Save Me

by Alexander, AJ

  “Why?” she asks, pulling back to look up at me.

  “I wanted to know if anything happened to you. I needed to see you again and make sure you were alright. Why didn’t you tell me about your little girl when you came in to see me?”

  “You didn’t ask, and you aren’t my friend, you’re my doctor,” she states.

  “I could be. I could be more, if you would let me,” I whisper.

  “I should get back to Sophie.”

  I tightened my arms around her. “You can’t go back to him.”

  “I don’t have a choice. He’s her father,” she argues, a defeated tone in her voice.

  “No father would break his daughter’s arm because she was hungry! You do have a choice. Don’t go back. Please,” I beg.

  “We have nowhere else to go. I have no friends or family, no money for a hotel.” She’s talking to my chest again, doesn’t want to meet my eyes.

  Tears once again begin streaming down her face. She struggles to get me to release her, but it just makes me hold on to her harder.

  “There are shelters. I’m sure they will know who to contact to help you.”

  She shakes her head no. “I can’t go to one of those places. I can’t take Sophie there.”

  “I’m sure there is someone you can contact to help you.”

  “There is no one. We have nowhere else to go.”

  “Isabel, please. I’m begging you, don’t go back to him.” I’m imploring her again when a thought occurs to me. “If you don’t have anyone you can stay with and you refuse to go to a shelter, then you can stay with me. I have more than enough room for you both. Plus, I work a lot and I’m not there very much.”

  She knows nothing about me other than the little bit of information that I gave her outside the grocery store. I understand why she is reluctant, but I need to tell her.

  “The first time I remember my father beating my mother was when I was six years old. I wanted hotdogs for dinner, but my mom wouldn’t make them. I threw a huge tantrum and threw my plate on the floor. My dad came in and smacked my mother across the face for not making me hotdogs like I asked.” Isabel gasps in surprise. “I tried to apologize for making the mess, but my father said my mother needed to learn her place. That it was her job to serve men and do whatever it was we wanted. He continued to beat her and make me watch so I could learn the proper way to discipline my woman when I got older.”

  I reach over and grip both her hands in mine. “Now do you understand? I was never able to protect my mother, but I can protect you and Sophie if you’ll let me. Please, will you let me?”

  I hold my breath, waiting for her to answer. I can see the gears turning in her head as she weighs all her options before answering me reluctantly.

  “Okay,” Isabel whispers.

  I let out the breath I was holding. I can’t even imagine how difficult that decision must have been. The fear of not knowing if she is making the best decision for herself and her daughter, or more importantly, I could be a complete psycho — she doesn’t have a clue. I’m just relieved I can stop worrying and keep an eye on the two of them. Just knowing they are safe and away from the abuse, even if it’s only for a little while, is good enough — for now. “Thank you,” I respond.

  “I should get back to Sophie.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  ADAM

  Once Sophie’s arm is a casted and she’s discharged, Isabel and I let her know they aren’t going back home.

  “Sophie,” Isabel begins, “we’re going to Dr. Patterson’s house. He wants to make you a yummy dinner for being such a brave girl.”

  Sophie’s a smart little girl, she doesn’t believe her mother for a minute.

  “Hey, Sophie, do you like ice cream?” I give Isabel a wink because I have an idea, kneeling in front of Sophie I wait patiently for her response.

  “I like ice cream, why?” I chuckle. Nothing gets past this one, Isabel is in trouble when she gets older.

  “I need to go to the store before we head to my house. I was hoping you would help me pick an ice cream flavor.”

  “Ice cream? For after dinner?”

  “Yes, but you have to be good and listen to Mommy,” I respond. I feel like I’m negotiating with a terrorist. As long as Sophie feels comfortable, I see it as a win.

  I look over at Isabel and see her attempting to stifle a laugh. When I turn back to Sophie, she seems deep in thought.

  “How about ice cream and a movie?”

  “Ms. Sophie, you have a deal.” I reach my hand out and we shake, closing the deal.

  All three of us load into my truck with bright smiles. As soon as we hit the freeway entrance heading back toward base, Isabel begins to panic.

  “What if he sees us! We go to Target near base all the time. He’ll know what I did and take her from me.”

  “Mommy, it otay. We be otay.” Sophie attempts to reassure her mother buckled into the borrowed car seat in the back.

  “Baby, we’ll never be okay. He always finds us. We belong to him,” she whispers as she turns to me with panic in her eyes, “please just take us back. We can pretend this never happened. Maybe he won’t beat me badly this time for defying him.”

  Rage courses through my body, I grip the steering will. “You. Will. Never. Go. Back. There.” I growl through clenched teeth, Isabel immediately shrinks into the corner of the passenger seat. Realizing I need to calm down and ease her concerns, I pull over to the side of the road. Once I have the truck in park, I turn the overhead light on, both of them stare at me with frightened eyes,

  “I’m sorry for scaring you. My anger gets the better of me when I think of everything he has done and could continue to do to both of you if you ever go back there.” I reach out my hand toward Isabel, palm up, in hope that she realizes I mean no harm. “We aren’t going anywhere near the base. I live in Poulsbo, which although close to base, I find most people don’t venture out that far if there is no need. We can go to the Walmart there.”

  Isabel looks between the seats at Sophie, “If you are still afraid, I can take you to my house and you can make a list of things you will need. I can get them for you from the store or we can even call the woman’s shelter I told you about before. They have emergency kits available for the first forty-eight hours we can make use of.”

  Looking between the two of them, I can almost hear the silent communication going on between them — it’s a conversation I had with my mother many times over. Sophie willing her mother to accept the help I am willing to provide and Isabel looking at her daughter, wondering if she is just putting her in more danger from her abusive father. I sigh before starting the truck again and pulling into on coming traffic, “I will take you anywhere you want to go, accept back to the hospital and into the arms of your abuser. You are finally free — both of you. I’ll do everything in my power to ensure you stay that way.”

  * * *

  Going shopping with a four-year-old is an experience. Everything is interesting, Sophie seems to say whatever pops into her head, and it’s both entertaining and exhausting.

  “Ooohhhh, Mommy! I want to feel all the pillows!” Sophie chirps as we pass the decorative pillows on our way to grab some clothes for her.

  “Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Can I see the toys? Please?” she begs as we pass the toy aisle after grabbing toiletries for both ladies, and clothes for Isabel.

  Through the entire trip, Isabel keeps her cool and calmly tells Sophie “no,” even when she pouts. The pouty lip pulls at my heartstrings, so I take pity on her, she’s had a long day.

  “Hey, Sophie, why don’t you help me pick an ice cream flavor? What’s your favorite?” I ask her.

  Her entire face lights up like it’s Christmas morning. She starts to answer but looks at Isabel first, when she nods that it’s okay, Sophie lets out a little squeal of excitement.

  “I can really pick the ice cream?” She looks at me like I’ll take it back, but I would never do that.

  “Yup, you get to
pick,” I tell her.

  “Chocolate!” she shouts.

  Her answer makes me laugh, even though Isabel is telling her to calm down and not be so loud in the store.

  “Alright, Sophie. Let’s go pick some chocolate ice cream.” Turning to Isabel, I inquire, “Mind if I push her?”

  Surprised at the offer, Isabel stammers, “Oh… um… okay.”

  Stepping up to the cart, I start to jog then jump onto the bottom bar of the cart. It’s been a long time since I took a joy ride on a shopping cart, but Sophie’s squeal of laughter makes up for the dirty looks I get. I can’t control my laughter as I get the cart under control and wait for Isabel to catch up to us.

  “That was fun!” Sophie exclaims. “Can we do it again?”

  Before I get a chance, Isabel responds for me, “No, Sophie. That’s enough excitement for one night.”

  She tries to look stern, but she’s hiding a smile as well. We make our way to the ice cream cooler and I tell Sophie to pick whatever one she wants.

  “I want the chocolate one,” she tells me.

  “Just plain old chocolate? No marshmallows or peanut butter or caramel?” I question. I can’t believe she wants plain chocolate.

  “Nope. Just chocolate,” she specifies, putting her hands on her hips. “What’s wrong with just chocolate?”

  Putting my hands in the air in surrender, I respond by saying, “Just checking, sweet pea.”

  We gather the items we need and head to the registers. Sophie insists on loading the conveyer belt herself. This girl is amazing. She is smart, spunky, and has a mind of her own. I think I’m falling in love with her already.

  I pay for our items, with protest from Isabel, and head out to the truck. We get Sophie in her brand new seat and the bags inside when Isabel turns to me, a somber expression on her face.

  She looks up at me with tears in her eyes, “Thank you.” She is so sincere that I’m not sure what to say.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask, concerned over her tears.

  “I can’t believe any of this is happening to us. You’ve been so patient with me. No matter how many times I pushed you away and promised we were fine, you were still kind and helped us in any way that you could.”

  “It was the least that I could do,” I turn to hide my embarrassment.

  “I don’t think you understand Dr. Patterson,”

  I interrupter before she can continue, “Please call me Adam.”

  “Adam,” a light blush covers her cheeks, “most people see us and know what is going on and choose to ignore it or they try to help but I refuse. The ones I refuse never come back, but you were different. No matter how many times, you kept coming back. It feels as if I’m in a dream, and will wake up any moment still living that horrible nightmare. Thank you, I’ll find some way to repay your kindness,” she says, wiping a tear from her cheek.

  “Thank you for letting my little girl feel like a little girl. You made her laugh and smile.” More tears fall onto her face, “I can’t remember the last time she laughed like she did tonight. Maybe she never has.”

  My hands are on her shoulders when she lets out a sob. Carefully, I wrap her in my arms, pull her to my chest, and offer any comfort I can. At this moment, I promise myself that I’ll do anything and everything possible to protect them.

  She wraps her arms around my waist and holds on tight, pressing her cheek against my chest, I’m sure she can feel my heartbeat. I drop my head and kiss her hair.

  “You don’t need to thank me, I’m happy to do it. And if I’m being honest with myself, I’m starting to fall in love with your little girl.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  ISABEL

  Hearing Sophie squeal in the shopping cart tonight made me realize just how sad her life has been. It proved to me that I can’t ever go back to Jason. She deserves a better life than what we have had. Even if I have to get a job and we live in a crappy little apartment, it’ll be better than being under Jason’s roof again.

  This is all thanks to Adam. I wouldn’t be here, away from Jason, if it wasn’t for him. He told me tonight that he’s falling in love with Sophie. He’s only spent a few hours with her and yet he loves her. It both surprises me and scares me to death. On one hand, I don’t see how anyone couldn’t love her. She’s sweet and funny, her smile lights up the room and her giggles make my heart sing but what will that mean for Sophie and I? What kind of pain comes with Adam’s love? Jason has never once said he loves her and that got her a broken arm.

  Adam hugged me when I cried. Hugged me. He didn’t get angry and tell me to shut up. He simply wiped my tears and comforted me. Only a good man would do that, right?

  Jason was sweet and loving when we first met. We used to take long walks on the beach, hold hands, and sneak kisses when no one was looking. I can’t pinpoint when it happened, but one day he just got so angry he hit me. At first, I thought it was my fault, so I apologized. He said he would never do it again, but then he did. Again and again, he would hit me and tell me how worthless I am, it didn’t matter what I did after a while.

  Then I was blessed with my little miracle, Sophie, but it didn’t stop. I had another person to protect. I got the beatings twice as bad because I had to take hers as well, but I took them because I knew she was safe. That was until tonight.

  My thoughts keep spinning as I lay in the dark with Sophie sleeping peacefully next to me. Now that we are with Adam, maybe I can sleep and know my baby won’t go hungry. She may even be able to laugh and play like a normal child should. I have to find a way to repay him for everything he’s done for us. I don’t want to live indebted to someone else. I just hope that I am not making the same mistake twice by placing my trust in another man.

  With my mind made up, I slide out of bed, drop my night shirt and panties on the foot of bed, and grab the terry cloth robe Adam is letting me borrow, then head to Adam’s room. I’m nervous, my hands trembling, but I have to do this. I have to show him that I’m willing to do what I have to in order to protect my daughter. Sex has never been particularly pleasurable for me but Jason seemed to enjoy it. I have nothing else to offer him so free access to my body will have to be enough.

  Lifting my hand to the door, I knock softly, hoping I’m not waking him.

  “Come in,” comes from inside so I open the door and step inside, closing the door behind me.

  “I… umm… wanted to… umm… say thank you for letting us come here,” I stammer, my nervousness making itself known.

  “Of course, I’m just glad you let me help.”

  Taking a deep breath, I wrap the robe tighter around me and slowly make my way toward him on the bed. I’m scared to look at him, that once I see his handsome face, I’ll chicken out.

  “Isabel, look at me, please?”

  My head snaps up, the trembling in my body increases when I see that he’s only wearing a pair of pajama pants. The longer he looks at me, the more concerned he appears.

  I finally make it to the bed and stop when my shins hit the frame and his knees brush my hips. Before I lose the courage, I untie the sash so the robe opens some.

  “Isabel, what’s going on? What are you doing?” he asks with his eyes glued to the strip of skin that’s exposed.

  “I-I-I wanted to thank you,” I stutter, hating myself for that show of weakness.

  “This isn’t necessary. You’re beautiful, but this isn’t necessary. I’m happy you let me help.” He closes his eyes and shakes his head before looking me in the eye.

  “But I do. Have to, I mean,” my hands twisting. “You’ve been so nice to us, I have to repay you somehow,” I mumble.

  “No, you don’t,” he says with conviction, his hands coming up to cup my cheeks.

  Resting my hands on his knees, I awkwardly glide them up his thighs.

  “It’s the only thing I have to give you,” I whisper.

  Adam drops his hands from my face to my hands, stopping me from continuing up his thighs. While he’s distracted, I lea
n into to kiss him. I’m clumsy and unsure of what to do since I’m never the one to instigate, but the second my lips touch his, an electric shock shoots through me. I’m stunned when he cups my face again and angles my head, deepening the kiss. The tip of his tongue runs along my bottom lip, surprising a gasp from me. Taking it as an invitation, his tongue slips past my lips, tempting mine to dance with it.

  With a groan of his own, he stands and wraps his arms around me, bringing me flush against his chest. It’s been a very long time since I’ve felt arousal but it’s currently overwhelming my brain. My arms wrap around his waist and cling to his back, goosebumps erupting under my fingers. The warmth of his skin against mine is intoxicating and terrifying. For once, it feels so good to have a man’s hands on me but how long before I hate him for it? Jason never held me like this, like I mattered.

  Pressed together, chest to chest, I can feel how aroused he is. I’m enjoying his lips on mine, his arms holding me, but I just want the sex part over with. I don’t know what kind of participation he expects from me, Jason always wanted me to just lay there. Will Adam want more?

  Adam’s lips leave mine and his forehead leans on mine. His breathing is harsh and his eyes are squeezed tightly closed, almost like he’s in pain. I’m about to ask him what’s wrong when he speaks.

  “Isabel, please go back to bed.”

  Embarrassment floods my face and I take a step back, grabbing for the edges of my robe to cover myself. Tears gather in my eyes, I don’t know what to do. I don’t have anything else and my body apparently isn’t good enough.

  Turning to leave the room, he catches my elbow but I refuse to turn back around.

  “Wait! It’s not what you think. You are a beautiful woman, but you’ve been through a lot. I won’t take your body as some misplaced form of payment for helping you. My help comes at no cost to you and Sophie. If at some point in the future, you want to explore a relationship with me, I am more than happy to explore that but I won’t have you come to me out of obligation,” I sigh. “You have been through more than most people will deal with in their entire lives, you need to figure out who you are without someone dictating your life to you.”