by C. M. Carney
“Just make it go,” Lex said, his voice calmer.
Simon grumbled and placed both hands on the helm. Vibrant whorls of energy surged through the sphere and around the undead teen’s hands. The fin-like wings on the side of the ship moved up and down, like the flaps of a commercial jetliner being tested before take-off. Simon adjusted his grip, and both masts began to creak and move as if they were seeking the best angle for the wind.
Above them, the abomination slowed its tumble by reeling in its anchor. It pulled itself lower and closer. Several more volleys of magical bolts screamed towards it courtesy of Errat and Vonn, but none got past the abominations renewed shield.
Desperate, Vonn moved to slash the anchor with his vorpal blade, but before he got close enough another barbed tentacle exploded toward the decking. The half-elf rogue dove out of the way and the barb sunk through the decking and into the cabin below.
A high-pitched squeal rose from below deck and the erratic, creaking spin of the propellers at the boat’s stern slowed. The abomination pulled itself closer with its two anchors and the ship lurched up as if it were cresting a large wave during a storm.
“Simon!” Lex roared.
“Shut up, shut up, shut up!” Simon yelled and slapped the sphere with his palms. At the back of the boat, jets of fire raged from the two nozzles, pushing the boat up even further and knocking Lex and the others from their feet.
Lex slid down the deck like an out-of-control kid on a playground slide. Ahead of him, the flames of the jet engines engulfed the aberration. Its body began to char and then burn as the force of the engines pushed it away from the boat.
The creature slammed against the tower, and its body split open like a sack full of wet cement, spreading ichor and muck across the tower’s surface. Despite all that damage, it was still not dead, and it started to drag itself towards the boat once more.
But it would not make it, for the boat's momentum was too great. Lex started to believe they’d escape when they came to a jarring halt and then turned in an odd arc and began to accelerate back towards the tower. Lex grabbed a hold of the rail and kept his footing.
The sound of metal straining against wood drew his eyes to the front of the boat where a large chain still moored the craft to the tower. The thick ring linked to the chain had resisted the force of their forward motion and spun the ship around on a collision course.
Lex watched in horror that turned to glee as the bow of the ship slammed into the abomination and then crushed it against the tower. The chaotic mass of reanimated corpses got in one final scream before its odd half-life was squashed from it with a sickening plop.
The force of the blow turned the ship just enough to ease it past the tower with a horrific wood on stone grinding sound. The chain snapped and the sudden release of tension knocked everyone but Simon and Errat from their feet. A deep rumble pummeled the decking as several boards buckled and snapped, but the ship itself remained intact.
Then they were past the tower and the engines flared one last time before sputtering out, leaving them drifting in silence. The gang got to their feet, exchanging shocked looks as if lacking faith that the events of the past few minutes had truly happened.
“Well, that’s one way to do it,” Lex said.
25
Lex eased into the scalding water and sighed. He closed his eyes and sunk low, letting the water eat away at the dried muck covering his skin. Dipping his head under the water, he clawed through his sticky mop of hair and his gunk covered beard.
He came up for air, stretched his legs and wiggled his toes, careful not to nudge the runic controls at the far end of the tub. The runes were in one of the thousand dialects spoken in the Realm of Chaos, and Lex had been forced to experiment to discover what each rune controlled.
His first attempt had filled the basin, made from the skull of some massive beast, with thick, burning mud. The second filled it with searing acid and a third with something that looked and smelled like chocolate. Lex was not courageous enough to taste the aromatic concoction but nixed it as unsuitable for bathing. After further trial and error, the basin filled with hot water.
There’d been some debate on whether Lex deserved the Master’s chambers. The argument heightened after the others saw the cramped slave quarters, and its shared latrine. Each member of the group had, in their minds at least, legitimate arguments for why they should get the cabin.
Simon claimed they’d all be dead without his piloting skills. Seraphine argued that without her bläärt bombs, Simon would have been unable to pilot them to safety resulting, once again, in everyone’s death. She also pointed out that as the only girl she deserved the private bath. The others just stared at her until she acknowledged she was wearing the stolen body of a teenage boy.
Errat was far too tall to even step inside any of the other cabins without stooping, but since he did not sleep, he was content standing guard on deck. A part of Lex realized that Errat’s noble selflessness should have given him pause, but then he justified his greed by noting none of them were covered in chaos upchuck.
Vonn agreed, casting the deciding vote in Lex’s favor. When the others grumbled, he pointed out that nobody wanted to share space with Lex while he was slathered in chaos innards.
“I don’t wanna share a space with him when he doesn’t stink like dirty underwear,” Simon stated. Seraphine seconded the opinion, which earned them both three-quarters of Lex’s middle finger.
That’s why Lex now relaxed in a giant skull on a ship plying the liquid space of the Realm of Chaos. He wasn’t sure if it impressed or terrified him that the experience barely cracked his top-five weirdest life moments. What he did know, was in a realm whose raison d’être was never-ending change, his respite would be temporary. As much as he wanted to relax, there was always more work to do. He toggled open his interface and tapped the many prompts he’d been ignoring to the fore.
You have earned Experience Points.
You have earned 75,000 XP for defeating Chaos Spawn (x23).
You have earned 18,500 XP for defeating Seraphine’s Doppelgänger.
You have earned 75,000 XP for defeating a Greater Dire Chaos Abomination.
He was still 750,000 XP away from reaching level 20 when he’d be eligible to choose a Specialty, but he’d leveled a bunch of skills, including several to Apprentice level.
Skill Level Alert.
You have reached level 13 in Fire Magic.
You have reached level 29 in Order Magic.
You have reached level 20 in Blunt Weapons.
You have reached level 20 in Light Armor.
You have reached level 22 in Stealth.
You have reached level 21 in Dodge.
You have reached level 8 in Imbue (Icons).
You have reached level 77 in Analyze.
You have reached level 8 in Leadership.
His body went cold on reading the Leadership skill prompt. I haven’t gone through these since before Gryph disappeared. He’d been nonstop go, go, go from the moment the furious red forced log-off prompt had filled his vision.
Like a man coming down from an adrenaline high, the truth of Gryph’s loss hit Lex hard. He was desperate for a way to release his rage, his pain, and his fear. He considered punching something, but then he’d done nothing but hit things since Gryph had vanished, and that had been nothing but a temporary salve to his frayed nerves.
Unbidden, tears came to his eyes and his body wracked with sobs. Well, beating shit up didn’t work. I guess crying’s worth a shot, a part of his brain said with no hint of jest. For several minutes he let himself go, let himself feel grief, and soon he’d moved beyond it to a place of renewed purpose. He closed his eyes, leaned back and took a calming breath. He dozed for the briefest of moments and swore he heard Gryph’s voice.
“Protect our people Lex. That is your job now.”
“Gryph?” Lex called and woke with a start. Water sloshed over the edge of the tub and Lex realized the bath ha
d gone cold. “How long was I out?” he muttered to himself, before clearing the sleep sand from his eyes.
He opened his virtual vision to find that nearly an hour had passed. He eased from the tub, toweled himself off, and cycled through several more prompts one by one.
You have reached Apprentice Tier in Blunt Weapons.
You are awarded a permanent +10 damage to all strikes with Blunt Weapons. You also gain the Tier Ability Double Impact. Double Impact allows the user to double the damage done by a single, successful blow.
Uses Per Day: Two plus one per each additional tier beyond Apprentice.
You have reached Apprentice Tier in Light Armor.
You are awarded a permanent +10 to AC while wearing a complete set of Light Armor. You also gain the Tier Ability Refraction. Refraction is a defensive ability that enables you to reflect all damage done by a single successful attack back at the attacker. The damage refracted cannot be blocked or reduced, except by those who possess a higher tier in the skill used to attack, in which case the refracted damage is ignored.
Uses Per Day: One plus one per each additional tier beyond Apprentice.
You have reached Apprentice Tier in Stealth.
You are now 25% more difficult to detect. You also gain the Tier Ability Sneak Attack. A successfully Stealthed character may perform a Sneak Attack upon an unsuspecting enemy, increasing their chance to hit by 50% and their damage by 250%.
Uses Per Day: Two plus one per each additional tier beyond Apprentice.
You have reached Apprentice Tier in Dodge.
You gain the Apprentice Tier Ability Shift. Using this ability an Apprentice in Dodge may Shift away from an incoming attack. Upon shifting the user moves through the Aether in the blink of an eye and appears up to ten feet in any direction the user chooses, provided there is no obstruction. Opponents must reacquire the user's location before they can attack again.
Uses Per Day: One plus one per each additional tier beyond Apprentice.
His mouth hung open at the array of potent new abilities. Even though he was far from leveling again, he'd grown more powerful. Will it be enough to help us out of this damnable mess? He wondered if there was a way to auto-sort the prompts, so he just knew their information without having to examine a prompt mid-battle. Perhaps that is a skill unto itself? he thought but realized it was a problem for another day. It was time to suit up and get back on deck. He looked down on his fouled robes and grimaced with distaste.
“Assuming I find something to wear.” He looked around the cabin. Apart from the skull tub, the room held a bed big enough for ten or more bodies. Against the far wall was a bar stocked with a wide variety of odd liquors, including some that moved and screeched. Various couches and chairs filled the room’s center and dozens of chains and straps descended from the ceiling and sprouted from walls or the floor. Lex forced himself to not think about their uses and turned to a row of large wardrobes.
“Hopefully the Master has something in my size.”
He opened the first wardrobe and hastily slammed it, his face flushed crimson. Lex did not consider himself a prude, but the implements he could identify seemed better suited to information extraction than pleasure. With a twinge of effort, he blocked his Identify talent from explaining the items.
Cringing, he opened a second wardrobe to find a slew of odd costumes that blurred gender and species lines. Lex didn’t know what the Master and his harem got up to on this boat but suspected even his twisted imagination was not up to the task.
In the third wardrobe, he found a fashionable, yet subtle, suit of thin chainmail. The type a lord might wear to a formal occasion where violence was likely to break out. It was a pleasant shade of blue, which stood out in this realm or reds, oranges, and blacks. A few of the metal links were out of place where the mail was folded, and Lex shook it to ease the kinks out.
A flash of light forced Lex to squint and the suit changed before his eyes into a metallic tutu with matching brassiere. The sudden transformation and added weight startled Lex, and the armor fell to the ground. The impact caused it to shift form again, this time into a set of graduation robes made from bearskin. The robes roared, startling Lex into readying a volley of Order Bolts. A moment later the screaming ceased.
“What the hell?” Lex sputtered and activated his Identify talent.
You have found The Gentleman’s Transformative Couture (Light Armor)(Chaos Magic).
Item Class: Major - Item Category: Passive.
AC Bonus: +18 (+5 Minor Item Bonus).
This suit was crafted from the skin of several dozen gibbering spasms, small lizard-like creatures common to the Ever-Shifting Plains of Gzburbbah, deep in the depths of the Realm of Chaos. Gibbering spasms are known for two things, constantly shifting their appearance and making random, unpleasant noises.
Passive Power (1):
Damage Absorption: When worn, the couture will absorb 10% of all incoming physical damage.
Passive Power (2):
Transformation: When physical damage is absorbed, the couture has a random chance to transform into another type of clothing, armor or outerwear. All stats remain the same regardless of appearance.
Passive Power (3):
Distracting Noise: When physical damage is absorbed, the couture has a random chance to scream, jabber, hoot, howl, burble, gurgle or jabber. This noise may startle opponents, allies or the wearer, resulting in a decreased chance to hit, and an increased chance to suffer spell failure and mana feedback. All Stealth attempts are severely hindered while wearing the couture.
“Why in the hell would somebody make this?” Lex grumbled. The fashion horror show alone provided all the reason he needed to ditch the couture, but couple it with random screaming and it was outright dangerous. Lex could not imagine why the Master would want something like this until he remembered the items he’d seen in the first wardrobe and it all made a kind of twisted, disturbing sense. He kicked the couture under the nearest wardrobe. It moaned in protest, like an old dog plopping down for its final nap, before transforming into something that resembled a jellyfish tossed onto a dock.
The only other item in the wardrobe was a crystal vial of powder whose color shifted. Lex touched it gingerly with his toe, jumping back as it tilted. Fearing the worst, he activated Identify again.
You have found Brixmagarrion’s Ever Fix Powder (Aether Magic).
This vial of powder was crafted by the legendary magician and tailor Brixmagarrion. When sprinkled on a dirty or damaged article of clothing, armor, hat or other wearable item, it is instantly laundered, and all damage is repaired. The item also gains a random and permanent upgrade. While items can be repaired as often as needed, the upgrade is only applied once. The repaired item is considered well laundered, a boon for interactions with others.
Uses: 10
Lex’s eyes widened in appreciation and he lifted the vial. He walked to the pile of rancid muck and half dissolved cloth that was his Robes of Cerrunos and pulled the cork from the vial. Though the ‘random upgrade’ portion of the powder’s description gave him a slight pause, he decided there was no chance anything could make the robes worse.
You do like to tempt fate, he heard Vonn’s voice say in the back of his mind.
Lex held his nose against the stench of the robes and opened the vial. A pleasant lavender and citrus odor rose, and he smiled in appreciation before tapping a few grains onto the robes. On hitting the spoiled cloth, the grains sparkled and then expanded into a cloud.
The cloth frothed with suds and Lex imagined he heard a low murmur, like the sound of a thousand microscopic men humming as they worked. He stepped back, fearing he’d just unleashed some kind of nano-plague, but a moment later the noise, the suds, and the cloud disappeared in a puff of sparkling dust.
What had been a sodden, wretched mess was now a well laundered and folded set of gleaming silver-white robes. Lex had never seen clothing so clean, nor so well pressed. He reached for the robes but hesitated as t
he phrase ‘too good to be true' burbled up from the deep recesses of his cynical mind.
With his hand hovering just above the velvety softness of the robes, Lex activated Identify.
You have found Robes of Cerrunos. (Light Armor)(Order Magic).
Item Class: Major - Item Category: Passive
AC Bonus: +16 (+5 Major Item Bonus)
Passive Power (1):
Holy Aura: Provides a Priest of Cerrunos with +20% Health, Stamina, Mana and Spirit Regeneration, so long as they have faith in Cerrunos.
Passive Power(2):
Resistance to Chaos: Provides a Priest of Cerrunos a 25% resistance to Chaos Magic, as well as damage from Chaos creatures, so long as they have faith in Cerrunos.
NOTE: Since you bear the soul of the god Cerrunos, all bonuses are doubled.
The robes’ upgrade was amazing. Not only would they make him the most fashionable fella in the R-O-C, but they would also help him survive the wretched place. Yet, despite the list of potent defensive capabilities, the last line of the prompt left him feeling hollow.
Since you bear the soul of the god Cerrunos, all bonuses are doubled.
From the start, Lex’s opinion of Cerrunos had been low, what with him being dead and therefore useless. But things got worse when he’d learned his god was the worst traitor in the history of the Realms, a coward who’d betrayed everyone, faked his own death, and left the Realms to face the ravages of the Ruin alone.
