Chasing Mercury

by Kimberly Cooper Griffin

  “Your mother said you’d spent the night. The internet called him your fiancé.”

  There it was.

  “Oh, Nora! He was my fiancé. He isn’t anymore. It seems I had some entanglements to unwind. It’s a long story. I didn’t want to worry you before I could figure out a way to—”

  “I would have understood, Elizabeth. I wouldn’t have liked it, but I would have understood. I just don’t get why you didn’t tell me when you found out. I kept waiting, thinking you’d bring it up. I totally get it. It’s hard. I get it. But not telling me about your fiancé, and still talking to me like… like… well, I get the feeling that maybe you weren’t going to tell me.”

  “No wonder you sounded so weird in the message. You have to believe me. You do believe me, right?”

  Nora didn’t answer at first. 4B heard her breathing, and there was a hitch in her voice. “Nora, honey, are you okay? Are you crying?” asked 4B quietly.

  “4B… Aunt Mace… Aunt Mace died this morning…”

  The news hit 4B like a blast. Aunt Mace? Dead? She needed to get to Nora. She needed to be with her, comfort her.

  “Oh, No! God, Nora. I am so sorry. Where are you?”

  Nora drew a deep breath, like she was trying to pull herself together.

  “I’m at the hanger. Tack will be flying in any minute now.”

  “Good. You have someone to be with. Oh, Nora. I just want to be there with you so badly right now. I want to explain all of these things that have you worried. It’s all so convoluted, but if I was there, I could prove to you…”

  “I understand. You have your life, your entanglements…”

  4B grasped her phone, wishing she could crawl through it right then.

  “You’re more important than all of that. You know that, right?”

  Nora didn’t respond and 4B could hear her trying to get her breathing under control. It scared her that the woman she knew as strong and confident was having such a hard time pulling it together.

  “Hey, anyway, Tack just rolled up. I gotta go.”

  “Nora! Wait! I have something to tell you… I… I love you.”

  There was no reply. 4B looked at her display and saw the call had ended. Had Nora heard what she said? She tried to call back several times but only got Nora’s voicemail. She hung up each time without leaving a message.

  For the second time in less than twenty-four hours, 4B went downstairs and grabbed her mother’s car keys. But as she was walking out the door, her mother stopped her and asked her where she was going.

  “Juneau.” She didn’t say why or provide any other information, but her mother seemed to understand.

  “I see you have your phone, at least. You’ll probably need this, too.” Roslyn grabbed 4B’s wallet and tossed it to her. “I took that pesky fake ID out of there. I can’t have my daughter forgetting who she is again, or getting picked up by TSA with something like that. The last thing I need to worry about is giving those damn Republicans something to chase around in the media! And call me as soon as you arrive!”

  4B was already opening the car door.

  “Welcome to Juneau, Alaska, the capitol of the largest state in the union, where it is currently forty-three degrees Fahrenheit with a high probability of a foot or more of snow in the next twelve to twenty-four hours. I hope you all packed your parkas and your mukluks! On behalf of North Star Airlines, thank you for flying with us. We know you have a choice, so thanks for choosing us. For those of you ending your journey here…”

  The flight attendant continued her spiel as the plane taxied to the gate. The first thing 4B did was send a text to her mother telling her she’d finally landed in Juneau. Then she checked the weather app on her phone to compare it to what the flight attendant had just said about the snow. It looked like it was going to be cold. Not just cold, frigid cold. It had been lovely in Juneau just over a week earlier. It didn’t matter, she’d left with nothing but her wallet and cell phone, and unless she wanted to freeze to death in the yoga pants and sweater she currently wore, she had to find a place to purchase some clothes to wear during her stay, however long it ended up being.

  The flight attendant’s cheery voice continued to chime through the overhead speakers with information about connecting flights. The activity level in the airplane cabin rose as occupants started to get out of their seats despite the attendant’s warning to wait for a complete stop. When the door latches were popped, 4B stood to stretch in the wide first class aisle. It had been a long night and an even longer flight. The total time she had spent traveling was lost on her, what with the long layover in Seattle along with the time change between the East Coast and Juneau, and it was hard to digest that it was now mid-morning of the day after she had set off. She was tired and stiff from the trip, which, thankfully, had been uneventful. Also, she had been one of only two occupants in first class on the long second leg of her journey from Seattle, which had given her plenty of room to stretch out. Even so, halfway through the flight, she’d moved to seat 4B just to see if it would spark any response in her. It hadn’t. Maybe it was because she had taken the Benadryl, but she still had no memory of the crash, and therefore no nervousness about flying again. She was glad she hadn’t taken the over-the-counter sedatives her mother had suggested when she’d called from the airport to tell her that she’d booked the flight.

  She had purchased a paperback novel at the airport before she’d departed, but it had gone mostly unread, her memories more interesting than the words in print. Worries about what awaited her in Juneau had tried to sneak in, so she had focused instead on reliving the days she had spent with Nora in the forest of Valdez, as well as their short time together in Juneau. The trip was long, but went by quickly with the help of the internal picture show she played behind her closed eyes.

  Heeding the flight attendant’s warning about the pending snow, she tried to find a parka in the shops at the airport, but was thwarted by the airport’s small size and limited shopping opportunity. Shivering in the morning chill when she got into the first available car in the line of taxis waiting at the curb in front of the airport, 4B asked her cab driver to take her by the place where locals purchased their winter gear. He looked at her and winked.

  “Forgot you were headed into the wild, did you?” He nodded at her thin sweater and yoga pants.

  “Something like that,” she said, feeling like an unprepared girl scout showing up to her first camping trip without a sleeping bag. At least she was wearing tennis shoes instead of her normal flip-flops.

  The Mercantile had a good selection of parkas, and she selected a white one with faux fur lining. She felt like she looked like a polar bear when she tried it on but it was warm and fit well. Then she picked out some jeans, a couple of western shirts, and some very utilitarian cotton underwear. Instead of the suggested mukluks, she bought a pair of hiking boots, hoping the choice in footwear would help her to blend in better with the locals. The clerk didn’t bat an eye when she came out of the dressing room with a handful of tags and her travel clothes rolled up in a ball. 4B scanned the store to see if Ship was there, but she didn’t see her.

  The cab driver, whom she had asked to wait, nodded his approval when she got back into the car and gave him Nora’s address.

  “We’re sure gonna miss Old Mace,” he said when she told him her destination. “She was one wickedly funny old bean, that one. And she never let her fame change her.”

  “I guess she’s a celebrity up here, huh?”

  “Oh, yeah. She’s like royalty around here. Known on every continent and in most every country. She spiked our tourism just from the folks that come to see where she lives. Computers sure have changed the world, I tell you. We have a few famous folks up here—artists, writers, Olympians. There are two internet celebrities just on this road alone.”

  “Is that so?” she asked just to be polite.

  “Yup. Aunt Mace is one of them. The other is a lady who is famous for showing folks a good time, if yo
u get my inference.”

  4B responded with what she hoped was the right amount of ambiguous interest, not knowing if the taxi driver was proud of their infamous internet sensation or not. She was glad Juneau was as small as it was, because they pulled up in front of the whimsically landscaped house before he could regale her with more fun facts. She would have liked to hear more about Aunt Mace, but she wanted to hear it from Nora.

  Although it hadn’t yet materialized, the threat of the promised snowfall was heavy in the air when 4B stepped out of the cab. She paid the driver and gathered the bags holding her purchases. Turning up the gravel path to the house, 4B suddenly felt the brashness of her impulse to travel halfway across the world without letting anyone know she was coming. The sky was low, the day was dark, and the large front window of Aunt Mace’s A-frame was lit from inside, displaying a room full of people, though there were few cars parked in front. It was a testament to the pedestrian lifestyle of the native Juneauites. 4B stood on the path and watched the people inside move and interact, and she wondered if she should go up to the house first, or go directly around back to Nora’s place. Her decision was made for her when an old woman walked up behind her and ushered her up the porch steps.

  “I know, honey. It hurts our mortal hearts to lose such a wonderful woman, but the ecclesiastic kingdom is celebrating its newest member. God willing, we’ll see her soon enough, some of us sooner than others, I dare say. I, for one, hope St. Peter will take me to see her soon.”

  Elphie’s pious remark sparked a memory of Aunt Mace’s scrunched up face when Elphie had stooped to pick up pretzels the night she and Nora had interrupted their poker game. Elphie had said a little prayer for their safe return from what she’d called “the viper’s nest”, and when she turned her back, Aunt Mace had pretended to cross herself and pray. The memory provided 4B with sweet nostalgia and it helped to propel her forward. Nora was inside there somewhere, and she needed her.

  As soon as they crossed the threshold, Elphie scurried into the living room to take over direction of the small group of musicians who had assembled. The gathering was the closest thing to a wake that 4B had ever experienced. The liquor flowed and stories were spun, all while a lively quartet of musicians played music in the corner of the small front room. A man who looked a little like Santa Claus, with his white beard and red thermal shirt with black suspenders holding his jeans up under a big round belly, pressed a plastic cup that was three-quarters full into her hand. He shuffled away before she had a chance to ask him what was in it. She watched him fill other cups before he disappeared into the kitchen.

  4B took a sip of the drink, shuddered at the strength of the concoction, took another, and began to wander slowly through each crowded room in search of Nora. She would never have guessed the house could fit so many people. There were pods of people in every room, taking up every seat, occupying most of the open space. Finally, there was only the kitchen left and, with no sign of Nora, she leaned against the sink and looked out the back window. There weren’t any lights on in Nora’s little house. Was she huddled all alone in the dark, clutching her grief, mourning the loss of her beloved Aunt Mace? 4B’s heart stung thinking about it and she put her empty cup down ready to go find her.

  “4B? That you? Well, fuck me! It is!”

  A heavy hand fell on 4B’s shoulder and she turned around, her eyes coming to rest on an ample bosom contained within a baggy workshirt. She looked up and into the rheumy eyes of Ship, where she witnessed an agony of pain swimming in their watery depths. 4B was certain that under normal circumstances Ship would have been uncomfortable with any close physical gesture, but right then, she didn’t care. She leaned in and pulled Ship tight. Ship accepted the hug and clung to her like a child—a child who was twice as big as she, but needing comfort just the same.

  “Oh, Ship,” she said, her voice muffled against the warm softness of the old woman’s chest. “I’m so sorry. I came as soon as I heard.”

  “Christ. You know, we all knew it was coming, and I gotta be happy for her it was quick. Right? But, shit, it hurts in your heart, you know?” asked Ship, pulling away and rubbing the center of her chest. She held herself steady with a handful of 4B’s shirtfront and that’s when 4B knew Ship was drunk. Beyond drunk. She was barely standing. 4B put her hand on Ship’s elbow and led her to a chair at the table, where Ship sat down, nearly missing the seat. Then the large woman buried her head in her arms and sobbed. It was heartbreaking to see the tough butch weep like that. The woman’s grief was deep. She had lost her oldest friend, and probably the only person in her life who truly understood her. 4B could see why she would want to numb herself with alcohol. She hoped one day someone would feel that way about her passing.

  She stood with her hand resting on Ship’s trembling back. She stared at the dark house in the yard, torn between staying with Ship and going to find Nora. Nora. An almost physical pull compelled her, but fear kept her in her place. Nora had sounded so distant on the phone. Now that she was here, would Nora want to see her? 4B wavered. She didn’t want to leave Ship alone with her grief anyway.

  Elphie approached and clucked her tongue.

  “Two days in a row, Ship. You’re too old to do that to yourself. Come on, tough guy. I’ll walk you home before you fall asleep where you sit.”

  To 4B’s surprise, Ship stood up and let Elphie lead her out of the kitchen toward the front of the house.

  “Just you don’t start your praying, Elphie. Lightning’s likely to strike me down before your very eyes if you get me down on my knees,” said Ship, and as she passed 4B, she winked, though her cheeks were still wet with tears.

  “Hush up, Ship. The Lord would provide you with comfort if only you would open your heart to him.”

  “Open my wallet to him is more like it.”

  4B lost the trail of the two women’s conversation as they moved into the living room and she marveled at the unlikely friendships that were forged in the wilds of Alaska.

  The man who looked like Santa Claus approached her again, and seeing that 4B no longer held a cup, wordlessly gave her a new one and upended two liquor bottles into it until it was nearly full. Then he pulled another bottle from his back pocket to add a dash of something else. It was too quick for 4B to see what they were, but since he stood in front of her after he was done, watching her with an expectant smile, she lifted it in a cheer, smiled back, and took a sip. A surprising taste of black licorice filled her mouth. It was delicious. Much better than the first drink. She raised the cup in another cheer to him and he smiled before he shuffled away.

  4B took the Mercantile bags and her drink out through the back door and headed over to Nora’s house. She could smell the damp earthiness of Glacier River running in the channel behind the houses. In the short time she had been gone, the smell had gone from late summer to that of mid-fall edging into winter.

  She climbed the wooden steps, and when there was no answer to her knock, she tried the doorknob. It wasn’t locked. She didn’t think it would be. She stuck her head in and called Nora’s name. There was no answer but Java came running down the steep stairs from the loft at the sound of her voice.

  The little house was dark and silent as she entered, and the small black cat weaved between her feet. The smell of the house reminded her of Nora and a poignant yearning filled her heart.

  There was no sign of Nora downstairs, so she climbed the steep stairway to the bedroom, hoping to find her there, but Nora wasn’t there, either.

  She left her bag at the foot of the bed, went downstairs and out to the front porch. She opened her phone and called Nora’s cell for the first time since arriving. There was no answer. As the call rolled over to voicemail, 4B noticed Nora’s Jeep was not parked out front where Nora had parked it the last time she’d been there.

  She left her empty plastic cup on the porch railing and started to walk. As she left the front yard of Aunt Mace’s house, three more people arrived, toting heavy bags emitting the clanking sou
nds of glass bottles. The already full house was going to be packed soon and it looked like the party had just begun.

  4B walked down the dirt road toward town. Sooner than she expected, she was on the paved road, where she missed the accompanying sound of the gravel crunching under the soles of her new hiking boots. The days were shorter in Alaska, and she was struck by how early the sun seemed to be setting. The low sky enhanced the dimming of the late afternoon.

  The parking lot of The Strut was empty when she arrived, but she was still surprised to find herself the lone customer when she went in. The jukebox was silent, and the only sound in the place was the low sound of the one television set turned to a soccer match. After 4B’s last visit there, the quiet was eerie. Crystal stood behind the bar spinning a damp towel, watching the game. She turned when the door slapped shut.

  “Well, well, well. I wondered if you’d be back.” Crystal tossed aside the towel she’d been holding and used the remote control to turn down the sound of the TV. The only sounds now were the steady stream of water that issued from the sink Crystal was filling and the tap of her fingertips against the bar.

  “Hi, Crystal,” said 4B, looking into the back corner to see if she’d missed anyone in the empty tavern. Crystal leaned her hip against the polished surface of the bar and crossed her arms over her chest.

  “It’s just you and me. She and Tack went out on a provision run this morning,” said Crystal, before 4B could ask. 4B was comforted to know Nora might be arriving soon. Her stomach fluttered in anticipation.

  “When will they be back, do you know?”

  “Soon, I think. Shoulda been back by now, actually. They were dropping off orders from the Mercantile to some folks out past Turner Lake. They got most of it out yesterday, so there were only a couple of stops today. Besides, the snow looks like it might be early.”

  A thread of apprehension snuck into 4B’s mind.

  “I suppose it’s not good for them to be out in the snow?” asked 4B, thinking about the one or two flakes she’d seen drop right before she entered the bar.