Her Greatest Mistake

by Eve L Mitchell

  “You just made a sex joke,” I growled at myself. “About him. Have you lost all of your senses, Jemma?” I started the coffee pot. “Yes, I obviously have…because I’m standing here waiting for myself to answer…”

  When my coffee was ready, I went to the sofa and turned the TV on. I flicked onto a shopping channel without actually watching or listening to the presenters. I glanced at my phone. I hadn’t looked at it since last night. He might have answered, I thought as I took a sip of coffee and eyed the phone. Pigs may also be flying past the window.

  “Ugh, I hate that you make me feel this way,” I grumbled as I snatched the phone up. I had one message, and it wasn’t from Aiden.

  Calvin: I’ve been trying to rationalise your actions. Now when I look back, I realise there was more to the two of you at Table Four Six. Did you tell him where we were going? Did you use me to make him jealous? Was I just a means to an end, Jemma? I don’t like feeling like I was used. I didn’t think you were that person. I’m still not sure you are that person. Maybe we should talk? Or am I still being a blind idiot and not accepting what’s in front of me?

  I read the message twice, and when I read it a third time, I felt the tear slip down my cheek. I’m a terrible, terrible person. How do you answer such an open and honest message? I rubbed my nose. “With the truth, Jemma. You tell him the truth.”

  I stood and headed to the bathroom. I needed to be clean for this conversation—I still had Aiden on me. I could feel him when I moved.

  “You’re so freaking dramatic,” I scolded myself. “No one feels sorry for you, Jemma.” How could anyone feel sorry for you, no one knows about your slutty ass ways! “I will bitch slap you, inner voice!” I muttered as I ran the shower.

  By the time I had finished my shower and not had any flashbacks whatsoever to being in there wrapped around Aiden—liar—I was ready to call Calvin. I decided coffee and not wine was the answer for this conversation. I picked up the phone and swore softly.

  Aiden: Have you eaten?

  I checked the time when he sent the message. Fifteen minutes ago. In Aiden speak, that was like five years as he had the patience of a three-year-old. I almost laughed when another message appeared.

  Aiden: What? Now you’re not talking?

  “Are you serious?” I glared at the phone in exasperation. Ignore him. I nodded at myself and went back to the kitchen and topped my cup of coffee up. He’s never going to accept no answer. By the time I was back at the sofa, the phone was ringing.

  “What the hell is wrong with you?” I snapped as I answered.

  “Why aren’t you answering?” Aiden bit back.

  “Like you answered last night?” I winced as I said it; now he knew he was affecting me. Yeah, Jemma, I think he got the memo around New Year’s that he affects you.

  “I told you I was at a family thing.”

  “You told me?” My voice was rising. I could not screech. He had no tolerance for screeching. Raising your voice resolved nothing, I reminded myself. “You could have told me what the thing was! Why your wife was there?” I fought for calm as I walked back and forth over my floor, ignoring the twinges in my ankle.

  “Because it was a family thing.” Aiden’s voice was tight.

  “Jesus Christ, Aiden. It’s not 1972, and you’re not in a fucking mafia movie!”

  He hung up. I looked at the phone in disbelief. He hung up on me. Oh no you didn’t. I immediately hit redial.

  “I’m not talking to you when you’re being unreasonable.” Aiden’s voice was calm as he spoke to me.

  I let out a laugh. “Are you serious?”

  “You’re emotional. When you’re calm, we can talk.”

  “I’m emotional? Aiden…” I genuinely couldn’t find words. I struggled, and I took several deep breaths. “Aiden?”

  “Yes, Jemma?”

  You’re an insufferable prick. “You know why I’m upset, don’t you? You understand why I’m…struggling?” I resumed my pacing.

  “Not really, no.”

  I’ll kill him. “Aiden…don’t do this.” My eyes closed in despair.

  “I won’t be in the building this week. Possibly not next week either,” he told me matter-of-factly.

  “Okay.” I felt my shoulders slump in defeat. “You told me you would tell me what was going on.”

  “And I will. But not yet.” I heard him moving. Was he walking? I doubted he was pacing like me. “You need to trust me, Jemma. Can you do that?”

  No. Yes? There’s something wrong with you, Jemma. “Give me a reason why I should trust you?”

  “Because you’re mine.”

  I snorted out a contemptuous laugh. “I’m not a possession, Aiden.”

  I could hear the smirk in his voice as he answered. “I think I made it pretty clear who you belong to.”

  Such a dick. “When can we talk? Properly talk, no funny business?”

  “Funny business?” The smirk was still there, I could hear it. “You mean like when I fuck you and you forget your own name?”

  Okay, there’s no need to exaggerate. “Can you be serious?”

  “I’m never joking when it’s about fucking you.”

  “Could you stop saying fucking?” I cried out in exasperation.

  I heard a door close and shuffling around. “You’re suddenly picky? You didn’t mind it yesterday.”

  “Just say sex if you have to reference it all the time.”

  “Sex?” I could hear his barely contained laugh. “I’m not a teenager, Jem, I don’t have sex. I fuck.”

  What was wrong with me? Why was this turning me on? “Fine. There’s no point talking to you when you’re like this.” I flung his words back at him.

  This time, he actually laughed. “I knew you’d be a challenge.” He sounded amused. This isn’t a game, Aiden! “I have to go. I need to deliver a horse’s head to a competitor.”

  A laugh slipped out before I could stop it. “Not funny,” I grumbled, trying to pretend I hadn’t just laughed at him.

  “Course it was.” His voice was soft, and the knot in my stomach loosened. “I’ll see you soon, Jem.”

  “When?” I whispered as I stopped pacing.

  “Real soon,” Aiden’s voice was husky, and I licked my lips in anticipation.

  “And we’ll talk?” I pressed as I resumed walking.

  “We’ll see.”

  “We’ll see?” The knot tightened again. “What do you mean we’ll see?”

  “If you’re very, very good, we’ll talk. After.”

  What? “After what?”

  “After I enjoy what’s mine.”

  He’s insane! “Aiden!” I protested.

  “Gotta run, be good.” He hung up. Again.

  “I’m going to legit kill him,” I said as I sat down. I put the phone down on the coffee table and dropped my head into my hands. How was this happening? Why am I such a mess? “How can I let him affect me like this?” I asked my empty apartment. Groaning, I flopped back against my cushions. I needed to talk to someone.

  “Oh shit, Calvin.” I groaned as I remembered that I was going to call him. “Dammit.”

  I stood and went into my kitchen. I needed to eat, and as I eyed the contents of my fridge with disinterest, I thought about my mom’s cooking. My stomach rumbled, and I rubbed it absently. I glanced at the time and grabbed the phone off the sofa.

  “Jer? Hey, it’s me.”

  “What’s wrong?” my brother demanded.

  “I’m hungry.”

  “What?”

  “Can you come get me and take me to mom’s?” I bit my lip.

  “You called me at eleven thirty, on a Sunday, to come get your lazy ass to take you to mom’s because you’re hungry?”

  Didn’t I just say that? “Yes.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Yes.” I looked down at my feet. I was acting like a spoiled child. I grinned as I stared at my foot. “I fell in an accident at work and hurt my ankle.” Now he couldn’t
tell me to get the bus.

  “You had a work accident? Did you report it?”

  Shit, why didn’t you tell him you slipped in the snow? “I did.” I hadn’t reported it. I hadn’t mentioned it. True, I hadn’t seen anyone to tell them, and anyway, wasn’t Aiden supposed to report it?

  “Can you walk?”

  “Yes, it’s not that bad now,” I confessed. “I’m sorry for bothering you, I just had a craving for mom’s cooking.”

  “You’re never bothering me,” Jeremy replied gruffly. “You’re my little sister.” Aww. “You’ve been a pain in my ass since you were born. Bothering me no longer covers it.”

  “Asshole,” I laughed.

  “Mom and dad are at some churchy thing. It’s on all day, I think.”

  Oh. “If you’re up for seeing your nieces and nephews, you can come here? Rachel is pointing at our stove and nodding.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah,” Jeremy sighed. “I’m on my way.”

  “I love you.”

  “Shut up and be ready to go when I get there.”

  My smile was wide as I hurried to my bedroom to get ready.

  I was stuffed. I had eaten so much food. I was going to burst. “I can’t believe you let me eat all that,” I groaned as I rubbed my full belly.

  “No one forced the third helping down your throat.” Jeremy eyed me with amusement.

  “I feel like you did. I mean, I’m sure you challenged me…”

  “Daddy did, Aunt Jem,” Livvy told me, her little face serious. “Daddy said he bet you couldn’t eat anymore lasagnie, and you did.” She beamed at me.

  “Lasagnie?” I teased her.

  “It sounds better.” She grinned at me. She was currently missing one of her front teeth, and I had never seen anything more adorable.

  “So there you have it.” I turned to Jeremy. “Out of the mouths of babes, you challenged me.”

  “That was my lunch for tomorrow.”

  “Oh…oops?” I smiled at him, and he shook his head at me as he got up and left the table.

  I felt so much better for being here. Out of my apartment—or the den of iniquity, as my inner voice was now calling it. I hugged Livvy to me as she told me all about her project in the backyard. I had yet to determine what she was actually building and then realised it was because the little minx had tricked her brothers and her sister Jessica into building it for her. As she ran off to get her colouring book to show me her new pictures, I went into the kitchen.

  “She’s going to run the country one day with those leadership skills,” I laughed as I helped Rachel load the dishwasher.

  “The country?” Rachel snorted. “That girl’s going to rule the world.”

  “With Ollie right beside her.” I smiled as I looked at the kids playing in the backyard.

  “And Jacob walking over anyone who stands in either of their way.”

  “With Jessica scolding anyone who interferes,” I agreed.

  “I’ve created demon children.” Rachel looked out at them, her face full of love. Her gaze moved to Jeremy, who stood over the three of them with a protective eye.

  “What has she got them building?” I asked curiously.

  “Think it’s a tree house.” Rachel shrugged as she wiped her hands on her dishcloth.

  “You don’t have a tree suitable for a tree house.”

  “And that detail will matter to any of them…because?” Rachel looked at me with amusement.

  “Of course.” Smiling as I heard Livvy running back to me, I turned.

  “Aunt Jem!”

  “Yes, baby girl?”

  “I need to go outside; Ollie is doing it all wrong.” She was already tugging on her snow boots. “I’ll show you my book later!”

  “Coffee?” Rachel offered me after her daughter had run out the back door, banging it behind her.

  “I can make it. You cooked the meal.” I moved over to the coffee pot. “Thank you, it was delicious.”

  “It’s no bother.” She looked pleased though, as she sat at the kitchen table. “So what’s wrong?”

  I looked at her startled. “What?”

  “Tim and you broke up over five months ago, and you never once needed to come home to your family.” Rachel took a seat. “You handle things yourself, Jem, always have done. I think there’s more of you in Livvy than there is me sometimes.” Rachel tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “So tell me. What’s wrong?” She nodded to the backyard. “They’ll be out there for a while. Jeremy knows there’s something wrong too.”

  I stared at her for a moment before I laughed. “Am I so transparent?”

  “What’s happened?” she asked me gently.

  Could I tell her? Could I tell anyone? “I don’t think you’ll like me anymore if I tell you.”

  Rachel considered me and then stood. “C’mon, we can talk upstairs.”

  With the bedroom door firmly closed, I sat on my big brother’s bed and told Rachel everything. She sat quietly afterwards. Rachel hadn’t interrupted me. She hadn’t spoken when I told her how I had met Aiden, hadn’t said anything when I told her about him undressing me on the first day. Kept silent through the New Year’s Eve gala and the horrible confrontation afterwards. Not a word was spoken when I told her about Calvin, the restaurant, the elevator, yesterday. Nothing. She was completely mute.

  “You hate me.”

  “What?” She shook her head. “No, I’m processing. It’s very…intense. I think that’s the right word.”

  It was intense. Aiden was intense. “I guess.” I stared at my hands.

  “He sounds like a complete dick.”

  I let out a burst of surprised laughter. “He really is,” I agreed.

  “Calvin doesn’t sound much better.” Rachel frowned.

  “That’s not fair, it wasn’t his fault.”

  “Who orders someone else’s meal? That’s such a chauvinistic thing to do.” Yeah, it kinda was. “Do you believe him?” Rachel asked me.

  “Calvin?”

  “No, Jemma, Calvin is irrelevant.” Rachel rolled her eyes. “Aiden, do you believe him about his wife?”

  I looked away as I thought about it. “I don’t know.”

  “Oh honey, of course you do.” Rachel rubbed my arm. “You’ve been intimate with this man, you know him.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t know him, that’s the problem. It’s just been sex.” Glorious wonderful sex.

  “Jemma, don’t think about it,” Rachel spoke firmly. I turned to look at her. “Do you trust him?”

  “Yes.” I did?

  “Do you believe him?”

  “Yes.” I did? That’s a surprise. I really do, I realised.

  “Then stop beating yourself up about it.” Rachel smiled at me. “It’s complicated, granted, but love is never easy.”

  “I don’t love him!”

  “Okay, hun.” Rachel patted my hand and got off the bed.

  “Rachel, it’s just sex,” I protested.

  “Uh-huh, I know.”

  My eyes narrowed as I looked at her. “You don’t seem to believe me.”

  “Oh I do.” She fluffed up her pillows on the bed.

  “I don’t,” I repeated.

  “I know, you said.”

  I wasn’t convinced but decided to drop it for now. “So…what do I do?”

  “Wait.”

  “Wait?” I exclaimed.

  “He seems to be evasive, but from what you’ve said, I think he cares for you.” Rachel appraised her bed with a critical eye. “So wait. He needs to trust you too.”

  “I didn’t do anything!”

  “Of course you did.” Rachel looked at me in surprise. “He asked you to give him a chance to explain. Aiden then tried to talk to you that day on the stairs, and you didn’t let him. Then you went to dinner with another man. Trust is earned on both sides, Jemma.”

  Maybe she had food poisoning? Or some other illness? She was obviously not feeling right. “Did you listen t
o me? He said he wanted to fu—have sex with me!” Maybe Aiden’s bribed her? Maybe you’re an idiot.

  “Don’t be so stubborn, Jemma. Honestly, sometimes you’re as bad as Jeremy.” Rachel shook her head at me in disapproval. “He quite obviously wanted to tell you and you jumped to conclusions. Of course he was going to act out.”

  “Act out? He’s not ten!”

  “He defended himself. You thought the worst of him, and he acted on it.”

  What? I did? I thought about it. Huh…maybe I did.

  “I thought you said he was a dick?” I grumbled. Rachel was not supposed to be Team Aiden.

  “Oh, he is, he sounds like a complete asshole and control freak.” Rachel headed to the door. “But it obviously works for you. Just don’t let him hurt you.” She paused as she turned back to me. “Find out for sure about the wife situation. Something isn’t right there, but I don’t think it’s what you’re scared of. I believe him.”

  “You’ve never even met him.” She was Team Aiden—unbelievable!

  “I don’t need to know him. I know you.” She walked back over to me and hugged me. “Stop being so hard on yourself. Okay, it’s complicated, I get that. Uncomplicate it. Actually talk to each other. You can bonk like bunnies afterwards.” She hugged me again. “And maybe find out his last name so I can google him? I want to see this hottie for myself.”

  I started laughing. “I will,” I promised. “Thank you.”

  “That’s what big sisters are for.”

  “Thank you for not judging me,” I whispered quietly.

  “Hush now, I would never.” She tugged my hand. “Now, let’s go rescue your brother from his children.” She smiled at me, and we went downstairs.

  I felt so much better. On the car ride home with Jeremy, I said little as I thought about it. I was as much to blame for this situation as Aiden? I did not see that coming. He had tried to talk to me, and I had jumped down his throat. Then the next time we were together, I had just jumped him. I huffed out a laugh.

  “Man trouble?” Jeremy asked me.

  “Yeah.” I knew Rachel would tell him when he got home. I was resigned to that the minute I confessed all to her.