Crossing the Line

by Naomi Aoki

  “And?”

  “And what?” Ken scowled at Brian. “Fine. He spoke to me. Threatened you and Jamie. He’s determined to kill you, both of you.”

  “Figured that. He’s already tried once in case you’ve forgotten.”

  “Oh, I haven’t forgotten.” Fury burned in Brian’s eyes, and Kennosuke stood there watching him kick his boots off and unfasten his vest. “Worse day of my fucking life.”

  “What do you mean by that?”

  “Exactly what it means, Ken.”

  Brian shuffled past him, disappearing into the living area to a chorus of raucous greetings, leaving a stunned Kennosuke behind. He shook his head, heart thumping in his chest and driving the urge to kick everyone else out of the house so he could talk to Brian. Didn’t need an audience while he found out what Brian meant by that statement. Was it one he could believe in?

  How long until he turns cold again?

  “HOPE JOHNS GOT PLENTY in the bail kitty... tonight isn’t going to come cheap.” Brian grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat on the couch next to his father. The irony wasn’t lost on him, sitting here still in uniform surrounded by patched members his colleagues in blue would love to shove behind bars.

  Glancing at the doorway, he didn’t miss the confused expression Kennosuke still wore as he walked in. Listened to him open the fridge, the rattle of bottles as Kennosuke grabbed out a beer and the soft fall of his footsteps as he moved back to where they were all seated. A string of Japanese curses soon punctuated the air as Kennosuke realised there was nowhere for him to sit, Brian having taken his seat.

  “Sit here.” he patted his lap and grinned.

  “Fuck off. I’ll sit on the floor.” Bottles clanging as Kennosuke pushed them out of the way with his foot.

  “Don’t be stupid-” he grabbed a hold of Kennosuke and pulled him onto his lap. “-I’m more comfortable than the floor. But if you really want to sit down there...” The innuendo clear as everyone chuckled. Kennosuke blushed with irritation and maybe something a little more but made no move to get off.

  Brian tightened his grip on Kennosuke, tugging him closer as Takeshi’s words went through his mind on an endless loop. “There is nothing you can do to save them.” He wouldn’t let any harm come to Kennosuke at the hands of that man again.

  “You saw Takeshi?” Jamie leaned forward, the teasing intoxicated atmosphere sobering up fast.

  “Spoke to him. He knows who I am... what I am, and not just that I’m Jamie’s cop friend. He’s been watching the house and knows you are in New Zealand and why.”

  “Fuck.” Jamie’s head dropped forward, hands clenched tight. “That’s what I was afraid of.” He raised his head and shared a worried glance with Kennosuke, no doubt trying to work out what they told Gou back in Japan.

  “The man wants you both dead.”

  “Not like the feeling isn’t mutual. We should run, Ken and I, head back to Japan and hope we can lure Takeshi back there. At least then the odds would be stacked in our favour and not his. Except we can’t stop what we are doing here.”

  “We’ve only got another week here to tough out, Jamie,” Kennosuke said. “But we aren’t armed. If we remain then we need the ability to defend ourselves... access to weapons-”

  Brian tipped his head back and laughed, interrupting Kennosuke and Jamie’s argument on whether to stay or not. “Remind me to show you my toys later, Ken.”

  He laughed even harder as Kennosuke’s face went the brightest shade of red he’d ever seen it blush and gripped him tighter as Kennosuke tried to wriggle off his lap. “They won’t help at all... and why would I want-” Kennosuke spluttered.

  “Oh, I can show you those ones too... but I have a few weapons hidden here that none of my colleagues know about.”

  “Brian,” Jamie growled.” You could have told us this sooner.”

  “Why? Up until now there was no sign that these visits would include run ins with ex-yakuza hell bent on revenge.”

  There had been no reason to risk handing over unregistered weapons to either of them. Hell, he was still reluctant to hand over weapons because if they fell into the wrong hands it could ruin everything for Brian. But he couldn’t shadow Kennosuke’s every move while he was in New Zealand and Brian needed to know Kennosuke was safe. He closed his eyes, steeling himself against the onslaught of emotion running rampant through him. Brian had tried to resist seeing the truth of what Kennosuke meant to him. Ran from it and pushed the man away from regardless of how much it had hurt them both. Takeshi’s appearance, the threats he laid down had forced Brian’s hand, breaking the wall, he’d erected. He couldn’t deny it any longer and Brian just hoped he hadn’t left it too late to tell Kennosuke.

  Hoped that Kennosuke would believe him.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Kennosuke couldn’t take it any longer. Sitting on Brian’s lap felt way too much like they were lovers and Brian didn’t see him that way. Or at least that’s what Kennosuke had thought until two days ago; until they’d shared that kiss earlier. Brian’s statement about his being stabbed only added to his confusion. Something was changing between them. Emotions shifting with the way Brian’s arm wrapped around his waist. The possessiveness of it, tugging him closer with every mention of Takeshi’s name as though Brian was afraid of what might happen if he let Kennosuke go.

  And that was why Kennosuke needed to leave. He didn’t want to be around when this hot-running Brian turned cold once more.

  He pried Brian’s fingers loose and slipped from the man’s lap ignoring Jamie’s silent question, “Are you alright?” Tried to ignore the flash of hurt in Brian’s eyes when he dared to look at him. Kennosuke needed to think about everything. Takeshi’s being here. The threats. What Brian meant to him and what he might possibly mean to Brian. He wished there was somewhere he could run too, missing the storehouse back in Kyoto and the men often held there awaiting punishment. But this wasn’t home and the furthest Kennosuke could go was Brian’s bedroom.

  “I’m tired. Going to head to bed.”

  “Hey, it’s my bed. I’m not sleeping on the couch.” Brian’s words part teasing, part something else Kennosuke didn’t want to decipher.

  “Fuck if I care. Sleep where you want.” He headed to the bedroom, the laughter of the men teasing Brain chasing his heels.

  Kennosuke closed the door behind him, resting against it and wished it would drown out the noise better so he could at least pretend he was alone. “Hot and fucking cold,” he muttered. “How long till he switches back to cold?” And could Kennosuke survive it if he gave into the heat between them only to be frozen out once more?

  He shook his head and pushed off the door, leaving his clothes scattered across the floor of Brian’s bedroom and slipped into bed, Brian might trip over them later, but Kennosuke found he didn’t care, his eyes closing the moment his head hit the pillow.

  “Give it.”

  Kennosuke blinked, disorientated in his half-asleep state as he registered the blankets covering him were being tugged on.

  “I’m going to fucking freeze, Ken, if you don’t give me some of the damn blankets,” Brian’s voice growled, the bed dipping beside him.

  He groaned, released his tight grip on the blankets and rolled away from the centre of the bed. Kennosuke froze and not because of the cold sheets beneath him, unsure of what to do as Brian’s arms snuck around him. He wanted to relax into the embrace; to enjoy having Brian so close and yet he couldn’t. Couldn’t afford to let Brian know he was awake, despite the cheer squad forming in his head.

  This didn’t mean anything.

  Too dangerous to believe it did... way too dangerous.

  “Ken? You awake?”

  His heart raced, and he tried to breath slow to keep up the pretence he was asleep. Hard to do as Brian moved closer, his breath ghosting over Kennosuke’s skin and sending spikes of pleasure through him.

  “Fine. You lie there and pretend to sleep... I’ll...I’ll talk.”


  This should be good.

  Brian’s hold on him tightened. “I’m sorry. I’ve been such an arse to you... left you guessing at what my true feelings for you were. Pulling and pushing you in all directions... Fuck! I wouldn’t blame you if you hated me, and you probably should. But... you don’t. You keep leaving the door open for me to walk into your life and... Shit Ken, I want to be a part I want to take that chance. I mean I have no idea how it would work. We’ve both got commitments that we can’t abandon on opposite sides of the world...But I don’t want anyone else. I just want you.”

  Kennosuke listened, biting his lip until the tang of iron flooded his mouth to stop himself from speaking. Struggled to keep his breathing steady and maintain the illusion of sleep even though Brian had made it clear he wasn’t buying Kennouske’s act. Could he trust everything Brian was saying? Was it even real or was it another one of his fucking dreams?

  “Fuck, Ken. I-I love you so fucking much... it scares the crap out of me.”

  Brian wouldn’t toy with me like this, would he? His panicked brain tried to decide while his heart beat an uneven tempo that had Kennosuke frozen in place. It couldn’t be real. It had to be a dream. He wanted it to be true.

  Kennosuke was jolted out of his panicked state as Brian began to move. His arm slipping out from beneath Kennosuke and he couldn’t pretend to be asleep any longer, desperate to chase after Brian’s warmth. He rolled over, grabbing a hold of Brian before he’d pulled completely away. Glad the room was still cloaked in darkness as Brian’s breath caught, not wanting to the see the heart-breaking expressions of pain and regret on Brian’s face.

  “Brian-”

  “Ken... it’s okay. I know it’s too late... that I’ve left it too fucking late.”

  “Let me bloody well finish speaking and stop making assumptions on how I feel! Do you think I would have gotten so fucking jealousy of Melissa, if it was too late?” He tightened his grip on Brian, afraid the man might still disappear. Not this time. “But I want to know is why now? Why tell me now?”

  BRAIN KNEW KENNOSUKE wasn’t asleep when he pulled him into his arms. He’d been afraid to speak the words that needed to be said, but he did it. Poured out everything he’d been denying to Ken, to himself over the last few months. No, Brian had been denying it ever since he first met Kennosuke. It left him emotionally strung out and the way Kennosuke tensed in his arms, the silence that followed, had been soul destroying. He’d left it all too late. His chance with Kennosuke already gone.

  He pulled away, slipping his arms from around Kennosuke intending to leave the bed. Brian needed to get away, as far as he could from the mess he’d created and find a way forward without Kennosuke – to forget him. Except Brian didn’t think he could. He wanted... wanted only Kennosuke. His body went taut as a hand grabbed him, fingers digging into his arm as they shook. Brian held his breath steeling himself for the angry rebuke he so rightly deserved.

  “It’s not too late.” He heard Kennosuke whisper and Brian shuddered with relief. “...but why now?”

  His heart pounded out a panicked jubilant beat as Brain turned to stare at Kennosuke, his features muffled by the darkness. “I don’t want to deny it anymore. I want to stop lying to you... to myself.”

  Brian’s words were true, but it had been his run in with Takeshi that had prompted him to stop dithering and do something before he lost his chance. Takeshi’s insistence that Brian wouldn’t be able to save Kennosuke, rattled him and he couldn’t continue to hide his feelings beneath layers of angry teasing banter. Not that he was going to let Takeshi get close enough to Ken – or Jamie – to kill him.

  “Ken? Say something... anything. Please.” He hated this silence. Hated feeling raw and exposed emotionally, it was the whole reason Brian didn’t do commitment before, not wanting to be vulnerable like this in front of another person.

  “You’re such a fucking bastard.” Hurt and anger echoed through Kennosuke’s voice. “I wanted to get over you. Move on and find someone else... someone who could give me what I deserved... everything you refused to. But – and you should thank him for this – Jamie said I shouldn’t give up. Though when Melissa turned up...”

  Brian flinched at how Kennosuke spat out Melissa’s name. “Nothing happened. I didn’t go to her and the accusation that I would – that I should go to her, that fucking hurt Ken. I don’t cheat. Ever.”

  Kennosuke snorted, digging his fingers into the skin of Brian’s upper arms harder. “We weren’t anything... you could have slept with anyone you wanted.”

  A strangled laugh escaped Brain as he tipped his head back, before resting it on Kennosuke’s shoulder. “No, I couldn’t. There’s been no one since I returned from Japan. I haven’t wanted anyone else.”

  “Fuck. Me too.” Kennosuke sucked in a shuddering breath and Brian tensed not sure what he’d say next. “And as much as I appreciate the sappy sentiments, they’re starting to get a bit much.”

  Brian raised his head and grinned. “Yes... I think we have a lot time to make up for.” He shuffled closer, their hips almost touching when Brian paused. Kennosuke had only asked to stop talking and not mentioned anything else beyond that. His heart raced, stomach churning with a nervousness Brian had never experienced before. He hated it. Loved it. Wanted Kennosuke to close this distance between them.

  It was a kiss worth waiting for and one Brian would remember for the rest of his life.

  “Never thought I’d get to do this again,” Ken groaned, and Brian found himself on his back, Kennosuke looming over him as he straddled Brian’s hips. “Wish we could go a few rounds first, but it might get taken the wrong way by everyone out there.” Kennosuke jerked his head in the direction of the living room.

  “Nothing better to kill an erection than to have your father burst in.”

  “Speaking from experience?” Kennosuke teased, but his grip on Brian’s hands remained tight.

  “Yeah. More than once.”

  Kennosuke tipped back his head and laughed. Brian groaned at the glorious sight wanting to sink his teeth into the column of Kennosuke’s neck and the way his body rubbed against Brian’s as it shook with mirth added to his frustration. “Do you not learn from your mistakes?”

  “When your blood is stirred after a fight and it demands to be sated... sometimes it easy to forget to ask yourself, ‘Is this a good place to be fucking?’” Kennosuke stared at him with disbelieving look. “Come on... we didn’t always wait till we reached the bedroom... I remember being pressed against the car or the side of the cottage on the more than one occasion. It might have been off the main road, but Riley or Jamie’s dad could have walked across the paddocks or driven to the grain silos at any time...”

  “Oh, god. Fuck. It could have been worse. It could have been Jamie’s mother.”

  “Ah... yeah. Already done that.”

  “Seriously? Not with...? He could feel Kennosuke tense as his words tapered off, afraid to hear the answer if he asked.

  “No. God. No. Not with Jamie. It was at my sister’s wedding with one of the groomsman... and then later, with one of the bridesmaids.”

  “I bet that went down well.”

  His sister and Riley were not impressed, but hell he was not much younger than what Kennosuke was now and foolish. It didn’t help that Jamie had egged him on. “Yeah, she was like “For heaven’s sake Brian, what did I do to deserve seeing your bare arse twice in one day?” Then walked back out of the room and closed the door behind her.”

  Kennosuke’s grip faltered as he laughed, and Brian didn’t hesitate to take advantage of it. He moved quick to free his hands and grabbed a hold of Kennosuke’s hips rolling them until he was the on top. Brain gazed at Kennosuke still not quite believing this was all real as he ran his hands up Kennosuke’s sides and rocked against him, drawing out a deep shuddering moan. He leaned down, grazed his teeth along Kennosuke’s neck and nibbled on his ear lobe. “I would rather be doing something... other than talking.”

  Chapter
Twenty-Two

  Brian cursed, rushing to untangle himself from Kennosuke and took a pissed-off swipe at the alarm clock hoping to end its infernal racket. Except it wasn’t his alarm clock. Snapping fully awake, Brian clambered out of bed and searched for his pants in the dim morning light and grabbed his phone.

  “Cooper.”

  “Constable Cooper, the hearing regarding the investigation into the claim of Police brutality laid against you has been brought forward.” Brian stared at the phone in confusion as he listened to the Senior Sergeant speak. “It’s been scheduled for two this afternoon.”

  “What? That’s a little short notice, isn’t it?” He scrambled to locate the clock he’d knocked to floor.

  “Your involvement at the Northern last night, has necessitated it.”

  Brian scratched his head. It hadn’t been his decision to involve him in that incident and he hadn’t begged to be reinstated either. He shrugged his shoulders and glanced at the clock, it wasn’t early morning as he thought but almost midday. “I’ll report to the station in an hour.”

  “Good. See you then.”

  He dropped the phone on the bed and hurried to the wardrobe to find his dress uniform. Brian hadn’t needed to wear it since he’d marched on Anzac Day and it had gotten creased hanging up, squashed between his other clothes. It couldn’t be worn like this and there wasn’t time to get to it dry cleaned, meaning he would have to iron it himself – he so did not want to do that.

  “Hang it up while you shower,” Kennosuke mumbled, his face half buried in the pillow. “It should get rid of most of the wrinkles.”

  “Thanks, I’ll try that... now what did I do with my dress shoes? Pretty sure they’ll need a polish.” Brian dropped to his knees and peered under the bed, tugging the out from where they’d gotten shoved behind a box. “Definitely need a polish.”

  “Um... Brian?”

  “Yeah?” He turned back to Kennosuke shoes dangling from his fingertips while his other hand rested on the door handle.