Christmas in Silver Springs

by Brenda Novak

  He started to pull away but she caught his face and rose up on tiptoe to kiss him. Then he was lost all over again, especially because he got the impression that what they were doing meant something to her—in spite of all the reasons it shouldn’t.

  He tried to tell himself that was simply what he wanted to believe, or it was hormones playing tricks on him. They didn’t know each other well enough for this to have any real meaning. She was still in love with her ex-husband, who happened to be a rock star—someone he could never compete with.

  But he was surprised by how sincere she seemed to be. There was nothing mechanical about the way she touched him, nothing that led him to believe she was using him as a stand-in. And that turned out to be such a powerful aphrodisiac that even though he felt terrible for not revealing the kind of man he was, he couldn’t bring himself to pull away.

  He did the opposite. He held her hands over her head and reached for the hem of her sweatshirt.

  He caught his breath as he yanked it off and tossed it somewhere on his bedroom floor. “Oh, God,” he whispered as he looked down at her.

  “Tobias?”

  He forced himself to lift his gaze. “What?”

  She blushed. “You’re staring.”

  “Could any man see you without a shirt and not stare?”

  She laughed as she brought his hand to her breast, and he closed his eyes, savoring the feel of her soft flesh as it filled his palm. That was when everything started to move much faster. Once again, she dragged his mouth to hers. And then he couldn’t think anymore, couldn’t even consider resisting.

  The rest of their clothes came off, one article after another. Somehow, he managed to get a condom from his nightstand and roll it on. Her nails scraped down his back, right on that delicious border between pleasure and pain, and she locked her legs around his hips, groaning as she took him inside her.

  For a moment, Tobias was afraid it would all be over too soon. He grappled with control as they fell onto the mattress, kissing and touching and straining to explore every inch of each other.

  They rolled around for several minutes during which he kissed her neck, her breasts—anything he could reach—before she ended up on top. He loved the sight of her straddling him so much he was pretty sure it was his idea. But it might’ve been hers. As everything intensified, he’d lost track of who was instigating what. He just knew he’d never been this drunk on desire.

  Her gaze locked with his as she began to move, very slowly, almost experimentally at first, and then with more intent.

  “That’s it,” he said when he could tell how much she was enjoying herself. “How does it feel?”

  “It’s good,” she replied breathlessly. “Better than good.” She began to rock harder and faster.

  “Let go,” he said. “Don’t hold back.”

  Her eyes slid closed. “You’re perfect at this,” she told him.

  He put his hands on her thighs to guide and support her so she wouldn’t tire too quickly—and felt his pulse go crazy when she threw her head back and began to ride him in earnest.

  “You’ve got it,” he said, mesmerized by the emotions playing out on her face.

  She moaned in response, and her gasps grew in frequency and volume as she drew closer to climax.

  “Yes. You’re almost there.” Tobias had to let go of her thighs and start clinging to the bedding. He was using every mind trick he knew not to ruin this for her—and was infinitely relieved when the sounds she made changed from what he would interpret as so close to hell, yes!

  He’d made it. But he didn’t have time to savor the victory. He could feel his muscles contract as his own climax rose inside him and rolled through the rest of his body—all the more powerful because he’d struggled to hold on for so long.

  When it was over, she stayed where she was, staring down at him as they both caught their breath.

  “Wow,” she said when she was ready to speak. “That might’ve been the best orgasm I’ve ever had.”

  Flattered even though he wasn’t sure he had a right to take all the credit, he smiled. “It’s been a tough few months, so it’s no wonder. You were due.”

  “It wasn’t just that,” she said. “It was you.”

  He reached up to pull her down beside him, but something off to the side must’ve caught her eye because a look of surprise came over her face—and then a look of horror.

  “What is it?” he asked.

  She scrambled off the bed, nearly tripping on the blankets.

  “Harper?”

  She didn’t respond. With a desperate, strangled sound, she grabbed her phone from where it must’ve fallen out of the pocket of her sweats when she kicked them off and quickly tapped on the screen.

  Completely confused, Tobias rose up on his elbows as she sank onto the bed. “What’s happened?”

  Tears rolled down her cheeks as she turned the front of her phone so that he could see her call record.

  It took him a moment to realize what she was showing him, but then it became obvious. She’d just ended a call to Axel.

  Feeling some of the horror she obviously felt, Tobias’s chest constricted. “Don’t tell me we somehow pocket-dialed Axel when we took off your pants...”

  She cringed as though she couldn’t bear to hear the words spoken aloud but nodded.

  Tobias sat up. “Do you think he... Do you think he actually picked up?”

  “Let’s hope the whole thing isn’t on his voice mail!” she cried.

  A recording would be worse. “How long was the call?”

  She held the phone out again, so that Tobias could check for himself. His heart sank when he saw it had lasted nearly fifteen minutes. “Oh shit. Maybe he didn’t realize what was happening.”

  “I said it was the best orgasm I’ve ever had!”

  Pressing a palm to his forehead, he fell back onto the pillows. “I’m sorry. Especially if I was the one who accidentally hit the call button.”

  “I took off my own pants. It was probably me.” She dashed a hand across her cheeks. “I was a fool to think... Never mind. Will you take me home? Please?”

  Tobias felt as though he’d just been kicked in the stomach. And if he felt that bad, she had to feel worse. He didn’t want such a fabulous encounter to end this way. He was tempted to try to talk her out of leaving, to console her somehow, but he didn’t feel it was fair to push her into staying any longer than she wanted to—especially because she didn’t really know who he was.

  “Of course,” he said softly and got out of bed to dress.

  9

  Harper couldn’t even look at Tobias. What she’d done was just more proof of how badly she was unraveling. She should’ve told her sister what she was up to when they talked on the phone. Karoline would’ve put a quick stop to it. Karoline didn’t make mistakes, not like this.

  While they were driving, Harper could feel Tobias glance over at her every few minutes. Although he didn’t say anything, he had to be wondering if she’d lost her mind. This morning, she’d been so aggressive—and now she was so cold.

  But she didn’t know what she wanted. She was just looking for some way to anesthetize herself, to escape the crushing heartbreak Axel’s defection had caused. He’d thrown her for such a loop she couldn’t seem to recover. But now she’d involved someone else in her misery, and that wasn’t fair.

  “I’m sorry,” she mumbled as Tobias came to a stop down the street from her sister’s house so the neighbors wouldn’t see her getting out of his truck.

  Obviously being careful not to touch her in any suggestive way, he reached across her lap to open the door. “You don’t have anything to apologize for.”

  A cool gust of air swept into the cab. The rain had stopped, but the wind was back. “Yes, I do. My head is...is not where it should be. With the way I’ve been acting, it�
�s kind of scary that I’m the mother of two children, right?” She laughed as though she was making a joke, but he didn’t so much as crack a smile. He slung one arm over the steering wheel while he studied her, and it was difficult not to think of him lying beneath her. Those memories were so fresh.

  “That’s not how I look at it,” he said.

  She’d been planning to leave it at an apology, but this took her by surprise. “How do you look at it?”

  “I’m sure you’re a fine mother. You’re just going through a hard time.”

  “My divorce doesn’t give me the excuse to behave the way I’m behaving, Tobias. I didn’t mean to...to negatively impact your life. I should’ve left you alone. You tried to tell me.”

  It was noon, but they both looked as though they’d just got out of bed—because they had. As soon as she’d made it clear that she wanted to go home, they’d pulled on their clothes and he’d grabbed his keys and followed her out to his truck.

  “I don’t regret what we did today, Harper,” he said matter-of-factly.

  She drew a deep breath. “That helps. Thank you,” she said and stepped out and closed the door. She couldn’t bear to look at his handsome face any longer—and she definitely didn’t want to think about the rest of him.

  As she hurried away, she guessed he was watching her, because it wasn’t until she neared her sister’s yard that she heard his engine rev, indicating he was pulling away.

  She stopped to watch his tailgate disappear around the corner, and then, inexplicably, started crying again. She hated the way their morning had ended. Even worse than that, her phone kept vibrating in her pocket, and she was afraid to get it out and look at it. It had to be Axel. No doubt he was mad as hell. It was one thing to sleep with another guy. She supposed, since they were essentially divorced, she had that right. But inviting Axel into the bedroom while she did? That was something else entirely.

  She groaned at the memory of seeing her phone lit up on the floor of Tobias’s bedroom, alerting her to the fact that she’d somehow placed a call.

  “I’m such an idiot,” she muttered as she passed the decorations in the yard and let herself in through the front door. She knew if her sister or brother-in-law checked the security system on the house, they’d find no record of her leaving in the first place. But at this point, she had bigger things to worry about.

  Determined to ignore her ringing phone, she stripped off her clothes, dumped them in the hamper and went straight to the shower, where she stood under the hot spray far longer than she’d ever stayed there before. It was the only place she felt safe; she didn’t want to face the outside world.

  But then she started thinking about Axel and how he might react. He was so vocal, so excitable. If he couldn’t get through to her, he might decide to call her sister.

  “Oh, no!” she cried as soon as the idea struck her, and she got out, dried off and grabbed her phone.

  It wasn’t vibrating anymore. But she had missed ten calls from him.

  Clasping a towel around her, she sank onto her bed and navigated to voice mail.

  Sure enough, Axel had left a number of messages. Before calling him back, she listened to each one. She figured they might tell her how best to approach the situation.

  Message #1: “Harper, are you kidding me? What the hell was that?”

  Message #2: “Harper, you’d better pick up the damn phone! Who are you with?”

  Message #3: “Seriously? You’re not going to answer? In case you’ve forgotten, we still have two children together!”

  Message #4: “Harper, where are our daughters while you’re fucking this guy?”

  That one struck a hard enough blow that she almost couldn’t continue. But there were six more—and she forced herself to listen to them all. He wasn’t just angry; he was furious. It was eight hours later in London, so she’d interrupted him while he was having dinner with his bandmates and their manager. How would she like it, he yelled in the last one, if he called and made her listen to him screwing another woman, especially while she was at a business meeting?

  How was she going to explain?

  There was no good way. She’d never even mentioned that she was dating someone—because she wasn’t. And the fact that it came out of nowhere only made the whole thing worse.

  The screen on her phone lit up again. Damn! There he was. She’d wanted to take the initiative so it wouldn’t look like she was avoiding him.

  She let it ring. She’d call him in a few minutes, she told herself. When she decided. But the risk that he might involve other people made her press the answer button.

  Too nervous to remain sitting, Harper stood. “Hello?”

  “Harper?”

  She winced. “Yes?” she said tentatively. She expected him to start yelling right away. So she was surprised when he seemed to be at a loss for words.

  Curling her fingernails into her palms, she tried to think of some way to begin the conversation herself. But then he said, “Please tell me that wasn’t what it sounded like.”

  Was there any chance she could claim otherwise? She thought back over the way she’d been moaning, and what she’d said to Tobias right after they’d finished, and knew there wasn’t. She wished she could just disappear. “Would you believe me if I said yes?” she asked.

  “Wow...”

  She squeezed her eyes closed.

  “Holy shit,” he added. “It was real.”

  She gripped the towel that much tighter. “I didn’t mean to call you, Axel. It was an accident. I’m sorry.”

  “When I told Rory what I thought I was hearing, he said you were faking it. That you were probably alone and trying to make me jealous.”

  Rory was the band’s drummer. As she’d feared, she’d upset Axel so badly he’d started talking to other people about it. She just hoped he hadn’t called any of his family—or hers. “No. Like I said, it was an accident. I wasn’t trying to make you jealous.”

  Silence.

  “Axel? I’m sorry that...that it happened.”

  “Is he there with you now?”

  “No.”

  “He’s gone?”

  “Yes!” she clarified impatiently.

  “Who was he?”

  She rubbed her forehead in an effort to relieve the headache that was starting. “Just...someone I met.”

  “Where?”

  “Here in Silver Springs.”

  “Already? You haven’t been there very long.”

  “I don’t know what to tell you.”

  “Our divorce isn’t even final!”

  She stiffened. “You’re saying you haven’t slept with anyone else?”

  It was his turn for silence.

  “That’s what I thought,” she said.

  “So you were trying to get even.”

  What she’d done was so out of character he was still looking for answers. But she didn’t have any to offer him. She hadn’t expected to do what she’d done, and she certainly hadn’t planned it. “No! It wasn’t like that at all. It was a pocket dial. Do you think I wanted you to hear what...what you heard? Something that private? I’m mortified!”

  “Private. Are you forgetting who you’re talking to?”

  No, but he hadn’t been in that room with her. She hadn’t even been thinking of him, which she’d considered a great thing at the time. “We’re no longer together,” she said, relying on that as her only defense.

  “And you seem to be totally over it. From what I heard, you’re having one hell of a good time.”

  He was wounded because of what she’d said, and she could see why it might damage his ego. He wasn’t a bad lover, not by any stretch of the imagination. She couldn’t pinpoint what made today with Tobias so special, but she didn’t intend to talk about it. On some level, she supposed she was still stuck on the part of
their conversation where he’d basically admitted that he’d been with at least one other woman—the part where he’d asked if she was getting even. When had he first been with someone else? And why? Hadn’t she been enough to satisfy him? How many women had there been? Had he begun to care about someone else? Was that how she’d lost him?

  She had so many questions. But would it do her any good to ask them? What did it matter? He didn’t love her anymore. That was what had destroyed their marriage, nothing else.

  She pinched the bridge of her nose as the conversation lapsed into another terrible, stilted silence. They were both angry and hurt. She thought he was ultimately to blame, but he probably thought she was.

  “Where are the girls?” he asked at length.

  “With Karoline at Disneyland.”

  “They went to Disneyland? Without you?”

  “Karoline offered to take them, so...”

  “So you decided to stay behind and fuck your new boyfriend.”

  The profanity made her feel cheap as well as stupid. Which was what he’d intended, of course. Maybe that was why she didn’t bother to tell him that Tobias wasn’t her boyfriend. She didn’t feel Axel had the right to know. “Is there anything wrong with that?” she asked instead.

  He didn’t answer. Again, he seemed to be at a loss for words.

  “Good luck on your tour, Axel,” she said. “As soon as you transfer the money, I’ll get those presents you mentioned for the girls. If you need anything else, it’d be better if you texted me. We really don’t have any reason to call each other anymore.”

  “You’re hanging up?” He sounded stunned.

  “What else is there to say?” she replied and disconnected.

  As she sank onto the bed, she thought she’d cry some more. She usually wound up in tears after talking to Axel, and today had been emotional all the way around.

  But, strangely enough, she didn’t feel the need. She was done trying to win him back. He’d taken her for granted for far too long, and the constant rejection had been torture. If she couldn’t fulfill him, maybe he should find someone else.