Rogue

by Izzy Gomez

  "Who's Gabby?"

  The only person besides Todd she could count on. Maybe the only one.

  But she wasn't ready for that yet, either.

  "We've been friends since we were kids."

  Greg ran his hand over her hair, kissed her forehead, then stepped back. "OK. Get outta here. I'll make excuses for you to Brown.”

  "Technically, this is work." God. Just saying it made her nauseous. "That was Sensitive Crimes. She's refusing to talk to them. So I have to go."

  This couldn't be happening. She had a sensation of floating outside herself, of looking down on her and Greg and observing from afar.

  Karen she could take. Hank too. She and Dad would patch things up. But if anything happened to Gabby…

  Face stricken, blue eyes radiating sympathy, Greg cupped her face. "I'm so sorry. I hate seeing you go through this."

  He kissed her, fierce and protective. Not a kiss to curl her toes or make her forget everything and drag him back to bed. This kiss told her that her pain was his. He would fight this battle by her side.

  He cared.

  A prospect nearly as frightening as Gabby being hospitalized. She pulled away from him and stepped back, off balance.

  The compassion in his gaze made her chest heavy. She couldn't cry. She didn't have time.

  "Keep me posted, OK?"

  Unable to maintain eye contact, she busied herself collecting her purse. "Sure. I'm sure I'll be in later.

  In and out of consciousness.

  How long would it take for Gabby to tell Amanda what happened? Would she be able to press her best friend for details, the way she did with witnesses she didn't know?

  Doing her best to suck all her emotions back inside, she slung her purse over her shoulder. As she walked past him toward the door, Greg caught her arm.

  "I…" His eyes searched her face. "I'm not going anywhere."

  Greg waited until he heard the front door close before letting loose. A bellow erupted from his chest. He swiped his arm across the night stand, sending his alarm clock and a picture of his parents flying. He grabbed a pillow and swung. It smacked the wall with a muffled thunk.

  He swung again. Three times. Four. Ten. Twenty.

  When his arms ached too much to continue, he heaved the pillow across the room and dropped to his back on the bed.

  His juvenile outburst did nothing to lessen the helplessness surging through him. As a cop, he was supposed to be finding justice for Amanda and her family. Instead there was another person dead and a third in the hospital. And until someone proved otherwise, he couldn't believe it was coincidence Amanda's best friend was raped the same day as Hank's murder.

  As a cop, he was doing a pretty shitty job.

  And as a man, he was an even bigger failure. As a man, his instinct was to protect the woman he was falling for. Instead her life was coming apart. And he felt powerless to stop it.

  After Phil died, Greg had given up his goal of becoming a journalist and instead become a cop. He'd wanted to take back some control in his life. Not since the day he watched his brother die had he felt so impotent.

  Dammit, Amanda deserved better than this.

  Channeling his frustration, he stalked toward the front door. He pulled out his cell and dialed.

  “Voegler.”

  “Meet me at Hank’s. I'm tired of this shit. Let's finish it."

  Amanda had been in hospital rooms visiting victims and witnesses plenty of times. But, like everything else about this case, this time was different. This time it was her best friend lying weak and helpless in the bed. Gabby’s freckles practically jumped off her cheeks against her ghostly pallor.

  She’d lost a lot of blood, Gabby’s mom said. Required a transfusion. Helen Fischer was a mess, her normally perfect make-up streaked down her cheeks. She looked like a clown caught in a downpour. She sat on the side of the bed, Gabby’s limp hand between hers.

  The incessant beep beep beep of the monitors was about to make Amanda jump out the window. Couldn’t they make those damn things with a mute button?

  An hour passed and Gabby didn’t stir. Amanda sat in a chair, concentrating on not tapping her foot or bouncing her leg or getting up to pace or doing any of the other nervous things she wanted to do. It took all her concentration to keep from grabbing Gabby and shaking her until she opened her eyes. On the plus side, it kept Amanda from thinking about anything else. It kept her from thinking about who might have done this.

  In truth, she already knew. But she was nowhere near ready to go there.

  A moan from somewhere under all the tubes and wires snapped Amanda and Helen to attention. A second moan followed, louder and more agonized. Gabby’s legs moved and she cried out.

  “Don’t try to move, baby.” Helen stroked Gabby’s pinched face. “I know it hurts. But it’s going to be OK. You’re going to be OK.”

  “Amanda,” Gabby croaked, her voice dry and tight. “Is Amanda here?”

  Amanda took Gabby’s free hand. “I’m right here.” She forced herself to meet Gabby’s pain-glazed eyes.

  They focused briefly on Amanda, then filled with tears. “It was him, Amanda.”

  Amanda closed her eyes. If Gabby would say any name except the one Amanda knew she would say, Amanda would give her soul to Satan himself. For free.

  Realizing she was shaking her head, she forced herself to open her eyes and focus on Gabby. This wasn’t about Amanda, this was about her friend. Gabby needed her, needed her to be strong. Needed her to be a cop.

  “Who was it, baby? Who did this to you?” Helen brushed Gabby’s limp red hair off her forehead.

  Gabby’s gaze didn’t leave Amanda’s face.

  Her lips moved but the voice coming out was so weak, Amanda didn’t hear it. But she knew.

  “What was that?” Helen asked.

  Gabby squeezed her eyes shut. Tears leaked from the corners. Amanda stroked her hand, trying to tell her it was OK.

  “It was Todd.” She opened her eyes, her face pleading. “I’m so sorry, Amanda. I’m so sorry.”

  Amanda struggled to hold back her own tears but one burned its way down her cheek. “Why are you sorry?” Inside she started trembling. If it weren't for Gabby's hand in hers, she would have wrapped her arms around herself and collapsed.

  It was true. She’d known, somewhere in the back of her head. For a day, at least. But now it was out there. Spoken aloud. She couldn’t deny it or pretend she wasn’t thinking it.

  Todd raped Gabby. And Amanda knew with absolute certainty, the kind she would put her hand on the bible and swear to under oath, Todd killed Karen and Hank.

  Dizziness and nausea swept through her and she had to sit down on the bed. Oh God. Oh God. No no no no no no no. This couldn’t be happening. It couldn’t be real.

  “Todd? Todd Schreiber?” Helen looked from Gabby to Amanda, back to Gabby.

  Gabby started to nod, then groaned and squeezed her eyes shut. “Mom, can you go find the nurse and tell her I need more pain meds? I need to talk to Amanda alone.”

  Helen looked like she might protest, then shut her mouth and let go of Gabby’s hand. “Maybe I’ll go find a cup of coffee.” She gave Amanda a look of such sympathy it broke Amanda's heart all over again.

  When they were alone, Gabby struggled to turn toward Amanda. Her face contorted in pain.

  Amanda put a hand on her shoulder and nudged her back onto the pillow. “Stop. You know better than to move around.”

  “I’ll be fine.” Gabby’s voice was breathy with pain.

  “You nurses make the worst patients.”

  Gabby could have died. Not only had he raped her, he’d ruptured her spleen. Her kidneys were bruised to the point she was peeing blood.

  And Amanda's big brother was responsible. Dizziness rolled through her, followed by what felt like an ice bath. What he’d done to Gabby was worse than killing Karen and Hank.

  “I need to tell you what happened,” Gabby said.

  “You don’t have
to right now.” Amanda wasn’t sure she could hear it. Maybe she could convince Gabby to tell Det. Williams.

  “No, I need to tell you before I forget. I don’t want to leave something out.”

  “Are you telling me this as your friend or as a cop? Because it might be—“

  “Both.” Gabby squeezed Amanda’s hand. “Please. I need to do this. I need to help you find him. He can’t keep doing this.”

  Gabby paused and took several slow, deep breaths. Amanda watched, useless. What else could she do? She wanted to help her friend. And of course she wanted to find Todd. But she honestly didn’t think she could hear it without completely breaking down. This case was going to put her in the loony bin.

  When Gabby opened her eyes, they were clearer. “He’s going to come after you.”

  Ice slid through Amanda, chilling her from the inside out. Everything felt off-kilter. She had another moment where she felt like she was watching from outside herself.

  “He said that?” She hated how weak and scared her voice sounded. Dammit, she was not that timid little girl anymore. She was an adult and a cop and a strong woman.

  "Not in so many words. He said he did all this for—" Gabby's voice cracked. She cleared her throat.

  Amanda went to the sink and filled a plastic cup. Look at that, her hands were shaking. The liquid sloshed around in the cup as she returned to the bed.

  Gabby tried to hide her pain, but Amanda didn't miss her wince as she reached for the drink. "Thanks." She took several slow swallows.

  "You need more drugs."

  Why was Todd doing this? Why was he destroying everything around her? And what had Gabby been about to say? "You said he did this all for something. For what?"

  Gabby settled back on the pillow and closed her eyes. "He did it for you. For the two of you."

  Amanda thought she'd been cold before in her life. When she was a rookie patrol officer and hadn't dressed for the surprise snowstorm that blew in during her shift. When Zack convinced her to do the Polar Bear Plunge on New Year's Day. A moment ago, when Gabby said Todd was the one who raped her.

  But none of that compared to the absolute chill of hearing the chaos of the past week was for her. Unable to stop the shaking, she collapsed into the bedside chair and lifted trembling hands to her face. "No, that can't be right. How is any of this for me?"

  She was going to be sick. Gabby was the one who'd been raped; Amanda was the cop. Yet she was the one who was about to lose the breakfast she hadn't eaten.

  "I don't know." Gabby's voice wavered. "I'm sorry, Amanda. I just don't know."

  Amanda stared at her best friend, pale and bruised on the bed, and had to wipe tears from her eyes. "Why are you sorry? You didn't do anything. Todd's the one who's fucking everything up. God, I'm sorry. You're the one he put in the hospital."

  She forced herself to her feet, willing her legs to hold her. "Can I…" She gestured at all the tubes and wires and bandages. "Can I hug you? Or will that make you hurt more?"

  Gabby's smile didn't reach her eyes, but it was a start. "I've got a few cracked ribs, so not too tight. But we can probably do, like, a middle school dance kind of hug."

  A huff of laughter escaped. Leave it to Gabby to make jokes.

  "How about this instead, so I don't risk it?" Amanda leaned in and kissed her friend on the forehead.

  Gabby reached for Amanda's hand and laced their fingers together. Squeezed with uncharacteristic weakness. "Thanks."

  Pulling in a fortifying breath, Amanda returned to the chair. "OK, tell me what happened so you can get more drugs and pass out." She knew her friend well enough to see the strain around Gabby's mouth as she bit back pain.

  "Todd called around 10:00 last night. Said he had to talk." Gabby's eyes again glazed, a different kind of pain.

  Amanda could do this. If Gabby could say it all out loud, Amanda could hear it.

  "He's been calling a lot since…well, since that night I told you about. I'd had a long day and didn't want to talk to him. So I told him I was going to bed and essentially hung up on him." She made a noise that was probably a laugh. "Guess that was a mistake."

  Amanda forced her mouth into a sympathetic smile. It felt awkward and wrong.

  "So I went to bed. When I woke up, he was there. In my room." She closed her eyes and turned her head away. "In my bed. He was…he didn't have any clothes on and he was touching me and…"

  The crack of pain in Gabby's voice was too much. Amanda sat forward and grabbed her friend's hand. "It's OK. He can't hurt you now." What a lie. Gabby would carry this with her for the rest of her life.

  Amanda tamped down the rage creeping in around the edges. Like tears, rage was a luxury she couldn't afford.

  "I tried to get out of bed. At first I didn't realize what was going on. I was mad at him. I didn't realize I should be scared. Then he got on top of me and pinned my arms under my back. I know it was the wrong thing to do, but I started begging him."

  Tears rolled down Gabby’s cheeks. She didn't seem aware of them, so Amanda stood and wiped them away with her thumb. She couldn't stand the sight of those tears. Couldn't stand knowing her own brother caused them. For an instant, the room swayed, then everything was right again.

  Except nothing was right.

  "But he couldn't. just like the other time, he…couldn't." Gabby took Amanda's hand and held it firm. Amanda hadn't realized she'd started stroking Gabby's cheek.

  "Sorry." Amanda withdrew her hand.

  "No, I'm sorry," Gabby said. "I don't want to be touched right now."

  The rage pressed so hard against Amanda's chest she thought it might break her sternum. She bit down on the inside of her lips and nodded.

  "He started…talking. He told me everything. About Karen. And what she did to him." This time she wiped away the tears before they got far. "Oh my God, the things she did to him. It was so much worse than we knew."

  Amanda's mind tried to wrap around the information. Whatever abuse Todd endured, it didn't justify the heinous things he'd done. "What did she do?"

  "She was a monster," Gabby whispered.

  No. She couldn’t mean...Even Karen wasn't awful enough to seduce her own stepson. Was she?

  "Did she…did they? They never…" She couldn't even get the word out; it was too horrible.

  Gabby's sweet face twisted in anguish. "No. She never touched him. But in some ways, it was so much worse."

  "How?"

  Gabby shuddered, then immediately winced. She pressed her hand to her ribs. Her head dropped back to the pillow.

  Silence hung long and thick between them. Impatience shimmered over Amanda's skin. She wanted to know. Needed to know. But hard as this was, Gabby was the one in a hospital bed.

  “I’m sorry,” Gabby said, breathless. “I need...a minute. That hurt.”

  “Stop apologizing.” It came out harsher than Amanda intended. She immediately sank back into the chair and covered her face with her hands. What the hell had Karen done to Todd?

  And why now? He hadn’t lived with Karen for eighteen years. After all this time, what made him snap?

  Gabby sucked in a loud, slow breath. “OK.”

  Amanda met her friend’s gaze. Gabby’s usually bright blue eyes were hollow. Like someone turned down the dimmer switch inside her.

  Amanda wasn’t sure which she wanted to do more, scream or cry.

  “What did Karen do to him? How did she...how was she worse to him than she was to me if she never touched him?” As if she didn’t know there were a million ways a parent could hurt their child without lifting a hand.

  “She tortured him.” Gabby’s voice was weaker than before, more strained. She wouldn’t be able to keep up the conversation much longer.

  Which was good. Amanda was reaching her limit.

  “She would go in the bathroom when he was in the shower.” Gabby took a sip of water. “She’d take off her clothes and...touch herself.”

  Amanda’s stomach convulsed. Horrible image
s flashed through her mind. The bathroom they used growing up had a glass door on the shower, not a curtain. Todd wouldn’t have been able to do anything but watch.

  “She would insist he touch himself.” Gabby’s face twisted in disgust. Amanda imagined the same awful pictures were playing through both their minds. “And she would make him...finish.”

  Amanda wrapped her arms around herself. It couldn’t be true. Yes, human beings were capable of doing horrid things to each other. And Karen had done her share of horrid things to Amanda and Todd.

  But this was beyond anything she could have imagined. This happened to other people. Not her brother. Not the only person she’d been able to count on her whole life.

  “Oh God.” It came out between a wail and a moan. “Gabby, oh God.”

  “She did it at night, too.” Gabby's horrified voice was barely a whisper. “Went in his room and locked his door. Stood there and touched herself and made him do it.”

  Amanda shook her head. Her eyes and throat burned. “Please don’t tell me more. I can't—" Dammit, she was going to cry too.

  “I’m sorry. I'm so sorry.” Gabby choked on a sob.

  Amanda lunged for her hand and squeezed hard enough to break bones. But she didn’t care. What she really wanted to do was throw herself into her best friend’s arms and have a girly cry-fest. And then go do something cliché like eat ice cream and watch sappy movies.

  Except this wasn’t Gabby’s boyfriend dumping her a week before prom. This wasn’t even Zack calling off the wedding. This was Todd destroying both their lives.

  No, dammit. He would not. Karen had destroyed large portions of her childhood and her carefree youth. And Amanda had let that continue into adulthood.

  It ended here. Now. Gabby would be his last victim.

  Still holding Gabby’s hand, Amanda sat on the side of the bed. “Listen to me. We’re going to find him. He can’t hurt you anymore. And these guys,” she nodded toward the hall where Detective Williams waited, “know what they’re doing. They’ll put you in touch with people who can help you. We’ll get you through this. I’m not letting him ruin your life too.”