Make Me Dream (The Sage Creek Series Book 1)

by Dillon Bancroft

  I wince at the notion of Steve’s thinking his daughter’s life is over. She’s young, and she has so much more life to live. And yet again, here I am, stuck in the middle.

  But this time, I don’t feel so aggravated by it.

  They say kids can sense the best in people. I’ve never seen Zoey light up like she did around Aria. If she can befriend my kid, then we can be friends.

  “Call me if you need any help. I can possibly get Archer and Novak to be on alert should you get arrested.”

  Steve smirks.

  “They’d love the hell out of that, wouldn’t they?”

  “They would thoroughly enjoy it.”

  Steve grins and starts down the porch steps.

  “Keep an eye out for her, okay? She’s vulnerable.”

  “Yeah. No problem.” I doubt she’ll tell me anything. I’m the big bad wolf. And she’s…I don’t know… Some mystery water alien whose about to get boiled.

  10

  ARIA

  14 weeks pregnant…

  Daddy left to visit family in New York without his family. While he’s gone, I pick up the slack. Chris tends to harvesting while Annie and I handle the horses and steer. Dr. Hawthorn helps with feed times, especially since he’s overseeing our new rescue horse’s care plan.

  For the last week, I’ve been up at the ass crack of dawn, thrown my guts up, and gotten to work. From the hours of eleven to four, I’m stuck inside until the temperature drops a few degrees.

  Annie left for Canada this morning. Momma helped with the stalls along with Zoey and Dr. Hawthorn, and Chris said he’d help me with evening feed.

  Ever since Charlotte turned up last week, I’m terrified to be alone. I’m hyperaware of my surroundings. It’s like I’m waiting for a Dodge hitman to storm through the barn Bonnie and Clyde style and packing me full of bullets.

  “Can I help you with anything?” Zoey’s voice appears in the doorway of the feed room.

  Glancing at my new best friend, I grin and shake my head.

  “Thanks. I’m just about done. You can help me drop feed in a little bit.”

  She gives me an enthusiastic nod and grabs her copy of Holes off the ledge and drops down on a bale of hay and loses herself in the pages.

  The sultry sounds of Blondie fill the feed room from the new phone my mom picked up for me after the barbeque. Zoey crosses her legs and taps her foot to the beat. I sing under my breath while I replace the lids on all the trash cans.

  “Ladies,” Dr. Hawthorn greets, strolling into the room and dropping down next to Zoey. “Why don’t the two of you start feeding the horses in the barns and I’ll start on the horses in the pasture?”

  Grateful for the easier task, we agree and start feeding down the line while Dr. Hawthorn loads up the golf cart and starts feeding the horses in the pastures. Once we’re done, Zoey brings me back all the buckets and continues reading while I set up morning feed.

  My back aches. My stomach growls with such ferocity, Zoey glances up and giggles. The low hum of the golf cart approaches the feed room. I continue fixing up morning feed while Dr. Hawthorn finishes up the closing duties.

  “Everything is off in all barns. Are you almost done?”

  No. Because going home to an empty house means all of my bad memories can line up and play ahead of me like a drive-in movie theater.

  “You can head up if you want. I’m finishing up.”

  I can’t get myself to go back to Annie’s house, but I don’t necessarily want to spend the evening with my mother talking future plans for the baby either. Although, she seems to be the only person in the family who is excited about it.

  “Zo, why don’t you head home and start getting cleaned up for dinner?”

  Without looking up from her book, Zoey hops off the bale of hay and reads her way out of the room.

  I avoid Dr. Hawthorn’s hard gaze. Maybe he’s like Dad and he can see right through my bullshit too.

  I swept the feed room an hour ago. But I do it again, because what else am I going to do?

  “I think this is as clean as it’s going to get. Unless you’re going to mop the concrete.”

  Straightening up and leaning the broom against the wall, I turn to face him and his stupid, charming half-grin.

  “That’s not a bad idea.”

  He steps in front of me as I try to escape him. My heart thunders in my chest at his proximity, yet he makes no moves to touch me. Will this always be terrifying? Will the prospect of a man’s touch drive me to the brink of insanity, no matter how innocent it is?

  “Is there a reason why you’re terrified to go home?”

  Ugh.

  I’d love it if everyone could stop thinking they know me so well. Who the fuck is this guy, anyway? He’s known me all of two seconds.

  “I’m not afraid to go home.”

  He snorts. Yes, this must be hilarious. I hate that my sleeve bears my entire heart. People like him, like Daddy, can tell exactly what I’m thinking without me having to say anything. It’s an invasion of privacy.

  “Then come on. I’m starving. I can walk you to the front door.”

  I squeeze my eyes shut in frustration.

  “I’m a big girl. I don’t need you to babysit me.”

  “Can I ask you a serious question?”

  I sigh extra hard for special effect cross my arms across my chest and arch my eyebrow, Betty Lou style.

  “One question. Make it count.”

  His throaty chuckle has my stomach flip-flopping. He’s beautiful when he isn’t angry at the world.

  “Is what happened to you the reason why you’re so closed off, or has it always been you against the world?”

  I blink. Once. Twice. A third time.

  “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

  “Why do you think that?”

  “Just a few things I’ve observed since I came here.”

  I hate his victorious smirk.

  And his stupid chin dimple.

  “Fine. I’ll bite. What things?”

  “The first: your dad told you not to squander your third chance at life.” When I don’t respond, he sinks to the ground, waiting for me to expand. “What happened to your first two chances? And do you have a death wish?”

  Despite my defiance towards him, a laugh escapes me.

  “I suppose the first two chances don’t matter much. When my mom was pregnant with me, the doctors told her it wouldn’t be a viable pregnancy. My mom went into preterm labor and I nearly killed the both of us coming out.”

  My dad isn’t a religious man, but when he talks about that time, he’s not ashamed to admit he hit his knees and prayed to any God out there who was listening.

  “And your second?”

  Sighing, I occupy Zoey’s old seat.

  “I moved to Chicago against my parents’ wishes. I mean, you see the lengths they’ve gone through to keep us here. They built four houses as a bribe to keep us here. Someone has to take over the farm.” I shrug and drop my gaze to the small line of ants crawling around me. “I have a reputation here, Dr. Hawthorn—”

  “Derek.”

  “Dr. Hawthorn,” I reiterate firmly. “I couldn’t wait to get out. Can you imagine living in a place where everyone roots to see you fail? I couldn’t. I wanted to get out of here as fast as I could. I wanted to prove to everyone I wasn’t this…whore they all portrayed me as. I applied and was accepted to Northwestern, got my degree and started a prestigious job at Dodge Enterprises.” My stomach somersaults at those memories. Charlie wasn’t always a monster. Or perhaps he was, he was good at stashing it away. “He was my boss.”

  I’m past the point of crying about it. Now, I’m angry. At him. At myself. At the people around me who knew what was happening behind closed doors and didn’t say a damn thing about it.

  “Anyway, obviously, you saw me when I came home, you see Agent Olson around…I’m sure you can put two and two together.”

  “I’m sorry that happe
ned to you. You couldn’t have known.”

  I scoff and shake my head. I could’ve known. I should’ve known. The signs were there.

  “What are the other things you observed?”

  “The incident with Michelle.” Derek muses.

  This time, my smile is genuine. There’s nothing greater than getting under the skin of the women who slut shamed me from the beginning. I quite enjoyed it.

  “She’s not the first to call me a slut, and she won’t be the last.”

  “I don’t think that was the word she used.”

  I shrug again. Potato, po-tah-toe.

  “It was implied.”

  “When that woman showed up. You stormed over there without backup.”

  “Yeah, well, I didn’t want the whole world knowing what was going on with me. The faster I got her off the property, the faster everyone would stop talking about it.”

  Who am I kidding? This is Sage Creek. It’s been a week and I can guarantee people are still talking about it.

  “Charlie’s sixth stepmother,” I murmur. The woman I’d eventually become had Agent Olson not tracked me down at the grocery store. “Charlie’s stepmother.”

  “If I hadn’t chased after you, would you have gone with her?”

  “No.” It comes out firm, confident, even. The only way Charlie is getting out of my life is when he kills me. But until then, I’m content with living the rest of my life out here. He nods slowly and rips apart a few strands of hay. “So to answer your question, yes, I suppose it’s always been me against the world.”

  “Isn’t that lonely?”

  In all honesty, yes. It’s soul crushing. But I play the hand I’ve been dealt.

  The way he watches me feels like an autopsy. He’s trying to surgically remove all of my secrets, probably because he wants to ruin my life.

  “Tell me about you, Dr. Hawthorn.” I deflect, “I told you my life story, you tell me yours.” He stretches his legs out and finds my eyes.

  “I joined the Navy right out of high school. I was in an all Marine unit who went on special forces missions. And that’s all the detail I can get into.”

  I raise my eyebrows. “That’s only one part of your life. Obviously, you wound up here, had a daughter…”

  “Emily Richardson. Do you know her?”

  “No.” It doesn’t sound familiar.

  “She attended college in North Carolina. We met at one of those local bars around campus. We got married, because it’s something you do in the military. We got along until I deployed, and then after, things progressively got worse for us. She lost interest in me, but then got spiteful, like it was all my fault. I was going to enlist for a third term, but then she got pregnant.”

  A small smile twitches at the corners of his mouth.

  “Kids weren’t a part of our plan. But she knew if she got pregnant, I’d get out. She thought her pregnancy would get me to stay with her, and she was right. I’d never leave my kid.” He sighs. “But it didn’t change the fact she didn’t love me anymore, which was fine by me because I had Zoey. We stayed together for a while, but there comes a point where it’s toxic for kids to see their parents unhappy. Emily partied a lot, started hanging with the wrong crowd. My weekends with Zoey turned into weeks. One time even a month. At that point, I figured if this is how it’s going to be, I may as well petition for full custody. When she caught wind of it, all hell broke loose.”

  Zoey’s toothy grin comes to mind. My heart aches for her being pulled in two different directions. It’s obvious she adores her father, and he adores her too. But for a mother to abandon her child for a month…

  Which is why I can’t kill the jellybean inside of me.

  “I try to make the time I have with her fun. I’ll indulge her in all the books she wants to read and make her favorite foods because I know for sure her mother doesn’t do that for her.”

  His talk of fatherly love makes me miss my dad. My parents have a fairytale romance, but if they would have divorced back then, I’m sure my dad would be exactly like Dr. Hawthorn - thick as thieves from day one.

  “I know you’re scared, and you don’t trust anyone around you, but I don’t think hiding out in the barn all night is any safer.”

  All of the air deflates from my lungs as I let out a shaky laugh.

  “You know nothing. All of these horses would go to war for me.”

  “You made it out the other side, Aria.”

  When I lift my gaze to meet his, I feel like I’m being punched in the gut. Not because he’s hurting me, but because he’s seeing past the brick wall I’ve built over the years. And little does he know, he’s taken out the first brick. The one in the middle you can sort of see through.

  “Did I?” My question hangs in the air like rotten garlic. “I’m never going to be the same. I know I haven’t been a ray of sunshine, but I’m not mean.”

  A fond smile stretches across his lips.

  “I didn’t think you were mean. Defensive, maybe. People say rash things out of fear.”

  My mind flits back to my dad. Is he afraid I’ve fucked everything up so badly he feels he has to escape before I bring this family’s downfall after me? He loves me, I know this. But at what point will he throw in the towel? Where’s the line?

  “You said you were off the market for the rest of your life…”

  Yes. It’s best for everyone involved. It’s for everyone’s safety.

  “I meant it.”

  His melancholy grimace brings the slightest twinge to my heart. One I want to banish away forever.

  “Can I ask why?”

  Chewing on my bottom lip, I sit up a bit straighter, and force myself to look him in the eye. “I’ve done my time and I’m exhausted. The only person I need to give the life they deserve is myself.” Even if there’s not a ton of time left.

  “I can respect that,” he says softly.

  “What about you, Dr. Hawthorn? Why are you whoring yourself out to the flocks of women around town when you can settle down and raise a family?” I ask with a teasing smile.

  His stare grips me in a tight squeeze. Pain and wariness cling to his features. It’s then I can appreciate the strength his aura holds. He’s confident, but there isn’t any cruelty, not like when I first got here. I admire the freckles sprinkled on his face and the way his wavy hair falls into his line of vision. He’s handsome. He has his pick of anyone around town, and with a happy-go-lucky kid like Zoey, he should be looking to complete his life.

  “Like you, I’ve done my time.”

  I grimace. What a lame excuse!

  “And besides, I have a family. I have Zoey. I have my brothers. That’s all I need.”

  So he scratches the itch when it arrives?

  “Isn’t that lonely?”

  Chuckling, he pulls himself to his feet and offers his hand to help me up. I reluctantly place my hand in his and grip it tight as he pulls me up. It’s not so disgusting to me anymore. Maybe a little bit. But his hands don’t promise punishment. They promise help. My back sings in pain at the position I’ve been sitting in for the last fifteen minutes.

  “I’m not a man of romance. When my needs arise, I satisfy them.”

  Scoffing, I dust the dirt off my pants.

  “And once again, I’m going to have to insist you call me Derek.”

  I follow him out of the feed room, shutting off the light and locking up. Derek—suppose we’re there now—stands behind me at a respectable distance. Unlike before, there’s no animosity between us.

  “If you’re scared to go home, you’re more than welcome to have dinner with Zoey and me. But I’m sure you’d rather hang out with your mom or your brother. Regardless, I can walk you to where you want to be.”

  We’re silent for a beat, having a staring contest we’re the only ones privy to.

  “Do you want to be my friend, Derek?”

  A slow smile spreads across his full lips. There’s no challenge in his eyes, or any hidden meanings. Friendship
is all we’re equipped to offer each other. And I think I’m okay with it.

  “I’m friends with the other McKenzies. It would be weird if we weren’t friends too.”

  “Okay.”

  “Okay,” he replies. “So…dinner?”

  “Thanks, but I think I’m gonna keep my momma company. Thanks for offering to escort me, but I think I can make it on my own.”

  “I’ll see you tomorrow then.” We set off on our separate ways, but my stomach churns at the change in atmosphere.

  11

  DEREK

  Zoey and I enjoy breakfast for dinner and then spend an hour watching Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy! before she turns in for the night. While I load up the dishwasher, my mind wanders to the raven-haired beauty who runs into danger as if it’s an old friend.

  The rumor mill around here is to be taken with a grain of salt. Women like the Hunts or Deborah Baker tell stories of Aria getting around with the guys around town.

  The woman I spoke to tonight—without ripping my head off this time— is kind. She’s pensive and intuitive. Maybe that’s who she was trained to be when she was with the likes of Charlie Dodge and it’s stuck.

  But there’s a nagging in my gut that tells me otherwise.

  I know the McKenzies. They’re hardworking people who stay out of the gossip. Annie is free-spirited and the kindest person I’ve met besides her mother. Chris has become my little brother, despite his perpetual bad mood and denial about inheriting the farm.

  Jay Parker, the honorary McKenzie is one of my closest friends. He’s stationed at Camp Lejeune, and still, when he returns home, we pick up right where we left off like there’s no time passed between us.

  Steve. Well, he’s a different story. He’s my commander. My friend. A force to be reckoned with. But seeing him with Zoey, with Annie and Chris, I know he’s kind.

  I’m a girl dad. I understand how angry he was when his baby came home looking like she’d been pushed through a meat grinder.

  Knowing what I know about the McKenzies, I know Aria isn’t the person Sage Creek has painted her to be. And knowing I love the McKenzies for adopting my daughter and I into their family, the least I can do is keep an eye out for their “wild child.”