Reluctant Proxy Bride

by Margaret Tanner

  “An old Indian medicine man out at a church run reservation not far from here gave it to me. He taught me how to find and mix herbs for tea and ointment.”

  “You’re a doctor and you believe that nonsense.”

  “It isn’t nonsense. Medicine men have successfully treated their people for generations.”

  “I don’t believe in it.”

  “The ointment I make has excellent healing properties and not just because I say so. The general store in Harper’s Mount sells as much of it as I can supply.”

  “What about the herbal tea?”

  “It will relax you and aid your body to recover from the birth.”

  “If you say so, Dr. Tyler.”

  He laughed. “I do say so. I wouldn’t give you anything that would hurt you or the baby.”

  “I know you only have our welfare at heart. I’ll do anything you think necessary.”

  “Ah, you are the kind of patient every doctor dreams of having.” He brought over a cup of steaming liquid. “It tastes a little bitter but not too bad.”

  She took the cup with a nod of thanks.

  “Sip it slowly for maximum benefit.” He stared at her. “According to my patients at the reservation, anyway.”

  “You see patients?”

  “Yes, a few at a church run reservation. I go over there once a week. The church pays me a small fee for my services.”

  He leaned over and placed his long finger against her lips and a sudden warmth filled her body. “Shush. Don’t talk. Sleep.” He took the cup and placed it on a smoothed out log he obviously used as a bedside table, then lifted it closer so she could reach out and get the cup without much effort.

  “If you happen to wake up and don’t see me, I’ll be close by and I won’t be away long. Tomorrow, I’ll have to venture a little further afield.”

  She nodded. He stepped over to the door on the back wall. “This is my root cellar I suppose you could call it.” He opened the door and disappeared from her view.

  She took a couple of mouthfuls of the herbal drink. It tasted slightly bitter, although it had practically no smell. She suddenly wondered about Tyler’s brothers. What would they have fallen out over? It saddened her. What she wouldn’t have given to have had brothers and sisters. Any relative at all for that matter.

  She took another mouthful of the still hot liquid then slid down under the blanket. Linen on the bed would be nice was her last thought before sleep took her.

  Chapter Ten

  Tyler got up and poured himself a cup of coffee then pulled his old armchair closer to the fire. Before sitting down, he stepped over to the baby and laid the back of his hand against her forehead. Her temperature felt normal. Another day of careful monitoring and she should be past any crisis.

  He had delivered a few babies during his time in obstetrics at a New York hospital in what seemed another lifetime, and it had stood him in good stead last night. Ruth was a brave young woman and to be honest, she did stir his senses. It would take little for him to develop strong feelings for her. He shuddered thinking about what could have happened had she gone into labor on the way here.

  It had been a fairly straightforward birth, but it was hard for her. She was such a dainty little thing; he had feared the baby might get caught passing through the birth canal.

  Dare he ask her to stay here with him? Be his wife in the truest sense of the word? Of course, he couldn’t. It was crazy even thinking like this. What did he have to offer her? Nothing, except a primitive cabin. No woman would want a wreck of a man like him. She deserved much better.

  The sweet little baby lying in a wooden box at the back of the stove deserved better also. Baby Jesus had been born in a stable, and this cabin was better than that at least. Becky’s wooden box was not much different to a manger. He shook his head, trying to rid himself of his unsettling thoughts.

  He liked solitude, didn’t he? It soothed his troubled mind, didn’t it? He cursed under his breath. No woman would find him attractive with his long hair and beard and uncaring of what he wore. At least I’m not dirty. That’s one thing he could not abide, not after the stinking filth of… He tried to force the memories of Andersonville to the back of his mind. They were just too painful. Good men dying and he could do nothing to help them. All his medical training proved useless there, and soldiers had died because of it.

  It wasn’t your fault. You did your best with no proper medical supplies. The voices arguing inside his head would send him completely crazy if he let them.

  The baby’s sudden wail instantly banished his demons. He leapt to his feet and stepped over to the stove. “What is it?” He picked her up and gently rocked her. “Don’t tell me you’re hungry again?”

  He stroked her cheek with his forefinger and the little hand shot out and grasped hold of it. “Have you wet your drawers? That’s a good sign.” He laid her on the table and unwrapped the blanket. His nose soon told him what was wrong.

  Grabbing up one of the pieces of flannel he had left folded and ready, he changed her and checked the umbilical cord for infection. Pleasingly, there was no excessive redness.

  “As far as this old sawbones can tell, little darlin, you’re doing well. Your mother is sleeping, and we don’t want to wake her up. She needs plenty of rest to enable her to produce a rich milk supply for you.”

  The little legs started kicking and he quickly wrapped her up and rested her against his shoulder. “Just wait for a little while longer.” He started walking up and down, humming the hymn Rock of Ages, and she soon quietened down.

  If Ruth could sleep for another couple of hours, it would do her a world of good. It worried him seeing the dark circles flawing the alabaster skin under her beautiful eyes. She had obviously had a hard life yet made the best of it.

  Maybe he should try to reconcile with his brothers. He could not believe he was thinking like this after so many years of bitterness.

  Becky suddenly let out a full-throated roar, her previous whimpers turning into loud crying. The sound shot through his head, causing him to groan with the pain. In three strides, he was at the bed. Ruth was awake now. Any wonder, the baby’s crying in the confines of the cabin was loud enough to wake the dead.

  “She needs feeding.” He placed the baby on the bed and helped Ruth sit up. “I’ve already changed her.”

  “Thank you.”

  He handed the baby to her and the little mouth opened, searching for the breast. Had she smelled her mother’s milk? Turning away to give Ruth privacy, he said, “The rain has eased off. I’ll take this chance to dash outside to make sure the horses are okay and to fill up their feed trough. At this time of year, I give them supplementary feed.”

  Feeling the baby suckling at her breast and making contented little snuffles was the best feeling Ruth had ever experienced.

  “Why do you give them supplementary food.”

  “Because the winter grass doesn’t have much nutrition in it.”

  “Do you read a lot?” She glanced at his books.

  “Yes. Sometimes at night when I can’t sleep, I read. I’ve read the books more than once.”

  “What about the bible?” she asked. “I noticed you had one.”

  He gave a rueful laugh. “I’ve read it three times.”

  “You’ve read the bible three times?” She didn’t even try to hide her shock.

  “Yes, every page of it.”

  “I’ve never heard of anyone doing that before.”

  “There’s some amazing stuff in it. If you don’t need me, I’ll head off outside. Shouldn’t be too long.” Without uttering another word, he picked up the bucket she had used and took it with him.

  After Becky had fed from both breasts, she fell asleep. Ruth felt her own eyes grow heavy and before she succumbed to sleep, she moved the baby into the middle of the bed to keep her safe. The room was snug and warm, the bed comfortable. She let her mind drift.

  ◆◆◆

  Ruth awoke with a start as an arct
ic blast preceded Tyler. He placed her bucket on the floor.

  “Sorry, did I wake you?” He took off his hat and slicker and hung them on pegs at the side of the door. They were only wet, not dripping. Hopefully, a sign the storm had eased off.

  “As I passed by the chicken coop, I collected a few eggs. My hands are clean, I washed them outside. I’ll take the baby to her bed.”

  He strode over to the table and deposited the eggs there before stepping over to pick up the baby. “No problems feeding her?”

  “No.”

  “Good.” He took Becky over to the stove and placed her in the box.

  “I’m feeling a lot better now, Tyler. Maybe I could cook supper for you.”

  “You’ll do no such thing. Tomorrow perhaps, you could sit up for a short time. You need to spend most of your time in bed for at least ten days.”

  “It’s too long.”

  “Don’t argue with me, Ruth. Two weeks is the average time for a lot of women.”

  “I know women who have been up and working after a couple of days.” She didn’t know why she was debating the matter with him.

  “They might have had to do it out of necessity. You don’t. And you won’t. Not while you’re staying under my roof.”

  His tone was hard, implacable, and she knew it was useless to argue any further with him.

  “What would you like for supper? I’ve got salted beef.”

  “Vegetables?” she queried.

  “Yes. I could make a stew.”

  “You can cook?” Virgil had been so useless he could barely boil water.

  “Yes.” He gave a wry grin. “How do you think I’ve lived all these years on my own?”

  “A lot of men would have used tinned food.”

  “I’m not like most men. I enjoy living alone.”

  Her heart dropped, and she could have wrung her hands in despair. He was obviously letting her know there was no place in his life for her and Becky.

  “I don’t mind this place being slightly on the rough side, but I do believe in eating properly.”

  “That’s unusual for a man,” she said.” He had a nice voice and she liked listening to him speak.

  He shrugged. “As I said before, I’m not like most men.”

  It was true. He wasn’t. He was a capable, caring man who had let the vicious demons of past tragedies take over his life.

  “Your milk seems to have come in well,” he said.

  “Yes, I think I’m going to be a good mother. You know, the matron at the orphanage where I grew up kept telling me I would never amount to anything because of being so plain, and being a maid or working in a factory was all I was fit for.”

  “The woman must have been an idiot. You’re pretty.”

  “No, I’m not.”

  “You are. Didn’t your husband tell you that?”

  She shook her head.

  “The man must have been blind.”

  She laughed. “I’m beginning to like you more and more, Dr. Tyler.”

  There was a determined thrust to his jaw. “I never say things I don’t mean. You are an attractive young woman, Ruth. What kind of marriage did you have?”

  “Not a very good one.”

  The breath hissed from between his teeth.

  “He didn’t beat me, and we lived reasonably well. He was a bootmaker. Once he took to the drink, any feelings I had toward him died. At least I got the baby out of my marriage.”

  “You deserve much more.” He leaned across and pushed a loosened strand of blonde hair behind her ear. “I only wish I could give it to you.

  “You could if you wanted to.”

  “No, I’m a wreck of a man. I couldn’t let you tie yourself to me.”

  She wrung her hands. “I’m already tied to you. We’re married, remember?”

  “Only on a piece of paper.”

  She suddenly threw caution to the wind. “It could be more if you wanted it to be.”

  A tremor ran through him, but he made no reply.

  Tears burned at the back of her eyes. She had gone too far and knew it. What would he look like with his beard shaved off and his hair cut, she suddenly wondered? Was she delirious? Had the herbal tea damaged her brain?

  Tyler concentrated on his cooking. It smelled great. Should she apologize to him for being so forward? Or would it make matters worse?

  Chapter Eleven

  Over the next few days, Tyler alternated from being friendly to surly. She could not understand the man. Becky was thriving and most times she sat in the old armchair near the fire to feed her. That was the only concession he allowed her.

  “Tomorrow, I really need to go to the reservation and check on my patients. I’ve put it off for too long. They will be thinking something has happened to me. Do you think you would be able to cope on your own?”

  “Yes. Leave a gun with me, just in case.”

  “No one will come up here, particularly those Boston people. You said yourself, once the baby was born, she would be of little use to them.”

  “I know, but I can’t help worrying.”

  “I don’t like leaving you alone here, but I do have a duty of care to my patients.”

  “Yes, you must go to them. They probably need you more than I do now.”

  “They’re old people, so I can’t risk not seeing them regularly.”

  “I know.” She smiled reassuringly at him. “I’ll be fine.”

  Tyler was a caring person even if he believed he wasn’t. Here was a decent man racked with guilt for something that was not his fault. He had put up a line in front of the stove to dry out their washing, mostly hers and Becky’s clothes.

  Nothing seemed to embarrass him. She felt hot all over thinking about the things he had had to do for her. Her feelings for him were strong now and not because she was grateful to him. What he felt she had no idea, only wished she did. He said nothing and his features were inscrutable.

  ◆◆◆

  It was cold and windy with clouds darkening the sky the next morning when he left for the reservation. “I should be back by mid-afternoon. Lock the door after me, and if it makes you feel better, I’ve loaded the gun and left it on the table. You do know how to use it?”

  “Yes.”

  “You’re perfectly safe. I want you to rest, understand?”

  “Yes.”

  He put on his hat and slicker and grabbed up a black medical bag. She went to the door with him.

  “Slide the bolt into place when I shut the door.”

  “Be careful.” Standing on tiptoe, she kissed him on the lips then started to pull back.

  “No.” The word came out on a groan as he clamped her around the waist and kissed her. Not the fleeting touch of her mouth on his. His kiss was fiery, long, and deep, as if he wanted to devour her.

  Suddenly, she was free. He stepped outside and closed the door behind him. Her hands automatically went to her lips as they tingled. For the first time in her life, she felt passion. Slowly, she bolted the door then returned to bed on shaking legs. Did the kiss mean he felt something for her?

  Regardless of what he said, she was going to do some cooking for him. Nothing too strenuous. She had to take care of herself because of the baby. She needed to check what he had in his root cellar. Hot biscuits were definitely going to be on her menu.

  Ruth was woken by Becky’s crying. Carefully, she eased herself out of the bed and picked up the baby, who now slept in the wooden box beside her.

  “Don’t cry, my darling. I’ll sit in the armchair by the fire to feed you.”

  For the past two days, the baby had been by her side as Tyler said her temperature was now normal. Sitting in the old but comfortable armchair, she put the baby to her breast and let her feed. Staring into the fire, Ruth wondered how long Tyler would be gone. She missed him already.

  He would be a good father to Becky. It was easy to see he was fond of her. Once the baby was fed and changed, Ruth made herself a weak cup of coffee and ate a few mout
hfuls of the cold beans Tyler had left for her.

  He had once told her collected his water from a stream close to the cabin. Each morning, he filled up a couple of buckets from a large barrel on the porch. If she was going to cook supper, maybe she should check out the root cellar.

  After throwing a couple of logs on the fire, she stepped over to the door of the root cellar and opened it. A shocked gasp escaped her. It was a cave with shelves along both walls and several large barrels. It appeared well stocked with bags of flour, sugar, and salt. Apples were laid out neatly in rows. A couple of pumpkins and a sack of potatoes and onions hanging from a ceiling beam made up the vegetables. Also dangling from the beam were legs of smoked ham and beef. He could live on this for weeks if need be.

  She shivered in her nightgown, wishing she had thought to wrap a blanket around herself before venturing down here into the coolness. The temperature would probably stay the same all year round, she surmised.

  Tyler had given her a pair of his socks to wear and she had forgotten to put them on. It was madness coming down here out of the warmth.

  An all-consuming weariness suddenly overwhelmed her, and she had to leave the ingredients for her meal behind. She made her way back into the warmth of the cabin, and trembling with fatigue, crawled into bed. Tears fell from her eyes and she angrily brushed them away. What was wrong with her? She had never been a weepy type of woman before.

  I need you Tyler, please hurry back. For a man she had only known for such a short time, she could not believe how much he meant to her. What if something happened to him?

  In such bad weather and over treacherous terrain, one slip could mean death. The tears fell faster as she fought to get herself under control. Curling up in a ball, she tried to sleep. It would make the time pass more quickly.

  Becky’s crying woke Ruth up and she climbed out of bed, picked her up, and stepped over to the armchair. The baby suckled for a while then turned her head away and started screaming. Nothing Ruth did would console her.

  “Baby, don’t cry.” She tried walking her up and down to no avail. She tried her on the breast, but the baby refused to take it. In desperation, she took her back to bed with her. “Don’t cry, don’t cry.”