I look over at my desk where my cell phone is charging. He sees it and walks over to grab it.
“I’ll get you a new cell phone,” Father says, nodding.
“Father, he’s not a hood, please don’t take my cell phone,” I say, holding the pillow close to my chest.
“Ruby, you have no idea who his father is. It’s best that you cut all ties with the punk. I will not allow my daughter to get mixed up in that life and any association our family has with theirs would be the end of my career,” Father says, glaring.
“Oh . . . okay Father, I’ll be ready,” I say, nodding hating myself for being so weak and giving in so quickly to his crazy plan. I never could stand up to him.
“Good,” Father says, turning to walk out of my room, closing the door quietly behind him.
I turn with the pillow, fall on the bed on my stomach burying my face in the pillow yelling my heart out.
How can Father do this?
I’m going to miss Alek.
I love him.
I’m so scared and alone.
I hate Father.
I sit up and run my hands through my hair. I look out the window to see if Alek is home. His room is dark, he’s not here.
“Oh my god, I need to talk to Alek, but I don’t know if he will return in time. He’s been away from home more and more over night over the past few months,” I whisper to myself.
My tears roll down my cheek, I hug the pillow, shaking. I’m so cold. I need Alek’s warmth surrounding me.
I open my eyes, it’s dark. I look around pushing my hair from my face. I sit up, looking at the clock on my nightstand.
Oh my god, I fell asleep. It’s almost time for dinner. I decide I’m going to write Alek a letter.
I push off my bed, walk over to my desk. I grab my notebook and pen out of my book bag.
I write my letter, pouring my heart out on the pages, once I finish, I set back inhaling deeply.
I feel so much better that I’m leaving this letter for Alek. I walk out of my room, down the hallway. I walk into the kitchen where the servants are bustling around cooking dinner.
“Hi Irene,” I say, walking towards the island. I stand next to the island, watching as Irene diced the onion.
Irene stops cutting the onion and looks up at me smiling.
“Hi Ms. Ruby, is there something I can get you?” Irene says, tilting her head, with a gentle smile.
“Yes Irene, I have a letter that I would like you to walk over to Alek,” I say holding out the envelope.
I smile, looking at her, setting the envelope on the counter.
“I will do that as soon as I finish up here Ms. Ruby,” Irene says, nodding.
I smile and look around at what she’s cooking.
“Irene, it smells so good. Is dinner almost ready?” I ask, grinning, inhaling deeply as my stomach growls.
“Ms. Ruby, it will be about thirty minutes,” Irene says, smiling.
“Wonderful. Thank you,” I say, nodding. I turn and leave the kitchen.
Chapter Four
Alek
I walk up to Ruby’s front door, I pull on the door knocker, looking around the yard.
I can’t fucking stand it. Ruby hasn’t been to school for a week, and I need to see her, and to know that’s she’s ok. I haven’t seen her since last Friday.
The door opens, the tall thin maid looks at me.
“Hi, Irene, is Ruby home? Is she sick? She hasn’t been at school all week,” I say looking behind Irene, searching for any sign of Ruby.
“Hi Alek, Ruby is not home. She’s at her aunt’s,” Irene says, anxiously clasping her hands.
“Could you tell Ruby to call me?” I say, nodding, clenching my hand.
“I’ll give her the message,” Irene says, nodding as she takes a step back to close the door.
“Thanks,” I say, watching the door close in my face.
I turn, walk down the steps scrubbing my hands down my face. I look down the long driveway, and then down the street.
Fuck! She’s not sick? Where does her aunt live? I never heard of this aunt. I’m going crazy, I need to see her. I haven’t seen her since last Friday. I miss her. I miss her constant chatter, the way she can talk forever about any little thing. I miss her kisses, her laughter, and our lovemaking.
I walk over to my home gym, anxious, scared, and confused. My heart is pounding, my stomach is aching. It’s an intense gut feeling that something is wrong.
I walk into the gym, and see that my trainer is waiting for me shaking his head.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Nate says, glaring at me.
“I had to take care of something, but it was just a few minutes,” I say, resenting the fact that he controls all of my free time until it’s time for dinner, then I get to play my guitar.
And usually, I wait for Ruby to show.
What am I going to do?
How am I going to find her?
Is she coming back?
She did just go for a visit.
I’m going crazy.
“Ok, let’s get going, because you can’t have any breaks. You need to be ready at any given minute to be the soldier that you’re trained to be,” Nate says, starting to spar.
I focus on the training, but I’m a little restless. I’m going insane, I’m scared. My soul is aching, and my heart is bleeding
The next day I walk home from school feeling lost, angry, and frustrated.
What’s going on?
Oh fuck!
She didn’t come home. I’m fucking dying. I haven’t seen Ruby in a long time because I was at my father’s the previous weekend, so now it’s been ten days. What the hell is going on?
I scrub my face, stretch my aching muscles, and sit up. I’m so used to feeling my body ache, but not my heart and soul. Now I feel like my entire being is hurting, bleeding.
I walk to the bathroom, do my business, and return to my room rubbing my heart.
The noise filters into my open window. I always leave my window open so Ruby can get in. I walk over to the window, open it, and I lean out to look outside. I can see Ruby’s long driveway.
My heart skips a beat, and my chest constricts making difficult to breathe when I see the source of the noise.
I can’t fucking believe this! There’s a moving company parked next door. What does that mean? Where is Ruby? Are they moving? Why didn’t she tell me?
I run out my room, barefoot, and out the back door. I cross over to Ruby’s house, running up to the front door. I grasp the doorknocker, desperate to talk to her.
After a few minutes, Ruby’s father opens the door, clad in his business suit. He looks at me raising his right eyebrow.
“Yes, Alek what do you need?” Mr. Fox says, holding the door.
“Is Ruby home?” I say trying to look past him into the house.
“No, she’s not home, in fact she’s not living here anymore. I know that you understand what a moving company is for, yes, we’re moving. Forget about Ruby, she’s not for you,” Mr. Fox says, placing his hands on his waist, nodding.
“You’re moving?” I say, in a daze. I gasp, then I inhale deeply trying to control the intense pain that I’m feeling.
“Yes, that’s what I said. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m late for my appointment,” Mr. Fox says, nodding takes a step back. He slams the door in my face.
She’s gone?
She didn’t even say goodbye!
My heart is breaking, and I feel that tiny glimmer of all that is good slowly shrivel up into nothingness.
It’s at that moment I know my soul is dead.
Chapter Five
Alek
Five Years Later
I look through the scoop on my rifle, searching for my target inside the house. Igor is not home and I’m waiting.
I’m dressed in black leather, I’m also wearing a ski mask and black gloves. I’m a black glob hidden amongst the trees and boulders.
That motherfucker is
going down because Igor is a fucking traitor.
He thinks that he can be Capo, right.
Why would anyone in their right fucking mind want to be the Capo?
It’s an awful position.
The thirst for power is insane.
Yeah, you have money, lots of money, but you can’t live.
I have no choice, I’m part of this dark world.
It’s all too real to us because there will always be someone that wants to take you out to take your spot, but they can’t.
The Elites are the ones that move the pieces. They rule the world with an iron fist. They rule the Lords that monitor the Bosses, who handle the Capos, and then the soldiers beneath them all.
And, that’s me, a solider in my father’s organization. Being the Capo’s son doesn’t get me any special treatment.
I’m the Capo’s soldier, and I hate everything about it. My dear father killed my soul a long time ago. I’m his assassin, and what better way to groom me to be the next Capo, to be ready to step into his position, but to take out those who dare to try and oppose him.
Yeah, it sounds cruel, but that’s reality in my world. I don’t have time for any type of feelings, or for fucking regrets.
Fuck, I don’t remember the last time I did feel a damn thing. Sometimes I think that I never did feel, that I was born without a soul. The only thing that gives me peace, that takes me to another place is when I play my guitar and writing music. I would love to play somewhere in the world where my music would touch someone’s soul. But that’s not going to happen, ever.
A cool breeze blows around me, sending a chill through my body. It’s so damn cold tonight in the Folsom foothills.
I look through the scope, waiting for the bastard.
I’m breathing steady, slow, to keep control of my body. I’m motionless, ready to pull the trigger at a moment’s notice.
Finally, the house lights turn on, and then the one in the kitchen. I see the bastard walk to grab a glass. He then walks back to open the refrigerator and pulls out the wine.
Fucking bastard is alone, which is surprising since he’s always surrounded by women.
This target I know, but that doesn’t faze me at all. Like I said, I haven’t felt anything close to remorse in years.
He takes a drink of his glass of wine closing his eyes. The red laser light hits his forehead between his eyes.
I pull the trigger.
The bastard crumples to the ground.
He never knew what hit him.
I tear down my rifle, put it in my case, and I disappear.
A few minutes later, I’m driving the black car inside the warehouse to hide it. The guys will paint it, change the VIN, and license plates.
I walk over to my car, I press the key fob, and the trunk pops open. I set my case in the trunk and close the trunk lid.
I walk over to the driver’s side, and in no time, I’m driving down the freeway towards apartment in downtown Sacramento.
I pull into the private parking lot and pull into my assigned parking space. I leave the gloves on my console and slide the ski mask under my seat.
I pull out my cell, slide my finger over the screen, and I send the Capo, my dear father the text message.
Chernaya smert’: Done.
Capo: Right.
I slide my cell into my pocket, pull the door handle, and I slide out of my new black BMW.
I walk to the elevator, push the button, and the doors slide open. I walk inside the empty elevator, leaning against the wall. I watch the numbers flash as it moves up. I’m on the last floor, which is good, it’s safe, and I’m alone.
I don’t want any one in my haven. Nobody is welcomed, not even my father.
My cell vibrates, and I pull it out of my pocket. I slide my finger on the screen and look at the message.
Cher: Will I see you tonight?
Alek: No.
Cher: I thought that you wanted more?
Alek: No, I never told you that I wanted more. I’m not wired that way.
Cher: Really? Well, I felt that we fit, that we have great sex.
Alek: Yes, the sex was good, but I don’t want more Cher.
Cher: Jerk.
I don’t get it. I never promised her anything and I didn’t tell her that I wanted to see her again. I can’t have any close relationships with any woman. My soul flickered out a long time ago. If I ever had one to begin with.
The elevator’s doors open right on my floor, I walk into my foyer. My apartment is the only one on this floor.
I walk towards the bar to grab the bottle of tequila. I take off the cap, and take a long drag closing my eyes. Then I set the bottle on the bar counter top.
My cell vibrates, and I look down at the phone in my hand. It’s another text from Father.
What does he what now?
Capo: Son, come to dinner.
Chernaya smert’: I have plans.
Capo: Right. Tomorrow?
Chernaya smert’: Yeah.
Capo: Six?
Chernaya smert’: Yeah.
Yeah, I have plans to order pizza, drink this bottle of tequila, and play my guitar.
I need to relax.
I don’t need to deal with bullshit.
Or to listen to the soldiers intent on puckering up and kissing my father’s ass.
I did my job.
I’m done for tonight.
Chapter Six
Ruby
Oh my god!
I can’t believe that I’m back in Sacramento. I’m back, well at my father’s new house. after all this time, even if it’s just for a few days to get everything ready for my mother’s funeral.
I don’t know who killed my mother, she was found alone in her apartment. I never had the chance to talk to her, I never saw her after she left me behind all those years ago.
Now, I’ll never be able to talk to her, to ask her why she left me.
Why didn’t she look for me?
My heart is so broken.
The two people that I love never bothered to look for me.
Why?
Will I be able to see Alek?
And the bigger question, will he want to talk to me?
My heart is pounding so hard, my chest is constricting just thinking of seeing him again.
Where is he?
I need to go to his grandma’s house to see if she can give me his address.
I’m sitting on the carpet finishing up the last report that I need to turn in at school. I’m so glad that I’m almost done. Yeah, I’m getting my bachelors of science as a paralegal. Just like Father wants, because it will be good for me to work in the government legal departments. I’m sure that he has it all planned out; he always does.
I drop the pen on the table leaning back into the sofa. I close my eyes, biting my lower lip, thinking.
I’m finally graduating, and that means I can come back home in a few weeks.
Maybe, just maybe Alek is still mine.
“Ruby, did you make the necessary arrangements for the funeral?” Father asks, walking into the living room.
I really hate talking to my father. I hate being here in his house. Yeah, it’s bigger, and he’s now the Governor of California, but that doesn’t mean a thing to me. I know who he truly is, a bastard.
“Ruby?” Father says, waiting for me to answer him.
I look up nodding, picking up my pen. I smile a small smile, looking at him.
“Yes Father, it’s all arranged,” I say, playing with the pen.
“That’s good, great job. I’m heading out to a meeting. I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” Father says, pressing his lips into a tight line.
“Ok, see you tomorrow,” I say, nodding. I look down at my report hoping that he walks away.
“Bye,” Father says, and turning walks out of the living room, I hear his footsteps echo down the hall, and out the front door to his waiting car.
I breathe a sigh of relief, pushing off the carpet. I run to my room to
shower and get dressed.
I can’t wait to see Alek.
I need to see him, because after all this time I still love him.
I need to see for myself that he’s ok, that’s he’s happy.
Does he have someone in his life?
Does he love her?
If he’s happy, then I’m going to do the right thing and walk away, even if it hurts. I will respect the relationship.
I only want the best for him.
A few minutes later I run out the back door to the huge parking garage. I grab my keys from my purse, I open the door, and slide in. I turn the car on and pull out of the garage down the drive and onto the road.
It takes me a few minutes to get to my old house, and I park in front of Alek’s grandma’s house. I turn off the car, push the door open, and I slide out. I stand to look at the home in front of me, inhaling deeply and exhale. I close my eyes, all the wonderful memories rush through my mind. I start to tremble, scared of not finding Alek. I stand there for a few minutes, then I open my eyes, take a step back, and close the door.
I walk up the walkway, and up the steps to the front door. I pull the door knocker, my heart pounding so hard that I can hear it whooshing in my ears. I wait and wait for someone to answer the door. Finally, the door opens, and I look at Alek’s grandma.
She smiles at me tilting her head, she holds onto the doorframe.
“Can I help you? Oh my, it’s you my dear. how have you been? I missed seeing you around,” Grandma says, squinting her eyes.
I push my hair behind my ears nervously, nodding I smile at her.
“Hi, I’m doing good. I’m here for a few days, is Alek here,” I say, looking at her, biting my lower lip.
She looks at me, her eyes roam over my face for a few minutes.
“Alek is out back training. He should be done in a few minutes,” Grandma says, nodding.
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