She wasn't sure what he was asking but figured whatever it was, the answer was going to be the same.
"No. Never. Nothing," she said.
He kissed her nose and stood up, turning away from her.
"You really should leave," he said.
"But why? What if I don't want to?"
"There's a whole world out there you need to experience. You need to try things, make mistakes, and move on from them. I don't want to be one of those mistakes."
"Fine," she said, annoyed.
Lucky felt drunk, but she couldn't say if it was because of the alcohol or because of Jude. Whenever she saw him she felt dizzy, like the room was spinning. She stood up to leave and lost her balance, but Jude quickly caught her and helped her back onto the couch.
"Stay here. The couch pulls out, you can take the bed."
"I guess I'll be one of the many who get to say they spent the night in Jude Morrison's bed."
Lucky giggled softly. Her eyelids felt heavy and her body slowly relaxed as the day finally caught up with her. As Jude carried her into the bedroom, she wondered if she was dreaming. How could she be so lucky to be in his arms?
Jude pulled the sheets back and placed her on the bed. He took her shoes off then pulled the blankets up around her. He left the room and came back with a glass of water, which he placed on the nightstand beside her.
As he kissed her forehead, Lucky wanted to pull him close to her, but she was too tired. She silently cursed herself for being so tired as he walked out of the room and closed the door. She imagined him sitting on the couch, the light reflecting off the muscles of his bare chest. He opened his notebook and worked on lyrics to a song. Lucky didn't think it was possible, but Jude managed to get even hotter.
11
Lucky
Lucky woke to the sound of her phone vibrating on the nightstand next to her. Sunlight was just beginning to seep through the partially opened drapes.
"Hello?" she whispered into the phone, then cleared her throat.
"Did I wake you, dear? You had us worried. You know you're supposed to call before bed," her mother said.
"Oh hi Mom, I'm sorry. I was really tired last night."
She looked around the room then spotted a pair of Jude's worn leather boots by the closet door. Shocked, she sat up, realizing she wasn't in her hotel room. Damn hotel rooms all look alike. As she tried remembering how she got there, the memory of her barging in on him flashed in her head and she groaned.
"Is something wrong?" her mother said.
"No, no, Mom, everything's fine. I just remembered something I forgot about."
"How are things going with that new drummer of yours? Umm Jude…something. Isn't he that tattooed man on your wall?"
"He's not there anymore, Mom, that was high school." She sighed, glad Jude couldn't hear the call. "He's fine. No, actually, he's great. He's an incredible musician."
"That's good. Did I ever tell you a story I heard about him? You were too young for me to tell you before, but I guess now that you're a big rock star--"
"I'm not a rock star, Mom."
"Fine. Now that you're away on tour, I suppose you're old enough to hear this."
"I'd rather not to be honest."
"Remember your cousin Jessie? Well, you know she's not the most conservative woman. Anyway, she met him once while he was on tour with…what was the name of his band? Gold…silver?"
"Silver. Silverlight. I really don't want to talk about this, Mom."
"But it’s a great story, honey. Anyway, Jessie managed to get backstage and meet the band. She took a liking to Jude and ended up back at his hotel room--"
"Mom! Please!"
"You need to hear this, Olivia. I think it’s important."
Lucky knew whenever her mom called her by her real name, she meant business. Defeated, she knew she had no choice but to listen to the story, this time not from a friend of a friend, but from her own mom, first told by her own apparently slutty cousin. She couldn't wait to get off the phone.
"Fine, go ahead, but I've heard enough already."
"So they went back to his hotel room and ordered in some takeout and listened to music. From what Jessie said, his real passion was songwriting, but the band had very specific roles and refused to give him a chance."
"Really? Go on," Lucky said, surprised it wasn't what she thought.
"Oh, now you're interested?" her mother teased. "Well, by the time they finished talking it was late, so Jude offered her his bed to stay the night while he slept on the couch. Jessie was actually very upset he was such a gentleman, but when I heard he was going on tour with you, I felt a little better about my baby being away from home."
Lucky shook her head in amazement, knowing he was asleep on the couch in the next room. She wondered how many times that happened with those friends of friends she heard so much about. Maybe that was the smoke and mirrors Stan mentioned.
"Why did you think I needed to hear this?"
"Because I know there's a lot of temptation out there on the road. I know your father and I sheltered you from a lot of things, but just because you're away for the first time, it doesn't mean you need to try everything. Look at Jude. He's a big rock star, and all he wanted was someone to talk to. Sometimes it’s the little things in life that are more important."
"Thanks Mom. I gotta go. Give Dad a kiss for me."
Thinking about everything her mom said, Lucky decided she needed to talk to Jordan immediately. None of it made sense to her, but maybe it would to her best friend.
Slowly opening the door, not wanting to wake him, she was shocked to smell bacon and see Jude cooking in the small kitchenette. He was dressed just in his jeans, no shirt, exactly like she remembered him last night. With his back turned to her, she was able to see a color tattoo on his shoulder blade of a scorpion.
Surprised to see him cooking, she didn't say anything for a moment. She admired the strong muscles of his back, the way it V'd down from his broad shoulders to his waist. As she imagined what his muscles felt like, she heard the bacon grease splatter.
"I see you like to live dangerously," she said as she tried to ignore the thumping in her chest.
"You're up. I was wondering when you'd wake up. What are you talking about?" Jude said, his brow furrowed as he glanced at her.
"The bacon. And you without a shirt on."
He laughed as he plated scrambled eggs, bacon, and buttered toast for her.
"Well, I like to fly close to the sun."
"That's a good line," she said, thinking about his notebook. "So you never answered me last night, do you write?"
"We're not talking about that. I hope you like scrambled eggs," he said, changing the subject.
"Thanks, this is great. But why did you do this? They have breakfast downstairs."
"I thought after last night you needed a good breakfast."
"Well, aren't you a gentleman," she said, thinking about what her mother told her that morning.
"Don't let it get out," he joked.
She wanted to ask why not but knew he'd never tell her. Besides, she might be reading too much into it. She looked over at the notebook on the coffee table. Even from the short distance she recognized the tattered, stained edges that came from carrying a notebook everywhere.
"There's so much I want to know about you," she blurted out.
"I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why not?"
"It just isn't. Besides, you're young. Go out with Kat and have fun," he said.
"And what about you?"
"I'm doing my thing, don't worry about it."
Getting Jude to open up was like trying to get water from a stone. She almost gave up, especially since she wanted to talk to Jordan so badly, but then thought about that time she saw him play live with Silverlight.
"You know, Silverlight was the only live show I ever saw," Lucky said.
"That's too bad, there are a lot of great bands out there."
"You know, you're impossible to talk to sometimes," she said with a loud sigh. "I'm trying to have a conversation here."
"Sorry, I just..." he shook his head as he paused. "I think we're better off not getting to know each other that well."
"Why not?"
"I already told you last night."
She was quiet for a moment as she tried to remember what he said last night. But the more she tried to think about it, the more her head started to hurt. The only thing she could remember clearly was her making a fool of herself.
"Since you came on tour, I've been wanting to tell you how much you inspired me," she said. "I remember that one show like it was yesterday. Your solo was amazing, a real experience."
"Now you're just trying to flatter me."
"No, really. The way you slowed it down. Those grooves and rhythms. It wasn't some big showy spectacle like other drummers do. You weren't just banging away. You played music. It was intimate and sexy as all hell."
"Thanks," he said as his eyes met hers.
His face softened and he leaned on the counter a bit closer to her. With the slightest movement of his hand, he touched hers and her heart banged wildly in her chest.
She didn't know what was happening between them. She had dreamed about him for so long that being so close to him felt unreal. The butterflies in her stomach kicked into high gear and the next thing she knew, she couldn't stop babbling.
"I really mean it," she said. "It's because of you I decided to become a musician. Before that, music was just for fun. It was then that I realized work could be fun. Every song I've ever written was for you."
She bit her tongue to stop herself from saying anything more as her cheeks burned from embarrassment. The last thing she wanted was for him to think of her as another crazy groupie. She knew Jude had enough of those.
"I mean, the drum part. I imagined you playing it," she said, trying to sound calmer than she really felt.
He leaned forward a little closer and gently touched her chin and pulled her face closer to his. Lucky's heart continued its crazy rhythm as she held her breath, waiting for his lips to finally touch hers.
He kissed her. Quickly. His lips barely brushed against hers before he pulled himself away, backing away from the counter she sat at, and crossed his arms over his chest.
"You really have to go," he said sternly.
"Oh, well, okay then. Thanks for breakfast. I guess I should get ready to hit the road. How long is it to Dallas?"
"About twelve hours, just a bit longer than our last leg."
"At least we get the night off," she said. "Thanks for letting me spend the night. And I'm sorry about barging in on you and--"
"Forget about it."
She didn't want to leave Jude, but she knew she couldn't stay. Lucky wasn't paying attention to the time, but she knew they'd have to meet for the bus soon. As she left Jude's hotel room, her mind swam with questions for him she knew he'd never answer.
Jordan surprised her as she entered the suite.
"Where have you been?" Jordan asked, her arms folded over her chest. "I can't believe you were out all night. Your mom called me last night and I had to lie to her. What is going on with you? This isn't like you at all."
"Geez, calm down. I spoke to my mom. Even she wasn't as crazy as you." Lucky plopped herself down on the couch. "I really need to talk to you so if you'd like to get back to being my best friend, I'd really like that."
"I'm sorry, but it’s not like you to just disappear all night. Are you just getting back?"
"No, I just got up and had some breakfast," Lucky said.
"Where did you sleep?"
"In Jude's room."
"Are you freaking kidding me? Doesn't he always leave with a groupie or two?"
"Yes, or no. I don't know anymore, I'm so confused. We need to talk, I need the other half of my brain," Lucky said.
"Well, we don't have time now. Stan wanted to leave early, remember? You can tell me on the bus. I've been packing your things too. I don't know why you unpack so much for an overnight."
"Crap! The bus. I told Ross and Mark they could ride along."
"Who? Ugh, those guys, your groupies? Seriously, what's wrong with you?" Jordan asked.
"It was Kat. She just kept pushing and I couldn't say no."
"I gotta teach you to grow a backbone one day. I think you're going to need it if you stay in this business. Besides, who gives a crap about what Kat wants?"
She knew Jordan was right and admired that her friend always seemed so tough even though she knew how sensitive she really could be. Looking at Jordan in her leggings and an oversized plaid men's shirt, she realized she didn't have the sadness she had when she left her last night by the bus.
"Did you and Dylan make up?" Lucky asked.
"Seriously Lucky, we're going to be late!"
"They can't leave without me, it’s my band."
Lucky ignored Jordan's eye roll. She understood her desire to not be late, but it was her tour, her band, her bus. They wouldn't leave without her. Plus she needed to change out of last night’s clothing.
Changing her jeans and putting on a clean lavender cotton tunic, Lucky was ready for the long bus ride. She parted the front of her hair and braided it then pulled the braids back to clasp them to the back of her hair, letting the rest of her hair flow wildly around her.
As she and Jordan grabbed their things and headed to the lobby, Lucky couldn't stop thinking about Jude. She believed she had him all wrong from the start. Whether he used women in the past she still wasn't sure, but it didn't seem like it was something he did anymore. She hoped that wasn't wishful thinking on her part.
Entering the glass-encased lobby, they noticed Stan closing the bottom storage area of the bus before climbing aboard. When the bus began to move, Lucky's heart dropped to her stomach.
"Oh--! You can't be serious!" Lucky said.
She grabbed Jordan by the arm and began running through the lobby with their luggage rolling behind them. Bursting through the front door, they waved wildly at the bus, hoping someone would see them. The bus stopped at the corner and they quickly ran over to it.
"See Lucky, it’s not your bus, it’s Stan's," Jordan said.
ALL MY EX'S LIVE IN TEXAS
12
Jude
As Jude stuffed the last of his things back into his bag, his cell phone rang. He didn't have to look at the name to know who it was. Cade Summers, the lead singer of Silverlight and one of Jude's closest friends.
"Hey man," Jude said as he answered the phone. "I don't have a lot of time."
"Oh? She that hot?" Cade said. "Maybe Black can find a place for me on her tour, too."
"Shut up, it's not like that. Besides, you know touring is the last thing I want to do, especially for someone else."
"Who are you kidding, Jude? You loved touring. All that road pussy," Cade said with a sigh, "I miss it too."
"You know it was never like that for me."
"Yes, yes, everyone knows, Jude Morrison is always falling in love. Who is it this time? Is it the kid?"
"She's not a kid," Jude said. "Plus she has talent. Something I know you'll find hard to understand."
"Oh, I bet she's talented. I hear all the chicks nowadays are easier than--"
"Shut up, Cade," Jude said sternly. "Be serious for once."
Cade sighed. "You take the fun out of everything, man. Just admit it though, you had to have been with thousands of women over the years. You loved every single one of them, didn't you?"
"At the time I really thought I did, but I don't think I knew what love was."
"But what about--"
"Don't say her name. Not now, okay? But yeah, I did love her. I think after her I kept looking for that same feeling and confusing what my dick wanted with what my heart was looking for," Jude said. "Not that any of that matters. You know how it is, you fuck up out there on the road and everyone knows about it. To this day, all anyone talks about is who I've slept w
ith. I'm different now from that kid I was on the road. I grew up."
"We all did."
"Ha! Gimme a break, Cade. You haven't changed a bit."
"Nah, you'd be surprised. You really would," Cade said. "Enough about me though, it sounds like you got it bad."
"I do," Jude said. "She's perfect. Which is exactly why I need to stay away from her."
"Man, you confuse me. So you love her, but you're staying away?"
"I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, you know that. I don't want this girl to be one of them."
"Jude, let me tell you," Cade said. "Take some advice from me. We've both left plenty of broken hearts on the road, and we've both experienced plenty of heartache."
"Don't bullshit me, Cade. You've never had your heart broken."
"Fine, you got me there, but you know what's worse? Never having the chance with that one you know is the girl for you. You want to be a pussy and worry about getting hurt or whatever, then fine, be a pussy, Jude. But after you see her with someone else, trust me, you'll be wishing all you had was a broken heart."
Jude was silent. He wanted to be angry with Cade for what he said, but there was more that he didn't know.
"I'm not being a pussy," Jude said. "I'm being a man. Lucky hasn't been out in the world like you and me. All of this is new to her. I love her. I've never admitted that before, not even to myself, but it's true. All I think about is her. My days are brighter now that she's in them. And all I care about is her happiness. But she needs to experience the world and maybe even other people. I know you don't understand, man, and that's alright, but I'd rather be her last than her first."
"First? Well, you know that's my specialty," Cade said, joking.
Jude laughed. "Thanks, you always know the right thing to say. Talk soon."
After hanging up with Cade, Jude left his room and headed down the elevator to the bus. Climbing aboard the bus in his jeans, a black fitted t-shirt, and his favorite boots, he listened to the heavy thud of his footsteps and wondered where Lucky was.
Lucky: A Rockstar Romance Two Book Boxed Set Page 8
