Save Me

by Alexander, AJ

  I have no idea what she’s making, but it smells incredible. I know one thing for sure, if I have to watch her bend down into the oven one more time, dinner is not the only thing I’m going to be dreaming of tonight. I need a distraction, looking over at the empty table, I have the best idea. “Sophie, you want to help me set the table?”

  “Can I Mommy?” Sophie comes skidding into the kitchen, pushing up her sleeves as she enters.

  “Be careful, we don’t want to break anything else while we’re staying here,” Isabel warns sternly.

  “Isabel, honestly, it was just a glass. No harm, no foul,” I assure her. “Sophie, can you please get some silverware from the drawer? Leave the knives, I’ll get those.”

  I turn to reach into the cupboard to grab the plates before I feel a tug on my pant leg. After I grab the plates, I look down to see Sophie.

  “What’s up, Sweet Pea?”

  She looks up at me with tears in her eyes. “I don’t know what silverware is.”

  I pick her up and squeeze her. “It’s alright. Here, let me show you.”

  We walk a few steps down the counter to the silverware drawer, and I pull it open and point to the contents inside.

  “Sophie, those are silverware.”

  She looks at me skeptically, with both her hands on her hips.

  “Misser Adam, those are forks and spoons! If you wanted me to get those why didn’t you say so?”

  “My apologies, Ms. Sophie. It won’t happen again. Now, let’s go set the table before we’re both in trouble with your Mommy,” I respond with a chuckle.

  Sophie and I set the table just in time for Isabel to bring in dinner. I can get used to family dinners around the table every night. Ever since these two came into my life, my house doesn’t feel so empty, and I am not so lonely.

  As we finish up dinner, Sophie and I volunteer to clear the table and do dishes so that Isabel can relax for a little while. After a lot of protesting, she finally relents. As I’m finishing up with the dishes, I realize I’m not ready to part with these two just yet.

  “Isabel, since it’s still early can we watch a movie before bed?” I request.

  “Please, Mommy? Please?” Sophie begs her mother.

  I don’t know how she does it, but Isabel manages to keep a straight face when she answers Sophie.

  “One short movie Sophie Grace. Now run upstairs and get ready for bed. I will give you a bath in the morning.”

  “Thank you, Mommy! Thank you, Misser Adam!” Sophie cries before running over to hug her mother. I’m shocked when she runs over to me and gives me a huge hug around my legs.

  “That was really nice of you to suggest, Dr. Patterson,” Isabel whispers.

  “When did I become Dr. Patterson again? My name is Adam, Isabel,” I say firmly.

  I watch her shrink away from me, preparing to be struck.

  “I’m sorry. I would never hurt you, either of you. I would die first,” I plead as I grab both of her hands in mine.

  “I know, Dr. Pat… I mean Adam. It’s going to take some time for me to get used to it. All either of us has known is pain and anger from a man. So, it’s what we expect when something is not done in a specific fashion.”

  “What can I do? I will do anything, anything at all,” I beg her.

  She moves in closer and gently wraps her arms around my waist.

  “Just give us time.”

  I pull her body closer to mine and give it a gentle squeeze.

  “You can have all the time in the world, as long as the two of you spend it with me.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  ISABEL

  My fight or flight response is still in full force after Adam startled me by touching me. I didn’t realize he was home yet and dinner wasn’t finished. I expected him to be angry and lash out, but he wasn’t.

  It boggles my mind that just a few weeks ago my life was filled with nothing but fear. I’m still scared, but it’s a different kind of fear. Jason is still out there somewhere. He’s still searching for us and he won’t stop until he finds us. Adam assures me that I can trust him, but after all the years of Jason beating me for the littlest things, the fear response is still there. Adam says he wants to take care of us, but for how long?

  I wish I was able to be normal. I want Sophie to grow up in a house where she can be a little girl, and not be afraid to make a simple mistake. It’s clear Adam loves children, I’m not sure how it happened in such a short amount of time, but I wonder, can he learn to love me? I’m so broken and bruised, am I even lovable?

  He makes me nervous but in a good way. I feel safe when we are together. I want to know his touch after only a few brushes of his hands against me. Maybe if I allow him to touch me, for us to be intimate, it will be better than I can imagine. Maybe it’s time to let him…

  From my seat on the couch, I watch Adam head up the stairs and hear his door close. Now is as a good a time as any to test the water with him. I have to move now before I lose my nerve. I check on Sophie and find her sleeping. Building up my confidence, I head next door to Adam’s bedroom door.

  I blow out a deep breath and knock while opening the door and stepping inside. With the door closed behind me, I strip off my leggings, leaving me in only a baggy shirt and panties.

  Adam sounds pained when he asks, “What can I do for you?”

  My eyes are on the floor, staring at my feet. “I want you to touch me,” my voice is a soft murmur.

  “I’m sorry Isabel, but I need you to speak louder.”

  “I want you to touch me,” I confess, looking into his eyes for the first time in weeks. “I want to know what it’s like to feel pleasure,” I whisper, scared he’ll turn me away again.

  “I can help you with that,” he smiles, walking toward me and stretching out his hand for me to take. I don’t hesitate in placing my hand in his and the smile he gives me will always be saved in my heart. Giving my arm a little tug, we move farther into the room until the backs of my legs are against the bed.

  Adam moves his body closer to mine, touching me but not pushing against me and leans down to kiss me, stopping just short. He’s letting me participate, allowing me to decide what I want, instead of taking what he wants.

  Lifting my head to close the last few centimeters between us, my lips meet his. The kiss is soft but heart stopping. I don’t want it to ever end but when he shifts, takes the kiss deeper and slides his arms around me? It’s more than I’ve ever imagined it could be. This is the kind of kiss that can save lives. The kind you read about in romance novels. It’s sweet but passionate, a melding of not only lips, but hearts.

  A shudder leaves me as I surrender to him; trusting him completely with my body and maybe even my heart. His hands move slowly up to shoulders then down the curve of my butt, gentle but constant pressure that is both reassuring and enticing.

  With a slight push on my hip, I sit on the edge of the bed; Adam’s lips never leaving my skin as he explores my jaw, neck, and ear. Goosebumps cover my body, my body tingling and trembling when he follows me back to lie down.

  “You okay?” Adam breathes against my ear.

  “Yes,” I answer, sliding my hands up his chest to wrap behind his neck and pull his lips back to mine.

  Leaning on one elbow, he moves to settle his hips between my thighs, watching me closely incase I panic. It means the world to me that he’s being so careful. I finally feel like I’ve put trust into the right man. I can see myself falling in love with him and that idea is both exhilarating and terrifying.

  His free hand runs down my side to my bare leg then back up under the shirt that I borrowed from him. There’s something about wearing a man’s shirt that makes a woman feel sexier.

  “Adam,” I whimper when his fingertips trail up my side to my ribs and the side of my breast.

  “Yes?” he responds, softly rubbing the side of my breast before his hand moves south yet again.

  “I’m trying not to be, but I’m scared,” I admit softly,
my cheeks heating with embarrassment.

  “I know you are, but I’m proud of you for being brave enough to get this far. Do you want me to stop?” he asks, his hand stilling on the flesh of my hip.

  With a small smile, I shake my head no; our eyes locked when his fingers brush my center. “No,” I whisper confidently. I somehow know that he needs to acrually hear the verbal confirmation from me.

  “That’s my girl,” he says with a wink, my breathing sounding more like a groaning pant.

  My eyes close and my back arches as the sensations wash over me. So much pleasure racks my body, I don’t know what to do with it. His fingers are slow and methodical in their exploration, finding all the hidden spots that I didn’t know existed.

  Adam kisses the center of my chest between my breasts, through my shirt, then my stomach, my hip bones. When I feel his breath against my lower lips, panic sets in and my thighs clench closed, trapping his head.

  “Isabel,” his eyes are watching me while I struggle to separate what I’ve always known with what I’m currently experiencing. “Isabel, look at me.”

  My heart is pounding, fear has chilled my skin, and tears begin filling my eyes but I open them to look at him.

  “What are you thinking? What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?” He’s talking to me like it’s a normal day, not like his head is in the vice grip of my thighs.

  I drop my head back to the bed, tears running to my hair.

  I’m being stupid.

  Who has a panic attack during foreplay?

  I can’t do this, I’m not ready.

  “Isabel,” Adam’s hands are on my thighs, under his face. “Relax, I won’t touch you until you’re ready.”

  Forcing the words past the lump in my throat. “I can’t...”

  Adam’s hands apply pressure to my thighs, forcing them open just enough to pull his head out. The second he’s gone, I curl up into a ball on my side and cry. I’m weak. I’ll never be able to be normal, have a normal adult relationship. Sobs are racking my body when Adam pulls me into his arms, my face in the crook of his neck.

  “It’s alright,” he coos, rubbing my back.

  Shame has me pushing him away, getting off the bed. “Good night, Dr. Patterson,” I tell him as I slip my shirt on.

  “Wait, Isabel, please.” I don’t stop to listen.

  Returning to the room I share with Sophie, I close the door and lean against it.

  Chapter Nineteen

  ADAM

  Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

  I try to catch her before she arrives at her bedroom door, but she’s inside with the door locked before I can reach her. She is lucky Sophie is in there or I’d be banging on it like a lunatic.

  “Isabel, please. Everything will be alright.” I beg through the door.

  I can hear her sobbing quietly, so I lean my head on the door as I continue to speak.

  “Isabel, I’ve never wanted anyone more than I want you right this very moment. You’re beautiful, inside, and out, but I don’t want to hurt you. I want everything to be perfect, for you to have no regrets or fear when we are together. I will wait until the end of time for you to feel safe enough to give yourself to me, he took that from you. It should be something that you give freely to the person that you love. I can wait, even if it takes forever.”

  As the words come out of my mouth, I can feel them down to my bones. I love this beaten and broken woman with all my heart. What started out as just a way to save an abused woman and her little girl has turned into more than I ever dreamed of.

  The door flies open, I barely have time to brace myself on the doorframe to stop from falling in. Once I regain my balance, I look up to see Isabel standing in the doorway, eyes ablaze with emotions. She has never been more beautiful, skin splotchy from crying. I reach out to place my hand on her cheek, she attempts to take a step away, but I follow her.

  “Isabel, what’s wrong?” I ask confused.

  “What’s wrong? I will tell you what’s wrong. I came to you, to share part of myself with you because I care about you, but I can’t seem to get Jason out of my head. Can’t you see I’m broken?” Her voice begins to break, as she crumbles to the floor before my eyes. Unable to resist, I fall to the floor with her. “I’ll never be able to show you how much you are beginning to mean to me. What kind of woman can’t express her feelings for a man through intimacy?” Sobs wrack her body as she clings to my body.

  “You. Are. Not. Broken. Do you understand me? You are one of the strongest women I know, after my own mother.” I pull away from her, so I can see her face. Her down casted eyes are too much for me to bear, I gently lift her chin, “This is a natural response, it will take time before you will be able to be intimate with another male. You have nothing but time to figure all of this out, whether it be with me or someone else.”

  Isabel whispers, “What if I’m never ready?”

  “Then we will never be together in that way. Isabel, I wasn’t lying when I said I’d always be here for you and Sophie. You both mean the world to me, whether we are intimate together or not.” I place a gentle kiss on her forehead, breathing in her scent and committing it to memory. “There are many other ways to show someone you care. Cooking, cleaning, and cuddling on the couch.”

  Isabel smiles, “I do all of that already, accept the cuddling.”

  “I’m not against adding cuddling into our daily routine.” Isabel gives a watery laugh, “My point is, that there are plenty of way to show affection to one another without involving sex.” I smile, trying to keep three words from slipping between my lips. I love her and Sophie, but if I tell her that right now it will do nothing but scare her.

  Isabel needs time, time to heal and time to understand that no matter what I’m not going anywhere. We sit on the floor in silence for I’m not sure how long before her tears stop and she looks up at me with a smile, “Thank you for understanding, Adam.”

  “Anything for you, Isabel.” I stand and then reach my hand down to help her stand. I pull her into me, wrapping me arms around her.

  “Adam, I need to get to Sophie and get some sleep. The sun rises quickly,” she giggles, which is quickly becoming one of my favorite sounds in the world.

  “Only because it’s for Sophie or I would stand here with you all night.” Taking my chances, I raise my hand out and tilt her chin upward. Leaning down, I place a gently kiss on her lips. “Goodnight, love.” Shock covers her face, but disappears as quickly as it appeared.

  “Goodnight, Adam.” I unwillingly release her from my arms, watching as she slides back into her room and gently closes the door.

  * * *

  I wake to a feeling of pressure on my chest I can’t place. As I slowly open my eyes, I’m met with Sophie’s bright green ones. Her chin resting on her hand with her broken arm resting beside my head, as she lies on my chest just watching me.

  “Good morning, Sweet Pea.”

  “Good morning!” she chirps.

  This little girl has become the center of my universe, along with her mother.

  “What can I do for you this morning? Does your Mommy know where you are?” I ask her.

  “Mommy is still sleeping. I don’t get to see you anymore and I miss you,” she pouts.

  That face! I swear every child perfects that face at birth. You know, the face that can get them whatever they want, when they want? That’s the way Sophie is looking at me right now, and it breaks my heart.

  “I’ve missed you too, Soph. But I have to make sure the other boys and girls are okay. I help make their owies go away,” I remind her as I snuggle her into my chest.

  “I know, but…” She trails off.

  I gently lift her chin, “What is it, Sweet Pea? You can tell me whatever is bothering you,”

  “When you aren’t here, I’m scared that something will happen to me and Mommy. What will happen if Daddy comes back? You have to be here to protect us,” she says quietly. Tears trickle down her tiny face. I hate him for what he
’s done to them. A four-year-old girl’s biggest worry should be what Disney Princess she wants to be for Halloween, not whether her dad is going to come back and hurt her or her mother.

  I tighten my hold on her and sit up so my back is resting against my headboard, “Sweet Pea, nothing will happen to you or your mommy. I’ll always be here to protect you. No matter what. I love you, Sophie.”

  She leans back, looking up at me in shock.

  “You do? Really? You love me, Mr. Adam?”

  “Of course, I do! What’s not to love? You’re the most beautiful little girl in the world. I’m lucky to know both you and your mommy,” I reassure her.

  She launches herself onto my chest, wrapping her arms around my neck in a tight squeeze.

  “I love you too, Mr. Adam, so much!”

  Chapter Twenty

  SOPHIE

  For the first time ever, I wake up not afraid. Mommy thinks I don’t notice, but Daddy is mean. He doesn’t love Mommy and me, not the way my friend’s Daddies do. Their Daddies pick them up from school, give them lots of hugs and kisses, and they always slobber all over their mommies when they think no one is looking. Not my daddy, he only yells at us. He hits me and hurts me. I know he hurts Mommy too. She only cries when he is around.

  I wish Mr. Adam was my daddy instead. He’s always nice and gives me hugs. He said he loves me, maybe he loves Mommy too. I wish Mommy loved him too, then we can stay here forever. If I ask Mr. Adam, maybe he’ll want to be my daddy. If he’s my daddy, then Mommy will love him, and we can stay here forever! If I’m really good and listen, then he will want to be my daddy, I am sure of it.

  I just need to ask Mr. Adam to be my daddy. He gave me snuggles this morning, even though I surprise him in the bed. He smells different than Mommy, where Mommy smells like cookies, Mr. Adam smells like… I don’t really know, but I like it!