CHAPTER VIII
HOW JILL SLEPT UNDISTURBED, AND NOBBY ATTENDED CHURCH PARADE.
"What d'you do," said Berry, "when you want to remember something?"
"Change my rings," said Daphne. "Why?"
"I only wondered. D'you find that infallible?"
My sister nodded.
"Absolutely," she said. "Of course, I don't always remember what I'vechanged them for, but it shows me there's something I've forgotten."
"I see. Then you've only got to remember what that is, and there youare. Why don't I wear rings?"
"Change your shoes instead," said I drowsily. "Or wear your waistcoatnext to your skin. Then, whenever you want to look at your watch, you'llhave to undress. That'll make you think."
"You go and change your face," said Berry. "Don't wait for something toremember. Just go and do it by deed-poll. And then advertise it in _TheTimes_. You'll get so many letters of gratitude that you'll get tired ofanswering them."
Before I could reply to this insult--
"I suppose," said my sister, "this means that you can't remembersomething which concerns me and really matters."
In guilty silence her husband prepared a cigar for ignition with theutmost care. At length--
"I wouldn't go as far as that," he said. "But I confess that at the backof my mind, in, as it were, the upper reaches of my memory, there is afaint ripple of suggestion for which I cannot satisfactorily account.Now, isn't that beautifully put?"
With a look of contempt, Daphne returned to the digestion of a letterwhich she had that morning received from the United States. ReflectivelyBerry struck a match and lighted his cigar. I followed the example ofJill and began to doze.
With the exception of Jonah, who was in Somerset with the Fairies, wehad been to Goodwood. I had driven the car both ways and was healthilytired, but the long ride had rendered us all weary, and the prospect ofa full night and a quiet morrow was good to contemplate.
On the following Tuesday we were going out of Town. Of this we were allunfeignedly glad, for London was growing stale. The leaves upon hertrees were blown and dingy, odd pieces of paper crept here and thereinto her parks, the dust was paramount. What sultry air there was seemedto be second-hand. Out of the pounding traffic the pungent reek of oiland fiery metal rose up oppressive. Paint three months old was seamedand freckled. Look where you would, the silver sheen of Spring was dulland tarnished, the very stones were shabby, and in the summer sunshineeven proud buildings of the smartest streets wore but a jaded look andlost their dignity. The vanity of bricks stood out in bold reliefunsightly, dressing the gentle argument of Nature with such authority asset tired senses craving the airs and graces of the countryside andmourning the traditions of the children of men.
"Adele," said Daphne suddenly, "is sailing next week."
"Hurray," said Jill, waking up.
"Liverpool or Southampton?" said I.
"She doesn't say. But I told her to come to Southampton."
"I expect she's got to take what she can get; only, when you're makingfor Hampshire, it seems a pity to go round by the Mersey."
"I like Adele," said Berry. "She never seeks to withstand that feelingof respect which I inspire. When with me, she recognizes that she is inthe presence of a holy sage, and, as it were, treading upon hallowedground. Woman," he added, looking sorrowfully upon his wife, "I couldwish that something of her piety were there to lessen your corruption.Poor vulgar shrew, I weep----"
"She says something about you," said Daphne, turning over a sheet. "Hereyou are. _Give Berry my love. If I'd been with you at Oxford, when hegot busy, I should just have died. All the same, you must admit he's ascream. I'm longing to see Nobby. He sounds as if he were a dog of realcharacter...._"
"Thank you," said her husband, with emotion. "Thank you very much. 'Ascream,' I think you said. Yes. And Nobby, 'a dog of character.' I can'tbear it."
"So he is," said I. "Exceptional character."
"I admit," said Berry, "he's impartial. His worst enemy can't deny that.His offerings at the shrine of Gluttony are just as ample as those helays before the altar of Sloth."
"All dogs are greedy," said Jill. "It's natural. And you'd be tired, ifyou ran about like him."
"He's useful and ornamental and diverting," said I. "I don't know whatmore you want."
"Useful?" said Berry, with a yawn. "Useful? Oh, you mean scavenging? Butthen you discourage him so. Remember that rotten fish in Brook Streetthe other day? Well, he was making a nice clean job of that, he was,when you stopped him."
"That was a work of supererogation. I maintain, however, that nobody canjustly describe Nobby as a useless dog. For instance----"
The sudden opening of the door at once interrupted and upheld mycontention.
Into the room bustled the Sealyham, the personification of importance,with tail up, eyes sparkling, and gripped in his large mouth the letterswhich had just been delivered by the last post.
As the outburst of feminine approval subsided--
"Out of his own mouth," said I, "you stand confuted."
Either of gallantry or because her welcome was the more compelling, theterrier made straight for my sister and pleasedly delivered his burdeninto her hands. Of the three letters she selected two and then, makingmuch of the dog, returned a foolscap envelope to his jaws and instructedhim to bear it to Berry. Nobby received it greedily, but it was onlywhen he had simultaneously spun into the air, growled and, placing anemphatic paw upon the projecting end, torn the letter half-way asunder,that it became evident that he was regarding her return of the missiveas a _douceur_ or reward of his diligence.
With a cry my brother-in-law sprang to enlighten him; but Nobby, hailinghis action as the first move in a game of great promise, darted out ofhis reach, tore round the room at express speed, and streaked into thehall.
By dint of an immediate rush to the library door, we were just in timeto see Berry slip on the parquet and, falling heavily, miss the terrierby what was a matter of inches, and by the time we had helped oneanother upstairs, the medley of worrying and imprecations which emanatedfrom Daphne's bedroom made it clear that the quarry had gone to ground.
As we drew breath in the doorway--
"Get him from the other side!" yelled Berry, who was lying flat on hisface, with one arm under the bed. "Quick! It may be unsporting, but Idon't care. A-a-ah!" His voice rose to a menacing roar, as the rendingof paper became distinctly audible. "Stop it, you wicked swine! D'youhear? _Stop it!_"
From beneath the bed a further burst of mischief answered him....
Once again feminine subtlety prevailed where the straightforward effortsof a man were fruitless. As I flung myself down upon the opposite sideof the bed--
"Nobby," said Jill in a stage whisper, "chocolates!"
The terrier paused in his work of destruction. Then he dropped themangled remains of the letter and put his head on one side.
"Chocolates!"
The next second he was scrambling towards the foot of the bed....
I gathered together the _debris_ and rose to my feet.
Nobby was sitting up in front of Jill, begging irresistibly.
"What a shame!" said the latter. "And I haven't any for you. And if Ihad, I mightn't give you them." She looked round appealingly. "Isn't hecute?"
"Extraordinary how that word'll fetch him," said I. "I think his latemistress must have----"
"I'm sure she must," said Berry, taking the ruins of his correspondenceout of my hand. "Perhaps she also taught him to collect stamps. And / orcrests. And do you mean to say you've got no chocolates for him? Howshameful! I'd better run round and knock up Gunter's. Shall I slip on acoat, or will the parquet do?"
"There's no vice in him," I said shakily. "It was a misunderstanding."
With an awful look Berry gingerly withdrew from what remained of theenvelope some three-fifths of a dilapidated dividend warrant, whichlooked as if it had been immersed in water and angrily disputed by anumber of rats.
&nb
sp; "It's--it's all right," I said unsteadily. "The company'll give youanother."
"Give me air," said Berry weakly. "Open the wardrobe, somebody, and giveme air. You know, this is the violation of Belgium over again. Thelittle angel must have been the mascot of a double-breasted Jaegerbattalion in full blast." With a shaking finger he indicated the cheque."Bearing this in mind, which would you say he was to-night--useful orornamental?"
"Neither the one, nor the other," said I. "Merely diverting."
Expectantly my brother-in-law regarded the ceiling.
"I wonder what's holding it," he said. "I suppose the whitewash hasseized. And now, if you'll assist me downstairs and apply the usualrestoratives, I'll forgive you the two pounds I owe you. There's aletter I want to write before I retire."
Half an hour later the following letter was dispatched--
_SIR,_
_The enclosed are, as a patient scrutiny will reveal, the remains of adividend warrant in my favour for seventy-two pounds five shillings._
_Owing to its dilapidation, which you will observe includes the totalloss of the date, signature and stamp, I am forced to the reluctantconclusion that your bankers will show a marked disinclination to honourwhat was once a valuable security._
_Its reduction to the lamentable condition in which you now see it isdue to the barbarous treatment it received at the teeth and claws of adog or hound which, I regret to say, has recently frequented this houseand is indubitably possessed of a malignant devil._
_In fairness to myself I must add, first, that it was through noimprovidence on my part that the domestic animal above referred toobtained possession of the document, and, secondly, that I made suchdesperate efforts to recover it intact as resulted in my sustaining afall of considerable violence upon one of the least resilient floors Ihave ever encountered. If you do not believe me, your duly accreditedrepresentative is at liberty to inspect the many and various contusionsupon my person any day between ten and eleven at the above address.Yours faithfully,_
_etc._
_P.S.--My cousin-german has just read this through, and says I've leftout something. I think the fat-head is being funny, but I just mentionit, in case._
_P.P.S.--It's just occurred to me that the fool means I haven't askedyou to send me another one. But you will, won't you?_
* * * * *
For no apparent reason I was suddenly awake.
Invariably a sound sleeper, I lay for a moment pondering the phenomenon.Then a low growl from the foot of the bed furnished one explanation onlyto demand another.
I put up a groping hand and felt for the dangling switch.
For a moment I fumbled. Then from above my head a deeply-shaded lampflung a sudden restricted light on to the bed.
I raised myself on an elbow and looked at Nobby.
His body was still curled, with his small strong legs tucked out ofsight, but his head was raised, and he was listening intently.
I put my head on one side and did the same....
Only the hoot of a belated car faintly disturbed the silence.
I looked at my wrist-watch. This showed one minute to one. As I raisedmy eyes, an impatient clock somewhere confirmed its tale.
With a yawn I conjured the terrier to go to sleep and reached for theswitch.
As I did so, he growled again.
With my fingers about the "push," I hesitated, straining my ears....
The next moment I was out of bed and fighting my way into mydressing-gown, while Nobby, his black nose clapped to the sill of thedoorway, stood tense and rigid and motionless as death.
As I picked him up, he began to quiver, and I could feel his heartthumping, but he seemed to appreciate the necessity for silence, andlicked my face noiselessly.
I switched off the light and opened the door.
There was a lamp burning on the landing, and I stepped directly to thetop of the stairs.
Except that there was a faint light somewhere upon the ground floor, Icould see nothing, but, as I stood peering, the sound of a stealthymovement, followed by the low grumble of utterance, rose unmistakably tomy ears. Under my left arm Nobby stiffened notably.
For a moment I stood listening and thinking furiously....
It was plain that there was more than one visitor, for burglars do nottalk to themselves, and Discretion suggested that I should seekassistance before descending. Jonah was out of Town, the men-servantsslept in the basement, the telephone was downstairs. Only Berryremained.
The faint chink of metal meeting metal and a stifled laugh decided me.
With the utmost caution I stole to the door of my sister's room andturned the handle. As I glided into the chamber--
"Who's that?" came in a startled whisper.
Before I could answer, there was a quick rustle, a switch clicked, andthere was Daphne, propped on a white arm, looking at me with wide eyesand parted lips. Her beautiful dark hair was tumbling about her breastand shoulders. Impatiently she brushed it clear of her face.
"What is it, Boy?"
I laid a finger upon my lips.
"There's somebody downstairs. Wake Berry."
Slowly her husband rolled on to his left side and regarded me with oneeye.
"What," he said, "is the meaning of this intrusion?"
"Don't be a fool," I whispered. "The house is being burgled."
"Gurgled?"
"Burgled, you fool."
"No such word," said Berry. "What you mean is 'burglariously rifled.'And then you're wrong. Why, there's Nobby."
I could have stamped with vexation.
My sister took up the cudgels.
"Don't lie there," she said. "Get up and see."
"What?" said her husband.
"What's going on."
Berry swallowed before replying. Then--
"How many are there?" he demanded.
"You poisonous idiot," I hissed, "I tell you----"
"Naughty temper," said Berry. "I admit I'm in the wrong but there youare. You see, it all comes of not wearing rings. If I did, I should haveremembered that a wire came from Jonah just before dinner--it's in mydinner-jacket--saying he was coming up late to-night with Harry, andthat if the latter couldn't get in at the Club, he should bring him onhere. He had the decency to add 'Don't sit up.'"
Daphne and I exchanged glances of withering contempt.
"And where," said my sister, "is Harry going to sleep?"
Her husband settled himself contentedly.
"That," he said drowsily, "is what's worrying me."
"Outrageous," said Daphne. Then she turned to me. "It's too late to doanything now. Will you go down and explain? Perhaps he can manage in thelibrary. Unless Jonah likes to give up his bed."
"I'll do what I can," I said, taking a cigarette from the box by herside.
"Oh, and do ask if it's true about Evelyn."
"Right oh. I'll tell you as I come back."
"I forbid you," murmured her husband, "to re-enter this room."
I kissed my sister, lobbed a novel on to my brother-in-law's back, andwithdrew before he had time to retaliate. Then I stepped barefootdownstairs, to perform my mission.
With the collapse of the excitement, Nobby's suspicion shrank intocuriosity, his muscles relaxed, and he stopped quivering. So infectiousa thing is perturbation.
The door of the library was ajar, and the thin strip of light whichissued was enough to guide me across the hall. The parquet was cold tothe touch, and I began to regret that I had not returned for myslippers.
As I pushed the door open--
"I say, Jonah," I said, "that fool Berry----"
It was with something of a shock that I found myself looking directlyalong the barrel of a .45 automatic pistol, which a stout gentleman,wearing a green mask, white kid gloves, and immaculate evening-dress,was pointing immediately at my nose.
"There now," he purred. "I was going to say, 'Hands up.' Just like that.'Hands up.' It's so romantic. But I hadn't expected t
he dog. Suppose youput your right hand up."
I shook my head.
"I want that for my cigarette," I said.
For a moment we stood looking at one another. Then my fat _vis-a-vis_began to shake with laughter.
"You know," he gurgled, "this is most irregular. It's enough to makeJack Sheppard turn in his grave. It is really. However.... As aninveterate smoker, I feel for you. So we'll have a compromise." Henodded towards an armchair which stood by the window. "You go and sitdown in that extremely comfortable armchair--sit well back--and we won'tsay any more about the hands."
As he spoke, he stepped forward. Nobby received him with a venomousgrowl, and to my amazement the fellow immediately caressed him.
"Dogs always take to me," he added. "I'm sure I don't know why, but it'sa great help."
To my mortification, the Sealyham proved to be no exception to the rule.I could feel his tail going.
As in a dream, I crossed to the chair and sat down. As I moved, thepistol moved also.
"I hate pointing this thing at you," said the late speaker. "It's sosuggestive. If you'd care to give me your word, you know.... Betweengentlemen...."
"I make no promises," I snapped.
The other sighed.
"Perhaps you're right," he said. "Lean well back, please.... That'sbetter."
The consummate impudence of the rogue intensified the atmosphere ofunreality, which was most distracting. Doggedly my bewildered brain waslabouring in the midst of a litter of fiction, which had suddenlychanged into truth. The impossible had come to pass. The cracksman ofthe novel had come to life, and I was reluctantly witnessing, incomparative comfort and at my own expense, an actual exhibition offelony enriched with all the spices which the cupboard of Sensationcontains.
The monstrous audacity of the proceedings, and the business-like way inwhich they were conducted, were almost stupefying.
Most of the silver in the house, including a number of pieces, ourpossession of which I had completely forgotten, seemed to have beencollected and laid in rough order upon rugs, which had been piled oneupon the other to deaden noise. One man was taking it up, piece bypiece, scrutinizing it with an eye-glass such as watchmakers use, anddictating descriptions and particulars to a second, who was seated atthe broad writing-table, entering the details, in triplicate, in a largeorder-book. By his side a third manipulated a pair of scales, weighingeach piece with the greatest care and reporting the result to thesecond, who added the weight to the description. Occasionally the latterpaused to draw at a cigarette, which lay smouldering in the ash-tray byhis side. As each piece was weighed, the third handed it to a fourthassistant, who wrapped it in a bag of green baize and laid it gently inan open suit-case. Four other cases stood by his side, all bearing anumber of labels and more or less the worse for wear.
All four men were masked and gloved, and working with a rapidity andmethod which were remarkable. With the exception of the packer, who worea footman's livery, they were attired in evening-dress.
"We find it easier," said the master, as if interpreting my thoughts,"to do it all on the spot. Then it's over and done with. I do hopeyou're insured," he added. "I always think it's so much moresatisfactory."
"Up to the hilt," said I cheerfully. "We had it all re-valued only thisyear, because of the rise in silver."
"Splendid!"--enthusiastically. "But I'm neglecting you." With his lefthand the rogue picked up an ash-tray and stepped to my side. Then hebacked to the mantelpiece, whence he picked up and brought me a handfulof cigarettes, laying them on the broad arm of my chair. "I'm afraid thebox has gone," he said regretfully. "May I mix you a drink?"
I shook my head.
"I've had my ration. If I'd known, I'd have saved some. You see, I don'tsit up so late, as a rule."
He shrugged his shoulders.
As he did so, my own last words rang familiarly in my ears: "I don't situp so late" ... "Don't sit up." ...
Jonah! He and Harry were due to arrive any moment!
Hope leaped up within me, and my heart began to beat violently. Iglanced at the silver, still lying upon the rugs. Slowly it wasdiminishing, and the services of a second suit-case would soon benecessary. I calculated that to complete the bestowal would take thebest part of an hour, and began to speculate upon the course eventswould take when the travellers appeared. I began to pray fervently thatHarry would be unable to get in at the Club....
"Now, then, you three," said a reproving voice. "I'm surprised at you."
Daphne!
The rogues were trained to a hair.
Before she was framed in the doorway, the cold steel of another weaponwas pressing against my throat, and the master was bowing in herdirection.
"Madam, I beg that you will neither move nor cry out."
My sister stood like a statue. Only the rise and fall of her bosomshowed that she was alive. Pale as death, her eyes riveted on thespeaker, who was holding his right hand markedly behind him, her unboundhair streaming over her shoulders, she made a beautiful and arrestingpicture. A kimono of softest apricot, over which sprawled vividembroideries, here in the guise of parti-coloured dragons, there in thatof a wanton butterfly, swathed her from throat to foot. From the mouthsof its gaping sleeves her shapely wrists and hands thrust out snow-whiteand still as sculpture.
For a moment all eyes were upon her, as she stood motionless.... Thenthe man with the eye-glass screwed it back into his eye, and resumed hisdictation....
The spell was broken.
The packer left his work and, lifting a great chair bodily with apparentease, set it noiselessly by my side.
The master bowed again.
"I congratulate you, madam, upon your great heart. I beg that you willjoin that gentleman."
With a high head, My Lady Disdain swept to the spot indicated and sankinto the chair.
"Please lean right back.... Thank you."
The cold steel was withdrawn from my throat, and I breathed more freely.
Nobby wriggled to get to my sister, but I held him fast.
"So it was burglars," said Daphne.
"Looks like it," said I.
I glanced at the leader, who had taken his seat upon the club-kerb. Hisright hand appeared to be resting upon his knee.
"I think," said my sister, "I'll have a cigarette." I handed her onefrom the pile and lighted it from my own. As I did so--
"_Courage,_" I whispered. "_Jonah ne tardera pas._"
"I beg," said the spokesman, "that you will not whisper together. Ittends to create an atmosphere of mistrust."
My sister inclined her head with a silvery laugh.
"You have a large staff," she said.
"That is my way. I am not a believer in the lone hand. But there youare. _Quot homines, tot sententicae,"_ and with that, he spread out hishands and shrugged his broad shoulders.
Daphne raised her delicate eyebrows and blew out a cloud of smoke.
"'The fewer men,'" she quoted, "'the greater share of--_plunder_.'"
The shoulders began to shake.
"_Touche,_" was the reply. "A pretty thrust, madam. But you must readfurther on. 'And gentlemen in _Mayfair_ now abed Shall think themselvesaccursed they were not here.' Shall we say that--er--honours are easy?"And the old villain fairly rocked with merriment.
Daphne laughed airily.
"Good for you," she said. "As a matter of fact, sitting here, severalthings look extremely easy."
"So, on the whole, they are. Mind you, lookers-on see the easy side. Andyou, madam, are a very privileged spectator."
"I have paid for my seat," flashed my sister.
"Royally. Still, deadhead or not, a spectator you are, and, as such, yousee the easy side. Now, one of the greatest dangers that can befall athief is avarice."
"I suppose you're doing this out of charity," I blurted.
"Listen. Many a promising career of--er--appropriation has come to anabrupt and sordid end, and all because success but whetted where itshould have satisfied." He addressed m
y sister. "Happily for you, you donot sleep in your pearls. Otherwise, since you are here, I might havefallen... Who knows? As it is, pearls, diamonds and the emeraldbracelets that came from Prague--you see, madam, I know them all--willlie upstairs untouched. I came for silver, and I shall take nothingelse. Some day, perhaps..."
The quiet sing-song of his voice faded, and only the murmur of theceaseless dictation remained. Then that, too, faltered and died....
For a second master and men stood motionless. Then the former pointed toDaphne and me, and Numbers Three and Four whipped to our side.
Somebody, whistling softly, was descending the stairs....
Just as it became recognizable the air slid out of a whistle into asong, and my unwitting brother-in-law invested the last two lines withall the mockery of pathos of which his inferior baritone voice wascapable.
"I'm for ever b-b-blowing b-b-bub-b-bles,B-blinkin' b-bub-b-bles in the air."
He entered upon the last word, started ever so slightly at hisreception, and then stood extremely still.
"Bubbles be blowed," he said. "B-b-burglars, what? Shall I moisten thelips? Or would you rather I wore a sickly smile? I should like it to bea good photograph. You know, you can't touch me, Reggibald. I'm inbalk." His eyes wandered round the room. "Why, there's Nobby. And what'sthe game? Musical Chairs? I know a better one than that." His eyesreturned to the master. "Now, don't you look and I'll hide in thehassock! Then, when I say 'Cuckoo,' you put down the musket and wish.Then--excuse me."
Calmly he twitched a Paisley shawl from the back of the sofa and crossedto his wife. Tenderly he wrapped it about her feet and knees. By thetime he had finished a third chair was awaiting him, and Numbers Threeand Four had returned to their work.
"Pray sit down," drawled the master. "And lean well back.... That'sright. You know, I'm awfully sorry you left your bed."
"Don't mention it," said Berry. "I wouldn't have missed this for anything. How's Dartmoor looking?"
The fat rogue sighed.
"I have not had a holiday," he said, "for nearly two years. And nightwork tells, you know. Of course I rest during the day, but it isn't thesame."
"How wicked! And they call this a free country. I should see your M.P.about it. Or wasn't he up when you called?"
The other shook his head.
"As a matter of fact," he said, "he was out of Town. George, give thegentleman a match." The packer picked up a match-stand and set it byBerry's side. "I'm so sorry about the chocolates. You see, I wasn'texpecting----Hullo!"
At the mention of the magical word Nobby had leapt from my unready graspand trotted across to the fireplace. There, to my disgust and vexation,he fixed the master with an expectant stare, and then sat up upon hishindquarters and begged a sweatmeat.
His favourer began to heave with merriment.
"What an engaging scrap!" he wheezed, taking a chocolate from anoccasional table upon which the contents of a dessert dish hadapparently been emptied. "Here, my little apostate.... Well caught!"
With an irrational rapidity the Sealyham disposed of the first comfit hehad been given for more than six months. Then he resumed the attractiveposture which he had found so profitable. Lazily his patron continued torespond....
Resentfully I watched the procedure, endeavouring to console myself withthe reflection that in a few hours Nature would assuredly administer tothe backslider a more terrible and appropriate correction than any thatI could devise.
Would Jonah never come?
I stole a glance at the clock. Five and twenty minutes to two. And whenhe did come, what then? Were he and Harry to blunder into the sloughwaist-high, as we had done? Impossible. There was probably a manoutside--possibly a car, which would set them thinking. Then, even ifthe brutes got away, their game would be spoiled. It wouldn't be such ahumiliating walk-over. Oh, why had Daphne come down? Her presence putany attempt at action out of the question. And why....
A taxi slowed for a distant corner and turned into the street. For amoment it seemed to falter. Then its speed was changed clumsily, and itbegan to grind its way in our direction. My heart began to beatviolently. Again the speed was changed, and the rising snarl choked togive way to a metallic murmur, which was rapidly approaching. I couldhardly breathe.... Then the noise swelled up, hung for an instant uponthe very crest of earshot, only to sink abruptly as the cab swept past,taking our hopes with it.
Two-thirds of the silver had disappeared.
Berry cleared his throat.
"You know," he said, "this is an education. In my innocence I thoughtthat a burglar shoved his swag in a sack and then pushed off, and didthe rest in the back parlour of a beer-house in Notting Dale. As it is,my only wonder is that you didn't bring a brazier and a couple ofmelting-pots."
"Not my job," was the reply. "I'm not a receiver. Besides, you don'tthink that all this beautiful silver is to be broken up?" The horror ofhis uplifted hands would have been more convincing if both of them hadbeen empty. "Why, in a very little while, particularly if you travel,you will have every opportunity of buying It back again in open market."
"But how comic," said Berry. "I should think you're a favourite atLloyd's. D'you mind if I blow my nose? Or would that be a _casusbelli_?"
"Not at all"--urbanely. "Indeed, if you would care to give me yourword...."
Berry shook his head.
"Honour among thieves?" he said. "Unfortunately I'm honest, so you musthave no truck with me. Never mind. D'you touch cards at all? Or only atEpsom?"
Beneath the green mask the mouth tightened, and I could see that thetaunt had gone home. No man likes to be whipped before his underlings.
Nobby profited by the master's silence, and had devoured two morechocolates before Berry spoke again--this time to me.
"Gentleman seems annoyed," he remarked. "I do hope he hasn'tmisconstrued anything I've said. D'you think we ought to offer himbreakfast? Of course, five is rather a lot, but I dare say one of themis a vegetarian, and you can pretend you don't care for haddock. Or theymay have some tripe downstairs. You never know. And afterwards we couldrun them back to Limehouse. By the way, I wonder if I ought to tell himabout the silver which-not. It's only nickel, but I don't want to keepanything back. Oh, and what about the dividend warrant? Of course itwants riveting and--er--forging, and I don't think they'd recognize it,but he could try. If I die before he goes, ask him to leave his address;then, if he leaves anything behind, the butler can send it on. Iremember I left a pair of bed-socks once at Chatsworth. The Duke neversent them on, but then they were perishable. Besides, one of themfollowed me as far as Leicester. Instinct, you know. I wrote to _TheField_ about it." He paused to shift uneasily in his seat. "You know, ifI have to sustain this pose much longer, I shall get railway spine or ahare lip or something."
"Hush," said I. "What did Alfred Austin say in 1895?"
"I know," said Berry. "'Comrades, leave me here a little, while as yet'tis early morn.' Precisely. But then all his best work was admittedlydone under the eiderdown."
The clock upon the wall was chiming the hour. Two o'clock.
Would Jonah never come?
I fancy the same query renewed its hammering at Berry's brain, for,after a moment's reflection, he turned to the master.
"I don't wish to presume upon your courtesy," he said, "but will theexecutive portion of your night's work finish when that remainingtreasure has been bestowed?"
"So far as you are concerned."
"Oh, another appointment! Of course, this 'summer time' stunt gives youanother hour, doesn't it? Well, I must wish you a warmer welcome."
"That were impossible," was the bland reply "Once or twice, I mustconfess, I thought you a little--er, equivocal, but let that pass. Ionly regret that Mrs. Pleydell, particularly, should have been so muchinconvenienced."
"Don't mention it," said Berry. "As a matter of fact, we're all verypleased to have met you. You have interested us more than I can say,with true chivalry you have abstained from murder and mutilation, andyou hav
e suffered me to blow my nose, when a less courteous visitorwould have obliged me to sniff with desperate and painful regularity fornearly half an hour. Can generosity go further?"
The rogue upon the club-kerb began to shake with laughter again.
"You're a good loser," he crowed. "I'll give you that. I'm quite gladyou came down. Most of my hosts I never see, and that's dull, you know,dull. And those I do are so often--er--unsympathetic. Yes, I shallremember to-night."
"Going to change his rings," murmured Berry.
"And now the highly delicate question of our departure is, I am afraid,imminent. To avoid exciting impertinent curiosity, you will appreciatethat we must take our leave as artlessly as possible, and that the orderof our going must be characterized by no unusual circumstance, such, forinstance, as a hue and cry. Anything so vulgar as a scene must at allcosts be obviated. Excuse me. Blake!"
Confederate Number One stepped noiselessly to his side and listened insilence to certain instructions, which were to us inaudible.
I looked about me.
The last of the silver had disappeared. The packer was dismantling thescales as a preliminary to laying them in the last suit-case. The clerkwas fastening together the sheets which he had detached from the flimsyorder-book. Number Three had taken a light overcoat from a chair and wasputting it on. And the time was six minutes past two....
And what of Jonah? He and Harry would probably arrive about five minutestoo late. I bit my lip savagely....
Again the chief malefactor lifted up his voice.
"It is my experience," he drawled, "that temerity is born, if not ofcuriosity, then of ignorance. Now, if there is one vice more thananother which I deplore, it is temerity--especially when it is displayedby a host at two o'clock of a morning. I am therefore going to the rootof the matter. In short, I propose to satisfy your very naturalcuriosity regarding our method of departure, and, incidentally, to showyou exactly what you are up against. You see, I believe in prevention."His utterance of the last sentences was more silky than ever.
"The constables who have passed this house since half-past twelve will,if reasonably observant, have noticed the carpet which, upon entering,we laid upon the steps. A departure of guests, therefore, even at thisadvanced hour, should arouse no more suspicion than thelimousine-landaulette which has now been waiting for some nine minutes.
"The lights in the hall will now be turned on, the front door will beopened wide, and the footman will place the suit-cases in the car, atthe open door of which he will stand, while my colleagues and I--I needhardly say by this time unmasked--emerge at our leisure, chatting in amost ordinary way.
"I shall be the last to enter the car--I beg your pardon. To-night Ishall be the last but one"--for an instant he halted, as if to emphasizethe correction--"and my entry will coincide with what is a favourableopportunity for the footman to assume the cap and overcoat which he mustof necessity wear if his closing of the front door and subsequentoccupation of the seat by the chauffeur are to excite no remark.... Yousee, I try to think of everything."
He paused for a moment, regarding the tips of his fingers, as thoughthey were ungloved. Then--
"Your presence here presents no difficulty. Major and Mrs. Pleydell willstay in this room, silent ... and motionless ... and detaining the dog.You"--nonchalantly he pointed an extremely ugly trench-dagger in mydirection--"will vouch with your--er--health for their observance ofthese conditions. Be good enough to stand up and place your hands behindyou."
With a glance at Berry, I rose. All things considered, there was nothingelse to be done.
The man whom he had addressed as "Blake" picked up Nobby and, crossingthe room, laid the terrier in Berry's arms. Then he lashed my wriststogether with the rapidity of an expert.
"Understand, I take no chances." A harsh note had crept into the eventones. "The slightest indiscretion will cost this gentleman extremelydear."
I began to hope very much that my brother-in-law would appreciate theadvisability of doing as he had been told.
"George, my coat." The voice was as suave as ever again. "Thank you. Iseverything ready?"
Berry stifled a yawn.
"You don't mean to say," he exclaimed, "that you're actually going? Dearme. Well, well.... I don't suppose you've a card on you? No. Sorry. Ishould have liked to remember you in my prayers. Never mind. And youdon't happen to know of a good plain cook, do you? No. I thought not.Well, if you should hear of one...."
"Carry on."
Blake laid a hand on my shoulder and urged me towards the door. As I wasgoing, I saw the master bow.
"Mrs. Pleydell," he said, "I have the honour----Dear me! There's thatridiculous word again. Never mind--the honour to bid _adieu_ to a mostbrave lady."
With a faint sneer my sister regarded him. Then--
"_Au revoir,_" she said steadily.
"So long, old bean," said Berry. "See you at Vine Street."
As I passed into the hall, the lights went up and a cap was clapped onto my head and pulled down tight over my eyes. Then I was thrust into acorner of the hall, close to the front door. Immediately this wasopened, and I could hear everything happen as we had been led to expect.Only there was a hand on my shoulder....
I heard the master coming with a jest on his lips.
As he passed me, he was speaking ostensibly to one of his comrades ...ostensibly....
"I shouldn't wait up for Jonah," he said.
* * * * *
Thanks to the fact that one of the Assistant Commissioners of Police wasan old friend of mine, we were spared much of the tedious interrogationand well-meant, but in the circumstances utterly futile, attentions ofthe subordinate officers of the C.I.D.
Admission to the house had been gained without breaking, and there wereno finger-prints. Moreover, since our visitors had worn masks, suchdescriptions of them as we could give were very inadequate. However,statements were taken from my sister, Berry and myself, and the spurioustelegram was handed over. The insurance company was, of course, informedof the crime.
Despite the paucity of detail, our description of the gang and itsmethods aroused tremendous excitement at Scotland Yard. The master, itappeared, was a veritable Prince of Darkness. Save that he existed, andwas a man of large ideas and the utmost daring, to whose charge half thegreat unplaced robberies of recent years were, rightly or wrongly, laid,little or nothing was known of his manners or personality.
"I tell you," said the Assistant Commissioner, leaning back and tiltinghis chair, "he's just about as hot as they make 'em. And when we do takehim, if ever we do--and that might be to-morrow, or in ten years'time--we might walk straight into him next week with the stuff in hishands; you never know--well, when we do take him, as like as not, he'llprove to be a popular M.P., or a recognized authority on livestock orsomething. You've probably seen him heaps of times in St. James's, and,as like as not, he's a member of your own Club. Depend upon it, the oldsinner moves in those circles which you know are above suspicion. Ifsomebody pinched your watch at Ascot, you'd never look for the thief inthe enclosure, would you? Of course not. Well, I may be wrong, but Idon't think so. Meanwhile let's have some lunch."
For my sister the ordeal had been severe, and for the thirty hoursfollowing the robbery she had kept her bed. Berry had contracted aslight cold, and I was not one penny the worse. Jill was overcome tolearn what she had missed, and the reflection that she had mercifullyslept upstairs, while such a drama was being enacted upon the groundfloor, rendered her inconsolable. Jonah was summoned by telegram, andcame pelting from Somerset, to be regaled with a picturesque account ofthe outrage, the more purple features of which he at first regarded asembroidery, and for some time flatly refused to believe. As was to beexpected, Nobby paid for his treachery with an attack of biliousness,the closing stages of which were terrible to behold. At one time itseemed as if no constitution could survive such an upheaval; but,although the final convulsion left him subdued and listless, he was asright as eve
r upon the following morning.
The next Sunday we registered what was to be our last attendance ofChurch Parade for at least three months.
By common consent we had that morning agreed altogether to eschew thesubject of crime. Ever since it had happened we had discussed the greatadventure so unceasingly that, as Berry had remarked at breakfast, itwas more than likely that, unless we were to take an immediate and firmline with ourselves, we should presently get Grand Larceny on the brain,and run into some danger of qualifying, not only for admission toBroadmoor, but for detention in that institution till His Majesty'spleasure should be known. For the first hour or two which followed ourresolution we either were silent or discussed other comparativelyuninteresting matters in a preoccupied way; but gradually lack ofventilation began to tell, and the consideration of the robbery grewless absorbent.
As we entered the Park at Stanhope Gate--
"Boy, aren't you glad Adele's coming?" said Jill.
I nodded abstractedly.
"Rather."
"You never said so the other night."
"Didn't I?"
"I suppose, if she comes to Southampton, you'll go to meet her. May Icome with you?"
"Good heavens, yes. Why shouldn't you?"
"Oh, I don't know. I thought, perhaps, you'd rather...."
I whistled to Nobby, whose disregard of traffic was occasionallyconducive to heart failure. As he came cantering up--
"Adele isn't my property," I said.
"I know, but...."
"But what?"
"I've never seen Nobby look so clean," said Jill, with a daringirrelevance that took my breath away.
"I observe," said I, "that you are growing up. Your adolescence is athand. You are fast emerging from the chrysalis of girlish innocence,eager to show yourself a pert and scheming butterfly." My cousinregarded me with feigned bewilderment. "Yes, you've got the baby stareall right, but you must learn to control that little red mouth. WatchDaphne."
Jill made no further endeavour to restrain the guilty laughter which wastrembling upon her lips.
"I b-believe you just love her," she bubbled.
I thought very rapidly. Then--
"I think we all do," said I. "She's very attractive."
"I mean it," said Jill.
"So do I. Look at her ears. Oh, I forgot. Hides them under her hair,doesn't she? Her eyes, then."
"I observe," said Jill pompously, "that you are sitting up and takingnotice. Your adol--adol--er--what you said, is at hand. You are emergingfrom the chrysalis of ignorance----"
"This is blasphemy. You wicked girl. And what are you getting at?Matchmaking or only blackmail?"
"Well, it's time you got married, isn't it? I don't want you to, dear,but I know you've got to soon, and--and I'd like you to be happy."
There was a little catch in her voice, and I looked down to see her eyesshining.
"Little Jill," I said, "if I marry six wives, I shall still be in lovewith my cousin--a little fair girl, with great grey eyes and theprettiest ways and a heart of the purest gold. And now shall we cry hereor by The Serpentine?"
She caught at my arm, laughing.
"Boy, you're very----Oh, I say! Where's Nobby?"
We had reached the Achilles Statue, and a hurried retrospect showed methe terrier some thirty paces away, exchanging discourtesies with anAberdeen. The two were walking round each other with a terribledeliberation, and from their respective demeanours it was transparentlyclear that only an immediate distraction could avert the scandal of adistressing brawl.
Regardless of my surroundings, I summoned the Sealyham in my "parade"voice. To my relief he started and, after a menacing look at hisopponent, presumably intended to discourage an attack in rear,cautiously withdrew from his presence and, once out of range, camescampering in our direction.
My brother-in-law and Daphne, whom we had outdistanced, arrived at thesame time.
As I was reproving the terrier--
"The very people," said a familiar voice.
It was the Assistant Commissioner, labouring under excitement which hewith difficulty suppressed. He had been hurrying, and was out of breath.
"I want you to cross the road and walk along by the side of The Row," hesaid jerkily. "If you see anyone you recognize, take off your hat. And,Mrs. Pleydell, you lower your parasol."
"But, my dear chap," said Berry, "they were all masked."
"Well, if you recognize a voice, or even----"
"A voice? My dear fellow, we're in the open air. Besides, what jury----"
"For Heaven's sake," cried the other, "do as I ask I I know it's achance in a million. Think me mad, call me a fool--anything you like ...but go."
His earnestness was irresistible.
I whistled to Nobby--who had seized the opportunity of straying,apparently by accident, towards a bull-terrier--and started to stroll inthe direction of The Row. Jill walked beside me, twittering, and aglance over my shoulder showed me my sister and Berry a horse's lengthbehind. Behind them, again, came the Assistant Commissioner.
We crossed the road and entered the walk he had mentioned.
It was a beautiful day. The great sun flamed out of a perfect sky, andthere was little or no wind. With the exception of a riding-master andtwo little girls The Row was empty, but the walk was as crowded as acomfortably filled ball-room, if you except the dancers who are sittingout; for, while three could walk abreast with small inconvenience eitherto others or themselves, there was hardly a seat to spare.
I have seen smarter parades. It was clear that many _habitues_ hadalready left Town, and that a number of visitors had already arrived.But there was apparent the same quiet air of gaiety, the same goodhumour which fine feathers bring, and, truth to tell, less _ennui_ andmore undisguised enjoyment than I can ever remember.
Idly I talked with Jill, not thinking what I said nor noticing what sheanswered, but my heart was pounding against my ribs, and I was glancingincessantly from side to side in a fever of fear lest I should miss theobvious.
Now and again I threw a look over my shoulder. Always Berry and Daphnewere close behind. Fervently I wished that they were in front.
I began to walk more slowly....
Suddenly I realized that I was streaming with sweat.
As I felt for my handkerchief--
"Look at Nobby," said Jill. "Whatever's he doing?"
I glanced at my cousin to follow the direction of her eyes.
_Nobby was sitting up, begging, before a large elderly gentleman who wasseated, immaculately dressed, some six paces away. He was affecting notto see the terrier, but there was a queer frozen look about his broadsmile that set me staring. Even as I gazed he lowered his eyes andlifting a hand from his knee, began to regard the tips of his fingers,as though they were ungloved...._
For a second I stood spellbound.
Then I took off my hat.
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