Brave Love

by Allyson Simonian

  God, what was wrong with her? Was she actually going to cry?

  He reached out and took hold of her hand. “We don’t have to talk about it.”

  Blinking furiously, she gazed down at their joined hands. “I should be able to.”

  Ethan squeezed her hand, his voice compassionate as he said, “It’s got to be hard.”

  She nodded. It was. But it wasn’t just the office shooting; it was the way she handled stress. Ethan was an officer of the law. He was trained to handle emergencies, to stay calm during them. She, on the other hand, couldn’t think about the past without breaking into a cold sweat. They were very different. And the realization was more than a little depressing.

  “Let’s talk about something else,” he offered. “When did you graduate?”

  “Two years ago.”

  He told her he was thirty, which meant there was a six-year age difference between them. Not such a big deal.

  “Which school did you go to?” he continued.

  “Falls College.”

  Ethan paused. “Wasn’t that where the Campus Killer was?”

  Oh dear Lord, another conversational minefield. Paige nodded and quickly changed the subject, asking about the house he’d recently bought.

  Afterward, they spoke more about his family. He told her his father had passed away from cancer when he was a teen, and a surge of sympathy hit Paige as she listened. Other than David’s wife’s passing, she hadn’t experienced much loss. Her grandparents had passed away, but that had been far from unexpected. They’d been older and in poor health.

  Ethan frowned as he explained how things had been hard on his mother. “I can’t even remember the last time I heard her laugh.” An expression of sadness crossed his face before he changed the subject again.

  At the end of the night, he walked her out to her SUV. Shifting nervously on his feet, he rubbed the back of his neck before blurting, “Are you free again tomorrow night? It’s my last weekend night off for a while.” He’d already explained the department’s rotation during dinner, so she knew what he meant.

  When she said she was free, his face crinkled with a grin. She’d seen that smile a few times and, man, was it sexy. Her stomach tingled with excitement, and it surprised her. Even before her kidnapping, she couldn’t remember ever feeling like this about a man.

  Chapter 16

  The man they called the Campus Killer wasn’t a sociopath. He’d never tortured animals as a child. Never killed one. In fact, he’d had a dog when he was little. He’d had good parents. A happy, normal childhood. But then he’d begun to notice girls.

  Maybe notice wasn’t the right word. They’d fascinated him and he’d studied them as they walked across campus, long hair flowing behind them. They were happy, content, completely unaware of his thoughts.

  For a long time, studying them was all he’d done. Then he’d begun to wonder. What would it feel like to hold their lives in his hands? What would having that kind of power be like? Would their fear excite him even more than watching them?

  Yes, it had. The first girl he took had given him an intense adrenaline rush, but his inexperience resulted in her death. He’d simply been choking her, watching her eyes closely as he squeezed her throat, fascinated with how her pupils had dilated with fear. Before he knew it she was no longer breathing, and when he accepted the fact that he’d gone too far, fury rushed through him.

  The next time he was more careful, and the girl lasted a few days before she was no longer fun. But Paige . . . she was different. She deserved special treatment, and he took his time making plans just for her.

  Chapter 17

  Ethan frowned into his rearview mirror after he pulled up in front of Paige’s duplex, adjusting his tie before his third date with Paige. He didn’t dress up often, but he still felt comfortable in dress slacks, a button-down, and a tie. And since he was taking Paige somewhere more formal this time—a new upscale Mediterranean restaurant—the clothes were appropriate.

  It surprised him just how much he was looking forward to spending time with her. He’d known even before their first date that they shared a connection, which seemed to strengthen the more he spent time with her. Taking one last glance at his reflection, he got out of his car and walked up the sidewalk.

  His heart beat hard after Paige opened her door. She was stunning in the red dress she was wearing, with her dark hair hanging loose over one shoulder. Her feet were bare, and she stood with her head cocked to the side as she fastened an earring.

  “Just give me a minute,” she said once he’d stepped forward and kissed her.

  As she walked down the hall, he glanced down at his hands. That morning he’d helped a stranded motorist, and his fingernails still held traces of grease. “Mind if I use your bathroom?”

  She turned around. “Of course not.” She gestured to the door she was in front of before continuing into her bedroom.

  He walked into the bathroom and turned on the faucet. As he stood scrubbing his hands with some of the lavender soap on the counter, he noticed that the medicine cabinet was tilted forward. After drying his hands, he reached up and took hold of it.

  If the cabinet had even been attached to a stud, it had barely been screwed in. Once he let go, the cabinet tilted forward again, releasing the door, and a prescription fell out. Ethan set it back inside before turning off the water.

  Paige was putting on strappy red heels when he returned to the entryway. He gave his head a mental shake to chase away the thoughts the shoes inspired, and said, “Your medicine cabinet. It’s hanging by a thread.”

  “It’s not so bad. I don’t keep much in there anyway.”

  “It could be a lot better,” he insisted.

  Shrugging, she said, “I don’t like to bother Melissa much. She’s busy with everything at the hospital.”

  As Ethan drove them downtown, conversation flowed between them as easily as it had on their first two dates.

  “So, what made you choose police work,” Paige asked.

  Ethan thought for a moment, choosing the right words. “Growing up, I always wanted a career where I could help people. Being a cop makes me feel like I do.” He glanced over at her, then added, “Maybe it had something to do with the helplessness I felt after my dad passed away. I wanted to make a difference somehow, and when my best friend joined the fire department, I decided to give police work a try.”

  It had taken him months to even attempt the written test, though. Deep down, he knew his dyslexia affected nothing more than his reading and writing—that it didn’t have any bearing on his intelligence. But at twenty-one, the insecurities had still hit hard.

  He’d bought a few workbooks and studied for months, certain he was wasting his time. He could still remember his nerves when he’d walked into the room to take the entrance exam. But he’d passed. And he’d had no trouble with the next aspects of the hiring process—the physical and psychological testing.

  Pushing aside the memories, he changed the subject and asked Paige more about her job.

  After dinner, when he was driving Paige home, he thought about the comparisons he’d made that evening. Paige was in a professional job, and he was a civil servant. She wrote all day as part of her job, and he had trouble putting together even a few paragraphs. For whatever reason, though, she seemed to enjoy their time together too. They’d had another great evening.

  They arrived back at her place and he walked her to her door. After he gave her a long kiss, he forced himself to pull back. He had no doubt that Paige was the type of woman who’d appreciate his taking things slowly, so that was exactly what he was going to do.

  • • •

  Two nights later, Ethan stood outside Paige’s door and rang the doorbell. She opened the door with a surprised smile, then did a double-take at the toolbox in Ethan’s hand.

  “What is that?”

  “It’s a toolbox,” he said with a grin.

  She smiled and then kissed him. “What I mean is, what’
s it doing here?”

  “I want to fix that medicine cabinet before it falls on you.”

  She arched a brow as he stepped inside. Apparently, she was making dinner; the aroma of basil and oregano filled Ethan’s nose, and he inhaled appreciatively as he followed her. Inside the kitchen, Paige handed him a bottle of beer, then asked about his day.

  A few minutes later, Ethan brought the toolbox into the bathroom. Setting it onto the counter, he opened the medicine cabinet. The prescription he’d seen the other day and a box of Band-Aids were the only items inside. When he picked up the bottle, the name of the drug on the label caught his eye. An anxiety reliever. With a frown, he set it onto the counter.

  He grabbed a stud finder from the toolbox and ran it along the wall. The existing screws were lined up with the studs; they just hadn’t been drilled in far enough. Getting out the hardware he’d brought, he drilled it in.

  Things were much better when he tested the cabinet again. He put back the prescription and Band-Aids and gathered up his tools. When he turned around, Paige was standing in the doorway.

  “That was so sweet of you.”

  He walked over to her and pulled her against him. “Anything else I can help with?”

  She shook her head. “Nothing I can think of. Are you hungry?”

  He grinned. “Starving.”

  They went into the dining room and enjoyed the spaghetti she’d made. Afterward, they watched a movie while cuddling together on the couch. Once it ended, they began kissing. Ethan reluctantly pulled away several minutes later, knowing full well he wouldn’t be able to stop if things progressed any further.

  He brushed a lock of hair off her forehead as he asked softly, “Spend the night with me tomorrow?”

  When Paige nodded, he gathered her into his arms and inhaled the sweet scent of lavender. One more night. He could wait one more night.

  Chapter 18

  Paige closed the door after Ethan left. It was amazing the emotions he stirred up inside her. Every minute she wasn’t focused on work, she thought of him. Ethan was like a drug she couldn’t get enough of.

  A few minutes later, she went into the bathroom. As she brushed her teeth, she tested the medicine cabinet. It had been so nice of him to fix it. The heat of embarrassment rushed through her as she remembered the prescription inside. She opened the cabinet and stared at the pill bottle. Maybe Ethan hadn’t noticed.

  God, who was she kidding? Of course he’d noticed. Knowing the cabinet wouldn’t hold much weight, she’d barely kept anything in there. He’d seen the bottle; he’d just been too polite to say anything.

  She shut the cabinet with a sigh and looked at herself in the mirror. Those pills told the truth. Deep down she was a mess, plain and simple. There was no denying it.

  She shouldn’t be doing this—she wasn’t fit for a relationship with Ethan. And he was a police officer, for God’s sake. To be in a relationship at all was a bad idea, but with Ethan’s job? Thinking of the danger alone would probably send her into a panic.

  Yet, despite all the rationalizing, she couldn’t imagine breaking it off. For the first time in her life, she was happy—blissful even. He’d said he wanted her to spend the night with him. And that was exactly what she wanted too. But as she stared into the mirror, she still felt unsettled.

  Chapter 19

  The next morning, Ethan sat down next to Mark in the station’s conference room. Their lieutenant began the shift briefing by pointing to the map that hung on the wall.

  “We had another fire last night. Pine Street this time.”

  It was the second fire within a week. The first had been inside a park’s storage shed. This one had been set in back of a housing development.

  “How bad?” an officer asked.

  “Would have been a lot worse if someone hadn’t spotted it.”

  They’d hoped the first fire had been an accident. Now it looked as if they were dealing with a serial arsonist.

  “Cole, Davis. See if you can find anything now that we have some daylight.”

  When the meeting ended ten minutes later, Ethan and Mark headed out. Smoke was still rising from a large circle of black when they arrived at the housing development.

  They received a briefing from the officer already there, then Ethan surveyed the development. Thirty single-family houses were set close together at the base of a hill. It was a miracle none had caught fire. Thankfully, a woman had been up late with a fussy baby. She’d reported the blaze.

  A few minutes later, Ethan and Mark interviewed her. Arsonists typically enjoyed watching the fires they’d started, but the woman hadn’t noticed anyone lurking in the darkness.

  Over the next two hours, Ethan and Mark spoke with more property owners. Unfortunately, none had seen anything, and no one had video surveillance. The firefighters left the scene, and Ethan and Mark left soon after. They spent the rest of the day on calls.

  That evening, Ethan sat down at a vacant desk after he and Mark arrived back at the station. He glanced at the clock with a sigh. There was no way he was going to be able to pick Paige up on time. Not with all the reports he had to finish.

  Pulling out his phone, he called her.

  “Hey,” he said once she picked up. “It looks like I’m going to be late.”

  There was a moment’s hesitation before she said, “If tonight’s no good, we can just get together another night this week. I have work I can do too.”

  Ethan’s reply was quick. “No. I definitely want to see you.” Just hearing Paige’s voice gave him a thrill. And seeing her was exactly what he needed after a long day, even if there wasn’t time for the slow seduction he’d planned. They agreed he’d pick her up at her office.

  • • •

  It was a little more than two hours later when Ethan walked into Paige’s office building. New security measures were now in effect, which made him feel better. Even though it was after normal working hours, a security guard was seated in the lobby. He called up to Paige before directing Ethan toward the elevators.

  Paige was standing next to her boss when Ethan walked through the door of Nelson Media. As he entered, David stood up and gripped Ethan’s hand.

  “Nice to see you again,” David said.

  Paige smiled at Ethan. “We’re almost finished.”

  Ethan nodded and turned to wait in the lobby, but David waved his hand. “You two go ahead. We can finish in the morning.”

  After giving David a hug good-bye, Paige grabbed her purse. Ethan held the door open for her, and turned back to see David was still watching them. Ethan held his hand up in a wave after he let the door go.

  “You two are close,” he said once he and Paige had stepped inside the elevator.

  Although it wasn’t a question, she acknowledged it as one. “We are.” She grinned. “And right now he’s probably calling my parents to report in.”

  Hand-in-hand, they walked out of the building into the night air. Two blocks down, they found a restaurant that stayed open late. After they were seated in a booth, Ethan reached across the table. “I’m really sorry you have to put up with my hours.”

  It was a shame that it was so late. He’d gotten up early that morning and cleaned. Hell, he’d even set up candles in his bedroom. But as disappointed as he was, spending the night with Paige could wait a little longer.

  “Things must be pretty unpredictable for you,” she said as she smiled at the server who was placing ice water on their table.

  “Sometimes. Tonight, though, I was behind on my reports.” He shrugged. “They take me forever.”

  She was studying him, and Ethan wondered whether he should tell her about his dyslexia. As embarrassing as it was, if he wanted a long-term relationship with her, he’d need to do it sooner or later. He debated for another moment before opening his mouth again.

  “The reports are always a challenge,” he said as he stared at the table. Lifting his eyes to meet hers, he added, “The words—they blur.”

  Sh
e took a sip of water and then set her glass down. “When you’re tired?”

  He shook his head and studied her for another moment before saying, “Always. I have dyslexia.”

  “Really?” She tilted her head to the side, considering him, but if she was freaked out in any way, she didn’t show it.

  As he nodded, he felt embarrassment heat his face. Again he wondered whether he should have shared this so early in their relationship. What if she thinks I’m stupid?

  That old insecurity again, the one that had gotten better but never fully went away. He still remembered how it felt when the reading specialist had come into class for him. The other kids had been nice, surprisingly so. But that hadn’t stopped him from feeling different. He was the only one in his grade who needed the extra help.

  Ethan knew he was good at his job, that he made a difference in the safety of the community. But that didn’t mean there weren’t times when he still felt insecure, like right now. What Paige thought of him was important to him, incredibly important. He not only wanted her affection, he wanted her respect.

  When Ethan finally met her gaze, though, he didn’t see any judgment on her face. He could see only understanding in her eyes.

  Chapter 20

  It was two nights later when Paige finally made it over to Ethan’s to spend the night.

  When she pulled up, Ethan was standing on a stepladder, fixing the porch light. He turned and waved as she got out of the car, then stepped off the stepladder. Brushing off his hands, he met her on the walkway and pulled her to him. “I’m glad you’re here.”

  She smiled up at him, and he bent his head to give her a quick kiss before leading her inside. Once in the foyer, he said, “Give me a second.”

  He went outside to carry the ladder into the garage, and Paige was looking around the living room when he walked back in. “This is a really nice place,” she said as she ran a hand appreciatively over the fireplace mantel.