I Am Unbreakable: (Josh and Izzy, #2)

by Angela Mack

  It shouldn’t have hit me with such force, I had painted the damn thing myself, but fuck if it didn’t feel like Ryan was looking right at me, as if the painting was breathing for him. I didn’t know if it was the bright lighting or the angle I was looking at it from, but it was as if he was in the room with me. Hi brother.

  “How did you know?” I murmured to Izzy, slipping my arm around her waist as we both stared at my display.

  “Well, first Jess told me. Then Mrs DeLaney called Mum to make sure we were coming. Then Ollie grassed you up for your fake alibi. So, there really was no way in hell that you were going to keep this from us.” I shook my head, laughing, and shot Ollie a look over my shoulder―traitor.

  “Joshie! Look! That’s me!” Georgie jumped at me and I picked him up so he could get a better look. He pointed to his photo and painting.

  “I know,” I chuckled at him. “Do you like it?”

  “I love it!” I peeked sideways at Izzy, suddenly anxious.

  “You’re not mad?” I asked.

  “Mad? About what?”

  “That I...that it’s Ryan?” My whole plan from the beginning had been to paint Ryan, Georgie and Izzy together. But as I’d worked on my project more and more, I felt like I had to make Ryan my priority. He was my true inspiration. I would live my life always thinking ‘this is for you, Ryan.’ Every new experience I had, I would be sure to share it with him. He would always be at the forefront of my mind. Always. My gaze roamed over the other photos, paintings and sketches that were dotted around Ryan’s face. I glanced over at Mrs DeLaney. It was like she knew that although Ryan was my final piece, it wouldn’t have been complete without everything else, without Izzy and Georgie and the rest of my family. She smiled at me, tears in her eyes.

  “You mean, am I upset that you cut me out the picture?” Izzy replied, and I realised she was teasing when she grinned. “Don’t be ridiculous, Josh. Although I would love to know where that’s from?” She pointed to the sketch of her and I shrugged.

  “It’s not from a photo or anything. It’s just from my brain. How I picture you.” I gave the drawing a once over again, smiling. The moonlight shone down on Izzy as she sat in the field, the wind whipping her face. She looked peaceful, calm. Strong. Even amongst the darkness.

  “Josh, we are so proud of you!” Sammy forced me into a hug, tears streaming down her face. Proud? She was proud of me?

  “Josh.” Charlie nodded at me, pulling me into a brief hug before slapping my back. He turned and stared at Ryan, a tight smile on his face, his eyes creased at the corners.

  “Well, fuck me, mate! You didn’t tell me you could do this!” Ollie shoved me in the shoulder, grinning.

  “What, no Jeremy tonight?” I replied as Izzy laced her fingers through mine. Ollie let out a burst of laughter. He was about to respond when someone cleared their throat. Everyone turned, watching as Mrs DeLaney and another woman edged closer to us.

  “Josh, I have heard so much about you.” The woman held out her hand and I shook it, feeling awkward. I'd never shook a woman's hand before. She was younger than Mrs DeLaney, but the family resemblance was obvious. She had the same eyes, same nose. She was wearing black trousers and a grey blouse, a notebook in her hand. She looked very composed, elegant―Mrs DeLaney’s change of style tonight started to make a little more sense.

  “This is Miss Julia Tate, the gallery owner from London. And yes, she is also my baby sister,” Mrs DeLaney said, laughing as she noticed that I kept scanning both their faces.

  “You clearly have some serious talent, Josh. That piece right there, is spectacular.” Julia jabbed the pen she was holding in the direction of Ryan’s painting. “It would sell in a heartbeat in my gallery.” She tilted her head in question.

  “It’s not for sale."

  “Josh!” Sammy nudged me and I realised that I had sounded harsh.

  “Thank you, though. That’s a big compliment,” I rushed, hoping she didn’t think I was rude. But there was no way I was selling that painting. Julia nodded at me, smiling as she held out two pieces of paper.

  “I hope we meet again very soon.” She turned and left as I took the papers from her. One of them was her business card stapled to a leaflet for her gallery. The other was the voting card that people had been given for the rest of the students in the year above. Mrs DeLaney had already explained that I would be graded like the rest of my class, the exhibition was a reward for all my hard work, so my name wouldn’t be listed. I looked down and noticed that Julia had put a single line arching up through the students’ names. She’d then written my name in neat scrawl right next to the question ‘Which piece of art is your favourite?’ In the feedback section, she’d also left me a note.

  Josh, if you ever want to share your gift with the rest of the world, call me.

  ―Julia

  “You know, I force her to come to these events. Every year I make her promise she will come, just to see the hope and excitement on my students’ faces.” Mrs DeLaney was reading Julia’s note over my shoulder. “In all the years she has attended, do you know how many times she’s ever handed her business card out?” I shook my head.

  “Once.”

  Epilogue

  Joshua

  10 years later

  “Charlie! They’re here!” I chuckled as we pulled up outside, Sammy waving to us like a looney from the front door. She ran out, heading straight for the rear passenger door, wrenching it open.

  “Nanny!” Sammy unplugged Ryan from his car seat, snatching him up and whirling him around as he giggled.

  “Come see what Nanny has bought you!” Sammy whisked Ryan away, his gangly legs kicking in excitement as she carried him back through the door. He’d shot up recently, no longer resembling a pudgy toddler. Oreo was yapping at Sammy's back through the window, unhappy that she'd stolen his favourite human and had left him trapped in the boot of the car.

  “Hi Mum! Nice to see you too, Mum. Oh yes, I’m very good, thank you. How are you?” Izzy laughed, shaking her head. Neither of us had even had the chance to take our seatbelts off. I leaned across the car, kissing her on the lips.

  “She’s just excited to see him. It’s been, what? A whole week since she’s seen him?” I laughed as Izzy rolled her eyes. We jumped out the car and I retrieved Ryan’s changing bag from the back seat, shouldering it. He was out of nappies now, but we still took a change of clothes with us everywhere we went―better to be safe than sorry. I popped open the boot and Oreo sprang out, charging after Sammy and Ryan.

  “Hey! There’s my favourite girl!” Charlie held his arms out wide as we entered the hallway, engulfing Izzy in a hug.

  “That’s more like it,” she muttered into his shoulder.

  “Sorry we’re a little late. I got er, held up,” I said. Charlie dismissed my apology with a smile, pulling me into a hug as well.

  “And by held up, he means he couldn’t bear to leave his studio without just five more minutes,” Izzy smirked.

  “What can I say? When I’m in the zone, I’m in the zone.”

  “More like you’ve not painted anything for over two weeks and now Julia is hounding you again!”

  “That too,” I laughed.

  “Come on. Now that you have finally arrived, I can get the BBQ going.”

  “I know it’s warm for the end of March, Dad, but honestly! A BBQ?” Charlie just grinned at her. I didn’t think eighteen degrees was exactly BBQ weather either, but there was no stopping the guy that wore shorts all year round. Good thing I’d remembered to put Ryan’s coat in the car.

  Charlie led the way through the house and as we walked down the hallway, Izzy suddenly whirled to face me, pointing at a photo frame on a nearby wall.

  “Told you! You’re cooking dinner for the rest of the week now!” She grinned in triumph, following her dad out to the garden. I paused by the photo she'd pointed at, shaking my head. The whole hallway was a bloody shrine to our son. Izzy had made me a bet this morning that her mum would h
ave a new photo up by the time we arrived today, but I was sure there was no more space left. I was wrong, clearly. It was a silly bet for Izzy to have made, though. I cooked dinner almost every night anyway―she had inherited her cooking prowess from her mother alright.

  I retraced my steps, taking a moment to look over the other photos. There was one of Izzy at her graduation, one of Georgie from a family vacation in Greece a few years back, another of Izzy and I cutting the cake at our wedding. On and on, although about two thirds of the way down the hallway, Ryan had taken over. Charlie and Sammy doted on him, completely.

  “There you are, I wondered where you’d disappeared to.” Izzy smiled at me as I walked through the patio doors, dumping Ryan’s bag on a nearby garden chair. She was chatting with Charlie as he turned some coals over in the BBQ, getting it ready. There was a bucket of ice at his feet filled with cans of beer and I headed over to join them, helping myself to one. Izzy shivered as the breeze picked up and I nudged her closer towards the warmth of the BBQ, using my free hand to rub up and down her arm.

  A squeal of Ryan’s laughter pulled my gaze; he was burying Sammy’s feet in a giant, brand new sandpit in the middle of the garden. Oreo sat next to them, wagging his tail. Every now and then, he'd pounce at Sammy's wiggling toes, making Ryan giggle. He was basically an old man in dog years, yet he still had the energy of a toddler. Probably why he loved Ryan so much.

  “I hope that’s staying here,” I jerked my head towards the new sandpit, raising an eyebrow at Charlie. “There’s no more bloody room at ours for more toys!” Charlie ducked his head, avoiding my eyes. I shook my head, smiling.

  “Surprise!” Georgie burst through the patio doors arms held out wide. A bulging, oversized backpack was on his back and he shrugged it off his shoulders, letting it land on the floor with a thump. I ran at him, sweeping him off his feet as I gripped him tight.

  “I didn’t know you were coming back!” I set him back down, grabbing him by the shoulders and giving him a once over. His face was tanned with stubble all over his chin, his hair long and pulled into a messy bun at the base of his head. He was lean with muscle, only a couple inches shorter than me now.

  “You didn’t seriously think I wouldn’t come back for your birthday, did you?” I hugged him again, making him laugh. Oreo was suddenly scampering around my feet, jumping up at Georgie for attention. That bloody dog loved everyone else more than me.

  "Hey, boy," Georgie murmured as he plucked Oreo off the ground.

  “I thought you were in Australia,” I responded. Georgie wrinkled his nose and threw his head side to side, trying to stop Oreo from licking his face.

  “I was. And now I’m not.” He plopped Oreo back down, beaming at me. He’d been travelling for the past year, but it felt like I hadn’t seen him in forever. Before he'd left, we’d barely gone a couple weeks without seeing each other. I had struggled saying goodbye more than he had, and even though we Skyped every month, I still missed him.

  “Uncle Georgie! Uncle Georgie!” Ryan noticed his uncle and leapt from the sand pit. He ran over as fast as he could, almost falling over in his desperation to get to Georgie. Georgie swooped him up, holding him high in the air above his head.

  “Boy, you’re huge!” Ryan giggled as Georgie pretended that his arms were about to collapse under the weight of him. He pulled Ryan into his chest, kissing the top of his head.

  “God, I missed you.” He squeezed Ryan again before putting him down, Sammy waiting patiently for her turn. “And yes, before you ask, I missed you too, Mum.” Sammy clung to Georgie as if he were about to flee at any moment.

  “Even Georgie gets a better greeting than me!” Izzy complained as she stepped up beside me, but she was smiling. Sammy laughed, lifting her tear-stained face from Georgie’s shoulder.

  “Good to see you, bro,” Izzy said, reaching out for him.

  “Your mother has been driving me crazy ever since you told her last week you were coming back. Next time, don’t tell anyone but me and it will be our secret.” Charlie threw Georgie a beer before putting an arm around his shoulder, pulling him in close.

  “Actually, there’s not going to be a next time. I’m back for good!” Sammy looked as if she was going to pass out.

  “Oh my God, really?” she squealed, and Georgie nodded.

  “Well, uni starts in a few months so I thought I’d spend some time with you all before studying kicks in.” Sammy threw herself at Georgie again and we all chuckled. Charlie went back to the BBQ, Izzy on his heels. Ryan grabbed Sammy’s hand, tugging her back to the sandpit.

  “Happy birthday, brother.” Georgie held his beer out to me, and I tapped my can to his.

  “Best birthday present you could have given me,” I said, taking a sip. Now that we were alone, I felt a pang of unease. I should tell him about yesterday’s phone call, but I didn’t want to ruin the moment. I was so happy to have my brother back. Besides, if he was back permanently now, there was no rush. I could tell him another time. Georgie eyed me, sensing my anxiety.

  “Don’t worry, Dad already told me.”

  “He did?”

  “Yeah. Bill rang him too. Dad called me straight after.” I nodded. Of course, Bill would have given Charlie a heads up as well.

  “How do you feel about it?” I asked cautiously. I knew I sure as shit didn’t give a fuck, but Georgie was a better man than me. He’d gone to visit him a few years back, saying he wanted to make peace. He hadn’t shared any details and I hadn’t asked. Georgie shrugged.

  “Just ‘cos I saw him once, doesn’t mean I cared about him. I feel the same as you―good riddance.” I held my can out again for another toast.

  “Good riddance,” I repeated. When Bill had rang with the news that Big Mike had been attacked in prison, I’d held my breath, waiting to see if he’d finally gotten what he deserved.

  “He picked a fight with the wrong person, this time, Josh. He’s gone,” Bill explained. Even though I’d completely moved on with my life, it was as if the final missing piece had fallen into place. A weight had been lifted; that monster was no longer walking the same Earth as me. Officer McNeil had been right all along; karma was a bitch (she’d just taken her bloody time).

  “Uncle Georgie! Come help!” Ryan yelled and pointed to Sammy’s legs, which were now buried up to her calf. Georgie put his beer on the table, racing over to play with Ryan.

  “Ten years ago, did you ever think we’d end up like this?” Izzy sidled up to me, wrapping her arms around my neck. She stroked my hair, staring into my eyes. I pressed my lips to hers, trying to keep my emotions under control.

  “No,” I whispered, turning her around so I could hold her in my arms, watching our son over the top of her head. I rested my chin on her shoulder and we both laughed as Ryan convinced Georgie to have his feet buried as well.

  “Happy birthday, babe,” she whispered back. No, looking back, I would never have guessed that my life would have ended up like this. My brother had grown into an amazing, selfless young man. He was going to be the first Bugg to go to university - university! Although actually, he wasn't a Bugg anymore. Sammy and Charlie had adopted him years ago. And when I'd finally married the girl of my dreams, Izzy and I had bucked tradition, and I'd traded my surname for hers. We all shared the same name now, like a proper family.

  And best of all, Izzy and I had created the most incredible little boy. Even at three years old, our son had an uncanny resemblance to the uncle he'd never meet. He had Ryan's smile, that was for sure. Every time he giggled, my heart would lurch in my chest. Every time he frowned, screwing up his little face, I'd see my brother shining stubbornly through his eyes. It was painful, even after all these years, but it was as if a piece of Ryan had lived on in my son, our son. I would never stop being grateful for that.

  There had been many times in my past that I would have said that I didn’t deserve the kind of happiness I had now. There had also been times I’d thought about giving up, that I couldn’t take any more of
what life had to throw at me. I didn’t deserve to live. But then Izzy had given me something else to fight for, she'd given me that final push that I'd needed. Thanks to her kindness and her unrelenting love, she'd made me feel worthy. Thanks to her and her truly incredible family, I'd made it through it all, even when it had felt like I was going to shatter into a million pieces. I hadn’t broken.

  Turns out, with a little help, I am unbreakable.

  Coming Soon

  Nick and Stephy's story

  I AM

  NOT LIVING

  Acknowledgements

  A huge thank you to...

  My husband. You’re not a big reader. In fact, I can count on one hand how many books you’ve read and I had no expectation that you’d ever read ‘I Am Unworthy.’ That day you went fishing and secretly took a copy of my book with you, only to come back later that day and tell me you’d read my entire novel in one day―wow. I think that’s the most romantic thing you have ever done (yes, I think it even beats Paris). Love you. Always.

  Meg, an incredible blogger, a new friend and now my unbelievably talented editor. You were my first ‘true fan,’ the first stranger I sent my book to. When you messaged me for the first time close to midnight saying how much you loved my book, I almost cried with happiness (OK, that’s a lie. I did cry). I cannot express my gratitude enough and I am so thrilled that you’re on this journey with me. (You can check out Meg's brilliant book review blog here)

  My mum. You nagged me to see early drafts of this sequel, but I kept putting you off. I wanted it to be perfect, but I was also worried about what you’d think of chapter 10. I hope it wasn’t too hard to read. Auntie Angela will always be in my heart.

  My sister. You’re not much of a reader either (unless it’s ‘50 Shades of Grey,’ right?) so it means a lot to me that you read mine. When you called me and asked for Josh’s address so you could take a loaf of bread round for him and his brothers, that really tickled me. Just to confirm, Josh and Izzy’s story is complete fiction.