“No, I wouldn’t have.”
“Well, then you just answered your own question.”
She studied his handsome face. The man hid a secret behind his glib answers. “Please, be honest with me. Why now? Why me?” She sat back in her chair, gazing at clear blue water in the pool instead of his disturbing eyes.
“I’m lonely. I need more. All my life, my work came first at the expense of everything else. Where did that sacrifice get me? Four years ago I lost everything I’d worked so hard for. I lost my life’s passion, my music. I lost the very essence of who I thought I was. Do you have any idea how that feels? My life went downhill from there. When Ed approached me to go into business with him—my money or what was left of it, of course, his sales skills—I did it against my better judgement. In some ways, I guess it was good. I’ve spent four years keeping him honest, out of the poorhouse or prison, and putting out his fires. He kept me occupied.” Rico searched her eyes, and she looked away before he read her thoughts. “You taught me to appreciate the little things again. Nature, a smile, birds singing, stuff like that. Am I making any sense?”
“A little.”
“You made me see my worth as a person, not as a celebrity or as an image created by my management. When I was with you, you made me feel good inside, like a worthy person. With you I was me, not the person everyone else expected me to be.”
Mariah’s eyes filled with tears. His heartfelt confession touched her deep down inside.
Rico swallowed and cleared his throat then continued. “I’m adjusting my priorities. I...I held....”
For a moment, Mariah thought he was going to cry.
“When I held Carmen and Max’s baby for the first time, it hit me. This is what it’s all about. This is what’s missing. I want a life, Rye, and a family. I want simple, everyday things. I want to wake up next to the same woman every morning. I want to watch my children grow up. I want to go to soccer games and PTA meetings. I want a normal life.”
“What are you saying?” Her heart caught in her throat. Oh God, he about to profess his love to her. She forced her lungs to take in air. He was going to make her dreams come true and end her loneliness forever. He loved her. She knew it. She just knew it. She licked her lips with anticipation and tried not to look too anxious. She’d accept his declaration graciously and pledge her love to him. Together they could do anything.
“Mariah, my life has been such a mess for so long. When I’m with you, I forget about the bad things.” He stopped for a moment as if to compose his thoughts. Mariah squeezed his hand, smiling up at him with devotion. However long it took for him to articulate his feelings, she’d wait.
“For four years I worked in a job I didn’t like and ran interference for my dad. Six months ago Ed bought Insignia with my money. I think he thought it would fill the empty spot inside me. I love running that business, but it isn’t enough. I’ve been writing songs again. I always thought if I had my music back that would be enough. It isn’t. In fact, all I seem to be able to write are sad songs, which is better than nothing. But when I held that baby in my arms, I saw my future. I need something for me. I need you. You need me.”
“I do?”
“Of course, you do. You love me. We’re a great team.”
“A great team? Is that it?” “Look, Rye, I’ll be honest with you. You aren’t going to like this.”
She tensed, not expecting his words at all.
“Promise me you’ll give yourself some time to think about this and consider my offer.
“Offer? You make this sound like some kind of business deal.” The word ‘offer’ didn’t belong in a pronouncement of love.
“Well, it is. In a way.” Rico refused to meet her gaze. “Please, just hear me out.”
“Okay.” Something went dead inside her. The cold fingers of fear tightened around her throat. Just say you love me, Rico. Make the pain of the last six months worth it.
“I know you need money, or you’ll lose that farm.”
“What? Who told you that?” She bristled. Someone was in deep, deep trouble. When she found out who spilled it, she’d—
“Look, it doesn’t matter how I found out. I’ll pay all your debts, including the farm. Things are looking up financially for me. In a few years, we’ll never have to worry about money again.”
“I don’t need your money.” Her throat tightened as if someone was strangling the life out of her. Maybe they were.
“I think you do. I know about your shopping addiction, your debts, how your parents left their money to charities.”
“I didn’t want their money, and I don’t want yours. I can take care of myself.”
“Look, you promised you’d hear me out. Just be quiet. Let me explain.” Rico ran his fingers through his hair and rubbed his eyes.
Mariah took a deep breath in an attempt to summon some kind of inner calm. It didn’t work. Confused and hurt, she stared at him.
“Rye, I know what I’m missing in my life. I’m on the verge of making some big changes. I want to write more songs and make Insignia one of the best small recording companies in the country. I don’t care if I ever sing publicly again, but I want my songs to be sung to the world.”
“I’m not sure where I fit in here.”
“I want a companion, a lover, a friend.”
“Companion?” The word caught in her throat like bad medicine.
“And someday soon, I hope, I...I...want to have children.” He spoke quickly, stumbling over the words in his rush to get them out of his mouth.
“Children?” Mariah put her hands over her mouth in horror. Little ones? Rugrats? Crying all night long? Dirty diapers? Drool on her Christian Dior silk blouse? Babies? “You don’t expect me to be the mother?”
He grinned engagingly. “Yeah, you’d be a great mother.”
“You’re nuts! I’d make a lousy mother. I’m a princess. Remember? I like my clothes, my comforts, my life. Can you imagine how comfortable I’d be riding a horse or dancing at eight-months pregnant? Do you realize how hard I work NOT to be fat?”
Rico sighed in exasperation. “Look, Rye, it’s a simple deal. Move in with me. You’ll never have another financial worry in your life. We both win. It may not be for love, but we enjoy each other’s company. The sex is incredible. You’re my best choice.”
Not for love? The words tore through her heart like a dull knife through a tomato and leaving as big of a mess. “The best choice? In other words, I’m not Carmen.” She didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, or rage at him and throw things. Raging and throwing sounded like the most personally satisfying plan. The best choice? How about the best thing that ever happened to him? She’d never ask for another Armani dress if he’d just say those words to her.
“Look, I didn’t mean it that way. It came out wrong. Let’s keep Carmen out of this. She’ll always hold a special place in my heart. That doesn’t mean we can’t do well together. In fact, better than most couples. After all, we’re going into this with our eyes open. Not blinded by some overrated, overused emotion like love. I’m talking about something long-term here. I don’t want my children to be raised by a string of stepmothers. I want them to have parents that stay together and raise them together.” He paused as if to emphasize his next words. “Besides, I’m very fond of you.”
“Fond of me? You’re FOND of me?” His words grated on her like fingernails on a chalkboard. This couldn’t be happening.
“Well, yeah. Real fond.” He watched her with a wary expression, as if he expected her to implode in front of his eyes. She seriously considered it.
“You want me to have your children, but not your love? What about marriage? Is that part of this offer?” Mariah’s head reeled. She hadn’t seen this coming at all. The romantic side of her expected him to pledge his undying love, to tell her he couldn’t live without her. Instead, he picked her because he had something she needed badly enough she might agree to his crazy plan. Did he really think she was that pathetic?
God, maybe she was.
“Uh, marriage?” He stumbled over the word as if it was a forbidden obscenity. “I knew this would come up.” He rose to his feet and crossed to her side of the table. He held out his hand to her. “Let’s take a little walk in the garden.”
Reluctantly, she took his hand. A weary sadness invaded her soul, draining the anger, leaving her barren and empty. She should be calling a cab and walking out his door. The nerve of him to suggest such an outrageous proposition. She didn’t even like kids. She should give him a piece of her mind. Instead, she held his hand and walked beside him along the winding path. Stupid, silly, lovesick woman. She couldn’t cave into his wishes. She wasn’t that desperate to have him that she’d take him any way she could get him.
Then the clever devil switched tactics on her. He stopped, pulled her into his arms and kissed her thoroughly. She kissed him back, welcoming his lips on hers. Her sanity rolled out to sea with the surf. When he finally dragged his mouth away, he took her common sense with it. It wouldn’t hurt to consider his offer. He’d take care of her forever. She’d never need another thing. But love. What about love? Well, women married every day for less than he offered her. She could make him love her in time.
“Would this be so bad, baby? To have this and more every day? To feel my naked body moving against yours in the middle of the night whenever we desired it?” He stroked her hair and nibbled her neck, running his hands down her back and squeezing her butt.
No, it wouldn’t be bad, in fact, it would be pure heaven. Except for one thing.
He put his hand on either side of her face and looked deeply into her eyes. “I’ll take you to Paris, Milan, the big fashion shows. I’ll buy you all the designer clothes you can imagine.”
“I have a good imagination.”
“We’ll hire the best nannies.”
“My children won’t be raised by a nanny.”
“Ah ha!” he declared triumphantly, “so you’re considering it.”
“I never said that. It’s crazy. I mean really crazy.”
“That camp on your island property?”
“Yes?” She eyed him warily. He was bringing out the big guns, she could tell by the crafty shine in his eyes.
“I’ll make sure they have everything. They’ll never have to worry about losing their lease again. And,” he announced with a twinkle in his eye, “I’ll take you to Germany and buy you a stable full of dressage horses.”
Oh, that was a clever move. Get her where she was most vulnerable. Prey on her sense of decency and obligation, then throw in horses, her other expensive bad habit.
“You’re really serious about this, aren’t you?”
“Sí, deadly serious. I know you don’t have much time. I don’t either. It’ll take awhile to convert some of my assets to come up with the required cash.”
“I...I need to think.” With a start, she realized how cleverly he’d skirted her marriage question. Perhaps, marriage wasn’t part of his deal.
“Certainly. I understand.”
“Can we just forget about it until I’m ready to leave? I just want to enjoy the few days we have left.”
He was right about one thing, what he proposed to her was a surprise.
A big fat one.
Chapter 20—The Changes
Mariah stirred in Rico’s arms and rubbed her cheek on his chest. Tomorrow morning she flew home, yet nothing had been settled. She knew he was awake, but she didn’t want to talk to him just yet. One of his large hands absently rubbed her back. The other rested on her hip.
Rico shifted slightly. Mariah kept her eyes squeezed shut. Guilt overrode the good feelings. She’d snuck out to lunch with Ramon yesterday. Being deceptive didn’t come easily to her. Not only had she gone against Rico’s wishes, but she’d done it behind his back.
Ramon was a friend, nothing more. She’d defend her right to pick her own friends. Of course, sneaking around wasn’t going to help matters any. Yet, Rico didn’t have a claim on her, but that didn’t make her feel any better.
Ramon flattered her outrageously and entertained her with his charm and wit. He made her feel good about herself. He was harmless, at least to her. Unfortunately, she didn’t think Rico would see it that way.
Mariah lifted her head to gaze at him. His eyes were open and focused on her. She wondered how long he’d been lying there in silence, just watching her. He smiled one of his seductive, lopsided smiles. She breathed a heavy sigh of shamed relief. He didn’t know about Ramon.
“Do you know what is one of the sexiest things in the world, Mariah?” Rico mused as he combed his fingers through her hair.
“What?” His chest hair tickled her cheek. She ran her hands down his side and traced each rib.
“The feel of your hair draped across my chest, like silk.”
“Really? Wouldn’t you prefer the feel of my hair somewhere else?”
Rico laughed. “Oh, baby. Yeah, I love that, too. I’ve corrupted you.” He seemed pleased with himself.
“Don’t you want me to be corrupted?” She turned her head slightly so her chin rested on his chest and she could see his eyes.
“Oh, yeah, but only with me.” A slow smile crossed his handsome features. He pulled her closer and held her to him, stroking her back and hips with his fingers. He was silent for a long time. She sensed something was on his mind, but he didn’'t know how to say it.
“What are you thinking?” she finally asked when she couldn’t stand the silence anymore.
“About the future. Where I want my life to go from here.”
“That’s pretty heavy stuff for the middle of the night.” Mariah attempted to lighten his mood. She felt his chest vibrate as he chuckled in response.
“You don’t wonder about your future?”
“I’m afraid to look beyond today, Rico.”
“Did I do that to you, Mariah?” he asked with a twinge of guilt in his voice.
“Maybe” Mariah buried her face in his chest. She choked and fought back the tears. He’d struck a nerve and uncovered her greatest insecurity.
“I don’t plan on going anywhere, Rye. I’m right where I want to be. Have you given any more consideration to my offer?”
“I don’t know what to say.” She avoided Rico’s eyes. She didn’t want him to see her uncertainty.
“Mariah, I look forward to waking up with you beside me. It’s strange how quickly you can get used to something like that. When I reach for you in the middle of the night, I want to find you here.”
“Well, Rico, I’m sure you can find a woman that would be glad to fix that for you.”
“What about you, Mariah? Would you be glad to fix that for me?” Even though his voice was teasing, she could hear the serious undertones to it.
Mariah felt his eyes on her. “Rico, I....” She didn’t know how to answer him. Her teary eyes were drawn to his.
“Oh, hell, Mariah. Sometimes I just don’t understand women. I thought you’d want to hear that,” he grumbled. He held her tighter. “I can’t bear to see you cry. Come on, sweetheart, it’s all going to be okay. I want you, Mariah. I want you bad. Man, I want to make love to you all night until I’m so exhausted, I can’t move.”
“I want you, too, Rico. I want you so much, it scares me.” She hated to make that admission, but she owed him her honesty, especially considering her deception concerning Ramon.
Rico buried his face in her hair, a low moan coming from his throat. “I not only want you, Mariah—I need you. It’s been a long time since I’ve needed a woman like I need you. It really irritated me when you danced with Ramon, and I haven’t been jealous of another guy in a long time.”
Now was the time, the perfect lead-in to admit to her sins.
“Rico, about Ramon....”
“No, Mariah, I don’t want to hear about Ramon. You’re not to go near my brother. I don’t trust him where you’re concerned.” His body tensed and his expression became unyielding and stubborn, lea
ving no room for discussion.
“Do you trust me?” Mariah asked in a small voice.
“Yes, I trust you.” Tunneling his hand under her hair, he kissed her forehead. “Just do me this one favor, Mariah. It’s all I ask. Stay away from him.” His voice was tight, as if he was trying not to be angry.
Mariah said nothing. She felt sick to her stomach. Her guilty conscience weighed on her like a 500-pound lead ball. The next time Ramon called she’d tell him not to call again. The silence fell between them, leaving more questions unanswered than answered. They had to talk about his proposal, yet neither of them was in the mood to broach the subject.
He pulled his head back to regard her with undisguised desire. “What are you doing to me, Mariah?”
“The same thing you’re doing to me. I’ve done things with you I’ve never even thought about doing. I can’t stop myself. I don’t want to stop. I want to feel your skin against mine, the heat of your muscular body, and your gentle strength. I want to fall asleep in your arms. I don’t want to be lonely anymore either.”
She touched his face gently, tracing a finger along the strong, clean, chiseled lines. Rico caught her hand in his and kissed her palm.
“That’s not such a bad thing, is it? I mean I’m a nice guy. I’m responsible, I try to treat people how I want to be treated, I make a good living. I give back a little of what I’ve been lucky enough to get. I’m a hard worker.”
“Are you applying for a job?”
“I want a family, babies, a lover and a friend. I’ll give you everything, Mariah. Everything you’ve ever dreamed of.”
But love, Rico. What about love? She forced herself to smile, attempting to lighten the serious mood and play along for now. “I suppose I could be convinced to strike a deal with you—if you’re good enough.” She’d find a way to make him love her. She had to.
“Or if I’m bad enough?” Rico’s mouth turned up in a cocky grin.
“Really? How bad can you be?” She rubbed against him.
“As bad as you want me to be.” He brushed his lips against Mariah’s. “You surprise me every time I’m with you. You drive me crazy. You beat my drums, strum my strings, blow my horn. I can’t get enough of you, woman, especially the horn blowing part. Just look at me in that special way you have, and I’d do anything for you.”
Save the Last Dance Page 26
