Witches in Wonderland

by J. D. Winters

  Hmm. I had a feeling that she really meant, if Gran Ana found out she was done for. But why? “What show is it?”

  “It’s so dumb. It’s called, ‘Meet the Ghost Hiding in Your Closet’. It’s supposedly sort of a cross between a documentary and a reality show about ghosts. They want to show the world about our ghosts. And you know what will happen to me if the Council finds out about that.”

  I knew only too well. The State Council abhorred anything that drew that sort of attention to the haven towns—and so did Gran Ana. Rennie’s ads presenting what could be seen as make-believe ghosts and scares was one thing. A documentary claiming real ghosts was another.

  A TV show would not be good. I was pretty sure Rennie was already on thin ice with her ghost renting plans. She was on plenty of Council committees and seemed to have her chubby little fingers in just about every pot that bubbled.

  She was the one—along with my grandmother—who’d started the trend toward “Cute Architecture with a Theme”, and the theme they chose was Alice In Wonderland. Half of the stores in town were made to look like little English cottages with ponds and bridges and statues of Cheshire cats and Mad Hatters. It made for adorable ads--all click bait for the tourist crowd.

  And she was the Moonhaven coordinator of tourism. Rennie being Rennie, she was also always at the extreme edge of the envelope. Having Chuck—her husband—as mayor had helped her out of a few scrapes recently, but she seemed wary of tempting fate again so soon.

  “Sorry, Ren,” I said, combing my half-dry hair out. “You know I can’t do that. It’s against the rules. I’m hanging by a thread as far as the Council goes as it is. If you will remember, I wasn’t too popular after that vampire incident.” I bit my lip, watching her begin to look more and more tragic. “Have you tried doing a spell or two yourself?”

  She nodded. “You know I’m sort of weak in the spell department at the best of times, and right now, I’m not getting anywhere. But I did try. And I even tried talking to them. They weren’t having any of it. They want to stay.” She sighed sadly. “Could you just come take a look? Maybe once you see those people in your old family home, you’ll think of something we can do.”

  “Rennie, I just can’t risk it.” I thought for a minute. “Have you tried getting my grandmother to chase them off?”

  “No! Oh no! Don’t tell Gran Ana. I have to get rid of them before she finds out.” She wrung her hands tragically. “She’ll probably fire me from everything. And then Chuck will know I’m incompetent and he’ll probably divorce me. And then…”

  “No one is going to fire you or divorce you,” I said, promising something we both knew I couldn’t deliver on. “I’ll stand by you, but I won’t cast a spell. Shane would lock me up if he knew I was using my magic for something like that.”

  Shane was the Deputy Sheriff with the mostest as far as I was concerned. It was rumored that we’d dated back in the day when I was young. I could certainly see why.

  But Rennie was despondent and drooping. “Then at least come to the meeting tonight. It’s at Bentley’s place. Sheriff Hayes called it. You see, the TV people complained that I was harassing them…”

  “Were you?”

  She scrunched up her nose. “Only a little bit. But they bugged the Sheriff to the point where he said the community should have a say and Bentley can give legal advice to all concerned. There are people against me and they want to discuss what I’ve been doing and I’m afraid they’re going to try to cancel my whole project. Maybe you could help.”

  I looked at her. There was something endearing about the woman, despite what a pain in the neck she usually was. I gave her a small smile. “Sure. Why not? Listen, I’ve got a few things I’ve got to do around here. Why don’t I meet you over there? What time is the meeting?”

  She brightened and told me, then left smiling, bouncing down the stairs like an energetic teenager. I hoped we would be able to cobble together some sort of solution to her problem, but I didn’t see how right off.

  Meanwhile, I wanted to see what Krissy was up to with this hiring business. I dressed in cropped jeans and a velour hoodie and went down to see what was happening.

  “Hey,” I said, noting the empty display case in the café area. “Looks like business is good.”

  “Yes, business is great,” Krissy said with a smile. “I tried a new style of chocolate chip cookies and they sold out in an hour.” She gestured toward the flour she was in the midst of measuring out. “I’m making another batch now.”

  “That’s what I like to hear,” I said, leaning on the counter. Looking out through the screen door, I could see her adorable little boy, Gavin, outside playing in the sand box. He had my little dog Toto with him, but someone else was out there too--a slender slip of a girl with short hair, pixie style, tipped with red dye. “So is that why you hired someone new?” I asked, a bit puzzled that she would have done that without talking to me first.

  “What?” She looked at where I was watching. “Oh, no! I did hire her, but not for the bakery. I just need someone to watch Gavin for me, at least a couple of hours a day. He’s been wandering lately and if I want to concentrate on the baking, I need someone to concentrate on him. He’s been scaring me.”

  “Oh.” That was a relief. It wasn’t that I was against her hiring anyone, I just wanted it to go through the proper channels first, and I told her that. She agreed readily and I realized she was smart enough to know this already.

  “Her name is Mandy Vega. I think she’s going to help a lot.”

  Feeling better about the whole thing, I walked over to the screen door and looked out at Mandy, watching her interact with Gavin.

  She turned unexpectedly and her gaze met mine. Something in her eyes was electric. It sent a shock through me, as though we’d hit a recognition from another time, another place. She looked away quickly and turned, saying something to Gavin that made him laugh. I turned back to Krissy and wondered what she’d done. Something told me there would be consequences to hiring this Mandy Vega person. She was here for a reason—I could sense it.

  Chapter 3

  Bentley St. Ames was my good friend and my favorite vampire. He was also a respected attorney and I was pretty sure if anyone could think of something that might help Rennie’s situation, it would be Bentley. I decided to walk over, taking the sidewalk that led to his house but avoiding the dark and gloomy park in the center of town. I’d had a few too many weird things happen to me in that park. I tried to stay out of it if I could.

  Even going to Bentley’s involved heading through a small stand of trees just this side of his house, but I took that shortcut all the time and it had never done anything scary yet. I headed through, and as I went, I began to realize I was going to step out right in the middle of a pretty robust argument taking place at the end of Bentley’s driveway.

  I came out a little gingerly, hoping to avoid the two men I saw standing there. No such luck. They both turned and stared at me as I emerged from the trees. The one closest to me was tall and slender and dressed in a well-cut suit, but wearing his shirt open much too low, showing off a hint of furry chest with a gold chain ostentatiously dangling over it. His original look of distrust shifted quickly into a smile that looked as slick and surface as his shoeshine. He was handsome, but in a practiced way that had the odd effect of repelling me somehow.

  The other man was a contrast in style and shape. Thicker, stronger and shorter, he wore his hair a little too shaggy and his chin a little unshaven. Instead of a suit, he had on jeans and a leather jacket hanging open to reveal nothing but a rather thin white t-shirt underneath. Still, I had to say he was attractive in his own, rough way.

  “Hello there,” the first man said smoothly.

  I gave them both a cheerful smile. “Hi,” I said, then gestured toward the house. “Are you going into Bentley’s for the meeting?”

  “What’s it to ya’?” the shorter man said aggressively, his face a genuine display of ill-humor and annoyance. I
t was pretty obvious my instincts had been right. I’d come into the middle of an argument—and this was the man who was losing it.

  The taller man intervened quickly. “You’ll have to excuse my partner,” he said. “He’s in a remarkably bad mood today. Just ignore him.”

  “As you wish,” I murmured, turning toward the house. Whoever these two were, they weren’t people I’d have chosen to talk to if I didn’t have to.

  But before I got away, the tall guy said, “Listen, are you a local? Are you here to talk about the issue with the rental?”

  I blinked. I guess I was. “Yes,” I said. “Are you visitors?”

  “We are indeed.” He smiled, trying to look endearing. “In fact, I believe we’re the ones this meeting is about. I’m Kenny Sands and this is my partner, Derek Travis. And I just want to say, we’d truly appreciate it if you would consider voting in our favor. If it comes down to a vote or anything like that.”

  I stared at him. These had to be the filmmakers then. The people in my house. I had to stop myself from shuddering and my face just wouldn’t smile anymore.

  “Uh…here’s the deal,” Kenny Sands said, stepping forward to make it difficult for me to pass unless he decided to let me. “You see, Derek and I produce a television series. Maybe you’ve heard of it? ‘Meet the Ghost in Your Closet.’” He smiled, then looked annoyed when I didn’t smile back. “It’s sort of a play on words, don’t you see? Everyone has a ghost living in their closet, and we’re gonna let that ghost come out into the open. You see what I mean?”

  I shrugged. “Sure. But even if they come out, how do you get ghosts on film?”

  “No problem,” the man he’d called Derek said somewhat sarcastically. “We make it up as we go along. We’re good. And if the real ghosts don’t come out, we develop ways to make it look like they did anyway. We’re covered.”

  Wonderful. So even if Rennie managed to talk her ghosts into staying hidden, people watching the show would think otherwise. And so would the Council. And they definitely wouldn’t like it. Yikes. Rennie really was in trouble, wasn’t she?

  “So here’s our problem,” Kenny continued. “The crazy redhead who rented to us wants to renege on the deal now that she knows why we wanted the place. She’s trying to tell us we’re illegal or something. She’s tried every trick in the book.”

  Derek laughed suddenly. “She even tried painting red dots on her face with a Sharpie and pretending she’d come down with some new strain of super-measles and the house was highly contagious.”

  I had to hide a grin at that one.

  “But we won’t go,” Kenny said. “This is the perfect site for us. Our spiritual consultant says the place is brimming with real, live ghosts. We can’t give up now. So we asked the local lawyer, this Bentley fellow, to call a meeting and see what kind of case we had for staying.”

  “And getting that Rennie lady to go home and leave us alone,” added Derek.

  “I see.” And I did see—an opening to get past Kenny. I took it and slipped on through the gap between him and a lamp post. “Well, good luck to you,” I said as I started off toward the house.

  “Tell your friends, okay? Let everyone know we’re serious film makers. Okay?”

  “Uh…we’ll see,” I muttered and hurried on, glancing back in time to see the smirk melt right off his face. He swore as he turned back to his partner, and their argument started right up again.

  “You’re going to pay for this, Kenny. And you know I have ways to make that promise come true.”

  “Oh shut up. You’re such a baby.”

  “If you think I’m going to stick around to watch you and Clarissa play kissy-face in front of me….”

  Their voices faded away as I made my way through the maze in front of Bentley’s house and office combination—another homage to Wonderland. I was great at it by now, a regular maze champ, but I noticed he’d opened up the back door of the place for those who didn’t think they could make it through the tall bushes.

  Once I got inside, I found that his lobby was full of people, with chairs set up in rows. I waved at a friend or two, my gaze combing the room for a glimpse of Shane. Was he going to be here? It seemed a logical assumption. Not only was he a Deputy Sheriff, and therefore a representative of local government, but from what Rennie had told me, he was also acting as ghost issues coordinator for the haven.

  And there he was, looking straight and tall and strong in his Deputy Sheriff’s uniform. In other words, a complete hunk. I liked to think of him as my hunk. But did he think that way? That hadn’t become clear as yet.

  And yes, there he was, his handsome face smiling…smiling, but not at me. Who was the dark-eyed beauty standing beside him that he was so obviously flirting with? My heart gave a little flip and I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. But I turned away, telling myself not to be silly, and hunted down an empty seat near the back. Just before I sat, Bentley stopped by to brush my cheek with a welcoming kiss and whisper, “Save me a seat, okay?” Then he was gone toward the front of the room. I smiled, feeling warm and toasty now that I’d found someone who liked me. At least the vampire was glad to see me.

  I sat, plopping my purse down on the seat beside mine. Then I looked over at where Shane was still talking and laughing with that unknown female. I bit my lip and looked away. Rennie joined me in a flash and took the seat on the other side.

  “They’re here,” she whispered at me, her eyes wide.

  “Who?” I asked a little abruptly. Yes, I was annoyed that Shane was flirting with someone other than me. Grow up, I thought to myself before I was able to give Rennie my full attention. “Who’s here?”

  “The people who rented your house. The film makers.” She nodded in a side-ways direction and I looked over, trying to be sneaky about it. Just as I thought, she was pointing at the same men I had talked to on my way in.

  “Kenny Sands,” she whispered hoarsely. “He’s the co-host of the show. The biggest pain in the neck, if you know what I mean. He’s done nothing but antagonize me from the start. I really do want him out—but I want to do it without getting my entire project cancelled. And over there is Clarissa Woo,” she added, nodding toward the Asian beauty Shane seemed to be entranced with. “She’s a special psychic consultant to the show. Some kind of ghost expert. A real phony if you ask me.”

  “Phony,” I echoed, nodding, unable to contain my stupid jealousy. “Yes, I can see that.”

  Rennie gave a little hiccup of laughter and I looked at her sharply, wondering if she was laughing at me. But no. Rennie didn’t do that. She was a true friend. Suddenly I was overcome with affection for my pal.

  “And there’s Rosy, my Ghost Keeper gal.” She nodded toward a slight young woman in thick glasses and long brown hair, looking earnestly around and jotting notes into her notebook. To me she looked like your average grad student, and I assumed that was probably exactly who she was—a grad student….and a Ghost Keeper.

  Did those two things go together? Hmm.

  Rennie had turned to talk to someone sitting on her right, and at the same time, somebody slid into the seat to my left and I turned to stop him. To my surprise, it was one of the TV hosts of the show, the shorter, darker one. I thought I remembered that his name was Derek.

  “Is this seat taken?” he asked, looking me over in a way that should have been offensive and made me wonder why he was trying to goad me. At least his bad mood seemed to have lifted. I saw nothing but humor flashing in his eyes.

  “Yes, it is.”

  He raised one dark eyebrow. “Are you saving it for someone?”

  “Yes, I am.”

  He grinned. “Okay. I’ll help you.”

  My mouth opened but no intelligible words came out. “You’ll….?”

  “Let’s face it. You need help in the saving seats department. You let me slip right in here and claim it without a word.” He winked at me. “I can help you. No one’s going to get it away from me. I’ll defend it to the death.”


  I tried to glare at him but I had to admit, the way his dark eyes seemed to shine with silent laughter made me want to smile along with him instead.

  “Really,” I said. “Is that your death or mine?”

  The last four words seemed to echo and reverberate and for just a moment, I thought I was about to keel over. I grabbed the sides of my chair and hung on. The feeling was gone quickly and Derek was rising from his chair, bending over me.

  “Hey, you okay?”

  “I’m…I’m fine. I just need to….”

  “Look, I’m sorry. I was just kidding.” He was backing away. “I didn’t mean to crowd you. I’ll get out of here. See you later, okay?”

  I nodded. I wasn’t sure why that had happened. The concept of death might have had something to do with it. That was pretty much a touchy one for me. I drew breath deep into my lungs and closed my eyes. But I was okay.

  Meanwhile, Bentley was opening the meeting and welcoming us all. I tried to focus on him as he introduced Kenny Sands, who immediately began a smooth and practiced presentation to the crowd. He was working hard at convincing everyone that he and his partner were dealing with earth-shaking things. Evidently, it would be a crime against humanity to cut them off at the knees by banning them from the Haunted House, as they were calling it. It was all so important.

  “Yeah, that’s what they all say,” Bentley muttered as he took the empty seat to my left.

  “So you don’t buy it?”

  He gave me a baleful look. I grinned and looked back at the speaker. Kenny was suggesting that he and his crew were bent on creating a special episode to their series in documentary style that would rival the great “Grapes of Wrath” in it’s authenticity.

  “But ‘Grapes of Wrath’ wasn’t a documentary,” Rennie pointed out, coming half way out of her seat to make her triumphant point.