The Good Guys Chronicles Box Set 2

by Eric Ugland

  Stepping back into the main area of my bedroom, I realized two things: one, having some more furniture would be useful in situations such as this. Two, having a sitting room would be useful in situations such as this. Eliza had seated herself on the bed, sitting on it with as little of her body as possible. I chose to lean against the wall opposite her, nearer the fireplace, which popped and crackled. One of the things I had never really thought of, in terms of wood and the usage thereof, was water. Trees were incredibly wet when freshly cut down, and one of the chief jobs of a hydromancer in and around Osterstadt was properly drying trees. Mercy had taken that gig along with her other jobs, and, thus, even though these trees were freshly cut, they were dry as could be, and were not only excellent for using as lumber, but also as firewood.

  All of this went though my head instead of trying to address why Eliza Northwoods was in my room well past midnight.

  “So,” I said, “nice night.”

  “Is it?” She asked. “I thought there was violence and mayhem?”

  “That was earlier. I’m hoping this little chat here doesn’t devolve into violence and mayhem. But, then again, that’s not exactly up to me is it?”

  “I apologize. I fear I am not going to make your night better.”

  “Fifty-fifty chance, I guess.”

  She looked a bit confused, but only for a second. Whatever other reason she had for visiting me took over, and she took a deep breath.

  “Would you say you are a man of honor?” She suddenly barked out, as if she’d been fighting saying the sentence.

  I blinked a few times, stalling, trying to process what an appropriate answer for her might be.

  “I think?” I replied. “The longer answer would probably be more along the lines of me saying that it is something I’d hope for. I want to be honorable, but I’m still learning what that means. I haven’t always been in the past.”

  “Though you were quick to say you were no brigand.”

  I thought back to the day we’d met, me in the river and scantily clad, her on the bank with her clod of a brother looking down on me. How the times hadn’t changed.

  “I’m not,” I said. “I may have done plenty of other immoral deeds, but I’ve never stolen.”

  “As an Imperial Duke, have you been a man of honor?”

  “Given that rather short time frame, yeah. I’m fully confident I have.”

  “Then I must throw myself upon your mercy and ask that you act as a man of honor.”

  “Did someone get you pregnant?”

  “What?”

  “Someone touch you inappropriately?”

  “My lord—”

  “Rape?”

  “No, my lord, none of those things. Your soldiers and your followers have always treated me far better than I can say I deserve.”

  “Oh,” I said, with dawning realization, “it’s something you did.”

  She looked down at her feet, then nodded.

  “I fear I have not been honest with you, your grace,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

  “Because you were sent here as a spy for your dad?”

  “Well, yes, but—”

  “That you were here to sabotage us when you could?”

  “Is that what you think I would do?”

  “The idea has been floated. Have you?”

  “No.”

  “Then my apologies.”

  She shook her head. “You should not. I have looked for an opportunity, but it has been so busy here, and anything I did might cause actual harm to you or yours.”

  “I appreciate your restraint,” I said, doing my best to hide my rising anger.

  “The thing is, your grace, there have been — I am not sure the best way to put this — there have been some changes in the world.”

  “You think?”

  “You are right to be glib, but I am doing my best to explain the situation as a whole. And you do not have full knowledge of what is going on in the rest of the Empire.”

  “What am I missing?”

  “More than I have time to explain tonight.”

  “If time is so pressing, maybe you should eschew the obfuscation and just get to the fucking point!”

  She blinked, a bit taken aback. Maybe I had been yelling a little.

  “Sorry I yelled,” I said, significantly softer this time.

  “You are right, though,” she replied, almost demure. “My family has not been the kindest towards you. My father had designs on this land, and he believed you took it from him. He sent me here to spy on you, to do what I could to ease these lands back into his control. But you were not what I expected. Nor what he expected. And now I must ask your—”

  “Out with it, Lady Northwoods. You came here to ask me to do something, so ask. Now.”

  “I am not used to speaking so bluntly, but I need your help to free my father.”

  That got my attention.

  “Excuse me?” I asked. “Could you, uh, clarify that?”

  “My father is being held hostage, and he will be killed upon the morrow if I do not open the gates at dawn and provide access to the troops outside.”

  “North or South?”

  “South, your grace. The Empire side.”

  “That fucking snake.”

  “Many underestimated him,” she said. “But it is at their peril. Even so, he is not a man I thought was capable of such ruthlessness.”

  “Valamir, who killed his own brother?”

  “I was speaking of Caticorix, you thought I meant Valamir? And You believe the men with Caticorix to be Valamir’s?”

  “Yeah, wait,” I paused, realizing that I hadn’t even suspected it might be someone other than Valamir. “Who are they with?”

  “I cannot say for certain, other than they are not with Valamir.”

  “How do you know this?”

  “My father is friends with Valamir.”

  “Valamir doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to pay much attention to things like friends.”

  “He pays attention to business partners. Especially partners who are able to bankroll privatizing legions.”

  “And this isn’t one of those private legions?”

  “This might be a private army, but it isn’t one of Valamir’s. He certainly would not do what has been done.”

  “Which is?”

  “I have told you that my father is held hostage, yes?”

  “You have.”

  “They have also told me that my brother will be the new head of the Northwoods household.”

  “Wait, I thought that was supposed to be you.”

  “That was my father’s intention, yes. And he spoke the truth about my brother, my brother was the one who arranged for you to be taken to the prison. That was not my father’s doing. And my brother was sent back home—”

  “Did he hurt your uncles?”

  “Not that I know of, though now I am forced to wonder if he has done something stupid like that. My uncles do not have titles, not like my father. So my brother would not need to do anything to them in order to take over the family.”

  “But he can’t just take the family over, can he?”

  “Not unless my father and I both die.”

  “So you think these guys plan to kill you anyway, so you’re throwing yourself on my mercy because you betraying me nets you nothing now.”

  “I know you have little reason to trust me—”

  “Or no reason.”

  “Perhaps that is true. But I swear I would never betray you. And certainly not in this way. If you refuse me, I will not open the gates. Unless you save us, my family is doomed. Please, save my father.”

  You have been offered a quest Eliza Northwoods:

  Farther and Father

  Rescue Lord Northwoods and return him to safety.

  Reward for success: XP, Unknown

  Penalty for failure (or refusal): Unknown

  Yes/No

  There were a lot of things I wanted to say
in that moment, not many of them nice. I wasn’t sure what do, though. She’d come to me and been open and honest, and she’d asked for help for her family. Hadn’t that been, more or less, what the ursus had done? Hadn’t I said something to the effect of letting goblins come and ask me for help and I’d give it to them? Sure, there weren’t exactly children involved in this example, but family was family.

  She stared at me, her big eyes somehow extra-large on that night, and glistening as she held back tears. Which, I knew she was probably doing just to play on my emotions. The sad thing was, it was working.

  “Fine,” I finally said, accepting the quest. “Do you know where your father is?”

  “No,” she said, getting to her feet and brushing nonexistent tears from her blue eyes, “but I would imagine he must be close. Caticorix has to know he will need to produce my father to get me to open the gate.”

  “Somewhere in their camp, then?”

  “Likely.”

  “You’re going to need to give something to me that will tell your father you’re safe and for him to come with me.”

  “Of course. Me.”

  “No. Un-uh. Not happening.”

  “I am more capable than you know.”

  “You may be, but I don’t believe you’re capable of sneaking around and killing people. You also just came in here saying you’ve been a spy and saboteur the whole damn time you’ve been living here. I’m not about to show you one of our secret exits, nor am I going to let you mosey about an enemy camp with me.”

  “It hurts that you would think I might spoil your attempt to save my father. However—”

  “In that context, it would be me going out there to save your father when he didn’t need saving. That’s me wondering if this is an attempt to deliver me to Caticorix, and that your father is in on the gambit.”

  “I would never do such a thing.”

  “Fine, but I’m not taking that chance, Eliza. And I don’t want to seem rude, but I’m not exactly sure what I’m getting out of this deal beyond just being nice.”

  She looked down at her hands, and took a deep breath, like she was resolving herself. “What is it you wish, your grace?” she barely whispered.

  “Whoa, I’m not going to ask you for anything inappropriate — that’s not what I’m after.”

  “Then what are you after?”

  “I don’t know how to play this court shit. I don’t like it. I don’t want to do it. I never have. But, here I am, stuck into the middle of court crap. I need allies, allies I can trust.”

  “You want the Northwoods to be your allies.”

  “Yes.”

  “Or your followers?”

  “I mean, I think I’d probably prefer the latter. That way, if you succeed, I succeed.”

  “That requires your support of Valamir.”

  “Hmm, that’s a bit of a problem there.”

  “Forgive me, but I see little at issue with—”

  “The dude’s nuts.”

  “He is not! He is merely—”

  “He killed his brother.”

  “There is little proof of that.”

  “The fact that you have to say that as an argument is a pretty big sign something ain’t right.”

  “I cannot make promises for what my father might do, but I swear, should you save him, I will do my utmost to be more than just allies. And I swear that from now on, I will put the needs of Coggeshall as equal to the needs of Northwoods.”

  “I suppose that’s the most I can ask for. At the moment at least.”

  “It is the extent of what I am able to give,” she replied.

  “Well then. I guess I’m off to save your dad.”

  Chapter 153

  My first impulse was to go wake up Nikolai and talk to him about the whole saving Lord Northwoods thing. But Nikolai had a particular dislike, and distrust, of the Northwoods. And, you know, after the chat I’d had with Eliza, I didn’t exactly blame him. They weren’t on the level, they’d definitely been spying on us, and Eliza said that she’d been looking for ways to sabotage us. Why was I helping her again?

  Right. I was trying to be a good guy.

  I got a bunch of prinkies into my room and had them help me get my armor on. They were helpful, but I still wanted a Prinky Armor Stand. Which likely needed a more impressive name. But I was ready.

  I took a few steps and realized a rather glaring issue. Moving in armor was loud. Like, disturbingly loud. I jumped, lunged, made all the sorts of moves I thought I might use to sneak about a camp. Sneaking was not a possibility.

  Which meant letting the prinkies swarm over me to pull all the armor off.

  Maybe I could summon a shit ton prinkies and have them hang all over me. They were pretty quiet, and they’d be decent armor. Any time one got cut, I could just summon another one. Cruel, sure, and also likely ineffective, given their complete lack of hit points. I’d end up quite sparkly though, so, you know, had that going for me.

  I put on a single layer of clothes, then some chainmail, and then a big black cloak over the rest. I’d sent the prinkies to go find me a cloak, and I didn’t bother to ask where they’d retrieved it from. Very soon there’d be someone in Coggeshall wondering where their big black cloak went. But well, I needed it. I was pulling ducal privilege.

  Being really fucking late, Coggeshall was devoid of people. Everyone was doing the smart thing: sleeping. But as I walked down the last set of stairs, I bumped into the cleric Meikeljan. Literally. He went sprawling across the ground after running into my knee. The dude was really short. But clean, this time.

  “My lord,” he said, scurrying up to his feet so he could bow.

  “No need for that,” I said, trying to help him up. He smacked my hands away.

  “I am not worthy of your time, my lord,” he said.

  “Knock that shit off! You’re totally worthy of my time.”

  We stood there awkwardly for a moment. I think he wanted to say something to me, but I also think he was waiting for me to say something to him. I didn’t really know what to say, so we just stood there in an unpleasant limbo.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  “Yes, my lord.”

  “Is there something you want to talk to me about?”

  “Yes, my lord.”

  “Which is?”

  “I, uh, I understand if you wish for me to leave your service.”

  “Why would you do that?”

  “I have failed you.”

  “What? How?”

  “The corrupted one—”

  “Pshaw, you didn’t fail. We all failed. And it’s not even technically failure. We’re up against something pretty serious. Who knows? Maybe there is no cure.”

  “A man died, my lord—”

  “Many men died, and some women. But the thing is, others lived. If you give up now, you’re giving up on all the ones who are still alive, still trying to make it in this world. Those people are trying to make this little town a better place than all the rest of the shit holes out there. That’s why this place is going to get hit harder by bad guys than anywhere else. Because this is going to be a nice fucking place to live. And nothing pisses assholes off more than nice things they can’t have.”

  The little dude stood there a moment, staring down at his tiny boots. There was such disparity between the sizes of ‘civilized’ creatures here. The stairs in Coggeshall were made for the average human, but that meant they were huge for this guy. They were nearly half his body. For a minotaur, on the other hand, the stairs would be short. Annoyingly so. I’d seen Darius get caught up on the stairs before, tripping because the rise wasn’t where his body thought it would be. And even though I’d never seen one, people in Vuldranni had mentioned Centaurs many times. How the fuck would a half-horse person go up a flight of stairs? There were so many questions rocketing through my mind, I barely registered Meikeljan coughing, trying to get my attention.

  “Sorry,” I said. “My mind wandered.”

 
“If you will allow me,” he said, “I will stay. I will continue to serve you, my lord.”

  “Of course. You’re a part of this place now. Gotta stay with the family.”

  I had to stop myself from clapping him on the shoulder, partly because that would require me getting down on a knee, and I’d probably knock half his hit points off if I wasn’t careful.

  “Thank you for your mercy and generosity,” he said with another bow of his head.

  “Dude, what was the lord like at the last place you lived?”

  “The count who claimed my monastery as part of his domain was a very generous lord, who—”

  “You’re not fooling anyone. Look, man, you need to relax around me. I’m not trying to, I don’t know, live like the other lords of the land. I’m here to make a good place to live, okay?”

  “I hear you, my lord.”

  “Okay,” I said, “now, uh, I guess you should try and, uh, well—”

  “Might I make a suggestion, my lord?”

  “Yes. Please.”

  “Given the nature of the corruption, and how I believe it might be spreading—”

  “Blood or bodily fluids?”

  “That is my hypothesis, my lord. Given that, I fear the food stores and our shared kitchen presents the greater threat to a mass infection.”

  “Shit, that’s a scary thought. So you’d like to bless everything in there?”

  “I would ask Eona to bless it, but I believe that is what you meant.”

  “Bingo.”

  “With your permission...”

  Again, we stood there like nincompoops for a moment until I realized he was waiting for me to actually give him permission.

  “Yeah,” I said, “do that.”

  He nodded, and then scampered off.

  I shook my head, and wondered, once again, at the bizarre world I’d found myself in. And then I headed towards the escape tunnel.

  Chapter 154

  Perhaps because of the interaction I’d had with Meikeljan, I didn’t make it. Instead, I came across a group of armed and armored Thingmen marching down a hallway. Their leader saw me. He called a halt, and the group of twenty men and women stopped.