“So you guys were really close.”
“Yeah.” He nodded sadly. “And sometimes the lines would get blurry when we were together, and we’d fall back into old habits, but we never started our relationship back up. As far as I was concerned, we’d both moved on. She started seeing someone, and I was happy for her. Then I left the SEALS and moved here. And I met you.” He took a step closer, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear before resting his palm against the side of my neck.
“I wanted you the first moment I laid eyes on you, Rory, and I had every intention of making my move. Then she called one day, out of the blue, and told me she’d ended things with her man. She said she was still in love with me and asked if I thought there was a chance for us. I told her I wasn’t in that place anymore, but it still broke my heart to hear her cry. When you asked me out, my head was all messed up. I wanted to say yes, darlin’, I swear, but there was a part of me that felt like I’d be betraying what I had with Laurie if I did.”
I squeezed my eyes shut against the pain of his admission. There’d been a part of me that had craved those words for so long. I thought hearing them would make it all hurt a little less, but now I knew I’d been wrong. If anything, it made everything worse. “Cord, I can’t—”
“Her father passed away; that was why she tracked me down here. She came to Hope Valley because she was all alone for the first time in her life and needed a familiar face. I hadn’t seen her in years, and when she showed up, I found myself falling into those same old habits that felt so comfortable. She’d been a part of my life for so long that I confused that familiarity for something more. But even while I was with her, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. And she saw that. She saw how drawn to you I was. Hiding how I felt about you was impossible. That was why I pushed you away.”
It felt like a knife had just been plunged into my chest. His arm fell to his side when I took a step back to put some much-needed distance between us.
“I’m sorry, Cord,” I whispered, holding my middle even tighter. “I’m so sorry for everything you went through growing up. And I’m glad you were able to find someone in all of that who cared about you, but I don’t know what you want from me.”
The muscle in his jaw ticked as he clenched his teeth together. “I want you to understand. I want you to forgive me. I want you to give me a chance, because everything I just told you is the god’s honest truth. My feelings for you have only gotten stronger, Rory.”
Oh god. He was killing me. I needed to shut this down before I did something stupid.
Like let myself hope.
Chapter Six
Cord
Silence fell around us. I was so tense and anxious I felt like I’d come out of my skin if she didn’t say something soon.
“I do,” she finally said, making the vise grip on my chest loosen. “I understand now, and I do forgive you.”
My nostrils flared as I pulled in an impatient breath. “And the rest of it? Are you just gonna pretend you didn’t hear me tell you I want to be with you?”
She shook her head, those bright blue eyes shining with sadness as she spoke quietly. “No, I’m not going to pretend I didn’t hear it. But it doesn’t change anything.”
Reaching up, I raked a hand through my hair. “How can you say that? Christ, Rory. I know you have feelings for me.”
“I do,” she admitted with an assertive lift of her chin. “You know I do, seeing as I was the one who asked you out years ago.”
“Then what is it?” I barked, throwing my hands out in agitation. “What do I have to do to make you believe me, huh?”
Her eyes narrowed as she bit out, “Everything you just told me confirmed one thing. You’re always going to be tied to Laurie. Say I do believe you have real feelings for me, say I give this a chance, and she shows up on your doorstep and tells you she wants to try again. What happens to me then, Cord?” My lips parted to respond, unfortunately, she wasn’t done. “I’ll tell you what’ll happen. You’ll take one look at her and remember that she’s been the only constant in your whole life. You’ll remember that she was your first love, and I’ll be tossed aside again.”
“That won’t happen,” I gritted out, my heart beginning to race. “That’ll never happen.”
“You can’t know that.”
“The fuck I can’t,” I clipped angrily.
“Why? Because she bailed on you when you needed her the most? Tell me, Cord, where would we be right now if she’d actually shown her face while you were laid up in the hospital healing from multiple gunshot wounds? Would you still want me, or would you be with her?”
“I’ve lived in Hope Valley for years now, and there hasn’t been a single day I haven’t wanted you, Rory. So the answer to that question is a definitive yes. As for my relationship with Laurie, that was damaged beyond repair the moment she issued her ultimatum. I chose wrong when I chose her. It should’ve been you. I tried for a year and a half to make something work that had been broken a long time ago. That’s something I’ll regret for the rest of my life. But I knew for certain that there was no hope for us when she made me choose. I should’ve ended it with her right after, and I’ll always hate myself that I didn’t. But no, I wouldn’t still be with her now whether she’d been at the hospital or not. I’ve always known Laurie was spoiled. Her dad raised her that way. In the beginning, I thought it was cute how dead set she was to get everything she wanted. Eventually it stopped being cute, but I tolerated it because I cared about her. All that’s changed now.
“She wasn’t there because right before I got shot, we’d gotten into a fight. She wanted to move out of Hope Valley. I told her that was her choice, but I wasn’t going with her. She didn’t like that. Like I said, she has to have her way.”
“Jesus,” she breathed, her chin jerking back in disgust. “I’m sorry, Cord, but that’s a shitty excuse not to be there for the person you’re supposed to love when they need you.”
“I know, believe me. I also know you’d never do something that selfish. But she’s not strong enough to handle bad situations. Never has been because her dad cushioned her from everything her whole life.”
I could see the struggle in her eyes. “These are all pretty words, Cord,” she finally said after several tense seconds. “But they’re just words. They don’t prove anything. And they don’t change the fact that you were thinking about a different woman when you were kissing me.”
“For Christ’s sake! I wasn’t thinking about anyone,” I thundered. “I’d just been shot. I was so fucking doped up when we kissed that I didn’t even know it happened. It was another two days before I was even aware of where I was. I wasn’t imagining you were Laurie. Whether you want to hear it or not, as far as I’m concerned, that kiss never even happened. Our first kiss will happen when we’re both of sound mind, and I can goddamn guarantee I’ll remember it.”
Her chest began to rise and fall as the pulse in her neck sped up. Her pupils dilated, the black swallowing up the bright blue as she slowly dragged her tongue across her bottom lip. I knew she was imagining what it would be like if I were to kiss her right then, and my dick began to swell in reaction to the glazed look in her eyes and the tiny glimpse of that pink tongue she’d just given me.
It was then I knew I almost had her, and the knowledge that I was so close to winning her was one of the most intoxicating feelings I’d ever experienced. That feeling was all the proof I needed to know that Rory was more than worth the wait. When I finally had her, I knew without a doubt that I’d have everything.
Taking a step closer, I leaned in and lowered my voice, my breath whispering across her neck as I spoke. “If words aren’t good enough for you, then I’ll just have to give you more. You need proof that I go to bed each night wanting you only to wake up with that same need, I’ll find a way to show you. But make no mistake, dollface. I’m not done by a long shot. When something’s worth fighting for, I won’t hesitate to do just that.” I pulled back just enou
gh to see her eyes as I finished. “And for you, I’m willing to fight dirty.”
Her breath hitched on a heavy exhale, and those plump pink lips parted in surprise. “I-I...” She cleared the lump from her throat and tried again. “I n-need to go inside.”
Unable to keep myself from touching her one last time, I trailed my finger along the soft skin of her neck, over that rapidly beating pulse. “You do what you gotta do, Rory.”
It took everything in me to hold back my laugh as she skittered past me, nearly tripping over her own feet in her attempt to escape.
Oh yeah, I thought as I followed her back inside. She’s gonna be so worth it.
Rory
His speech had torn me in two. I was struggling between listening to my heart and my head. One part ran on emotion, the other on logic and reason. It was that latter part of me that was screaming to stand firm and protect myself from more pain, while the former wanted to throw itself into Cord’s hands, to hell with the risks of being broken.
I thought I was home free by the time I made it back into the bar, but as usual when it came to Cord Paulson, I was very wrong.
Instead of heading out like I expected, he took a seat on one of the barstools and tucked in like he intended to stay awhile.
Stomping over to him, I leaned in and hissed, “What are you doing?” just as the lunch crowd started to trickle in.
He had the audacity to give me an innocent look. “Waiting for you to take my order. I’m starved.”
I gave him the nastiest look I could muster even as my body felt like it was about to go up in flames. “Is this part of you fighting dirty?” I asked, lowering my voice so as not to be heard by the other customers or my nosy staff. “Because I have to warn you, unless your plan is to annoy the hell out of me and piss me off, it isn’t gonna work.”
His head fell back on a loud bark of laughter, and my eyes were instantly drawn to his throat. His Adam’s apple bobbed and the thick cords in his neck strained with the sultry sound. I hadn’t thought it was possible for a man to have a sexy neck, but once again, I was wrong.
Before I could throw a snarky comment his way, I caught movement from the corner of my eye and turned just in time for my stomach to bottom out.
“Dad!” I squeaked as he sidled up to the bar. This was so not good. My mom might have known the extent of my feelings for Cord and the impending heartache they led to, but I’d done my best to keep it from my father.
“Hey, dumplin’,” he said with a grin as I leaned over the bar to give him a kiss on his scruffy cheek. He then clapped Cord on the shoulder. “Good to see you, son.”
“You too, Bill.” Cord lifted his hand for my father to shake. “I was just about to order some lunch if you wanna pull up a stool and join me,” he said, turning back to me and giving me a snide, knowing smirk.
Oh fresh hell.
“Well, wouldn’t mind if I do,” Dad returned, sitting on the stool next to Cord’s.
Part of the reason for hiding my feelings was to shield Cord from the wrath of Bill Hightower’s anger. He and my dad had formed a bond over the past few years. They had a comradery I didn’t want to ruin, and if Dad knew Cord had broken my heart, that bond would go right out the window. My father didn’t tolerate anyone hurting his little girl.
Dad respected the hell out of Cord for his years in the service, even more so for getting out and going to work for a place like Alpha Omega Investigations. “Man’s the salt of the earth,” Dad had once said about Cord when I asked what it was about him that garnered so much respect. “He spent his adult life protectin’ our freedom. Then he comes out and continues to go about doin’ the same. Plenty to respect about a man like that. Same goes for officers and firemen. You put your life on the line to protect others, you got my respect, simple as that.”
With the unexpected arrival of my father, Cord had won this round. And the jerk knew it.
“So what can I get you guys?” I muttered, snatching an order pad from beneath the bar so I could scribble down Cord’s order as he placed it.
“I’ll have a bacon cheeseburger with a side of onion rings and an iced tea.”
“That sounds good,” Dad said. “I’ll have the same, but instead of an iced tea, I wanna try that new summer brew we just got in last week.”
My hand stopped moving as I looked up at my father and let out a snort. “Yeah, that’s not gonna happen. I’ll have the cook make you up a nice grilled chicken breast.”
His face scrunched up in displeasure. “The hell you will. I ordered a burger, and I’ll damn well have a burger.”
Dropping the pad, I braced my palms on the bar top and leaned in closer to my father. “Not here you won’t. Your doctor put you on a restricted diet. I’m not gonna be the one to tell Mom you keeled over from a heart attack in the middle of the bar because I gave in to you.”
“Damn it, Rory,” he cried, slapping his hand on the bar like a moody kid who’d just been grounded for a month. “I’ve been eatin’ that rabbit food for days. A man can’t live off that shit forever. I need real food. If I want a burger, there’s not a damn thing you or your mama can do to stop me.”
I scoffed, grabbing the order pad and tearing off the top sheet. “Uh-huh. Go ahead and tell yourself that.”
“This was my bar for forty-three years,” he continued to gripe. Like it was going to do him any good.
“Yep, it was. Now it’s mine, and it’s the chicken breast or nothing.”
He let out a loud harrumph before turning his focus to Cord. “Can you believe this? My own flesh and blood out to get me.”
Needing a break from the two of them, I turned on my boots and started for the kitchen, calling out, “Love you too, Dad,” as I made my escape.
I knew I could call my mom to come down and deal with my pain-in-the-behind father.
However, something told me getting rid of Cord wasn’t going to be nearly as easy.
Chapter Seven
Cord
The tightness in my shoulders had nothing to do with the weight attached to the bar I was currently lifting over my head and everything to do with Rory Hightower. That damn woman had gotten under my skin in such a way that I knew there was no digging her out.
It had been three days since our showdown in the alley behind The Tap Room. Three days since I gave her every ugly detail of my past, and I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her. Not once in three fucking days. The damn woman was even invading my dreams at night.
Every time I closed my eyes, an image of her appeared on the backs of my eyelids. All that long, flowing black hair. That smooth, flawless creamy skin. Those blue eyes that sparkled all on their own. I could still remember the first time I saw her clear as day. I walked into her bar, my eyes drifting over the impressive crowd before landing on her. And just like that, I was hooked.
She was the most beautiful woman I’d seen in my life. I had to talk to this woman who set my blood on fire with just one look. I had to know her. And the more I got to know, the tighter that tether between the two of us pulled, drawing me to her in a way that I’d seek her out just to see her smile or hear her soft, sultry laugh.
Then I went and fucked it all up.
I let the past mess with my head. I let guilt and a distorted sense of obligation cloud my judgment, and I picked the wrong woman. I’d known it the moment it happened, but I was too much of a coward to do anything about it. I couldn’t blame Rory for the doubt that muddled her beautiful eyes when she looked at me. But I was going to make this right if it was the last goddamn thing I did.
The bar crashed down on the rack, and I pushed my body to a sitting position on the bench. “Rooster” by Alice In Chains blared through my earbuds as I lifted the towel and wiped the sweat from my forehead.
I’d been at it for well over an hour now, pushing my body harder and further than was healthy, but these workouts were the only way I could burn off some of the tension swirling around inside of me, twisting my gut into knots.
I spotted movement from the corner of my eye and turned just as Lincoln clear the stairs that led from the offices on the first floor of Alpha Omega to the workout area that spanned the entire second level.
His eyes were pinned on me, his face like granite as he started in my direction. I let go of the bar and landed on my feet, pulling the buds from my ears as he got closer.
“We got a serious fuckin’ problem downstairs right now,” he gritted out, the muscle in his jaw ticking wildly.
“What’s goin’ on?”
“An unwanted visitor just walked in.”
My back stiffened, and every nerve in my body went on red alert. “Laurie?”
He nodded. “She’s down there right now throwin’ around attitude. Says she’s not leavin’ until she talks to you.”
Ice formed in my veins, and my temples began to throb. “Are you fuckin’ kidding me?”
“Wish I was,” he returned. “Told her she wasn’t welcome, but she won’t listen.” He pulled in a breath in an effort to calm his anger. “Hate to say this, brother, but I’m afraid you’re gonna have to go down there. The guys are holdin’ her back, but you don’t show your face, I’m afraid Rox’ll rip the bitch’s hair out.”
Stay With Me (Hope Valley Book 5) Page 5
