Riding Hard (Hell Ryders MC Book 4)

by J. L. Sheppard

“Thanks.” She neared, stopped next to him, angled toward the counter, grabbed the mug, brought it to her lips, and took a sip. Looking into her coffee, steam hitting her face, she blurted, “Last night doesn’t change anything.”

  He turned his body to her. The heat of his eyes burned.

  She slanted her head and met his gaze. “You shouldn’t have let Cul see me either,” she whispered. “He’s going to think we’re together.”

  Eyes narrowing, he lifted a brow. “We aren’t together?”

  She shook her head. “No.”

  “So last night?”

  “Last night, I was…” She couldn’t admit it, how terrified she’d been, and so, she didn’t. “I made an unwise decision.”

  “I get you were scared. I get you were vulnerable. It’s why I didn’t fuck you when you were clearly giving me the vibe, Lex. You kissed me. You asked me to stay. You cuddled with me. You told me—”

  Her face flamed. She shut her eyes tightly, set her mug on the counter, and parted her lids. “I know. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done any of that. It’s just…”

  His jaw clamped tight.

  He had a right to be mad. He wanted her back, and she’d led him on.

  She swallowed. “I feel horrible. I shouldn’t have stayed, asked you to spend the night with me, hold you, or say what I did. Being terrified is not a good excuse, but—”

  He arched a brow. “So you lied?”

  She wanted to lie then, knew she should, but holding his piercing stare, she couldn’t.

  She shook her head. “I didn’t lie. Of course, I’ve missed you, but it doesn’t change what happened. It doesn’t change my decision.”

  He looked away. The muscle in his jaw twitched.

  “I really am sorry, especially because of Cul.”

  When his gaze met hers again, some of the anger had melted. “Told him the lock on your back door broke and it wasn’t safe, so you stayed the night.”

  She expelled a breath. “Oh, so he doesn’t think we’re—”

  He shrugged. “Don’t know. Suppose he’ll figure it out.”

  How he handled his son wasn’t her business, not anymore, but she cared, so she’d say what she had to. She hoped it wouldn’t anger him since it seemed he was handling their break up and the fact that she hadn’t changed her mind about them better, than her anyway.

  “Don’t you think you should talk to him about it? I don’t want him to think we’re together—”

  He smirked. “No point. When I get you back, I’ll have to explain shit to him again.”

  Her lips parted, eyes widened, and she whispered, “I told you I’m not—”

  “If you’re right, then you have no business telling me what to do with my kid.” He leaned in to her. A breath away, the proximity making her breath hitch. “But I think you’re wrong. That’s why I’m listening to you tell me what to do with my kid. That’s why I’m not gonna sit down with him and tell him we aren’t together ’cause when you get over this shit fight, you’ll be mine again and I’ll have to sit down with him and explain shit again. No point in getting him involved in our tiffs.”

  Her breaths coming out in spurts, she shook her head. “This isn’t a tiff. We’re broken up.”

  He cocked his head. “Lex, you got a wild hair about that now, but you’re lying to yourself. Last night proved it. You came to me. I mean something to you, much more than you’re willing to admit.”

  Her eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets.

  He was so right and so wrong. He meant something to her, but she couldn’t take him back, not after what he’d done.

  She shook her head. “I didn’t go to you. You came to me.”

  “I saw the cops outside. I went to you. I told them you’re mine, and you didn’t deny it. Then you touched me. Then you let me hold you. Then you stayed over. Then you kissed me. Then you asked me to sleep beside you. Then you told me—”

  God, she was starting to hate admitting he was right, even to herself. She had no excuse except the fact that she’d been scared and weak and hadn’t wanted to be alone. No, that was a lie. It’s not that she hadn’t wanted to be alone; it’s that she wanted to be with him.

  She planted a hand on her hip. “You’re infuriating.”

  He had the gall to smirk. Moving away slightly, he took a sip of his coffee. “So you’re gonna hang with Cul here tonight?”

  Hadn’t he just heard a word she said?

  She kept her cool but raised a brow in question. “Why would I do that?”

  “You got someone to fix your back door and install an alarm already?”

  Damn it. She forgot about that. His fault.

  She grabbed her mug and took a sip of coffee before she responded. “No, I’ll have to stay in a hotel for the time being.”

  “There aren’t any hotels in town, Lex. You’d be driving to Santa Rosa about half an hour away. That’s gas money and whatever the hotel costs. Spending that is dipping into your pink bathroom fund.”

  She knew this, but… “I don’t have another choice.”

  She wouldn’t impose on the lives of her new friends and staying with Dodge was out of the question. She trusted him not to take advantage but didn’t trust herself.

  “Yeah, you do. I’ll fix your door. I’ll have a brother install an alarm. Tomorrow, it’ll be ready. You can stay here until then. You stay in my room, and I’ll take the couch.”

  Nice, sweet even.

  She shook her head. “I can’t.”

  He shrugged. “Okay. Spend your money.”

  For a man who claimed he would get her back, he gave up too easily. Why did that make her want to ball her eyes out?

  She took a deep breath. “I have to go.”

  “No makeup today?”

  He noticed. No surprise there. When she wore it, he told her she didn’t need it. She missed that. She missed a lot more too.

  She swallowed. “I left it at home. I have to go get it.”

  He placed his coffee on the counter. “I’ll go with you.”

  “I can—”

  His eyes narrowed. “Back door stayed broken all night, Lex. You wanna go in there alone, that’s great, but I’m not letting you, so make it easy for the both of us, yeah?”

  She forgot about that too but wouldn’t let him know.

  He and Cullen walked her across the street. He grabbed her keys, unlocked her door, and proceeded to check her house while she and Cullen waited on her porch. When he gave her the go-ahead, she went in, grabbed her makeup, and strode outside. Then he locked the door and handed her the keys. She kissed Cullen goodbye, thanked Dodge, and drove away without looking back.

  ****

  Hands shaking, pulse spiking, Lex gritted her teeth. “What’re you doing here?”

  She meant to go on, tell him to take a hike, but she caught sight of Cullen sprinting toward her, so she shut her mouth and softened her expression.

  Dodge, saved from her wrath by his son, grinned.

  That morning only a half hour after arriving at school, Lex realized she should’ve packed a bag, saving her the trouble of going home before heading to a hotel for the night. During lunch, she’d been busy. She scheduled a repairman to fix her door the following morning and booked a room. After school, she drove home to pack a bag. Imagine her surprise finding several bikes on her drive and her door wide open.

  Dodge. It had to be. Then she remembered he’d locked her door that morning.

  Parking behind the series of bikes, she removed her keys from the ignition and checked. Her house key was gone.

  Incredible! She hopped out of her car in a haze just as he stepped out of her house. Barely containing her fury, she closed the distance between them and asked what he was doing there. Almost as if he planned it, Cullen rushed her, crashed in to her, and wrapped his arms around her.

  Schooling her temper, she snaked her arms around Cullen.

  He looked up at her. A smudge of dirt on his cheek, a wide smile on his beautifully f
lushed face. “Lex.”

  The tension lining her body melted. She ran her hand through his thick, dark hair and smiled. “Hey, sweetheart. Did you have a good day?”

  He nodded.

  “Head on in. I’ll be inside in just a second to get you a snack.”

  She followed Cullen with her gaze. She then sliced it to Dodge, wearing that same grin.

  The gall!

  She narrowed her eyes. “You are unbelievable. I can’t believe you stole my key. I can’t believe you—”

  He lifted his hands. “Shh, Lex, babe, you should be thanking me.”

  Shushing her!

  Her face flamed. “You have ten seconds to get out of my house and off my property before I call the police.”

  Thick dark brows drawing together, he reared back and wiped the smile off his face. “Come on, babe, you don’t mean that.”

  She did, very, very much. To prove it, she pulled her phone out of her purse and began dialing.

  He snatched it away. “Listen. I took your key, yeah, but I did it to fix your door so you wouldn’t have to stay at a hotel.”

  Thoughtful, but it didn’t make what he did right or legal.

  She fisted her hands. “So you fixed my door, is that supposed to make breaking into my house okay?”

  “I didn’t break in. I used your key.”

  She took a step toward him. “A key you stole.”

  “I borrowed it. I didn’t steal it. I was gonna give it back.”

  “Taking without permission is stealing.”

  He clenched his jaw.

  Getting angry? Good. She was livid.

  He released a heavy breath and with just that, the anger faded. He extended his hand, handing her her phone. “All right, Lex. You wanna call the cops, get me arrested ’cause I took your key to save you the trouble of staying at a hotel, spending money, and ’cause I wanted to make you safe, whatever. Do it.”

  Why didn’t he understand? It was wrong, a violation of her privacy, and illegal.

  “Just so you know, I could’ve gotten into your house through that broken back door and didn’t do it ’cause I didn’t wanna fuck up anything in those boxes or your couch.”

  Oh God. Oh God!

  “I had to do it again, I would ’cause I gotta keep you safe. It’s my job to keep my woman safe.”

  Hadn’t they just had this conversation? If she were a cartoon, this is when her head would explode.

  Instead, she snatched her phone from his hand. “I’m not your anything!” Her voice rose, sounding hysterical and sort of panicked.

  “Lex, it was just a fight. My fault. I apologized. I gave you space. Now, you gotta let it go.”

  She fisted her hands, the one around her phone squeezing it, and let out an irritated sigh. “Give. Me. My. Key. Then get off my property.”

  A howl of laughter erupted. Snapping her stare behind Dodge, she spotted Hash and Army. The heat on her face trailed down her neck and chest. She dropped her head and swallowed as the memory of the last time she’d seen them resurfaced, the day Dodge humiliated her.

  “Told you this shit wouldn’t work.” Army chuckled. “Women get pissy about their privacy, brother.”

  She angled her head, looking their way, and bit her tongue so she wouldn’t point out that men got “pissy” about their privacy too.

  Dodge, looking over his shoulder, sniped, “What the fuck would you know, Army?”

  “I got a sister.”

  Hash smirked. “’Sides it doesn’t take a genius.”

  A muscle in Dodge’s jaw twitched as he took a step toward them.

  Hash laughed. “Don’t get pissed ’cause we’re right. Told you this wasn’t the way to get on your woman’s good graces.”

  “I didn’t ask for your fuckin’ advice,” Dodge snarled.

  “Maybe you should’ve…” Hash’s voice trailed off when Army stepped in front of Hash and said something she didn’t hear, thankfully, since it defused the tension between Dodge and Hash. The last thing she needed on the day her ex stole her key and broke into her house—her ex fighting with one of his friends on her front porch.

  Taking her chance to get away, she sidestepped past Dodge and managed two steps before he grabbed her upper arm and came close to her back. She felt the heat of him then stupidly took a breath and smelled the cologne he always wore, a scent she loved because it reminded her of him.

  “We gotta talk.”

  She spun toward him, the suddenness making him release her. “You wanted to do something for me, so you steal my key, break into my house, get your friends, the same ones you humiliated me in front of barely two weeks ago, to help you? Classic.”

  She paused for a moment letting that sink. “I’ve said what I needed to say, Dodge. There’s nothing else for me to say, and there’s nothing else I want to hear from you, not even a goodbye.”

  He dropped his head and released a sigh. After an endless moment, he met her gaze. “You wanna throw that in my face now?” He arched a brow. “You sure? Take a good look at what you’re doing, Lex, in front of my brothers and the whole fuckin’ neighborhood.”

  It wasn’t the same, yet it kind of was. She’d seen the bikes, knew his brothers were inside. Her neighbors were milling around, per usual, watching their kids play, taking out the trash, getting their mail, or just getting home from work. She wasn’t being loud, in fact, quite the opposite. Since Cullen was inside, she’d kept her voice low. She hadn’t insulted him or disrespected him, but it was clear to anyone who cared to look she was angry with him. She meant to point all of this out, but before she managed to, he spoke.

  “Don’t worry. We’ll be outta your hair in no time.”

  He turned, took three steps then stopped and faced her. “You think I humiliated you, but the truth is I humiliated myself. Everyone knew I was outta line. Everyone knew you didn’t deserve the shit I dished out. Everyone knows I’m eating my words now and trying my goddamned hardest to get you back.” With those last words, he spun and walked away.

  She stood there staring at where he’d been trying to forget the last bit of what he’d said. Then she headed inside, ate some cookies with Cullen, and read to him.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  The sound jolted Lex awake. Continuous, loud, smashing like she was inside a glass jar being beaten with a crowbar. It went on for what seemed like forever.

  She shot up in bed, clutched her blanket to her chest, and stayed frozen long after the sounds died.

  Then loud banging.

  She moved knowing she’d stalled long enough and couldn’t waste more time. First, she had to call police and manage to do it before whoever was pounding on her door knocked it down.

  Shame that at that moment, for the life of her, she couldn’t remember where she left her cell phone. Checking her nightstand, she spotted it, picked it up, and dialed 9-1-1.

  She spoke to the operator giving her the address, telling her what happened, mentioning someone was at her door, banging. After she managed that, the pounding still hadn’t stopped. The operator advised her to stay in her room and keep her on the line.

  Heart slamming hard against her ribs, hands trembling, it went quiet.

  “Lex! Lex!”

  Dodge. She closed her eyes tightly as the breath rushed out of her.

  “It’s… It’s my…neighbor.”

  “Where?” the 9-1-1 operator asked.

  “At the door.”

  “Ma’am, stay in your room. Wait for police.”

  The operator could say that since she didn’t know Dodge. He’d knock her door down. Besides, it was Dodge—Dodge who broke into her house, recruited his brothers to help install a hurricane-proof sliding glass door and then refused to take money for it, the same man who showed on her doorstep the day after insisting one of his brothers install an alarm system in her house. She had to open the door, not just because of those reasons but because she needed him right then.

  Lex stood on shaking legs, walked out of her
room, into her living room, and to her door.

  “Lex! Lex!” His voice thicker, rougher, and louder.

  “Ma’am, do not open the door. Stay away from your door.”

  She parted the door.

  What a sight. His long body filled the doorframe, in the shadows his hair a mess. All she took in before, fortunately, his arms went around her, and he hauled her to him. Her cheek landed on his bare chest. He buried his face in her neck, and as his ragged breaths warmed her skin, his hands moved over her head, shoulders, arms then back.

  “Lex, fuck me, Lex.” He cupped her cheeks and tugged her away just enough to meet her face. “Baby, you okay?”

  Terror. His. She read it on his too handsome face. So much of it, it was comparable to hers.

  Seeing that—all it took.

  Sobs tore from her throat, the strength of them making her body tremble.

  The fear had built for days knowing it was only a matter of time before whoever was terrorizing her did it again, only a matter of time because the calls hadn’t stopped. In fact, they were now incessant, five calls a day. She didn’t answer, but a message was left, a message of someone’s breaths like something out of a horror movie.

  He wound his arms around her, one hand dove into her hair holding her firm against him. “Shh, Lex, babe. It’s gonna be fine. You’re safe. I’m gonna keep you safe.”

  He said it like he meant it.

  He held her like he wouldn’t let her go.

  She needed that, so she took it, not thinking about the consequences and refusing to acknowledge she wanted no one but him.

  He buried his face against the top of her head. “Shh, baby, I’m here.”

  “Don’t…go…p-please…” Her plea so muffled she didn’t know if he understood.

  His hands came to her face again, pulling her away slightly. “Gotta calm down, Lex. Gotta talk to the cops.”

  Police officers were there already?

  She took a breath and wiped her face.

  He looked over his shoulder. “Just a sec.” He met her gaze. “Get your robe.”

  Yes, she needed her robe.

  He walked her into her house. One arm stayed behind her holding her close to his side. In her room, he released her. She grabbed her robe, donned it, stepped into a pair of flip flops, and together, they strode out of her house.