An Elegy of Heroes

by K. S. Villoso

  One putrid eye.

  He glanced away from his food and towards the view of the ocean to his left, towards the Shi-uin lands. He swallowed. Yn Garr was an idiot for crossing him. He smiled again and meant it this time.

  “How was Bardes?” Ceres asked, looking up from the stack of books she had somehow surrounded herself with.

  Enosh peered over the wall and smiled at her. “Wonderful. Excellent views. Also, my errand went well, so I brought you this.” He placed a stuffed rabbit-doll on top of the book pile. There was an enormous green ribbon around its neck.

  “A bunny!” Ceres exclaimed. “You shouldn’t have!” She took the toy, then leaned over to kiss his cheek.

  “As for you, my heroic rescuer, jewel of my eye,” Enosh continued, circling around the library to stand behind the sofa and look over Sapphire’s shoulder, “I got you something special.”

  He dropped another toy on her lap. This one was black, with a saddle of flecked grey fur over its back and hood.

  She closed her eyes and rubbed the bridge of her nose. After a moment, she glanced at him through the rim of her cap. “What is this supposed to be?”

  “It reminded me of you,” Enosh said.

  “It’s a badger.”

  “Exactly.”

  Sapphire made a sound in the back of her throat, took the toy by the ear, and placed it on the arm of the sofa. She wiped her fingers on her robe and returned to her reading.

  “So…” he said.

  “You’re still here,” she grunted. “Have you got nothing better to do? Apart from Ceres, that is.”

  “Hey!” Ceres barked from her seat.

  “For shame, Lady Sapphire. To imply that I would degrade such a gorgeous young woman as Lady Ceres…”

  “You do realize we’re in her private library? No one, not even the mites in the carpet, believe you.”

  Enosh shook his head. “Now you go too far, implying we did things here…”

  “...or that there’s mites in my library,” Ceres hastily added.

  Sapphire closed her book with a heavy sigh and looked straight at him. “I will probably never forgive myself for this, but go ahead. Humour me.”

  Enosh sat down beside her and grinned. “Ceres told me that you and Bannal are getting ready to head to the Shi-uin islands soon.”

  “How does that concern you?”

  “I want to come. I want to help out.”

  “You?” She snorted. “You seem to think me dim-witted. You were Yn Garr’s apprentice. You wanted to help bring this thing to the world. Now you want to help us destroy it?”

  He licked his lips. “It sounds bad, when you put it that way. But you’re also forgetting that Yn Garr has replaced me and wants me killed. Assisting his sworn enemies is about the best possible revenge I can think of.”

  “Revenge. Right. Go home, Enosh.”

  “If you’re so eager to see the last of me, why save me at all? You could’ve left me to rot in those dungeons.”

  “We thought you could help us, or at least have a hostage when dealing with your master. Now that we know that you have no value to him, in effect, you have no value to us.”

  “You’re wrong,” he said. “Let me hazard a guess. Since you’re all heading to Shi-uin, then that means you want to trace Farg’s steps. Farg, who was one of Raggnar rog-Bannal’s mages. In fact, I’m guessing that Lord Bannal had this in mind all along, and when the convenience of a demoted soldier from the Shi-uin people presented itself, well...how can he not resist?”

  He smiled at her. “Anything of value in there would be hidden behind strong seals. Seals that only respond to someone from rog-Bannal’s mages’ bloodline. Bannal is taking As’ondaro with him, but what does he know? Has he spent half his life studying this, as I have?”

  Sapphire pressed her lips together. “You would go so far, for revenge?”

  “I take it very personally when someone tries to kill me.”

  “Bannal will not like it. He hates you.”

  “Good. The feeling is mutual. That’s why I’m asking you. Bring me along as your hire. I can work for less than what I used to pay you.”

  “I’ll take you if I don’t have to pay you at all.”

  Enosh pretended to look horrified for a moment before sighing. “All right. We’ll have it your way, boss.”

  “We’re heading out in two days. Get your affairs sorted out before then.”

  “Will do.” He stomped straight towards Ceres and kissed her.

  After they came up for air, she laughed and pretended to bat him away. “And done. Anything else?”

  “Oh, just go,” Sapphire said. She narrowed her eyes at the both of them. “Better yet, I’ll go. I’ll see you in two days. Ceres...”

  She started to say something, made a disgusted sound instead, and walked away.

  Chapter Three

  If I was a good-for-nothing sack of shit, Kefier thought, where would I be?

  A part of him felt it was unfair to become angry before he’d given Enosh the chance to explain himself, but it was a very small part. His conflicted emotions over his relationship with his brother was reaching a turning point. The memory of the quiet, older boy who would go hunting or explore the beach with him was disappearing in the back of his mind. He was even beginning to wonder if those memories weren’t exaggerated; he did, after all, think his brother dead for a time. In a situation like that, even a floating turd in the ocean could be romanticized.

  He knew, too, that if he cared to follow the trail to the source of where it all began, it would lead to Sume. It was not a comforting thought. Normally, he could’ve dealt with these feelings. He’d done it before, back at Cairntown, thinking himself in love with Arlisa when he knew she was with other men. But now, that other man was his brother.

  No, you blubbering fool. You’re the other man.

  The thought irritated him further. Since when did he insult himself in Yn Garr’s voice?

  The good thing about being in Dageis, at least, was that it offered a distraction from the rest of his problems. He spoke Kagosh as well as Kagtar—in many circles in Dageis, the two dialects were almost interchangeable—which meant he had to make sure he wasn’t telling people any more than he wanted them to know. As far as they were concerned, he and Sume were merchants from Cael City, on business for Yn Garr. The massive company did not have as much of a footing here as in the Kag, but that made it all the more believable.

  He did have to spend an excruciating amount of time pretending to examine business ledgers and listening to propositions made by other companies wanting to partner up. He knew nothing about these meetings beyond the fact that Sume told him to show up, so he did. If it was up to him, he would have thrown Jarche’s notes off the side of the road and pretend he didn’t know any better. But Sume seemed adamant that they do things the way Yn Garr had instructed them, so he said nothing. He was rapidly learning that his nights were far, far more pleasant if he picked his battles.

  He caught sight of her in the distance, waiting for him near the corner of the library where they had agreed to meet after the day’s errands. He allowed himself a moment to catch his breath before walking towards her.

  “I picked up some buttered rolls on the way here,” Sume said, as soon as she saw him. “Do you want some?”

  “I already had lunch.”

  “Without me?”

  “The old man insisted on buying. I don’t know what it is, but just saying Yn Garr Industries was enough to make him wet his pants. Why he would care so much about a Caelian company, I don’t know. Not all the Dageians are as easily impressed.” He took the bag from her and cracked the top open.

  “Hey,” she said. “You said you already ate.”

  “I thought you bought this for both of us.”

  “I was just being polite.” She made a grab for the roll in his hand. It broke into two. He stuffed his half into his mouth before she could say anything.

  “Thank you,” Kefier said, his
mouth full.

  Sume smiled, but pretended to sigh. “That just means you get to cook me dinner.”

  “Are you trying to punish me or yourself?”

  They were at the curb leading to the inn they were staying at. He bent down to kiss her, but his lips had barely grazed her skin when he heard someone clearing her throat from behind. He glanced up in annoyance. It was the inn’s mistress with a note in her hand. He took it from her and flipped it open.

  “It’s from Jarche,” he said. “Can you read the rest?”

  Sume nodded, and he handed her the note.

  After a few moments, she tucked it into her pocket. “She said Ylir requested for a sum of money to be transferred to him in Bardes. That’s probably where we’ll find him.”

  Kefier felt his ears ring. He swallowed. “How convenient. I suppose we can head out tomorrow morning. I’ll start packing.”

  He turned. She grabbed him by the wrist.

  “It’ll take several days for them to have his coin ready and we can take the airship. Don’t you want to take a walk first? Figure out what you’re going to cook me? We have some time.”

  He looked at her. “If you want to die of indigestion that badly, I suppose I can oblige.” He followed her back up the road.

  They were quiet for a while, until Sume turned to him and asked, “Remember when we first met?”

  “Yeah,” he said.

  “I was still so young. My brother taught me that the only way to deal with problems was with a smile, so I did that. I smiled, and I pretended to be strong. What a fool I was. I still regret making that decision to go to Fuyyu. If I had reminded myself that I was just a girl, and I didn’t have to do all the things I thought I should, then maybe my father wouldn’t have died. I would’ve been there, at least, to say my goodbyes.” She shrugged. “But then, I wouldn’t have met you.”

  “And that’s a good thing, then? Having met me?”

  Sume turned back to him. “Cook for me first. Then I’ll decide.”

  Kefier smirked. “I remember Tetsung. Followed you around like a puppy. I’m glad he married your sister-in-law, because you would’ve made ugly children. That nose...”

  “Don’t be mean. Tetsung was a good man.” She sighed. “Some days I forget that we knew each other before all of this. I am not a girl anymore. You’re not that same man.”

  “I still am,” Kefier murmured.

  “But more, you see? I’m not even sure what to say about all the things you’ve done for my family. For Rosha. When I see you two together, I have to struggle to remember that she’s someone else’s daughter. She looks like you.”

  He scratched the side of his cheek. “Ylir—Enosh, you said his name was, he was from Gorent, too.”

  “Yes, but she looks like you.” She shook her head. “It’s just something I think about. You’ve been so good to us, and I…”

  Sume swallowed and kept walking. He wanted so badly to ask her what she meant, but his courage failed him.

  Only when they were back in their room, in the safety of the dark, did he find it again. Pulling her close to him, he kissed her, and thought he found those unsaid words in the way she kissed him back. He allowed her to push him against the bed, and tried to go over—so that he would always remember—the feeling of her smooth skin on his scarred hands, and the way the candlelight muted the features of her face.

  He pressed the tips of his fingers over her shoulders and hesitated. Something had changed. The urgency between them was gone, replaced by something he couldn’t explain.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked.

  Kefier didn’t answer. He wasn’t sure how. He ran his hands over her skin, marvelling at the smoothness of it, before he pressed himself into her and found himself lost in the sound of her quickening breath, that inexhaustible feeling of wanting and being wanted, of not caring where the darkness ended and the light began.

  Sume fell asleep almost immediately, curled up in the crook of his arm. Kefier pulled away before she got the chance to get too comfortable and got up. It was still early enough, and he thought he could start packing. As he pulled his clothes from the table, a piece of paper fell from Sume’s bag.

  He bent over to pick it up and realized, even before he smelled the pungent scent of it, that it was a packet of dried herbs. He must’ve stared at it too long, because he didn’t realize that she was now awake behind him. He turned to meet her eyes.

  “I had been young and stupid, with Enosh. I didn’t want that to happen again,” she murmured.

  He flipped the packet between his fingers. “Would it be so bad?”

  “I hope you’re joking, Kefier. To bring another child into this world…”

  “Right,” Kefier said. “With me, suddenly it’s the worst thing.”

  “That’s not what I meant. Why would you say that?” She pressed her hand over his shoulder. “You’ve been acting strangely all night, Kefier. What’s the matter?”

  “What’s the matter? You haven’t said anything, and tomorrow, you…we might see him again. And then this is over, isn’t it?”

  “I told you I can’t promise you anything. You agreed with me. By the gods, Kefier, you know this is more complicated than that.”

  “It doesn’t have to be. Not unless you’re planning to go back to him.”

  She pulled away. “I’m sorry.”

  He got up, fighting the urge to yell at her or throw things. The anger had become a well inside him and he was falling into it. He walked to the end of the room and stared at the wall for a length of time.

  “It was never going to work, anyway.” He swallowed. “I killed Oji. I think you need to know.”

  It took her a moment to gather a response. “You said before that you thought yourself responsible for it...”

  “No. I wasn’t clear. I killed him. With my sword.” He pressed his knuckles against the wall. “I’ve wanted to tell you ever since Fuyyu. I didn’t know how to.”

  “Explain.”

  A single word, but it slid under his skin like a hot knife. Suddenly, it wasn’t just Sume standing there—in his mind, he saw Gaven. Gaven who knew even when he himself had denied it; Gaven, who had always known.

  “That beast plays with your mind if you’re not strong enough, and it’ll kill you if it can, but not the way you said Oji died. So why did he die? What killed him? You said he was bleeding when you left the cave, so what killed him, Kefier?”

  He did not want to explain it; he had spent years pretending he couldn’t. Had it been anyone else, he would’ve walked away. But this was Oji’s sister. Even if he had never seen her before in his life, his words were long past due.

  “I overreacted.” He pushed his forehead against the wall.

  “That thing...it gets into your head. I was still confused, and then Oji grabbed my shoulder and I lashed out. I struck him with my sword. I didn’t realize the blade was out. One single, stupid mistake. You wanted to know why I stayed all these years.”

  He turned to her and saw that she was standing at the foot of the bed and that her face was very pale. “Sume…”

  He reached out for her, but she held her hand out, freezing him in his tracks.

  “You’re right,” she whispered. “It was never going to work.”

  Before he could move again, she stepped towards the door and closed it behind her. He sank to the floor and waited for her, but she didn’t return. He didn’t know why he even expected her to.

  Fog creeped in, masking the light of dawn. It didn’t matter to Sume, who had not slept at all since the night before. She had asked one of the inn staff to send a message to Kefier and waited for him out on the street. Part of her wanted him to ignore it so that she would have a reason to go off alone. She had to struggle to remember that this errand was for her daughter’s sake; her feelings could be set aside for now, at least until they found Enosh.

  He appeared, even before she got the chance to become restless. He had packed all their things into two crates, w
hich he deposited on the side of the road. He looked like he hadn’t slept, either, but she resisted remarking on that. Better she stop caring now before it was too late, even as a tiny voice inside of her whispered that it already was.

  They walked in silence all the way to the station gates. There, gazing up at the monstrous things in the sky, she heard him clear his throat. “I’ve never been on an airship before.”

  She must’ve made a sound of assent, because he gave her a look that made her want to both walk away and hold him close. It felt like there were walls closing in on her and she couldn’t escape. The whole night, she had been thinking of all the things she wanted to say to him—to put a voice to all the pain his confession was causing her—but now that he was right there, she found herself at a loss for words.

  What did she expect, anyway? She had always known he’d had a part to play in Oji’s death. They had all warned her. It explained so much, right down to his unnatural duty towards her family. All he did last night was pull the blinders off her eyes. She should be relieved. There was absolutely no way she could love a man who killed her brother. And the biggest thing here was that she, idiot that she was, had let it come too far.

  They boarded the ship and paid the fee. She sat away from him and allowed herself to be distracted by the feeling of the wind and the view from above. She could see the mage at the bridge, handling the ship’s wheel with ease, and thought about this strange new world that Rosha was about to embark on. If things went well, her daughter would not want for anything again.