightened. “You mean me? You want me and Kevin to double-date with you two?” Julie had agreed to go with Kevin because Alan didn’t want to go to a lowly high-school dance. Fortunately, Julie’s crush on Alan had faded with his refusal.

  “Would that be so terrible?”

  “Are you kidding? It would be a lifesaver! I wasn’t looking forward to an evening alone with Kevin.”

  Bemused, Brenda jabbed Julie in the ribs. “You’re so silly, girl. Why go out with a guy you don’t really care about?”

  Julie rocked back in her seat. “You’re asking me that question?”

  Brenda felt her face turning red. “I like Doug,” she said defensively. “I really do like him.”

  “Who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself?”

  Brenda ignored Julie’s question and told her she’d call her later. Then she picked up her tray and headed toward the trash container. That’s the trouble with best friends, Brenda thought. They know you too well.

  “What a nice color on you,” Brenda’s mother said as Brenda stood in front of the dressing room mirror in the department store.

  “Mother, it’s pink. I hate pink. And the style is babyish.” Brenda glanced at Julie, who had come along to help find the perfect Winter Fantasy dress. It was Friday night, and the dance was eight days away. And with Christmas in just two weeks, the store was jammed with shoppers.

  “I agree,” Julie said, making a face. “It’s too fussy.”

  “Don’t both of you gang up on me,” Brenda’s mother said. “You know your father doesn’t want to see something too sophisticated on his little girl.”

  Brenda rolled her eyes. “Well, I don’t want to go looking like a Barbie doll.” Although she wasn’t enthusiastic about going, she couldn’t let Doug down. If only she were going with Matt, she’d feel completely different. But Matt had stopped by the booth only once since Thanksgiving, and although he’d flirted with her again, he had yet to give her a call.

  “You’ve bought your dress already, Julie?” Brenda’s mother asked.

  “Mom’s making it for me. I thought I’d look for shoes, but I can’t wear heels.” Julie sighed dramatically. “Kevin is eye level with me now. Heels would put me looking over the top of his head.”

  “How about this dress?” Brenda held up a midnight-blue velvet sheath.

  “I don’t know.… ”

  “At least let me try it on.” Brenda quickly stepped out of the pink dress and into the other. The moment she saw herself in the mirror, she fell in love with the dress. The neck was high and trimmed with a choker-style collar of white seed pearls. Her shoulders were bared, and the dress fell in one long, body-hugging, fluidlike drape of soft velvet. A slit in the back allowed her to walk freely.

  “Wow,” Julie said. “Some dress!”

  “It’s lovely, Brenda, but your father—”

  “Will like it, too.” Brenda finished her mother’s sentence. “Oh, Mom, I love it. Help me out. We can make Dad like it if we work together.” Brenda turned, studying her reflection.

  Her mother eyed the price tag. “It’s awfully pricey.”

  “I’ll pay for half,” Brenda said. Julie blanched. Brenda had just volunteered almost half of her savings, but she couldn’t help herself. She had to have the dress.

  “It’s December. You’ll freeze.” Her mother tried again to change her mind.

  “I’ll wear my coat. Please, Mom. I really want this dress. It’s perfect.” She saw by the look in her mother’s eyes that she thought so, too.

  “We’
ll take it home for your father’s approval, but if he says no—”

  Brenda clapped her hands and gave her mother a quick hug. “Thanks, Mom!”

  They left the store with their purchases. And during the ride home, Brenda kept envisioning the look on Matt Forrester’s face if only he could see her in the dress.

  “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

  “Oh, yes, Doug. Just beautiful.” Brenda was looking through Doug’s telescope at the full moon, a shimmery white circle of gleaming light. She saw mountains and craters on its surface. He had pointed out the Sea of Tranquility to her, so named by the ancient astronomers. “I’ve never seen the moon this way before. It looks close enough to touch.”

  He had called her at work that Saturday afternoon and asked her to stop off on her way home. When she’d arrived, he had taken her onto the patio, where he’d set up his telescope. The night was cold and she was bundled in her ski jacket, but the sky was crystal clear, black as ink except for the stars and the pale fire of the moon.

  “I was hoping you’d like it. That you wouldn’t think it was a dumb idea to come over just to look through my scope.” He stifled a cough.

  She straightened and turned toward him. “I’m glad you asked me. Really.”

  “I’d have asked you sooner, but I don’t want to monopolize your time. Let me refocus on a star,” he added hastily.

  She waited while he realigned the telescope, all the while thinking that looking at the stars was a romantic thing to do. But she felt no romantic stirring for Doug, as she did for Matt. He had not come by to see her at work today, either. She figured that whatever interest he had once held for her must be over. No visits, no phone calls. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure things out.

  “There,” Doug said, stepping aside. “Look at this.”

  Brenda closed one eye and looked through the eyepiece. The star was merely a small dot of white light that appeared to quiver around its edges. She was disappointed, thinking it might have looked as exciting as the moon.

  “It’s farther away,” Doug explained. “Thousands of light-years away. The light we’re seeing probably left that star when the earth was in its Ice Age. But I think it has a beauty all its own, don’t you?”

  She thought about it and decided he was right. The faraway star resembled a seed pearl. Turning to him, she said, “Guess what? I bought my dress for the dance last night. It took all of my and my mother’s powers of persuasion to talk my father into letting me keep it, but we did.”

  “I know you’ll look beautiful. You could wear a rag and still be beautiful.”

  “You should have told me that sooner. I could have saved a bundle.”

  He laughed, then went into a coughing spasm.

  Concerned, she asked, “You okay?”

  “I think I’m getting a cold.”

  “Maybe we should go back inside where it’s warmer.”

  “But I wanted to show you more stars.”

  “Seen one million-year-old star, seen them all.” She took his hand. “Let’s go in.”

  “I’m sorry,” he said, turning his head to cough.

  “No problem.” Back in the warm room, Brenda noticed two bright spots of color on Doug’s cheeks. “Do you have a fever?”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “I’d better go.”

  He looked despondent. “This isn’t the way I wanted the evening to go.” He sagged onto the sofa.

  “Please, forget about it. You can’t help it if you’re coming down with a cold.”

  She started for the stairs, and Doug caught her hand. “I’ll be well by Saturday night. Nothing’s going to keep us from going to that dance.”

  That thought hadn’t even occurred to her. “Call me tomorrow and let me know how you’re feeling, okay?”

  He nodded, then coughed again.

  Brenda hurried upstairs, told Doug’s mother she’d better check on him, then left for home. Her ski jacket was still bundled around her, and in minutes the heater had warmed the inside of the car, but she couldn’t shake the cold feeling deep inside her bones. She was cold. Cold as the light from a million-year-old star.

  Eight

  Matt showed up at the yogurt booth about six o’clock on Sunday, just as Brenda was closing down. Julie had left earlier because her sister was performing in a Sunday-school pageant.

  “Hey,” Matt said, sauntering up. “Do you remember me?”

  “Oh, yes. The guy who lost my phone number.” Brenda forced herself to sound cool, even though her pulse had started racing at the sight of him.

  “Ouch. I’m wounded.” He put his hand over his chest and staggered backward dramatically. “Time sort of got away from me,” he added with an apologetic grin. “Am I forgiven for losing touch with you?”

  His disarming smile did the trick. She couldn’t act indifferent toward him. “I forgive you.”

  “Let me make it up to you. Let’s go out for pizza.”

  Brenda made up her mind instantly. “I have to call home and let Mom know I’ll be late.”

  At the pizza parlor, they were shown to a booth and handed menus. Matt ordered a pizza and two colas.

  “How have you been?” Brenda said once their sodas arrived.

  “I’ve been really bogged down with football and classes. I hardly have any time for other things. I live on campus in one of the dorms, and life gets crazy in the place—water-balloon fights, shaving-cream wars—anything to break the monotony.”

  Surprised by his revelation, Brenda asked, “You don’t live at home?”

  “Not these days. My dad’s company moved him to Los Angeles last year. If I’d gone, I’d have lost my football edge. Starting over out there would have set me back and cut into my chances for a scholarship to college. So I decided to board at the academy and play out my senior year. We had a winning season, and several college coaches have approached me, so it’s been worth it. Anyway, when you live on campus, there’s not a lot of privacy. The phones are in the halls, so the whole floor can listen in.”

  His explanation made Brenda feel better about his not calling. “Is it hard living away from your family?”

  “It has some drawbacks. I miss them. Plus, they never get to my games, but I’m flying out over Christmas break.”

  Brenda felt a twinge of disappointment. He’d be gone the entire time they were both out of school. She forced a smile. “That’s good. I’ve never been to California. What’s it like?”

  “Hopping. There’s something to do every minute. By comparison, Atlanta’s a drag. If my family had moved when I was starting out as a sophomore, I would have moved, too. But man, it all happened right in the middle of my junior year.”

  “It must have been a tough decision.”

  “It was. But it’s made, and now they’re there and I’m here. But then, so are you.”

  It took a moment for his words to sink in. Feeling her heartbeat accelerate, she asked, “Is that a good thing?”

  “It is from where I’m sitting.” Matt fiddled with the paper from his drinking straw. “Which brings me to something else I want to say. Something I want to ask you, really.” He took a sip of his soda and leaned across the table. “The academy is having a Christmas military ball on Saturday night and I’d like you to go with me. What do you say? Do you want to be my date?”

  Brenda’s mouth went completely dry. She pictured him in his uniform and her in the blue velvet dress by his side. Time seemed to stand still. “I—I would love to go with you.”

  He slapped the tabletop. “All right. I’ll call you with the details.” Then he smiled broadly. “And this time, I will call. That’s a Forrester promise, good as gold.”

  She flashed him a smile, feeling warm and fuzzy inside. She asked, “Matt, do you ever look at the stars?”

  “Sure. The NFL stars. Why do you ask?”

  She didn’t know, and suddenly felt silly. “Just curious.”

  Brenda barely tasted her pizza, and could hardly kee
p her mind focused on the drive home. The minute she arrived, she bounded up the stairs to her room and called Julie. As soon as she heard her friend’s voice, she blurted out, “Guess what! Matt asked me to be his date for the ball at his school!”

  Julie squealed. “Too much! When is it?”

  “Saturday night. Oh, Julie, this is fantastic! I’m walking on air.”

  “Saturday?” Julie’s voice sounded puzzled. “How are you going to do that?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Earth to Brenda—hello. Isn’t Saturday the Winter Fantasy? Just how do you plan on going to both?”

  “What am I going to do?” Brenda wailed.

  Julie lay on her stomach across Brenda’s bed, her chin propped in her hands. “It’s a bummer, all right. Two dates on the same night. One with Mr. Guy-of-your-dreams. One with Mr. Nice-guy-but-so-what.”

  Brenda stopped pacing the floor of her bedroom. “I know what the problem is. I just don’t know what I’m going to do about it.”

  “I could tell Doug you were in a car accident and you’re on life support.”

  “This isn’t some kind of joke,” Brenda snapped. “This is serious.”

  “Well, it’s a good bet that if you back out on Matt, you’ll never see or hear from him again.”

  Brenda sagged onto the bed. “I’m sure you’re right. How could I have done this? Honestly, Julie, when Matt looked across the table and asked me, everything else went out of my head. All I could see were those blue eyes and that hunky face. I never once thought about the ball being the same night as our school dance. I feel awful about this.”

  “I’ve given you my advice.” Julie slid off the bed. “Find a way to get out of the date with Doug.”

  Julie left, and Brenda went to bed. She lay awake for a long time, reviewing her dilemma, but in the morning she felt just as torn about it as before. She thought about it all day at school, too. Everywhere she looked, she saw posters for the dance. It was all the girls talked about in the bathrooms, the halls, the cafeteria, and the gym. Brenda was so sick of hearing about the dance and feeling so much pressure over her problem that she slunk into the kitchen that afternoon and buried her face in her hands.