Mike’s eyes grew gentle as he said, “I bet you were still gorgeous, even caked in dirt.”
A blush formed on my cheeks, and the chip I’d just stuffed into my mouth crunched as I hurried to swallow it down, but before I could say anything, a shadow fell over our table.
“Hey, honey. I thought that was you. See, Linc? Told you it was Rory.” I looked up just as Eden and her fiancé Lincoln came to a stop at our table, both of their gazes ping-ponging between Mike and me. Her attention finally settled on me, and there was no missing the inquisitiveness in her big doe eyes.
“Hey back atcha.” Standing from my seat, I gave each of them a quick hug. When I pulled from Lincoln’s embrace, I noticed his shrewd eyes drilling into Mike and knew I had no other choice than to make introductions. “Mike, these are my friends Eden and Linc. Guys, this is Mike… my date.”
“Nice to meet you both.” Gentleman that he was, Mike stood and offered a handshake to each of them, but I could tell he hadn’t missed the way their bodies locked up at my declaration of him as my date, and that their reaction had made him leery.
“Oh. Well, uh, that’s… nice,” Eden said, her usual beaming smile turning dim.
Lincoln’s steely gaze landed on me, and that same eerie, disconcerted feeling I always got when he studied me closely crawled up the back of my neck. It was like the man could see into your head and read all your deepest, darkest thoughts just by looking at you. It was his superpower, and an annoying one at that. “A date, huh? Cord know about this?”
Oh hell.
My lips parted to issue a cutting response, but Mike got there first, asking dubiously, “Who’s Cord?”
“He’s nobody,” I answered quickly before turning to glare at Lincoln. At that very moment, I wished I had the power to melt the skin off his stupid gorgeous face with my eyes.
Obviously sensing the tension thickening the air, Eden placed her hand on Linc’s arm, breaking our uncomfortable staredown. “Well, we just wanted to stop by real quick and say hey.” She gave me a contrite grin as she started to pull on her man’s arm. “We should let you guys get back to your date. It was good to see you.”
“Good to see you too, sweetie.” I leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek before shooting another warning look at Lincoln that made the corner of his mouth tremble as he fought a laugh.
“Well...” Eden’s attention darted between Mike and me once again. “You guys enjoy the rest of your evening.”
They left a moment later, but the discomfort their short visit had created remained.
“So,” Mike started as we headed out of the restaurant a while later, “who’s Cord? An ex?”
“No, he’s not an ex,” I insisted as we came to a stop by my car.
I couldn’t fault him when his gaze turned skeptical. “You sure? ’Cause that guy back there made it seem like a big deal that you were out with me tonight.”
Frustration tugged at me, causing an ache to form behind my eyes as I raked a hand through my hair. “Things with Cord are… complicated.”
“Ah, I see,” Mike muttered.
“I don’t really know how else to explain it,” I tried again. “But we were never together.”
A knowing expression passed over his face as he lowered his voice. “But you wanted it,” he surmised, proving that not only was he a good guy, but he was also incredibly intuitive.
“I did,” I answered honestly. “Once. But not anymore.”
“I got the impression from your friend in there that this Cord guy isn’t of the same mindset.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I ground out. A wave of so many different emotions I couldn’t place them all crashed into me, throwing me off balance. “It’s never gonna happen.”
Mike pursed his lips on a sigh as he turned his head and looked out across the parking lot. My stomach twisted up as I waited out the silence. Finally, his focus returned to me. “You’re an incredible woman, Rory. You’re smart and funny and absolutely gorgeous...”
My shoulders slumped in defeat, knowing exactly what was coming next. “But…”
“But I’m not blind. I know you weren’t feeling it, and now I think I know why.”
Guilt and shame slammed into me with the force of a tractor trailer. Here I was with this great guy, having just enjoyed what could only be described as a successful first date—until the end, of course—and I’d totally ruined it. “Mike,” I started on a whisper, “I’m so sorry.”
He gave his head a resolute shake as he reached up to cup my cheek. “Don’t be sorry. I had a great time tonight. It’s been a while since I’ve been on a first date. I was nervous as hell when I first got here, but you made it easy. This one might not have ended how I’d have liked, but it was what I needed to put myself back out there.”
I dropped my head and stared at the glimmering pink of my toenails peeking out from my heels as my sinuses began to sting. “God, you saying that makes this so much worse, because I felt the exact same way.” I looked back up at him to find him staring down at me with understanding shining in his eyes. “I had a lot of fun with you tonight.”
His smile was so sincere and infectious, I couldn’t help but return it with one of my own. “Then how about we consider this a successful first date, huh?”
Man, he was too much. I couldn’t believe he was letting me off the hook so easily. I nodded, unable to reply verbally.
“And if you ever decide you’re really and truly over that guy, give me a call, yeah? You have my number.”
With that, Mike leaned in and placed a short, chaste kiss on my lips. I couldn’t help hoping to feel a spark of something at that touch, but alas, nothing.
When he pulled back, I did my best to mask my disappointment as I said, “Have a good night, Mike. And thanks so much for dinner.”
“You’re welcome, darlin’. Drive safe.”
And just like that, my first date in years came to an end. And I made the trek back to my empty house all alone.
With nothing to show for it.
Chapter Five
Rory
I’d been in a crappy mood since I woke up this morning, and seeing as it wasn’t even lunchtime yet, I didn’t have a good feeling for how the rest of the day would turn out.
Since walking away from Mike the night before, an irrational anger had been festering in my blood. I was angry at Lincoln for mentioning Cord in front of my date. I was angry at Cord for invading my head the entire time I was with Mike. But mostly, I was angry at myself for not being able to move on from a man who’d hurt me over and over.
And since my crappy mood had already infested every part of me, it had started bleeding out into how I was acting toward everyone else.
I was currently behind the bar at The Tap Room, restocking the beer fridge while Mona and Dan gave me a very wide birth, choosing to wipe down tables and set up chairs instead of being back here with me.
Hell, Mona had even gone as far as offering to wrap the silverware—a task none of us liked—as long as it kept her several feet away from me and my shitty disposition.
Honestly, I couldn’t blame them for their avoidance. I’d only been at the bar for thirty minutes, yet I’d already snapped at them more than once for no good reason whatsoever.
I squatted in front of the fridge, reshuffling the beers to place the coldest at the front, when I heard the door open and Mona’s sweet voice say, “Mornin’, Eden.”
Slamming the door to the fridge, I pushed up and turned to look at my friend with a scowl as I crossed my arms over my chest.
She returned Mona’s greeting, then gave one to Dan before coming to a stop across the bar from me with an apologetic look on her face.
“Peace offering,” she said, holding up a coffee cup with Muffin Top’s logo on the front in her left hand. “I got you a vanilla latte with an extra shot as a way to say I’m sorry for what went down last night.”
I wasn’t quite ready to put her out of her misery yet, but I had to admit, h
itting up Muffin Top on the way here was a smart move. “You mean for how your fiancé crashed my date, then inappropriately brought up Cord in front of him?”
“Yep, that would be it.” She wiggled the cup and her eyebrows at the same time. “So what do you say? You forgive me?”
We both knew I was incapable of staying mad at her. Eden Brenner was just too damn sweet. With a fake defeated sigh, I reached over the bar and took the cup, slugging back a hit of that sweet caffeinated goodness. “Fine. You’re forgiven.” I pointed to the white paper bag in her other hand. “And what do you have there?”
She plunked the bag on the counter and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth nervously before answering, “That’s an apology apple fritter.”
The coffee cup stopped halfway to my mouth at her ominous declaration. “What exactly are you apologizing for with that?” She twisted her fingers together in front of her and began shifting from foot to foot. “Eden,” I said in warning when she didn’t answer.
“Fine. It’s an apology for the fact that Linc told Cord about your date this morning, and last I saw him, the man looked ready to breathe fire. So I’m apologizing in advance, because I’m pretty sure he’s on his way over here right now.”
“Are you kidding me?” I cried, slamming the coffee down on the bar.
“Wish I was,” she said with a contrite wince. “But you know how those guys are.”
“Jeez, those men. They gossip worse than a bunch of little old ladies.”
A snort burst out of Eden’s mouth as she tried to temper her laughter. She knew all too well how gossipy that particular group of men was. She and Lincoln had hit a bit of turbulence when they were first starting off. The result of that was for her to freeze him out, something Linc hadn’t been too keen on. And the men he employed at Alpha Omega Investigations were all too happy to help shove her back into his arms.
Before I could say a word or make a run for it, the door was thrown open and Cord stomped in like a raging bull.
Mona looked from Cord to me with wide eyes as she stood from the table where she’d been rolling silverware into napkins. “I’ll just, uh… go take inventory of the stockroom.” Then she bolted from the front of the bar.
Dan was no help either, fighting back a grin as he mumbled, “I should probably go help her,” before taking off as well.
Cowards.
“I think that’s my cue to leave,” Eden muttered as she started backing away from me.
I pinned her in place with a glare. “This isn’t over,” I admonished.
The woman actually had the nerve to giggle before saying, “I’m pretty sure I’ll be back in your good graces just as soon as you finish that fritter.”
Damn her for knowing me and my weakness for pastries so well.
She all but skipped toward the door, pausing where Cord was standing with his feet planted and arms crossed to lift up on her toes and smack a kiss on his cheek. “Later, Cord.”
“Later, sweetheart,” he muttered, keeping his murderous gaze on me.
Eden disappeared out of the bar, leaving Cord and me all alone. Suddenly the spacious room felt way too small.
He started moving, each furious clomp of his motorcycle boots bringing him closer to me until only the length of the bar separated us.
Ignoring the menacing electricity shooting off Cord and crackling through the air, I planted my hands on my hips and informed him, “The bar opens in fifteen minutes, so I don’t have time for whatever this is.”
That was the wrong thing to say. The rage radiating from him grew so heavy that I felt it pressing on my chest, making it hard to breathe. “Then I suggest you make time, ’cause we’re havin’ this out right fucking now.”
Desperate to give my hands something to do, I bent down to the trash can to tie up the partially full bag. “There’s nothing to have out,” I returned, yanking the bag from the can. “You said everything you had to say the other night. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m kind of busy.”
I turned on the heels of my killer brown cowgirl boots with turquoise threading and stomped toward the door to the back alley where the dumpsters were.
“Did you kiss him?” Cord asked, trailing behind me as I shoved through the metal door.
“You have no right to ask me that,” I spat, spinning around to shove my finger into his chest. “It’s none of your damn business.”
His eyes flared before growing dark as he glared at me. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
The trash bag swung wide as I threw my arms out in frustration. “And so what if I did, huh? Last I checked, I’m a single woman. I’m allowed to go on dates and kiss a man if I feel like it. And you’ve got no right to be pissed about that.”
Whipping back around, I stomped toward the dumpster, noticing that several bags had been pulled out and torn open, scattering garbage all along the concrete.
“Damn it,” I clipped, swinging the bag with more force than was necessary into the dumpster.
“What is it?” Cord asked, coming up close behind me.
“Damn animals are getting in the garbage again.” I bent and started gathering up the mess. “That’s the third time in the past two weeks.”
Without me asking, he crouched down beside me and helped clean up the last of the trash as he continued to press. “Rory, you can’t keep pushing me away. We need to talk about us.”
I threw the last torn bag back into the dumpster, then brushed my hands on my jeans as I slowly turned back to face him, pulling in a deep inhale to calm my frayed nerves. “Cord, I need you to listen to me,” I pleaded. “There is no us, all right? There never has been. We were friends once, but that was it. And you’re the one who saw to destroying that.”
I tried to step around him, but he moved in front of me, cutting me off. “And that’s what I’ve been trying to explain to you all this time. It was a shit thing to do, pushing you away because Laurie was insecure about our relationship. But I had my reasons for the decisions I made. I’m not trying to excuse it, but if you’d hear me out, then maybe you’d understand. I wasn’t trying to hurt you.”
I’d been avoiding this conversation for months now, scared that his explanation would only pour salt on the wounds he’d inflicted. But as we stood in that alley, staring at each other, I made the decision to finally hear him out. I was certain it wouldn’t make a difference, but maybe if I let him get out what he so desperately wanted to say, we’d both be able to move on.
“Fine,” I said, hugging my arms around my middle as I braced for what was to come. “You want me to hear you out, then I will. Explain to me what was so special about her that you threw my friendship away like it was garbage. Please, I’m all ears.”
Ignoring my sarcasm, he dove right in, and nothing could have prepared me for what he had to say.
“I was put in the foster system when I was seven years old. I don’t have a lot of memories from those first seven years, but what I do remember isn’t good. I had shitty parents who didn’t give a damn that they had a small kid who needed to be taken care of. My dad was always in and out of prison, and because he was a repeat offender, his last arrest earned him eighteen years.”
My entire body locked tight at that admission, but I didn’t dare utter a single word as he continued.
“My mom wasn’t any better, believe me. She got pregnant with me by accident. I was a product of what happens when two people are high out of their minds and forget to use a condom. When my old man was sent down for that long stretch, she decided she’d had enough. My last memory of her is watching as she drove away after pulling up in front of a fire station and telling me to get out of the car.”
“Oh god. Cord.”
“I had six foster families, each one just as shitty as my own parents, if not worse. When I was thirteen, I was kicked out of the last place for fighting and sent to a group home. That’s how I met Laurie. I had to switch schools after being moved, and she was in my class.”
My eyes began to burn
and my vision swam. I wasn’t sure how much more I could bear to hear. “Cord, I don’t think—”
But he didn’t stop. I could see the determination in his eyes to get this all out. “She was the first kid to talk to me. I’d spent years being treated like nothing, so when this girl came up and started talking to me, I didn’t know how to react. I did the only thing I knew how to do. I was an asshole to her.” He shook his head as if he was disgusted with himself for how he’d behaved back then. “I didn’t get it. No matter how rude I was, she never stopped trying. She’d sit with me at lunch, took the desk beside mine in class. For months, she pushed, and I’d push right back, saying some of the meanest things I could think of. Until one day, I was so rude I made her cry.”
His hands clenched into tight fists, and the deep green of his eyes turned dull. “I felt like the biggest asshole. Here was this sweet, pretty girl, and all she’d ever tried to do was be my friend, and I’d made her cry. After that, I stopped being mean. We became friends, and the following year we became a couple. She was my first real friend, my first girlfriend, my first sexual experience. Hell, she was the first person to ever really give a shit about me.”
“She was your first love,” I said quietly, the words forming a lump in my throat that threatened to choke me.
“Yeah. Back then she was my first love. But I was just a kid. When we graduated, she had all these plans for us. Everything was mapped out in her head. We’d go to college together, then get married and have a bunch of kids. She wanted me to get a job while she planned on staying home to raise the brood she wanted us to have.”
The way he spoke made it seem like he’d been unsure even back then. “But you didn’t want that?”
“I was just a kid. I didn’t know what the hell I wanted, but I knew I wasn’t ready for the life she’d planned out for us. I ended up going to a different college. We gave the long-distance thing a shot, but after that first year, I realized I wasn’t in the same place she was anymore and I broke it off. But we never lost touch. She was special to me, and I wanted to keep her in my life. When I finished college, Laurie and her dad flew to North Carolina for my graduation. When I completed BUD/S and became a SEAL, she was the first person I called. I took leave when her mom passed away from cancer so I could fly back to Ohio and be with her and her dad. She wrote me letters every week each time I did a tour overseas, and she flew out to be there when I got back to the States so someone was there to greet me.”
Stay With Me (Hope Valley Book 5) Page 4
