by Alanna Lucas
Rex trudged to where Grams was sitting and gently rubbed her shoulders. He let out a long sigh—too tired and confused to think.
“One step at a time, dear boy.” Grams rubbed her soft cheek on his hand. “One step at a time.”
Chapter 16
After a long sleepless night of trying to figure a way to make all parties happy, Rex was no closer to finding a solution. He could not stand the distance between him and Tessa any longer. Glancing at the clock on the dash, he saw he had an hour before his day shift started at the hospital, and knew just where he wanted to spend it.
Phoebe would already be at work and he hoped Jillian was a late sleeper. He just wanted some quiet time alone with Tessa. Walking up the front steps of the restored Craftsman style home, sunlight streamed across the façade, highlighting two heads chatting through the window. Luck was not on his side this morning.
Three quick knocks and several seconds later, Tessa was in front of him with Jillian towering possessively behind her. She looked how he felt.
“Can I come in?”
Tessa backed away, opening the door wide. Jillian cautioned him with her eyes, before disappearing upstairs.
“If you’ve come to convince me to move back to Bernie’s—”
“I’m not here to convince you of anything. I just want to spend time with you, have a conversation.”
She crossed her arms. “I don’t want to talk.”
“Stop shutting me out.”
“Damn it, Rex! This is not one of your nieces or nephew who will go home at night. It’s your son. He will always be there, and that’s okay. He needs you.”
Rex was beyond frustrated. He wasn’t expecting to solve all their problems in one morning, but communication was crucial to their future. Then it hit him. There was more to this than just the arrival of his son. “What’s the real issue, Tessa?”
“I don’t know what you mean.” She started to storm past, but he grabbed her hand, forcing her to face him.
“What are you afraid of?”
Tessa pulled her hand free and backed away. Fear, mingled with tears, clouding her eyes. She swallowed hard, her voice quivering as she spoke. “I…I need to get ready for work.”
Tessa left Jillian on her own to explore Devlin while she went to work. As she drove to the bookstore, Rex’s question echoed over and over in her mind. What are you afraid of? Images of little Ryan snuggling in his crib with his favorite stuffed puppy drifted to the forefront of her mind. Her heart ached to hold her little boy again.
Tessa centered her gaze, focusing on the road in front of her, attempting to think of something, anything that would take her mind off the longing. She took in a long slow breath. Breathe, just breathe. No one, except Jillian, knew the dark moments she’d endured after the accident. No one knew how she couldn’t even look at a child without bursting into tears for the first year after it happened. And no one knew how desperate and terrified she was to open her heart again.
When she reached the bookstore and saw there was only one customer, she made some excuse to Dorothy about bookkeeping, went upstairs to her office and closed the door. She paced the length of the room for twenty minutes before her insides even remotely calmed down.
Rubbing her temples, she tried to focus on the store and not the new resident up at the house. Thanksgiving was next week, and she needed to prepare for Black Friday. She had big plans to make the day a huge success for On the Wings of Love.
Thankfully, time flew by as she prepared sale signs and bundled books with fancy ribbon. Before long, the afternoon sun had dipped behind the hill, signaling the day was coming to an end. Tessa took another glance at the employee schedule for the Friday after Thanksgiving before closing the ledger. Her body ached from sitting for too long. She was in need of a nice long walk, but first she needed to close up the store.
Except for Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata, the store was quiet. Sitting in one of the oversized chairs, Dorothy was completely engulfed in a book, oblivious to everything around her until Tessa reached the second to last—and most creaky—step.
Dorothy’s head popped up. “Oh,” she gasped as she clutched the book to her chest. “I didn’t hear you come down.” She slid a green leather bookmark into place and closed the book. “I hope you don’t mind me reading. It’s been quiet all day, and I already cleaned the glass, dusted the shelves, and vacuumed.”
“Not at all. Why don’t you head home?”
Dorothy strolled up to her, a look of worry and concern stitched into her features. “I know it must be hard on you but take it from someone who knows, don’t let happiness pass you by, embrace it with both hands and don’t let go. Rex is a great guy. And that little boy…” her words trailed off to whisper. “He needs lots of love.”
Not for the first time since Dorothy came to work for her, Tessa suspected there was far more to her story.
“Thank you, Dorothy. I feel so sorry for him, but—” The front door swung open wide, a cool fall breeze drifted through the bookstore, interrupting her.
A huge bouquet of white roses with red tips filled the door opening. Rex. Tears filled the corners of her eyes. She had only made a comment about her favorite rose in passing once and he remembered.
“I have a delivery for Tessa Pearson,” a squeaky voice announced from behind the display.
“I’m Tessa.” She fought back the tears and reached for the vase. “Let me help you with those.” Sweet rose encircled her, reminding her of their first picnic in the garden. She placed the vase on one of the tables then signed for the delivery. “Wait here, let me get my wallet for a tip.”
“No need, ma’am. The sender took care of everything, but thank you though.” And before she knew it, the young lad was on his way.
“Probably didn’t want to spend any more time in the frilly space,” Dorothy said with a snicker. “I’ll leave you alone to read the note.” She ended her sentence with a wink.
Tessa opened the rose and gold embossed envelope and pulled out a matching card.
I’m sorry about earlier. I never want to be the one to cause you grief.
All my love, Rex
Love swelled from within. Rex was different from any other guy she’d ever met. She had been through so much and didn’t want to lose him, but whenever he was near, his presence clouded her thoughts. She needed time and a little distance to come to terms with everything, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t text him. Pulling out her phone, she sent him a text.
Thank you for the flowers. I’m sorry, too.
Ten minutes passed before he replied. You’re welcome. I’m still at the hospital. Going to be a late night.
I’ll talk to you tomorrow.
She had barely hit send when her phone rang. Rex.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly into her phone.
“Tessa, you have nothing to apologize for. I’ve been short-tempered, what with trying to deal with Natalia’s parents, help her prepare for her surgery, and adjusting to being a father. I’m the one who needs to apologize.”
Whenever she had a fight with her late husband, Tessa had always been the first to apologize, taking the blame for whatever went wrong in their marriage. This was odd and, in a strange way, comforting. “I don’t like arguing with you.”
“Me neither. I’m taking Natalia to Portland tomorrow. Her surgery is Friday and I will be staying at Zane’s until Monday, maybe I can—”
“Rex, it’s okay. I’ll see you when you get back.”
Chaos stormed through her phone as sounds from the hospital interrupted their conversation. “Damn.” He spoke quickly, “Tessa, I have to go. Love you.”
“Love you, too,” she whispered as the phone went silent.
She felt a crazy mixture of hope and fear.
The last twenty-four hours flew by in a blur. The surgery had gone well, and Natalia was resting comfortably in a private room. Since Natalia’s parents arrived at the hospital, they’d not left her side. Rex could see they w
ere worn out, the emotional strain marring their features. After arguing with them for thirty minutes, he finally persuaded them to return to the hotel for some rest, promising he would not leave the hospital until they returned.
“Thank you,” Natalia murmured in a weary voice. “I know this is hard on them too.” She closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep. Rex paced the room, thinking of the past.
For as long as he could remember Natalia had struggled to have a relationship with her parents, especially her mother. Rex remembered telling Natalia shortly after they’d married that one-day she might regret not making more of an effort, but she had assured him back then it was for the best. Judging from the sorrow and remorse that had been clouding her eyes since her parents’ arrival, he knew she regretted that decision. Probably regretted a lot of her decisions.
Machines beeped softly. Nurses shuffled about quietly, tending to patients. The smell of bleach wafted off the sheets. It was all so quiet and calm.
One would have thought being a doctor and spending so much time in a hospital would be second nature for him, but Rex wasn’t used to being on this end of things. He felt anxious and helpless. Worse, he’d been sitting most of the day and his legs ached for relief. Since Natalia was asleep, he headed down to the cafeteria and grabbed a cup of coffee. There was one call he wanted to make before returning to her room, but doubt and uncertainty weighed heavy—like two worlds colliding.
Off the cafeteria there was a pleasant walking path that looped around the perimeter of the outdoor seating area. A light drizzle had kept customers inside, but Rex was not deterred. He preferred the quiet solitude and privacy the outdoor space afforded. He zipped up his jacket then pulled out his phone.
Tessa would still be at the bookstore at this hour. Although he desperately wanted to hear her voice, he settled for a text.
Thinking about you. He hit the send button and started to put his phone away when it vibrated in his hand.
Hi…. Miss you, too.
Relief coursed through him.
How did the surgery go?
Better than expected. She’s sleeping now.
It’s busy at the bookstore. Xoxo!
Xoxo <3
Putting his phone away, he breathed in the crisp rain-scented air. One more quick loop around the path and then he would return to Natalia’s room. His thoughts were too jumbled to focus on any one topic. Instead, he tried to enjoy the surrounding peacefulness, the soft patter of light drizzle on the pine needles, and the sound of gravel crunching beneath his feet.
He’d just finished the loop and was about to head upstairs when Natalia’s father stepped outside.
“I thought you and Gladys were going back to the hotel for a rest?”
“So did I,” he chuckled. “We were almost there when Gladys made me turn the car around. She didn’t want to be away from Natalia.” He inhaled deeply, clearly struggling for words. “We want to be here for her and care for her.” He choked on the words. “Gladys can be difficult at times, but she really does care.”
In all the years he’d known Natalia’s parents, neither had ever offered any kind of affection—not toward Natalia, not toward him, not even toward each other.
Not knowing what to say, Rex simply patted Harry’s back, offering comfort and friendship.
Harry wiped away a tear, his face red with embarrassment. “I’m sorry. It’s just...” He sucked in a long breath. “With everything that’s happened, I haven’t had the chance to thank you. Most ex’s wouldn’t have done a fraction of what you have.”
Rex looked him straight in the eye. “Our marriage may not have worked, and despite how things ended, I still care. I never wanted her to suffer like this.”
“It breaks my heart that she kept so many things from her mother and me.” Harry’s eyes were rimmed with tears once again, the lines across his face deep with worry. The shock of watching his only child go through this was taking its toll. And this was just the beginning. “You know, Gladys wouldn’t let me sell the house in Devlin just in case Natalia decided to come home. She wanted her to be able to find us. Every time we left for Nevada, she would leave a note on the kitchen table telling her where we’d be and for how long.”
“Will you stay in Nevada?”
“That depends.”
Rex knew where the conversation was headed. “Natalia needs you as much as you need her. You and Gladys are Alec’s grandparents. Regardless of what happens, I want you to be part of his life.”
Harry swallowed hard. “Thank you.”
An awkward silence passed between them. “We should probably head upstairs.”
Rex didn’t know what the future would bring for them, but at the very least Natalia had made amends with her parents, and Alec would be cared for.
Thoughts of Tessa were never far from his mind. Although they were communicating—unfortunately it was mostly by texts—the strain from everything was threatening to throw off the delicate balance. Rex wanted the chance to show Tessa how much he cared for her each and every day for the rest of his life. He had taken his first marriage for granted; he was not going to make the same mistake twice.
Chapter 17
Tessa rolled over and gazed out the large picture window. There wasn’t a cloud in the morning sky. She’d spent so much time at the bookstore avoiding Rex that she actually had nothing else to do on her day off. What in the world was she going to do with a whole day free?
Tessa knew she definitely did not want to be alone with her thoughts. She hopped out of bed and went in search of her two new roommates.
Jillian was sitting at the dining table, sipping coffee and reading.
“Good morning.” She hugged her friend from behind. “Where’s Phoebe?”
Looking over her shoulder, Jillian replied, “At the coffee shop, sleepyhead.”
“I didn’t sleep in that late.” Tessa took the seat next to Jillian’s. “Do you want to go on a hike today? I know a great spot. We can pack a picnic and make a day of it.”
“Sounds perfect,” Jillian replied.
Within a short time, the car was packed, and they were heading up the road to the lookout point where Rex had taken Tessa the day of their first kiss. But as she pulled into the parking lot, the quiet serenity she’d experienced on her last visit was now bustling with dozens of people preparing for a group hike. She couldn’t hide the disappointment from her voice. “The last time I was here, it was deserted.”
“Come on,” Jillian said as she opened the car door. “We’ll just go in the opposite direction.”
They grabbed their backpacks and headed up one of the trails. They walked in silence for almost an hour, enjoying each other’s company and the splendor all around them. Tessa recognized one of the overlooks where she’d been with Rex. “This would be a good place to picnic. The view here is incredible.”
A few minutes later, the picnic was set up, and they were enjoying the food and the view of the cove below. A misty fog had begun to roll in, enveloping the docks, but the rest of town was still visible.
Jillian nudged Tessa with her elbow. “I’m thinking of moving up to Devlin.”
“That’s wonderful news, but I thought you said you’d never leave L.A.?”
She inhaled deeply while fumbling with her hands. “Yeah, well…”
“Jillian? What’s going on?”
“Do you remember your father?”
That seemed like a random, out of nowhere question, but clearly something was troubling Jillian. “No, and my mom never talked about him.”
“Do you ever wonder where he is or what happened to him?”
Warm sunlight caressed her cheek, tempting distant memories from hibernation. “I did when I was little, but as I got older, I realized it was his loss. My mom made up for a dozen fathers. Why all the questions?”
There was a long pause before Jillian responded, “Just been having a rough time with my family, that’s all.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
>
“No.” The single word was firm and final.
Okay. Tension rolled between them like fog. Tessa decided to try and lighten the mood. “So, when do you think you might make the move up here?”
Jillian looked at her sheepishly. “I have a confession.”
Oh dear. “It’s not another Vegas wedding?”
Laughter encircled them, pushing the hazy tension down the hill. “No, and let’s never speak of that again!” The moment passed and Tessa waited in anticipation as Jillian seemed to struggle for words. “I got laid off two weeks ago and decided then that a change of scenery might be good. I got rid of almost everything and sold my car. Phoebe offered the spare room at her place and a job at the coffee shop. I fly back the day after Thanksgiving, will rent a moving truck for the rest of my stuff, and then drive right back up.”
Tessa was speechless. Jillian was always one to do things on the spur of the moment, and then spring it on her, but this was a lot to digest. “Wow, I don’t even know where to begin.” Jillian looked at her with pleading eyes. Tessa knew that look. She wanted approval. “You know I am ecstatic that you’ll be living here. It will be just like old times, but are you sure you can handle the quiet seaside town?”
“I think it’s time I reevaluate my priorities.” It seemed like Jillian wanted to say more, but quickly changed the subject. “It’s gorgeous up here.”
Tessa inhaled the fresh crisp fall air that mingled with a hint of salty sea breeze. She missed Rex. This is where he’d declared his love for her. This is where she realized she could let go of the past and take a second chance on love. This is where she told him she wasn’t sure about children, and he kissed away her fears. And here she was, unsure about the future with Rex and his son.
