An Unwavering Trust

by L. L. Diamond

  She was taken aback. “She could not have been pleased to endure the resulting trip to London, where she became unwell?”

  He held her gaze. “No, but Anne has been lectured her entire life that, despite her wishes, she would marry Darcy. She no longer has to endure her mother’s insistent arguments, and is thankful to be free of something she always dreaded. Your marriage has made her very happy.” He pulled several letters from his coat and placed one on the table. “She requested me to deliver this to you.”

  Elizabeth picked up the note and stared at the shaky script of her name. “I am glad to hear her fever has abated. I hope the cough does not linger for long.”

  The sound of the front door opening and the tell-tale steps of her husband’s boots, striding through the entry caught her ear. Colonel Fitzwilliam must have recognized it too, since he stood and rounded the chair at almost the same moment Fitzwilliam entered.

  “Richard!” Fitzwilliam exclaimed. The two men clasped hands and Fitzwilliam grasped his cousin’s hand with both of his own. “We have heard nothing from you for so long! We quite feared for news of you.”

  “I have been well—only busy. You should know what a terrible correspondent I am by now.

  Her husband chuckled, strode over, and placed his palm to the small of her back. “You have met Elizabeth, then?”

  “I have met your lovely wife, cousin. She made my cup of tea whilst Mrs. Green has a room prepared.”

  “You will remain with us for some time, will you not?”

  Her husband was so hopeful, yet perhaps the colonel would say no. The sentiment was terrible, but what if he stole Fitzwilliam’s time away from her? Her husband would not forget about her now that his childhood friend was here, would he? The entire idea was nonsensical, but she had been Fitzwilliam’s sole companion since their marriage. She did not want to be replaced, even if it was temporary. The colonel’s answer returned her to the conversation at hand.

  “I am required to report to headquarters in London in a fortnight, although I am unsure what my plans are after I speak to my commanding officer. I do hope I will remain in London for some time.”

  “That is excellent.” Fitzwilliam beamed in her direction, and she reciprocated his smile. At least the gesture was not forced; she dearly loved to see his dimples. “We should celebrate with a drink. Elizabeth, do you mind if the two of us catch up in the library?”

  “Of course not,” she said with a cheer she did not possess. “You wish to visit. I will make certain the colonel’s rooms are completed and send word when he can refresh himself.”

  “I am in no hurry, Mrs. Darcy. I daresay I am used to a bit of dust and the smell of horse.”

  Her husband strode forward and slapped his cousin on the back. “Come, I have an excellent bottle of brandy I have been saving for a special occasion. This most certainly qualifies.”

  They departed towards the library. “You are too good to me, Darcy.” The colonel exclaimed in a cheerful tone.

  Sighing, she resumed her seat and lifted the letter in her hands. There was no time like the present! She broke the seal and unfolded the expensive paper.

  20 June, 1810

  Rosings Park, Kent

  Dear Mrs. Darcy,

  I am so very pleased to address you as such, and that it is not someone addressing me as such. I pray you will not think me too forward by penning this letter, but I am eager to wish you and my cousin joy. If you know the desires of my mother, I am certain this note must seem very odd, yet I am determined to make those sentiments known to you.

  My grandmother, during our recent trip to town, informed my mother and myself that you are a good match for my dour cousin, and I have not the words to express how pleased I am to hear this news. I welcome you to the family, dear cousin, for that is what you are to me now if you do not mind claiming the relation.

  I wish we were able to correspond, so we could become acquainted. My mother would be incensed if she discovered evidence of this note, much less a long-time correspondence, so it is with regret that I will have to bide my time until we happen upon one another.

  I must seal this letter since my mother will, no doubt, soon be here to assess my condition. I wish you and Darcy happy and fruitful lives.

  Anne de Bourgh

  She refolded the missive and traced the letters of her name. Anne de Bourgh’s letter painted her a friendly young woman, despite her mother’s influence. Perhaps, if things were different, they would be friends. As things now stood, she found it doubtful they would ever cross paths.

  “Your wife is stunning,” praised Richard when the door was closed behind him.

  Darcy grinned with pleasure and gestured to a seat. “Thank you. I am quite fortunate.”

  Richard tilted his head to the side while he made an obvious study of Darcy. “Being aware of how your marriage came about, I am happy to see she is quite besotted with you. I would say as much or more so than you are with her.”

  A glass of brandy was passed to his cousin, and Darcy took a seat across from him. “You have seen our grandmother or your parents then?”

  His cousin chuckled. “Both, and they all sang her praises.”

  He stared at the light as it refracted around the glass. Richard thought Elizabeth was besotted with him? Of course, she had feelings for him, but he had never allowed himself to hope she felt more than gratitude and friendship. Could it possibly be true?

  “What has you so contemplative?” asked his cousin. “I hope I did not say something wrong.”

  “Oh… no… I just.” He fidgeted and took a gulp of his drink.

  “Spit it out, man. We have never had secrets between us… well, not many anyway.”

  “You said you believe…” He shook his head. “Pay me no mind. I am being ridiculous.”

  His cousin leaned forward so his elbows were upon his knees. “Say whatever is on your mind. You would not be stumbling so if it were not important.”

  He took another gulp of his drink. “You believe Elizabeth is besotted with me?”

  Richard’s eyebrows rose, and he appeared incredulous. “If anyone else had asked, I would have believed it to be a joke. I saw the warm smile she wore when you entered the room, and she barely removed her eyes from you during our conversation.” He sat back and examined his cousin. “And, unless I am mistaken, she was jealous when I mentioned the possibility I could remain for a fortnight. Your wife was also less than pleased when we departed the drawing room.”

  He startled. “Jealousy? I cannot imagine why…”

  “I would imagine it is because we would spend time riding or fencing, and our activities could take time away from her.”

  Surely, it could not be true! “But it would not be the same!”

  Richard agreed. “No, it would not. Could she have reason to doubt you or your affection?”

  He shrugged. “I have never spoken of my feelings.”

  “Good God man, but why not?” The shock on Richard’s face was evident.

  “I have feared since we became betrothed that one day, I would love her, and she would feel no more than gratitude or friendship towards me.” He paused for his cousin to tease him or make some sarcastic remark, but he did not.

  “I think you should admit to your wife how you feel. She may very well surprise you.”

  Could he allow himself to hope? “You believe she has feelings for me?”

  “I would wager she is as in love with you as you are with her.”

  Fitzwilliam stood, walked to the window, and stared at the row of lavender blooming along the low wall near the kitchens. “I have searched for some alteration in her to indicate a change in her feelings, but I have noticed nothing different. I took it to mean she might be better acquainted with me or we might be friends, but I had no reason to believe she felt anything deeper.”

  “Darcy, if her attachment came on gradually, then you might miss whatever it is you think is indicative of a stronger attachment.”

  “I su
ppose…”

  “No, do not suppose. Confess to her, and see if she admits hers in return. I would wager my horse she does.”

  He regarded Richard with amusement. “That is quite a wager! You love that horse.”

  “That horse is more reliable than any woman I have ever known, and has saved my life a number of times.”

  He laughed, and returned to his chair as Richard’s face changed to a smirk. “Did you have any questions for Uncle Richard now that you are a man?”

  Darcy rolled his eyes and felt his face become warm. “I believe I am doing well enough, thank you.”

  His cousin tilted his head and examined him for some time. “I understood why you remained celibate. Wickham would have exposed you if he had ever gotten any idea you had been with a woman.”

  “It was more than that.” He grimaced, placed his glass on a table, and glanced towards the window where he could see Elizabeth as she walked in the garden. The mere sight of her did much to restore his humour.

  “But you always told me…” came his cousin’s voice from behind him.

  “I cleaned up several of his messes,” interrupted Darcy. “I decided early on not to be anything like Wickham. I would not ruin any woman’s life in such a fashion. Whether she was a prostitute or a wealthy widow, there would be no possibility of me causing them any form of shame or derision. I would not abandon my illegitimate children to wallow in the gutters.”

  Richard stood and placed a hand on Darcy’s shoulder. “I always understood. I may not have taken the same path as you, but it did not mean I belittled your choices or convictions. I envied you them.”

  Darcy was shocked. “You did?”

  “I know I joke about requiring a wealthy heiress, but the truth of the matter is I do not foresee myself marrying or settling down. I have been in the military for ten years, and I am unsure if I could live another way. I dare not presume many heiresses of the ton would have me or be willing to put up with my nonsense.”

  “There might be someone.”

  “No, Darce. I spoke with Anne about my future during my visit to Rosings. She offered to leave me Rosings, did you know?”

  He clapped his cousin on the shoulder. “That is wonderful! You can sell your commission. I am certain your father will allow you to remain with them until you can claim the estate.”

  “I refused her.”

  “You did what?” He was stunned. He would never wish to be sent off to war and could not understand why his cousin would reject such a generous gift.

  “I have no idea how to run an estate.” Richard raised his hand to stop him from interrupting. “I know you and father would help me, but I have no interest in being a landowner. I would feel trapped behind the desk, and would die of boredom.”

  “So, you could allow the steward to run things. Anne was entitled to take control when she gained Rosings from the trust at five and twenty, but she has allowed the current steward to oversee its management.”

  Richard shook his head and took a large gulp of his drink. “It is of no matter. Lady Catherine attempted to force Anne to change her will, but because I refused, Anne has insisted Rosings will be yours when she dies.”

  “Lady Catherine has always known and been furious that her settlement left her nothing more than the dower house and the sum grandfather set aside for her dowry. I am also sure she is aware that I would not allow her to remain at Rosings if I were to inherit. I am amazed she has not arrived on our doorstep to spout her vitriol against myself and Elizabeth.”

  Richard gave a loud guffaw. “I will have you know that you have Anne to thank. She did take ill whilst they were in London and asked to return to Rosings, which they did. Since then, whenever Lady Catherine makes a reference to travelling here, Anne feigns a relapse. She takes to her bed for a day or two. She and Mrs. Jenkinson have even discovered how to fake a slight fever.”

  “I never knew our cousin was so duplicitous!” Darcy chuckled. “I wish I could thank her.”

  “She is thinking of herself as well. Anne has no desire to be hauled to Oxfordshire.”

  Nodding, he peered back out of the window to find his wife had disappeared. He glanced towards each corner of the house in the hopes of catching a glimpse, but she was no longer in sight.

  “I was in earnest when I offered to answer any questions,” said Richard. “The situation would be awkward, but I might be able to offer some advice.”

  His cousin’s offer was mortifying, causing his face to become warm; he shook his head. “Thank you, but no. Elizabeth and I will learn such knowledge on our own.”

  With a snicker, Richard leaned against the wall. “You heard enough at Cambridge and whilst we fenced in London.”

  He faced his cousin with a look of angry shock. “I would never demean my wife by treating her as they do their mistresses or the actresses they bed.”

  Richard angled his head towards him, making it hard to maintain his cousin’s eye. “Perhaps if those, who were married, treated their wives as they did their mistresses, they might not be so dissatisfied at home. Those wives may not have gone looking elsewhere either.”

  He paused, disturbed by the idea. Could Elizabeth be dissatisfied with their intimacy? Her sounds and willingness indicated otherwise, but he needed to discuss it with her, regardless of the embarrassment the conversation would cause. “I will give it some thought.”

  A knock on the door interrupted their conversation, and he called for the person to enter. To his disappointment, Mrs. Green opened the door.

  “The colonel’s room is ready, sir. We also have water warming in the event you wished for a bath, Colonel.”

  “A bath would be most appreciated, thank you. If you could notify my man I will be there soon.” The housekeeper gave a pleased nod and departed with haste.

  “Before I forget, I have been charged with conveying these letters. I believe Grandmamma addressed hers to both you and your wife, but the remainder are yours. I delivered one to your bride from Anne earlier.”

  He started and looked up from the correspondence. “Do you know what it contained?”

  “Anne wished nothing more than to welcome her to the family. Despite what her mother dictates, she is very happy for you, and ecstatic to not have to listen to her mother’s incessant talk of her marriage to you.”

  The letters were placed on his desk as he groaned. “I have wished to write her a note to explain matters.”

  “Her mother would have intercepted it before she knew it existed,” interrupted his cousin. “She understands. Read her letter. I believe she will absolve you of any guilt.”

  Darcy placed his fingers upon his correspondence. “Thank you.”

  Richard set his glass down beside the decanter. “I should be headed to my room; otherwise, the water may no longer be hot.”

  He followed his cousin to the stairs where Richard proceeded to his chamber. Darcy’s first inclination was to seek out his wife; he was fortunate when the lady herself entered through the front doors.

  She caught his eye and arched her eyebrow in the way he loved. “Is there something you required, Mr. Darcy?”

  He ensured his voice remained formal in the event any servants were nearby. “I wish to speak with you a moment, Mrs. Darcy?”

  His arm was outstretched before him, and she stepped forward to place her hand in his. He led her to the library, closed the door behind her, and quickly secured the latch.

  “I should go exchange my boots for indoor slippers,” she said softly.

  He steered her to the sofa, and when she took a seat, he unlaced both shoes, removing them and placing them nearby. “They do not appear muddy today, but if it makes you feel better, they have been removed.”

  He sat beside her and traced his knuckles down the side of her face. He loved how her eyes closed and a look of bliss appeared! “I need to confess something to you.”

  Elizabeth’s eyes opened to reveal a certain amount of worry in her countenance. “I am willing to hear any
thing you need to say.”

  He swallowed hard in an attempt to quell his nerves. “I…”

  She entwined her fingers with his, and he bent down to kiss her knuckles but did not relinquish her hand. Instead, he held it before him, tracing his index finger across the top.

  “I have realised…” He shook his head. “No, you deserve complete honesty.” He was so ill at ease with confessing his heart he could not meet her eye. “When we were in Bath, I came to the realisation that I had fallen in love with you.”

  “You did?” Her voice was almost a whisper, yet it conveyed every bit of her surprise.

  “Yes, but I never told you for fear you would not reciprocate those sentiments.” He took a chance and lifted his eyes to her face.

  She was biting her bottom lip, suppressing a smile. “But you would have heard them in return, because whilst we were there I had the same realisation about you.”

  “You did?”

  “I did, and I had the same fears as you. I thought I would wait until I had some indication that you felt the same.”

  His palms cradled her face, and he claimed her lips with his. “I feel like such an idiot. I have been so worried you would never feel the same, that you might merely feel gratitude, but nothing deeper; I have deprived both myself and you of saying and hearing those precious words.”

  She returned his soft kiss and grinned. “Then we should not deprive ourselves any longer.” Her lips met his again and she leaned her forehead against his. “I love you, Fitzwilliam Darcy.”

  In a futile attempt to control his emotions, he gulped hard. “And I love you, Elizabeth Darcy.”

  He again captured her lips; this time determined it would not be a short interlude. His arms wrapped around her to press her closer to him as his tongue darted between her lips. He could barely contain his joy when hers sought access to his mouth to caress his own.

  He had to have more. As he pulled her astride his lap, her gown bunched around her thighs. He was inflamed and attacked the buttons on her bodice, wanting her to be as mindless with want as he was. Once her upper body was bared, he pressed kisses to the exposed flesh, relishing the taste and feel of her creamy skin against his lips.