by Alanna Lucas
“What are you thinking?”
“Just about Rex and Alec.”
“Do you want to know what I think?”
“Whether I do or not, you’re going to tell me anyway,” Tessa teased.
“That’s because I adore you.” There was no hint of teasing in Jillian’s tone. “I think that little guy would be so lucky to have you in his life.”
Tears burned her eyes. “Why?”
“You have such a capacity for love and are so compassionate. With all that lies ahead, Alec needs you. I know you thought losing your family was the end, but you have the chance of an incredible beginning. All you have to do is open your heart to love.” Jillian leaned in close. “And I’m not talking about Rex.”
Jillian’s words swirled around in Tessa’s head. Rex was due back tomorrow, and she didn’t know if she was ready to face him—or her greatest fear.
The house was empty, quiet. Only the soft sounds of water lapping, drifting in from the en suite travelled through the house. Although Phoebe promised she and Jillian would not return tonight, he wasn’t taking any chances. Rex closed the door to the bedroom and locked it, before taking off his shoes and socks. He made his way to the bathroom and quietly pushed the door open, stepping inside the large steamy space.
A dozen candles illuminated the white and grey room. Sweet lavender lingered in the mist. Tessa’s head barely reached above the cloud of bubbles in the extra-large whirlpool tub. Her eyes were closed, her face peaceful. She was a sight for sore eyes and positively breathtaking.
Her eyes fluttered open. “What are you doing here?”
“Well, since you keep running from me, ignoring me in fact,” he teased with feigned hurt, “I had to take drastic measures.”
“And visit me while I was in the bath?”
He tilted his head to one side and nodded. “Pretty much. I figured you wouldn’t be running off, not when you’re naked.” He knelt down beside the tub and brushed the wet locks of hair off her cheek. “Talk to me.”
He waited patiently for countless seconds, as she seemed to struggle with her thoughts. For a brief moment he thought she would ask him to leave, but she took in a long deep breath, her eyes filling instantly with tears. “I’m afraid.”
Rex knew what she would say—they’d had this conversation before—but wanted her to speak the words. He’d learned long ago that sometimes voicing your fears helped to face them. “What are you afraid of?”
“Of forgetting.”
That was not what Rex was expecting. “Forgetting what?”
Her beautiful green eyes held so much confusion. He stroked her hair as she rested her cheek on the edge of the tub. She inhaled deeply and then on a long exhale said, “I’m afraid that by loving another child, Ryan will fade into a distant memory.” Heavy sobs shuddered through her. “That…that I will forget him.”
Rex reached for her, not caring how wet he got. “I won’t let you forget him.”
It suddenly dawned on Rex that he’d never seen a picture of Ryan. He’d spent plenty of time in Tessa’s room at Grams’ place, but there were no photos, no personal mementos, nothing from her past. Perhaps the pain was just too great.
Cupping her face, he wiped away the tears. “I won’t let you forget him.” He kissed the worry creases on her forehead. “I am not going to ask you to do anything you don’t want to do. I just don’t want to lose you.”
“Thank you for understanding. I do want to get to know your son, but…”
“None of this has to be decided tonight.” He kissed her damp forehead. “One step at a time.”
Tessa giggled and she sniffled. “I think Bernie might start charging a dollar every time someone uses that phrase.”
Rex’s laughter echoed through the space. He reached across the rim of the tub and kissed her softly on the lips. It was a kiss for his tired soul to melt into. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you, too,” she breathed on a whisper of desire.
“Do you mind if I stay?”
She looked him over seductively, sending a bolt of desire straight down to his toes. “Not at all, and besides, you already took off your socks.”
“I hate wet socks.”
“I know.” Her smile warmed his heart.
Rex quickly undressed and eased into the hot water as bubbles cascaded over the edge. “I don’t remember the last time I took a bath, especially surrounded by candles, and bubbles.”
Tessa offered a sultry half-smile. “Well, I hope it doesn’t disappoint.”
Rex took her hand and pulled Tessa to his side of the large tub. He devoured her lips, exploring her sweet mouth with his tongue before he slowed the kisses, nipping at her lips. This wasn’t some mad rush to the end; he wanted to enjoy their lovemaking, take his time, and explore.
“Turn around.” His request earned him a raised brow and an adorable look of confusion. Water sloshed over the edge as she settled between his legs, her warm smooth back resting against his chest.
“This feels good,” she murmured, then sighed as she sank farther into him.
Rex reached for the purple bar of soap. “What is this?” He said as he sniffed the bar.
“Lavender soap.”
Rex lathered the soap in his hands. As he rubbed her shoulders, lavender wafted through the air, surrounding them, transporting them to a world where only they existed. He gently massaged her arms while kissing her ear. A soft moan escaped her lips.
“Do you like that?”
“Oh, yes.” She ran her hands slowly up his thigh, caressing the inside with firm fingers. His sharp intake of breath only seemed to encourage her. She slid her hand between them, stroking the length of him in a firm, steady motion.
Her boldness encouraged Rex to do the same. He fondled her breast, teasing the nipple into a hard peak while his other hand slowly weaved a pattern down her silky stomach. Her breathing quickened as he slid his fingers between her legs. He rubbed the tiny bud before delving one finger inside her.
“Oh, yes,” she moaned as she arched her back, bubbles flying through the steamy air.
Rex didn’t know how much more of her seductive encouragement he could take. He pulled his finger out and turned her petite form around. “Straddle me.” Her eyes went dark with desire. He positioned himself, grabbed her hips and thrust upward with a possessive growl, impaling her with his hard cock.
Tessa flung her head back, presenting her breasts for him to feast on. Rex shifted one hand to her back, pushing her breasts forward. He took one hard nipple in his mouth and sucked on its sweetness. The taste of her brought him to new heights of arousal. She ground into him, pressing their bodies closer together.
“Oh my… yes, Rex.” Only after Tessa cried out his name as she reached her climax, did he succumb to his own release.
She slumped against his chest, kissing his neck. “That…that was wonderful,” she said between labored breaths.
Rex stroked the hair off her face, kissing the top of her head. “I foresee many baths in our future.”
Tessa laughed against his chest. “And who will clean up all the water mess?”
“I will.”
Tessa raised her head off his chest and looked at him as if he’d grown two heads. He cupped her cheek and kissed her lips. “I will gladly clean the bathroom if it means doing this with you often.”
“Now those are words to swoon by.”
Chapter 18
Tessa handed Rex the last bag to be loaded in the car—a small bag of toys for Alec. “Don’t forget these.”
“That would not be good,” he said with a slight chuckle and shake of his head. “Alec is rather attached to his toys.”
Tessa couldn’t blame the little boy. His toys were probably the only things constant in his life right now.
Rex put the bag in the trunk and then closed it. He turned around and leaned against Bernie’s car, pulling Tessa into his arms. “Are you sure you don’t mind that I won’t be here for our first Th
anksgiving together?”
“No. It’s important for Alec to be with his mother as much as he can.”
The last couple of days with Rex had been amazing. They went for long walks—just the two of them, and snuck in quiet moments after Alec went to bed, before Rex had to go to work. He had kept his promise and didn’t push her to move back to Bernie’s. She still wasn’t ready to interact with Alec, but at least she could be in the same room as the little toddler.
“Thank you for being so understanding.”
“You’re welcome.” She kissed his chin. “And besides, it will be nice to have a quiet Thanksgiving this evening with Phoebe and Jillian before chaos sets in at the bookstore tomorrow.”
“Oh, I almost forgot.” Rex released Tessa and went to the driver’s side of the car and pulled out a gift-wrapped box.
“What’s the occasion?”
His smile broadened. “Just open it.”
Rex watched as she unwrapped the floral paper and took the top off the box. Through the tissue paper, she could see the edge of a frame.
Tessa’s hand trembled as she removed the frame from the tissue. “Oh my,” she murmured. She looked up into Rex’s loving gaze.
“I never you want you to forget your son.”
Besides her little Ryan, it was the most precious gift she’d ever received. “Where did you…” The lump in her throat strangled her words.
“Jillian helped me. She told me she packed up all the pictures for you after the accident, but she had this one of Ryan with his stuffed dog on her phone,” his tone had a degree of warmth and concern. “We went to the copy center yesterday while you were at work.”
Tessa brushed her hand across Ryan’s sweet little face. Tears blurred her vision. Putting his arm around her waist, Rex brought her in close. She buried her head in his firm chest, inhaling that spicy scent she always found intoxicating, and today, incredibly comforting.
“Thank you.”
He kissed the top of her head. “You’re welcome.”
“You okay?” Jillian asked as Tessa ambled into Phoebe’s sage green living room.
“Yeah, I think I am.” She hugged her friend. “Thank you for the picture.”
“It was all Rex’s idea. He really cares about you.”
Tessa was about to speak when Phoebe entered the living room and, with a dramatic bow, announced, “Thanksgiving dinner is served.”
Tessa knew Phoebe had a serious aversion to turkey but assumed she would make a ham with all the usual Thanksgiving trimmings. Was she ever wrong!
“Pizza?” The two-syllable word left her mouth in a wave of shock as she entered the dining room and saw the elaborate spread before her.
“Homemade pizza.” Phoebe stood at the table and with a feigned hoity-toity accent explained, “I have made three masterpieces for your gastronomic pleasure.” She pointed to each one as she explained. “The first is prosciutto, arugula, fresh buffalo mozzarella, and shaved parmesan cheese. Next we have a traditional Margarita pizza with Roma tomatoes, mozzarella, and fresh basil from my garden. And lastly, we have a Quattro formaggio with ricotta, mozzarella, Parmesan, and truffle cheese. And for dessert, I made cannoli and tiramisu. Oh, and we have several bottles of Pinot Noir and Chianti to accompany the meal.”
“At least you kept to a theme,” Tessa teased. “This is quite the Thanksgiving spread. Did you know she was going to do this, Jillian?”
“Yes. I had to run to the store a couple of times to pick up a few things Phoebe forgot.”
Phoebe’s laughter filled the room. “You can’t have pizza without wine, or cannoli without chocolate chips.”
“Or dough without yeast. Or Margarita pizza without tomatoes,” Jillian added with sass.
Tessa was laughing so hard, tears streamed down her face.
“Yeah, well, sometimes I get distracted. Let’s eat.” Phoebe said as she served the pizza while Jillian poured the wine.
The trio of friends ate and chatted about silly childhood memories and embarrassing teenager moments. By the time dessert was served, it truly felt as if they had all been the closest of friends their entire lives. Tessa used to say that she and Jillian were like two peas in a pod. After that evening, the pod grew a little bigger.
Phoebe poured more wine into each of their glasses. “Things seem to be going well with you and Rex.”
“I was wondering when that subject was going to come up.” Tessa took a sip of wine as she relaxed farther into the chair.
“Phoebe and I thought it would be a good idea to get a little wine in you before we peppered you with questions.”
“Ha, ha. I see my friends are ganging up on me,” Tessa jested. “Let’s get this over with. What have the two of you been plotting?”
Jillian and Phoebe eyed each other before Jillian started, “We all—”
“Who’s ‘we all’?”
“Well… Phoebe and I, Bernie, Nina, Dorothy, Mary—”
“So basically everyone?”
“Not everyone,” Phoebe added defensively. “We said nothing about this to Rex, or Ethan—the blabbermouth,” she murmured the last part under her breath with a smile.
“Before you get all worked up Tessa, just listen. We—all of us—think you should visit Natalia.”
“Wh…what?”
Jillian reached for Tessa’s hand. “You and I both know what you’re afraid of. No matter how good things are going between you and Rex, you will always fear Natalia taking Alec away. It will continue to gnaw at your happiness until you either face your fear or… I don’t know what, but it can’t be good.”
Phoebe continued where Jillian had ended. “I took Saturday off so I can drive you to Portland. Dorothy said between herself, Bernie, and Nina, they can cover the bookstore. Mary is watching Alec, and Rex is working.”
Tessa didn’t know whether to be angry that her friends had made all these arrangements behind her back or pleased that they cared so much.
“Just out of curiosity, why didn’t you tell Rex about your idea?” She’d kept plenty of her thoughts and ideas to herself when Jim was alive, mostly because she was afraid he would disapprove.
“Bernie came into the coffee shop yesterday to pick up some goodies for their drive to Portland. She’s the one who thought of it first and suggested we not tell Rex. He would want to drive you, introduce the two of you, and probably stay in the room while you visited. You need to do this on your own.”
“And besides, he already has so much on his mind,” Jillian added.
She understood their reasons, but really did not like the idea of keeping anything from Rex. “I don’t know.” Tessa could sense her hesitancy did not sit well with her friends. “Plus, I don’t want him to get angry with me.”
Jillian practically leapt from her chair. Her voice broke through Tessa’s hesitation. “Rex is not like Jim. He is not going to fly off the handle because you’re trying to get past your fears. He only wants what’s best for you, and right now, what’s best for you is to trust your friends.”
Jillian had never said anything negative about Jim, but she was right. It’s just like the genie costume. For years Tessa had cowered beneath what Jim wanted, what he thought was right. What did she want?
“I want to meet Natalia.”
Tessa felt guilty for not telling Rex what she was doing today, but her friends were right, this was something she needed to do on her own. This would be the last secret she kept from him. What happened today would determine tomorrow, and the rest of their lives.
Tessa hadn’t realized that she was twisting the fringe on her shawl until Phoebe pointed it out. “You’ve practically mangled that shawl. Are you okay?” her soft voice echoed in the quiet hospital corridor.
She released the tormented fringe from her fingers. “Yes, this is just… I never thought I would be doing this.”
“Do you want to turn back?”
“No.” Now that Tessa was here, she was prepared to face her fears.
Phoebe
offered an encouraging smile, then guided her down a side hall. “It’s the next door on the left. I’ll be waiting downstairs in the cafeteria.”
“Thank you.” Tessa hugged her friend, then sucked in her breath and went to the slightly ajar door.
Pulling out the gift she’d brought from her purse, she contemplated the next step. Tessa didn’t know whether to knock, peek inside, or just walk in. After contemplating for several seconds, she knocked, peeked her head inside, and then took one step into the hospital room.
Natalia was sitting up, completely awake, and quite beautiful, even in a hospital bed. The moment their eyes met, Tessa wondered if she had made a mistake in coming, but then the oddest thing happened; Natalia greeted her. “Hello, Tessa, I’m glad you came.”
Tessa was frozen in place. The words were still sinking in. “You… you are?”
“Yes. I was hoping to meet you before my surgery. In fact, Rex asked if I wouldn’t mind, but then my mother showed up.” Natalia let out a sad little laugh. “She can be a bit of a troublemaker at times, but in the end, she means well.”
“Thank you for sticking up for me that day.”
“I’m sorry you had to endure her wrath.” Natalia waved her hand toward the chair beside the bed. “Please have a seat.”
Tessa sat down on the edge of the chair, uncertain what to do or say next. “I brought you a book.” She handed the small offering to Natalia, hoping to break the ice. “It’s one of my favorites.”
“A Rose in Winter, by Kathleen Woodiwiss.” Natalia flipped the book over, glancing at the back cover. “I must confess, I’ve never read a romance novel before.”
It wasn’t the first time Tessa had heard that, but she hoped her gift would have favorable results. “Romance books have gotten me through some pretty horrible times.”
“You know, I was all prepared to hate you,” Natalia said in a calm voice, as if it were the most natural thing to say. Tessa blinked several times, dread and uneasiness weighing her down. But Natalia never skipped a beat, continuing to explain. “It was clear that you had Rex in a way I never did and never could.”
