A Mother's Secrets

by Tuppence Van de Vaarst

  She sat down on a bench and closed her eyes, breathing in the smell of life around her. Her senses seemed to tingle. It felt like she was physically reaching into the ground, living, growing, nurturing. Her shoulder blades throbbed, but she was so deep, she barely noticed.

  She heard a throat clear, and she opened her eyes in irritation. She bit back a sharp question when she saw Conn standing next to the bench.

  “Lady Vinet. Might I have a word?”

  Well, at least he seemed calmer than he had been a few minutes ago. She took a breath and nodded. “Of course, Lord Conn.”

  He glanced around the garden suspiciously. Her eyes involuntarily followed his, checking that there was no one eavesdropping on their conversation.

  “Is Lady Pellalindra well?” he said.

  Vinet narrowed her eyes. “She will be, yes,” she said shortly.

  Conn nodded, seemingly distracted. “Good. Despite our disagreements…”

  She waited. This was not what he wanted to talk to her about. Her entire body felt as tense as a harp string.

  He cleared his throat. “The wedding,” he said. “What happened? When Lady Kianna touched you, you were taken ill, or something. But you were not the only one she touched. I know this is the truth,” he said as she opened her mouth. “Do not try to deny it.”

  Vinet closed her mouth again. She waited until Conn asked his question. “Why were you so affected by it?”

  Ignorance. Ignorance was the best defense. “You and I wonder the same thing,” she said, putting all the bitterness she could summon into those words. Bitterness about how little she knew. Bitterness that she could not reveal the child in her vision to anyone.

  “What exactly happened?”

  The best lies have truths. She took a deep breath. “She touched me, and I saw…” she didn’t need to pretend to shudder. She closed her eyes, banishing the memory. “I knew something was wrong,” she said. “I told Kinaevan and Lord Auriel. The rest… well, you know.” She waved a hand. Such a simple summary for such a horrible event!

  Conn regarded her steadily. “Let me be frank, Lady Vinet. Are you a mage? Or training to be one? Because it is odd that ‘a great enemy’ would reveal his plans on purpose, and Alexander, myself, and Lady Pellalindra all touched her without being struck down.”

  Her lungs stopped. Conn suspected her of being a mage? Well, he wasn’t far wrong, but still! She supposed she should be grateful he didn’t suspect her of collaboration to murder Kianna! She took a deep breath, thinking quickly. Part of the truth. “I have studied some magic, yes,” she said. “But mostly theory. I am no mage; not like you mean. But… do you think that just the knowledge could have been enough to trigger that vision?” She let her voice fill with hope.

  Conn smiled grimly. “I see. I didn’t think you could have concealed being a mage, not since Dannan, as much as he tries, cannot conceal his great power.”

  Vinet concealed a flash of anger at the satisfaction in his voice. He didn’t think her capable of deception?

  He nodded in satisfaction. “It makes sense that you are merely a novice. Tell me, what kinds of practice have you done? Perhaps simply being exposed to magical theory is enough to waken a sensitivity.”

  She closed her eyes, thanking Mazda that Conn was not a scholar. He did not know that magic followed bloodlines. She could lie, and he would never know.

  “I’ve mostly read,” she said. She smiled, realizing she could draw on Dannan for an alibi. “Lord Dannan was not pleased when he discovered I had gone through Kreutzer’s library. As to practicing, I can light a candle. But that’s barely anything.”

  From what she knew the ‘barely anything’ part was the most blatant lie. Most mages operated on the theoretical level, a mental plane of energy. To be able to operate on the elemental level was a gift only a few could manage. Dannan was probably powerful indeed, if her guess about the torches reacting to his emotions were true.

  Conn smiled triumphantly. “Then that’s probably it. That is more than I, or Alexander, or Pellalindra can do, which is why you were the one affected.”

  She shrugged. “I suppose that makes as much sense as anything.” She held her breath, praying that he left it at that. She didn’t want him interrogating her further.

  He nodded. “Thank you for telling me, Lady Vinet. You are far more open than some I could name.”

  She suppressed a wince. If only he knew… “If you could keep it from Lord Dannan,” she said softly, “I would be grateful. You and he are friends, I have seen you talking. You must know his feelings about magic.”

  Conn chuckled. “You have my word. Let us hope the rest of the council session goes smoothly. Shall I escort you back inside?”

  She nodded gracefully and let Conn take her arm.

  The atmosphere in the council chamber was stiff and quiet, but that was far better than the volatile shouting match it had been earlier. Pellalindra was still not back, though Vinet was hardly surprised about that.

  As everyone sat down, a servant knocked on the door. Vinet had only to glance at the blue and black Duskryn livery to know what he was there for.

  “Pardon me, my lords, my lady, but I bear a message from Lady Pellalindra. She is bearing Lord Auriel’s child and has taken to bed for the rest of the day. She sends her apologies.”

  Vinet smiled. “Please convey my congratulations,” she told the servant.

  The other councilors joined in politely, even Conn. She was grateful for that. She could understand how he was upset, but she couldn’t tell him the truth. He was too prone to violence, too unpredictable.

  She turned to the rest of the councilors and met Alexander’s eyes. He smiled at her. “Well, shall we turn to the first order of business, then?” she asked.

  Another knock interrupted them before anyone could respond. Vinet turned with the rest to see a servant in the livery of the palace messengers. He looked exhausted.

  Her throat tightened. Somehow, she knew the words he was about to speak. Somehow, she knew.

  “My lords and ladies of the Council,” he said, swaying on his feet. “I bear urgent news. Since the king has taken ill, the Lord Steward directed me to come here immediately.”

  The king ill? Vinet glanced up, seeing equal shock on every other face, including Dannan’s. If even the prince’s tutor hadn’t known, the illness must have been sudden and recent.

  The messenger took a scroll from his belt and unrolled it.

  “From Lord General Lairan. My liege, I have urgent news. Our scouts report an invasion from the south. An army sweeps across our lands. Our Regulars have managed a defensive line, but we have lost fertile land. More urgently, two of our nobles appear to have turned traitor. They have been seen to collaborate with the enemy. I await your instructions and beg you and the Council to authorize the redeployment of the troops from Venia here at once. The situation is urgent. Strange beings have been seen with the army, and we will need every man we have. I serve you faithfully, now and forever. Signed, Lord General Lairan.”

  **********

  Vinet made her way back to her townhouse in a state of exhaustion. The Council had granted Lord General Lairan’s request. How could they not? Jyria had made no aggressive moves towards Venia since they had withdrawn their naval blockade. And all the councilors seemed to understand the gravity of the threat, even if they didn’t understand what was behind it.

  It was Mount Halon. It had to be. Kinaevan had warned her often enough these past months. The corruption had reached Saemar. She had no doubt that was why the two lords had turned traitor. Her shoulder blades ached, and she was acutely aware of the mark on her back. Was Manyu the one behind the corruption? How could they fight against a God?

  She missed Gwyn’s presence at her side. Gwyn had decided that Evalynna should accompany Vinet today, as bodyguard training. In theory, Vinet approved, and she liked Evalynna, but the woman wasn’t her oath-sister.

  It was a relief to be back home. She dismissed Evalynna and
made her way to the library. She just wanted to curl up with a book in front of the fire; a story book, one unconnected to the darkness rising from the south.

  “You think she’d risk a second bastard?” She stopped outside the door of the library. It was Nazir’s voice, coming from inside.

  “Don’t play the fool, Nazir. You are exactly the sort of man she’d fall for. Charming, smart, a scholar, obsessed with history and travel, and completely ineligible.” Gwyn’s voice was sharp and reprimanding. “So be an honorable one as well. Don’t tempt her with what she can’t have. She’s having enough difficulties right now.”

  Vinet caught her breath and steadied herself against the wall.

  “I see,” Nazir’s voice was quiet, so quiet Vinet had to strain to hear. “And what of her heart, Gwyn? Don’t you think she deserves a chance at happiness?”

  “She cannot have a lover, Nazir, and that is the only way nobles and commoners can ever love.” She’d never heard Gwyn’s voice this harsh before. “And if you do anything, anything at all, to upset my lady, or toy with her heart in any way, I will make it my business to deal with you, understand?”

  Vinet turned blindly away. She didn’t want to hear the rest of the conversation. She’d heard enough already. She didn’t pay attention to where she went, but she wasn’t surprised that her steps led her to the garden. She sat down on the ground underneath the maple tree and took a deep breath, trying to process what she’d just heard. Nazir fancied her? Enough that he stood up to Gwyn?

  She closed her eyes, feeling her chest tightening. Ever since Pellalindra’s wedding, they had been closer than ever. He had supported her without questions, without judgment. He had given her the strength she’d needed to face this council session. She wanted…

  “There you are.”

  She glanced up at Gwyn’s voice, hoping her emotions didn’t show too clearly on her face.

  “Evalynna told me you were home,” Gwyn said, sinking to the ground next to Vinet. “Bad council session?”

  Vinet winced. “We’re at war,” she said. “Mount Halon. From the south. Two nobles defected.”

  Gwyn sucked in a breath. “Mazda’s light,” she breathed. “That’s bad.”

  Vinet nodded. “We redeployed the Regulars,” she said. “Lord General Lairan sounds confident enough. But I don’t know what they can do against…” she shuddered.

  Gwyn placed a hand on her shoulder. “They’ll figure it out,” she said. “We have the Faithful, who’ve fought this evil for a long time, remember? They’ll help. And Lord Auriel, despite his mysteriousness, seems devoted to the safety of Saemar.”

  Vinet grimaced. “The king is ill, too.”

  Gwyn frowned, seemingly confused. “How does that make a difference? He’s been absent since the queen died. That’s why there’s a council, isn’t it?”

  She shrugged. “Yes, but he’s just been withdrawn, healing from grief. If he’s ill…”

  Gwyn snorted. “Healing from grief for three years? Uninterested in his duties, if you ask me.”

  Vinet frowned at Gwyn. As much as she might agree with the sentiment, that was not the kind of thing you said about a king.

  Gwyn sighed. “We need to talk,” she said.

  Vinet turned her gaze to the maple tree. Now it came. “What about?”

  “Nazir,” Gwyn was never one to mince words. “Vinet, this has to stop.”

  “What does?” Vinet asked stubbornly. “There’s nothing between us.”

  “Vinet,” Gwyn’s voice was full of exasperation. “Don’t try that on me.”

  She winced and turned to meet Gwyn’s eyes. There was nothing harsh in Gwyn’s expression, just pity.

  “There isn’t,” she insisted weakly. “He’s a friend. A good one.”

  “One you want to be more than a friend,” Gwyn said. “I was there when you fell for Jaim, Vinet. I know you.”

  Jaim. Vinet closed her eyes and shook her head. “This is different.”

  “I should hope so.” Gwyn’s voice made Vinet open her eyes again. “Vinet, you can’t afford another bastard.”

  Vinet winced at the bluntness of Gwyn’s words.

  “You’re a member of the Council now,” Gwyn continued ruthlessly. “Just look at what Pellalindra did. You can’t afford a four-month religious retreat. There will be questions, questions you can’t afford. And what of Niara? What would happen to her after such a disgrace?”

  Vinet felt her throat closing. She couldn’t deny the truth of Gwyn’s words. Pellalindra had married a near stranger to save herself and her son. The scandal for Vinet, who would never marry like Pellalindra, would be devastating.

  “Don’t ask me to send him away,” Vinet begged. “Whatever else, I need his support right now. With this war…”

  Gwyn sighed. “Be careful, Vinet.”

  “I will,” Vinet reached out to grab Gwyn’s hand. “I promise, Gwyn.”

  Gwyn did not look convinced, but at the same time, she looked resigned. She squeezed Vinet’s hand once before standing up.

  A cough from the door made them both look up. Evalynna stood there, looking sheepish. “Pardon me, Lady Vinet, but Lord Dannan of Kreutzer is here to see you.”

  Vinet exchanged a glance with Gwyn. She stood up, brushing herself off. “Show him in,” she said. She nodded to Gwyn, and Gwyn retreated deeper into the garden, out of sight of Dannan.

  Dannan was just as grim and intimidating as ever. He was dressed all in black today, which somehow made his citron eye stand out even more.

  Vinet put on a pleasant smile as she walked forward to greet him. “Lord Dannan! This is a pleasant surprise.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “Hardly, I’d imagine. No need to pretend you’re glad to see me. I need to ask you some questions.”

  His bluntness was a relief. She allowed her smile to fade and crossed her arms over her chest. “What can I help you with?”

  “I was at the wedding,” Dannan said. “I saw part of what happened, but not all. And for the life of me, I cannot discover what happened when Lady Kianna touched you.”

  She gritted her teeth. She couldn’t lie to Dannan. He knew far more about magic than she did.

  “A vision,” she said shortly. “One of destruction and darkness.”

  A single raised eyebrow. “I see. Can you tell me more?”

  She took a breath and closed her eyes. “Venia. A meadow. Fire, war, and hundreds of corpses. Then absolute darkness.”

  The baby’s wail echoed in her mind. The poor mother in the hovel. She shoved the image out of her mind, not wanting to give Dannan a hint she wasn’t telling the whole truth.

  “I see,” Dannan said again.

  She waited as he turned and stared around the garden. They stood in silence for a long moment.

  “Tell me, Lady Vinet, how long have you had visions?”

  She had been half expecting the question. She stared at Dannan, trying to read him. There didn’t seem to be any anger in his expression.

  “Since I was thirteen,” she said quietly.

  He didn’t turn towards her, but she saw the slight smile. “Indeed. Thirteen. It always seems to manifest then, doesn’t it.” It wasn’t a question.

  Her hands tightened on her arms. “Lord Dannan, I know your feelings on magic. But this… I can’t help it!” She could hear the frustration in her own voice. “I can’t not see things! It doesn’t work that way.”

  His gaze snapped towards her, startled. "Oh, I know. You're not enough of an idiot to go looking for visions of the future, I think. Too many mages fall for that trap, constantly obsessed with it, blinding them to the present. That does not sound like you." He paused. "Do you have any idea why you would have this ability? I can sense you have it, but not why."

  She paused, still trying to figure out whether the first part of his words had been a hidden compliment. She shrugged as casually as possible. “I don’t know. I’ve always had it. I’ve been trying to research it, but there is so little written down.
” There was no lie in that sentence. As far as she was aware, her father was the only one who’d ever written anything about the Sight.

  “These things are usually hereditary,” Dannan said. “There’s nothing in your heritage? Your mother? Your father?”

  She felt herself tense and forced her expression to stay calm. “Not that I know of.” She didn’t know how her voice was so calm.

  He stared at her for a long moment. Vinet met his gaze squarely. She didn’t dare look away.

  Finally, he nodded. “Thank you for your time, Lady Vinet. It seems we both have secrets we’d rather not share. I appreciate your candor about this vision, all the same. I will continue to look into this matter.”

  He knows I am hiding something, but he won’t press. At least, not yet. Vinet felt herself relax. She hesitated. “You might want to talk to Kinaevan, the Faithful ambassador,” she said. “He knows a great deal about magic, and this vision. He may be able to tell you more. He told me it was connected to Mount Halon and the south.” She would let her father judge how much Dannan should know.

  Dannan nodded. “It is clear that something in the south wants us destroyed,” he said. “This war…” he shook his head. “Thank you for the information. I will speak to him when I can.”

  She nodded in return. “Anytime, Lord Dannan.”

  He bowed slightly, then turned and left. Vinet stared after him. Somehow, she had the feeling that she’d just made another ally.

  **********

  A baby’s wail. The sound of animals grunting. Mud. Screams. A soothing voice, broken by tears. A skull! It was coming for the child. Hundreds of eyes rolled around and around, over and over each other. They followed her down dark tunnels with no end. She couldn’t escape!

  Vinet woke in a cold sweat, staring at the ceiling. It was midnight. She was still in her townhouse. There was no danger. There was no danger, she told herself again. She took another deep breath before sitting up and rolling out of bed. She wouldn’t be able to sleep now. She never could.