by B. B. Reid
I STARED INDIFFERENTLY AT MY reflection in the gold-framed vanity mirror while my mom wrapped sections of my hair around a curling wand. When I was younger, she’d pull most of it back and secure it with a white ribbon so that my face could be seen. It was the same hairstyle she had forced me to wear every day. “You’re a beautiful girl,” she would say. “You shouldn’t hide behind your hair.”
My mom didn’t get that it was because I was pretty that I hid. Girls who looked like me were rarely taken seriously. No one ever expects pretty girls to get their hands dirty or chip a nail… I liked doing all of those things.
“You do know you can talk to me, don’t you, dear?”
No, I didn’t know that. In fact, I knew better. It had been five days since I had dinner at Lou and Wren’s, and somehow, I’d become more hollow than I was before. Deep down, I knew it was because I’d had a glimpse of what could have been.
“Is something the matter?” I hedged. We both knew this wasn’t about me, anyway. My parents were only concerned about themselves.
“Your father and I were wondering if everything is okay between you and Ever?”
“Of course,” I lied. “Why do you ask?” It was all I could do to hide the truth. I was worried. While my engagement to Ever was a farce, I wasn’t so sure our friendship would survive. I never asked for any of this, but like a coward, I’d accepted too much from him, and not for the first time, I questioned if I should have let him get involved at all. Faking a relationship had been his idea, but it was my choice to go along with it. I should have run when I had the chance, but I’d been afraid. Terrified that I’d never see Jamie again. There was no way I could ever return to Blackwood Keep if I left.
Once I left.
“He seems… distracted.”
Translation: my parents were afraid that Ever was losing interest in me.
I was eager for the day they’d realize we’d been playing them all along, even though I knew I wouldn’t be around to see it. Or would I? I could feel Ever pulling away and feared that soon, I’d be on my own.
“Barbette, you’re slouching.”
This was one time I didn’t mind my mother criticizing my form. Squaring my shoulders, I lifted my chin. I guess I was okay with being alone, after all. Ever had Four, and Vaughn had Tyra, and though it didn’t bode well for me, I couldn’t help but feel lighter knowing that I’d be leaving them in good hands. It was everything a girl could hope for her best friends.
And Jamie… well, he’d never had trouble finding someone to comfort him.
“I’m sure he’s just nervous about starting school in the fall.”
Ever had chosen to attend Cornell. They had one of the best architecture programs in the country, but Ever didn’t seem all that excited. Something told me it had to do with the four-hour distance it would put between him and Four.
From what I had heard, since Ever could never seem to talk about anything other than Four, she planned to race professionally, which would have her on the road often.
“He’ll also be marrying you,” my mother naively reminded. “Your wedding should be his priority, as well.”
“It is.”
“He hasn’t helped with the planning.”
“Did Dad help plan your wedding?”
“Don’t talk back, young lady.”
I could barely keep from rolling my eyes. “I’m not. I’m just wondering, I guess.”
After a brief pause, my mother let out one of those dainty chuckles that were totally fake. “No, I suppose not.” She resumed curling my hair, but I knew the inquisition was far from over. “I thought you’d be more excited about marrying the man of your dreams.”
My eyes shot up to meet my mom’s in the mirror. Was she serious? I wasn’t in love with Ever, and she knew it even if my father didn’t. My mother had been the one to advise me that love was an illusion, and if I were smart, I’d find someone I at least liked before my father chose a husband for me.
I turned around in my chair, and my mother stepped back with her hand clutching her neck at the look in my eyes. “We both know he’s not the man of my dreams, Mother, but he’s rich. Rich enough to dig us out of the hole Father dug us into. You should be thanking me rather than complaining. Pretty soon, you’ll both be at my mercy, which means I can speak to you however I like.”
Her palm cracked across my face, and the pain was almost blinding.
Touching my cheek, I felt shock ripple through me as I met my mother’s sorrowful gaze. I could tell she was torn between begging my forgiveness and standing firm. This was the first time she’d ever hit me, leaving the dirty work to my father.
“Don’t feel bad,” I coolly implored as my hand fell to my lap. “It’s the first feeling I’ve had in years.”
She looked ready to apologize anyway before her lips flattened. “This is nonsense,” she scolded. “The reporter will be here any minute. Meet us on the patio and try not to be late.”
She fled my room, probably from shame, and it only took a few minutes for me to build the courage to follow. Even then, I could still feel the unease curling in my stomach. I had the feeling something was about to go horribly wrong.
Downstairs, my father introduced me to Grace Harrell, the reporter for the Blackwood Tribune. Somehow, my father had convinced them my engagement to Ever was important enough to grace their front page. In my opinion, it spoke volumes about our sleepy town and what passed for newsworthy around here. Sure, the McNamaras were loaded, but wealth was the leading demographic in our town. Two trust-fund babies getting hitched wasn’t news. It was strategic.
“So your father was telling me that your fiancé is a childhood friend of yours,” Grace said, speaking loud and clear for the recorder. “When did you know that he’d be the one to steal your heart?”
My lips parted, and the reporter, along with my parents, waited for me to pour my heart out. To captivate them with the story of how I’d fallen for the very first time. “It happened on a Ferris wheel,” I began, tasting the bittersweet remnants of a half-truth.
I hadn’t known then that Jamie had stolen my heart.
Not until he’d already broken it.
He’d been the one to teach me love and, tragically, the first to show me pain.
Half an hour later, I was done with the interview. I’d told them all about our two summers together, all the while feeling guilt creeping up my skin. Any moment now, Ever would arrive, and I wasn’t sure how I could face him in the wake of all the lies I’d just told. I thought the hard part would be over now, but for some reason, the bad feeling remained. Pulling out my phone, I sent Ever a text.
Where are you?
I didn’t get a response, but a couple of minutes later, I exhaled when Ever stepped onto the terrace. Although he looked like he was being led to the slaughter, I was relieved to see him. He hadn’t shown last time, and I found out it was because his father kicked him out for sleeping with Four. Of course, I hadn’t told my father that.
Father was the first to greet Ever, shaking his hand. “So glad you deigned to join us.”
Seeing the need to intervene, I stood from my chair and reached for the pitcher of lemonade. “Father, have some lemonade.” I poured him a glass before shoving it in his hand.
“Thank you.” His tone was still cold, but remembering our other guest, my father finally offered Ever a seat. It wasn’t wise to air our dirty laundry with a reporter present. “Ever, I want you to meet Grace Harrell. She’s a reporter at the Blackwood Tribune.”
My hands shook underneath the table as I watched Ever struggle to maintain his composure. That mask he always wore now had a crack in it, and it was only about to get bigger.
“Grace, this is Ever McNamara. My daughter’s betrothed.”
I wanted to laugh because my dad sounded like he’d time-traveled from a different century. I knew firsthand that the way he spoke was in line with his beliefs. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be trying to marry me off for personal gain.
&nbs
p; “I think it’s so romantic how the two of you played together as kids, and now you’re getting married.”
“It’s just marvelous!” my mother chimed in. Ever and I said nothing. “And although it was my dream to see my daughter have a June wedding, with prom in a few days and her birthday and graduation soon after, I think a September wedding once all the leaves turn would be just as beautiful.”
As much as I hated to agree with my mother on anything, a summer wedding was a dream I’d once shared with her.
“It sounds like the perfect ending to a fairy tale,” Grace gushed. “I think our readers will want to hear every detail from start to finish.” She started flipping through her notes, and I noticed Ever’s frown as he stared at the already filled pages. “I think I have everything I need except for the photo.” I wanted to crawl under the table when she pulled out a camera. My parents hadn’t said anything about a photo. They’d expect to capture a loving couple, not two people who were in love with two others. “You two not only have an interesting story but you also make a beautiful couple.” The excitement in her voice only fueled my dread. “Do you have a background in mind?”
Always the gracious host, my mother immediately answered. “Oh, yes! Follow me!”
She escorted us inside the parlor, and I noticed that some paintings and expensive trinkets had been added to the décor, making the room look less barren than it had before. I rolled my eyes. If my parents had cared less what other people thought, we wouldn’t be in this mess.
The look in Ever’s eyes when he pulled me close for the first pose said that I’d betrayed him. I didn’t know about the photoshoot, and I was desperate to tell him so.
But would it really have changed anything if you had known? You’re selfish and a coward.
“Beautiful!” Grace said after two hours of snapping our photo. “Now, I’d like to get a shot of you kissing your beautiful bride-to-be.”
It was then that it occurred to me that we had never kissed. Not even once. In fact, we’d been careful not to touch each other too intimately. Even now, Ever’s hand was positioned several inches above my lower back.
“Don’t you think you have enough?” Ever snapped. His composure was slowly unraveling. I could see little beads of sweat pooling near his hairline.
“I know this can be a little tiring, but I think it will be eye-catching on our front page.”
There was a pause, a moment of utter silence that weighed heavily over the room as my parents and Grace waited, expectantly, for us to kiss. It was what fiancés do, after all, and shouldn’t have been a problem for two people in love.
“It’s okay, son. Lay it on her,” my father encouraged. He was smiling, but I could tell he was nervous and more than a little suspicious of our hesitation. He wasn’t the only one I realized when I caught Grace watching us skeptically over her camera.
I felt the first of my tears fall when Ever’s hand slid from the middle of my back to my waist. I couldn’t let him do this. Four would never understand, and why should she?
Which meant… I was screwed.
I pleaded to my best friend with my eyes to stop, go, run now, but instead, he gripped me tighter, pulling me into him. I knew I wouldn’t stop him because I was weak and afraid. My father had used his fists and belt and feet to make sure of that many times. Sometimes, he’d even refuse me food for a few days to show me what starving would feel like when the money ran out.
Ever’s eyes drifted closed as he prepared to kiss me. Captivated by the turmoil twisting his features, my own remained open. I knew he’d probably convinced himself that the kiss would be meaningless, and maybe to us, it would have been, but not to Four… and not to Jamie. My hands lifted, prepared to push him away when he startled me by stumbling back all on his own.
My eyes widened, and relief flooded through me as I watched him take a step back and then another.
“I’m sorry,” was all he said before he fled.
I wasn’t.
It had been three days since I’d seen or talked to Ever, three days since he practically ran away from me, my parents, and this screwed-up arrangement. I knew it was over.
Ever had broken off our fake engagement.
Relief and doom blended together. I didn’t know what to feel. My parents had been alarmed by his abrupt departure—my mother, most of all. My father had only stared me down with his cold, blue eyes before ordering me to fix it. Whatever the hell that meant. I wouldn’t be fixing shit. Four and Ever were meant to be, and I refused to get in the way of that anymore.
My hand shook as I applied black liquid eyeliner, so it took me three attempts before I drew a line straight enough to pass inspection. I’d caked on more makeup than usual, hoping it would bring me confidence to face the day—or at the very least a sturdy shield.
My foundation and concealer were blended perfectly. My features contoured and highlighted to the gods. I’d even spent extra time on my eyebrows, which I hated doing. When I was done, I signed the look with a matte black lipstick that made me look cold and cruel. Mother wouldn’t approve, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. She wasn’t the one being led into a den of wolves today.
After making sure my hair and makeup were perfect, I sighed, no longer able to stall. I put on my uniform and grabbed my school bag before tiptoeing downstairs. I wasn’t allowed to leave home without presenting myself to my parents first, but since their wrath wouldn’t be the worst thing I’d face today, I slipped from the house undetected and quickly hopped inside the waiting Escalade.
“Morning, Joe.”
“Good morning, miss.” He didn’t waste time driving away, and even though my heart was beating pretty hard for what was to come, I exhaled as I settled against the seat. On autopilot, I pulled my phone from my bag, and my racing heart skipped a beat seeing the message waiting me. The daily texts that started a mere week after our fates collided once more had become a ritual, and even though I never responded, I looked forward to them each morning. Today, despite all that could go wrong was no different.
Jamie: What do Jameson Buchanan and Barbette Montgomery have in common?
I frowned as not for the first time my fingers had itched to respond. Having learned my lesson the last time, I decided to toy with him, I tossed my phone in my bag and forced Jamie out of my mind. I didn’t have time for riddles.
It was possible that I was being paranoid. Maybe nothing at all would happen today. And maybe my entire world would come crashing down.
The ride to Brynwood was short, and as I made my way to my locker, I tried to ignore the fact that everyone was reading the newspaper. The front page, to be exact. I gritted my teeth. Despite how wrong that interview had gone, Grace held no reservations about publishing the story anyway.
A few girls had even stopped me with hearts and stars in their eyes to tell me how lucky I was and that I should never let my Prince Charming go.
Too late.
Maybe I was a damn fool, but I wasn’t about to spend the rest of my life hoping to turn back time. Jamie wasn’t the same anymore, and neither was I. We might have been right for each other then, but now we were poisonous to mix.
After getting what I needed from my locker, I kept my gaze straight ahead and ignored the ones following me. Seriously, what was the big deal? It wasn’t as if Ever and I were celebrities. People married every day. My irritation mounted, reaching its peak when I reached a crowd forming near the entrance.
“Extra! Extra! Read all about it!”
Someone shifted just in time for me to see the douchebag, who was yelling and handing out newspapers, shove one in Tyra’s hands.
Suddenly, I was choking on a huge ball of regret.
If Four read that paper, I knew what she would think, but I didn’t know how she would react. The picture was bad enough, but the story I’d spun behind it would only make it worse. She’d think we’d deceived her. That there was more to us than we’d let on. I started forward, wanting to get to her, to explain, but I stopp
ed short seeing a tall, familiar figure push through the crowd. The anguish on Ever’s face as he tried to reach her nearly sent me collapsing to the floor. What had I done?
The second Ever reached Four, he snatched the paper from her hand and brought her to his chest. Jaws dropped, and the gasps and whispers drowned out what he said to her. It didn’t matter. I’d seen enough, and so had everyone else. I inched closer, wanting to help but knowing that my presence would only make things worse.
Four shoved Ever away before turning to say something to Tyra, who nodded and started for the door. Whatever the truth, Four wasn’t sticking around to hear it. Ever grabbed her hand when she started after Tyra.
“Four, please listen. It’s not what—”
“No!” The look she gave him, full of disdain and not the love I’d seen pass between them before, confirmed it. I’d ruined everything. “I’m done listening.”
Shock made Ever release Four’s hand, and she bolted out the door, leaving him behind. If he noticed the whispers and the stares, he didn’t care. He watched her go for a few seconds before turning. The moment his red-rimmed eyes fell on me, he stopped—his jaw clenching.
“I’m sorry.” And I was. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, but it didn’t mean shit because it did happen.
Ever’s nostrils flared as he looked away. I held my breath, waiting for him to rip me a new one, but he didn’t. He stormed away, and even though I wanted to follow, like Ever, I was forced to watch him go.
The hall was silent, and for a moment, I thought I was alone until someone began clapping slow. Spinning around, I found the crowd watching me, some with sympathetic gazes and others with mocking sneers. I hated them both. Searching the sea of faces, I found Jamie at the edge, leaning against the trophy case. Clapping.
“Congratulations,” he said the moment our gazes met. “That’s two more people you ruined.” He stood up to his full height before swaggering over. I felt about an inch high by the time he reached me. “Nothing to say?”
