A Mother's Secrets

by Tuppence Van de Vaarst

  Please bring Niara. She and Percival got along so well last time. They can entertain each other while the hunt is going on. I’ve invited Lord Conn’s children as well, so they won’t be alone.

  **********

  “Welcome, one and all, to the 112th Great Hunt of Duskryn! The competition is simple, the hunter who brings back the largest prize wins!” The announcer bowed with a flourish.

  Vinet sat astride her horse, dressed for the occasion in in a leather split skirt and leggings. Beside her was Gwyn, dressed in her usual mail. Gwyn had refused all offers to join the serious hunters and had insisted she was staying with Vinet.

  Vinet could not help being grateful about that. Though she was trying not to be paranoid, she was certain something was going to happen.

  The rest of the nobles milled around, all mounted on various steeds. None of them were the serious hunters. They would be riding, following the main hunt. Well, unless Lord Conn rides out to join them. He looks very unhappy being stuck here with the rest of us. His bodyguard has already ridden ahead.

  Pellalindra smiled brightly. “It’s a wonderful day for a hunt, isn’t it! Are you enjoying it, Lady Niara?”

  Vinet smiled at her daughter seated on the pony beside her. She had garnered no few raised eyebrows already, and no doubt some muttered wonderings why Vinet had brought her along and not left her at Pellalindra’s estate. But Niara had wanted to see the forest and the animals, and Vinet saw no reason to deny her.

  Niara nodded vigorously, but didn’t answer verbally, staring around her wide-eyed.

  Pellalindra smiled. “I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful time.”

  Conn chuckled. “Probably best for a child to be back here instead of with the real hunters. Though my oldest son has done a fair amount of hunting on his own. He’ll be ready for his solo hunt soon.”

  Niara sniffed, and Vinet remembered her daughter’s outspoken, at least in Ninaeva and in private, opinion of Niall. He’s like a donkey in silk trousers, Aunt Vinet. Do I have to be nice to him?

  She was saved from having to prevent Niara from answering by an exclamation of joy from Pellalindra. “My lord! You made it! I wasn’t certain you would come!”

  Vinet glanced up and froze. Even though he wasn’t wearing his purple mask, it was the same man from the masquerade ball, the enigmatic one who’d flirted with Pellalindra. He had the same shoulders, the same hair, the same confident way of carrying himself. He was exquisitely handsome. There was nothing about him that wasn’t perfect in any way. Even his horse was a perfect white stallion. He sent a shiver up Vinet’s spine.

  The man smiled warmly at Pellalindra. “It is a pleasure I hoped I would not have to miss. Although my duties are ever present.” That settled it. His voice was the same, musical and deep.

  Pellalindra nodded sympathetically. She turned and smiled at Vinet. “Lady Vinet, may I present to you Lord Auriel?”

  Lord Auriel turned his gaze on Vinet, and she found herself held by his piercing eyes. “A pleasure to meet you,” she managed. She forced a smile. “Though I believe we met briefly in more anonymous circumstances.”

  Lord Auriel smiled. “Ah yes, the masquerade. You were the elf woman, correct? A most daring costume, if I do say so myself.”

  She sensed, more than saw, Gwyn stiffen at her side. She had to prevent herself from stiffening as well. Easy. It’s a figure of speech. There’s no possible way he could know your heritage, she thought.

  “Flowers!” Niara exclaimed. Without waiting for Vinet’s permission, she slid off her pony and darted for the forest.

  “Niara!” Vinet exclaimed.

  Gwyn hesitated, glancing worriedly at Vinet. She slid off her horse and handed the reins to a servant before following Niara into the woods.

  Pellalindra spoke. “I’m sure she’ll be fine, Lady Vinet. Any dangerous game will have been scared away by the passage of the hunters.”

  Vinet stared into the woods after Niara and Gwyn for a moment, trying to convince herself that Pellalindra’s words were true. She couldn’t very well go dashing after them. Gwyn was more suited to that than she was.

  “We are acquainted with Lord Auriel in a way beside the masquerade,” Pellalindra continued. “He is the one who paid the fee for my scout.”

  Vinet forced her attention back to the nobles and stared at Lord Auriel in surprise. “I… you have the Council’s sincerest gratitude,” she managed.

  Lord Auriel smiled pleasantly. “It was the least I could do for the kingdom. Especially considering the post I will soon be assuming.”

  “Post?” Vinet inquired. She noticed that Ellil and Dannan were riding closer, intrigued by the conversation.

  “Ah. Well, I suppose it does no harm to make it public,” Lord Auriel smiled, more at Pellalindra than Vinet. “I am to be appointed his Majesty’s steward. So, I shall be seeing a great deal more of all of you.” Somehow, he managed to make his words seem directed only to Pellalindra.

  “A steward? Why does his majesty need a steward?” Dannan’s words were sharp.

  Before Lord Auriel could answer, Ellil interjected. “It’s a traditional post,” he said, his voice smooth. He raised an eyebrow. “But it has been vacant for some time now.”

  “His majesty has decided that it is time for it to be filled,” was Lord Auriel’s casual response.

  Vinet could tell she was not the only one with questions. Why him? Why now? She’d never heard of Lord Auriel before, and was certain several of others had not either.

  “Well, I do hope your duties will allow your presence at other events such as this,” Pellalindra seemed intent on steering the conversation away from the potentially dangerous subject of Lord Auriel’s abrupt appointment. “I hope you will enjoy yourself while you are in Duskryn lands.”

  “Indeed, they are as beautiful as I remember,” Lord Auriel seized on the change of subject.

  Pellalindra raised an eyebrow. “Remember? That must have been some time ago. Before I married my husband, as I am sure I would have recalled meeting you before.”

  “Ah yes. Nihlas.” Lord Auriel’s voice was flat.

  Vinet kept her expression blank with an effort. Lord Auriel was aware of the rumors surrounding Lord Nihlas’s death, then; principally, that it had been far too conveniently timed.

  The chatter of her daughter’s voice distracted Vinet from the conversation, and she turned her head towards the woods.

  Three figures appeared. They did not step out of the shadows, they just appeared, as if they willed themselves to be shown. All of them were carrying longbows, and they all had long, pointed ears. One of them held the corpse of a wolf slung over his shoulders. Seconds later, Niara walked out of the woods, holding hands with another, older elf, chattering happily.

  The elf looked directly at Vinet, and she felt the blood drain from her face. She knew that man. She had seen him in a vision, heard his voice. He was far more intimately connected to her than any of the nobles all about her, for all she’d never met him.

  “There’s Aunt Vinet!” Niara exclaimed. She started bounding over. “Aunt Vinet! He says I should have pointed ears too!”

  Vinet felt herself pale even further as she slid out of the saddle. Niara flung herself into her arms, still chattering happily. Vinet held her but could not tear her eyes away from the elf. She barely noticed the other nobles moving.

  Pellalindra’s sharp voice interrupted her thoughts. “There was a woman with the child!”

  Vinet’s eyes widened just as Gwyn burst through the trees. Gwyn assessed the situation before quietly walking to Vinet’s side.

  Vinet swallowed. “It’s alright, Lady Pellalindra,” she said. Even to herself, her voice sounded strange and distant.

  The older elf smiled at her. “Lady Vinet, I presume? I found this one wandering the woods. She nearly killed this wolf here had we not put it out of its terror.”

  Vinet felt another spike of fear. Had Niara run into a wolf? She nearly turned an accusing glare at Pell
alindra. She had said the dangerous predators would have been scared off! The elf’s gaze held her attention though. She nodded slowly. “I am Lady Vinet, yes. And… and you?” She felt like everything was silent, waiting with tense anticipation.

  He bowed slightly to her, his green eyes warm. “Kinaevan Sindarilae.”

  Only presence of the other nobles, and her keen awareness of their assessing stares, allowed Vinet to keep her composure. She had to know more about him!

  “Lady Vinet. Perhaps you should allow your guard to take Niara back to the estate, and we can submit the wolf as this elf’s contribution to the hunt.” Although phrased as a question, it was clear Pellalindra meant it as a command.

  “Heathens,” Ellil’s normally calm voice was exceptionally sharp.

  Vinet tore her gaze away to see that several guards had ridden up. Kinaevan and the elves appeared supremely unconcerned.

  To her surprise, Lord Auriel rode up next to Pellalindra and took her hand. “Stay your hand, your blades, and call back your guards. I know this elf.”

  Her gaze switched to Lord Auriel in shock. He knows Kinaevan? How? Why? When not even I… She took a deep breath. “I am not letting Niara out of my sight,” she said to Pellalindra. She wasn’t letting Kinaevan go easily, either, not if she could help it. “Kinaevan and I will go back to the estate together.”

  Pellalindra seemed taken aback. “If that is what you wish… my guards are available for you should you need them.”

  Vinet met Kinaevan’s eyes. He smiled slightly at her. She swallowed, nearly overwhelmed by the sense of familiarity.

  “No guards,” she said.

  Lord Auriel rode closer and dismounted. Mazda’s light, he was an intimidating man. So poised, so confident, so sure. He smiled at Kinaevan and extended a hand. “You have our hospitality, old friend.”

  Kinaevan took his hand and clasped it. Vinet stared at them both, bursting both with questions and fear.

  “How do you know this elf?” Conn’s voice was whip-like with suspicion.

  Vinet bit her lip. She needed to get Kinaevan out of there. She wanted to ask him questions, not answer those of her fellow councilors.

  Lord Auriel turned to rest his eyes in Conn’s direction. “Do I know you?”

  Despite the tension, Vinet had to conceal a smile. Conn seemed quite taken aback at Lord Auriel’s insistence on politeness.

  Pellalindra cleared her throat. “Lord Auriel, Lord Conn MacTir, one of the council members.”

  “I am certain it is a pleasure,” Lord Auriel said, as if dismissing a sycophant or servant.

  Vinet seized the moment before any other councilors could get involved. “Would you like to ride back to the estate with me?” she asked Kinaevan. “I must… I must thank you for rescuing Niara.”

  “I have not ridden in a long time. If we might walk, then I would be happy to discuss a great many things.” Kinaevan’s eyes met hers with understanding.

  Vinet nodded, and they set off without saying goodbye to any of the nobles. She would probably have to apologize to Pellalindra afterwards, but right then, she just couldn’t care.

  The other three elves vanished back into the trees. After a few minutes of walking, there was no one around but Vinet, Niara, Gwyn, and Kinaevan.

  The silence was unbearable to her, but Vinet couldn’t think of anything to say. The one question she was burning to ask was on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn’t blurt something like that out. Are you my father?

  Niara was completely unaffected by the awkward silence. Supremely happy, she skipped along between Kinaevan and Vinet.

  “You saved her life,” Vinet spoke. “Whatever other reason you had for coming here, you have my sincerest thanks for that.”

  Kinaevan smiled down at Niara. “How could I not? She is queen of the forest. Are you not, little one?”

  Niara beamed. “He says I should have pointed ears!” she told Vinet. “He says that means we’re the chosen of… of… The Lady of the Leaf and Lake!” she beamed triumphantly at Kinaevan. “I remembered!” She looked curiously at Vinet. “Why are we part of the chosen?”

  Vinet felt her face pale again. She met Kinaevan’s eyes as Niara got distracted by a flower. “You know who she is,” she whispered. “She doesn’t. Not yet.”

  “And why is that, elfsdaughter?” Kinaevan said. They all drew to a stop. His eyes met hers, his tone one of both sadness and rebuke.

  She flinched at the unspoken rebuke and drew back. "It was to protect her. To protect myself. Much as my own parentage was hidden from me until I was old enough to understand." She took a deep breath. "Why are you here? Why now? How have I seen you before?"

  Niara seemed to sense Vinet’s mood and moved back from looking at her flowers. “Aunt Vinet?” she asked.

  Vinet leaned down to embrace her and closed her eyes. The things she had done to keep her daughter as her own. The lies she had told… it was all worth it. She had her daughter. She looked up at Kinaevan.

  His eyes flashed. He straightened, his arms at his sides. His plain brown robes flared out, making him appear larger than he was. Slowly, he looked around at the woodlands. “Protection.” The single word held a world of disbelief and question.

  Vinet tightened her embrace of Niara, swallowing the lump of guilt in her throat down. She was not going to let a man who’d disappeared for twenty-seven years tell her what was best for Niara. “Do you know how this land regards bastards?” she demanded. “Or the women who have them? I had been lady of Ninaeva for barely a year. It seemed the safest course of action.”

  For a moment, Kinaevan didn’t appear to have heard her. Then he knelt to speak to Niara face to face. “Niara, good queen, would you like to run along ahead?”

  Niara glanced worriedly up at Vinet who forced a smile. This was not Niara’s fault. Nothing was Niara’s fault. “Let Aunt Gwyn give you a piggy back ride back to the estate, and have her tell the cook to give you some treats. Surely you’d like that?”

  Niara brightened like a ray of sunshine. Gwyn stepped forward and hoisted her up. She stared intently at Vinet. “Are you going to be alright?”

  Vinet nodded, trying to act assured. “I’ll tell you everything.”

  Gwyn frowned. “That’s not what I meant,” she muttered.

  Vinet gave her a pleading look, and Gwyn rolled her eyes. Niara started chattering happily to Gwyn as she started walking away.

  She and Kinaevan stood together in silence once Gwyn left. For a long while, Kinaevan closed his eyes. Despite that, he seemed to be surveying the entire forest around them. Finally, he opened them and looked at her. A smile touched his lips, and Vinet could have sworn she saw a flash of pride as he reached out, gently brushing a strand of hair back behind one of her ears.

  She felt her eyes sting. She swallowed. “Will you tell me who I am to you?” she asked. She felt her throat catch and she looked away. “I know, at least I think I do, but there have been so many half-truths, so many guesses, so many evasions, I… I need to hear you say it.” She couldn’t meet his eyes. She couldn’t let him see her hope and fear.

  “You are my sole daughter, my only child.”

  She met his eyes. He held her gaze. “I see the Lady gave the gift of the eyes to you as well as to Niara.” He stepped back and took a deep breath. Then he seemed to slump, as if the weight of a thousand worlds had suddenly come to rest on his shoulders. “My apologies, Vinet.”

  Vinet took a deep, shuddering breath and wrapped her arms around herself. She was trembling. She took another breath, trying to calm down. “I don’t… I don’t think there’s anything to apologize for, Father.” Her breath nearly caught on the word: father.

  Kinaevan blinked and seemed about to embrace her, then caught himself. “My exile. Leaving you here. Burdening you with an unguided gift. There is plenty I owe you.”

  Vinet couldn’t deny the probable truth of that. But none of that seemed to matter at that moment. “You’re here now,” she said.

&n
bsp; Kinaevan smiled. He still seemed sad, though some of his strength was returning. He spread his arms. “Let me embrace you, my child.”

  She felt her eyes stinging again and she stepped forward into his arms. She was overwhelmed by a feeling of comfort, support, and a deep, intense familiarity. She tightened her embrace.

  "I imagine you have a great many questions. There are many things I can tell you, but there are a great many things that the Lady will not permit one so young in the Sight to know." Kinaevan said.

  She pulled back from the embrace just enough to look him in the eyes, recalling that Niara had mentioned that title. “The Lady?”

  "The Lady of the Leaf and Lake, my daughter. She is whom I serve, whom all Elvenkind once served." His voice cracked briefly with the utterance of the last phrase.

  A flash of memory. A figure over her bed, blade in hand, slumping to the ground with Gwyn’s sword in their chest. She swallowed, remembering her vision. “The Thorn that attacked you is not representative of us all?” Those had been his words, she remembered.

  “Fiends.” His dark eyes were furious. His grip tightened on her. As he looked out into the woods, she noticed a long and terrible scar down his neck. She smothered a gasp.

  "They are...what is the word in this language? They are Untrue. Unfaithful to the Lady." Kinaevan’s voice was harsh as he spoke of them.

  “Unfaithful,” she whispered. “I see.” The nickering of a horse somewhere off reminded her of their location. While they were in private now, that could change.

  She stepped back and straightened her shoulders. “What are your plans, Father? Will you… will you come back to Ninaeva with me? I have so many questions, but there are ears here, and I…” oh no. She thought as the implications of her descent came to the forefront of her mind. “Mazda’s light, what do I tell the Council?” She looked at her father in wide-eyed admonition.