By Reason, by Reflection, by Everything

by P. O. Dixon

  “When exactly is Mr. Darcy expected to arrive?”

  “He arrives the day after tomorrow.”

  “In two days!”

  “Lizzy, I know not how matters were between the two of you when you left Pemberley, but I suspect there was some sort of misunderstanding. I know you do not like to talk about it, and I will understand completely if you would rather not be here at Netherfield when he comes.”

  “Did Mr. Darcy say he comes specifically because of Charles’ invitation?”

  “Actually, I suspect his reasoning has to do with attending affairs of a more personal nature.”

  “Why? What did he say?”

  “It is more a matter of what he did not say.”

  Chapter 32

  Much to Conceal

  Thoughts that she was within days of coming face to face with Mr. Darcy for the first time since they were together at Pemberley kept Elizabeth from falling asleep. Despite the house having settled a while ago, the hour was not that late. Such early ends to evenings at Netherfield were, no doubt, a consequence of residing with newlyweds, Elizabeth suspected.

  She wanted to do anything but think about what the days and possibly weeks to come would bring. That she and Mr. Darcy would be forced to endure each other’s company after the things he had written in his letter was too much to bear. But bear it, she would and with all the cordiality she could summon.

  He was Bingley’s best friend, after all. The possibility that Mr. Darcy might visit his friend had always been a strong one, especially after the two reconciled any ill-will that might have resulted owing to the elopement.

  Elizabeth shrugged. What is the alternative? Shall I remove myself to Longbourn for the duration of Mr. Darcy’s visit?

  She bit her lower lip in contemplation. I suppose I might. I shall first see how the gentleman behaves and then I shall know exactly what I must do.

  With such a resolve, Elizabeth sat up in bed, fluffed her pillows, and settled down once again. At length, sleep simply would not come. An avalanche of painful reflections on those final hours leading up to her precipitous departure from Pemberley completely overwhelmed her.

  Not for the first time, she recalled the conversation she had with her father once their carriage was on the road to Longbourn.

  “Are you quite all right, my Lizzy?” Mr. Bennet had asked in the face of her silence brought on by all the misery of those final frantic hours at Pemberley.

  “Yes, Papa.”

  “I ask because you were barely civil to Mr. Darcy. I was of the opinion the two of you got along exceedingly well—indeed, admired each other a great deal.”

  “No, Papa.”

  “No, you say? I do not believe it. I have seen the way he gazed at you when he thought no one was looking.”

  “If indeed such was the case, it is exceedingly likely that he was looking at me merely to find fault.” Endeavoring to change the direction of the conversation, Elizabeth said, “In my estimation, he has a very satirical eye, and he welds it much like a sword in an unrelenting effort to erect barriers between himself and those whom he deems beneath him in consequence.”

  “Surely, you do not believe such a thing, my dear. Therefore, I must conclude that your speech is merely a result of your wont to profess opinions which in fact are not your own.”

  With so much to conceal from her father—indeed, the world in general, Elizabeth proceeded to open her book. She flipped through the pages until she reached the place she left off in her story. She knew her father too well to suppose he would not follow suit and thus her mission was accomplished, and they had spoken no more on the subject of the haughty gentleman, at least nothing pertaining to her suspected admiration.

  Remembering she left another book she had begun reading the day before in the library, she got out of bed. After donning a robe, she headed downstairs. Upon reaching the door, she recalled her last evening at Pemberley.

  Had I gone directly to the library to meet Mr. Darcy as planned, had I not been delayed by Mr. Wickham, might events have unfolded differently?

  The very likely possibility that he had not been in the library at Pemberley that night at all dawned on her as she opened the door and slipped inside.

  Chapter 33

  Inconvenient Mishap

  A carriage mishap found Darcy and two of his postilions on the lonely road to Netherfield Park late that night. He supposed he might seek lodging at a local inn rather than risk arriving at his friend’s after the household had settled, but upon being informed that his destination was not too much further away, Darcy ventured on.

  What else was there to do? He supposed he had wasted enough time being apart from Elizabeth, whom his friend Bingley said was residing at Netherfield. A late-night arrival meant he might be reunited with her as early as the next morning. Who was to say what manner the delay would be were he to remain with the carriage with his drivers and the others, including his man, Waters? Waters was more than capable of acting in his stead in overseeing the requisite repairs and the safe arrival of Darcy’s possessions to their final destination.

  He arrived at the dimly lit manor house, a sure sign of the lateness of the hour, and was received by one of the household servants.

  “Welcome, Mr. Darcy,” said the tall lanky man who accepted Darcy’s great coat and hat, “Mr. Bingley informed us of your upcoming visit to allow ample time for the preparation of your stay. We were told you would be here toward the end of the week.”

  “My travel plans were accelerated.”

  “Indeed. Please accept my apologies that no one was there to attend your luggage. I shall summon a footman post haste.”

  “It is not necessary,” Darcy began, holding up his hand. “My carriage, along with the rest of my travel party, will be delayed until sometime tomorrow. At least that is my hope. You see, there was an inconvenient mishap with my carriage. I am alone, save two others who have sought sleeping quarters in the stables.

  “Very well, Mr. Darcy. If you will allow, may I show you into the drawing room and offer you a drink for your comfort while I oversee the final preparation of your apartment. I shall take the liberty of having a footman attend you once everything is ready.”

  “I confess comfortable lodgings are precisely what I need; however, I do not mean to disrupt the household more than I have already with my late as well as unexpected arrival. I shall forego the assistance of a footman.”

  “If you insist,” said the other man, his otherwise austere expression rather softened. “The drawing room is this way.”

  The two did not walk very far before Darcy caught glimpse of a young woman heading up the staircase. What a stroke of luck for him, he immediately thought, if it was Elizabeth.

  Dare I call out her name?

  The older gentleman must have noticed the way Darcy looked at the young woman. He cleared his throat, effectively summoning her attention. Continuing her steps, she threw a quick glance over her shoulder and stole Darcy’s breath away.

  Their eyes frozen on each other’s, Elizabeth stopped and turned.

  “I believe I will manage on my own from here,” said Darcy.

  “The drawing room—”

  “—I shall find it.”

  “Your apartment—”

  “—Which do you intend to have prepared?”

  “—The second floor, three doors down on the left.”

  “Thank you. I shall require nothing else,” Darcy said, his tone meant to send the servant on his way.

  Moments later, Darcy began a slow ascent up the stairway, and likewise, Elizabeth commenced a tentative descent until they stood face-to-face.

  “Miss Elizabeth,” he said.

  “Mr. Darcy,” she responded, dropping a curtsy.

  Remembering himself, Darcy bowed. Upon resuming his former attitude, he said, “I know the hour is late, and what I am about to ask of you may seem untoward—”

  “—What is it, sir?”

  “Might I request the pleasure o
f your company in the library?”

  “Sir?”

  “Please say yes, despite the impropriety of such a request. What I have to say to you is so very important that it will not wait until tomorrow.”

  Chapter 34

  Most Ardently

  Having endeavored for so long to erase the memories of the way he looked, the sound of his deep melodic voice, his brooding stare, and more importantly, all the feelings such recollections engendered in her, the sight of Mr. Darcy stole Elizabeth’s breath away.

  Over the past few hours, she had resigned herself to their eventual meeting face to face, but she had supposed she had days before finding herself suffering such a prospect. Now she was walking along beside him through the halls of Netherfield.

  Entering the room behind Elizabeth, Mr. Darcy closed the door. After a moment, he threw a quick glance about the dimly lit library. “This is a nice room.”

  “It certainly has the potential to be,” said Elizabeth in reference to the wealth of empty space and the scarcity of books among the wall shelves. “Charles often speaks of his desire to make it one of the finest libraries in all the county.” She bit her lower lip while searching for something else to say. Finding her voice, she continued, “Although even he will allow that his library will be nothing in comparison to the library at Pemberley. I understand it has been the makings of many generations.”

  Darcy nodded. “Indeed.” Closing some of the distance between them, he said, “Thank you for agreeing to speak with me in privacy.”

  Any chance for conversation ceased as the clock struck midnight; perfectly in tune with Elizabeth’s heartbeat. At length, she said, “It seems we were meant to be here before—that is to say, in circumstances much like this.”

  “I apologize for the way things unfolded at Pemberley. I know this is hardly a worthy excuse, but I have recently discovered that there were those in our party who actively conspired against the two of us, quite effectively as it turned out.”

  “Who?” Elizabeth exclaimed with energy. Just as quickly she said, “Or do I even have to ask? Who else would take the trouble of wreaking havoc of any such sort, other than Caroline Bingley?” Not that Lady Catherine de Bourgh did not also come to Elizabeth’s mind, but accusing one of the gentleman’s own relations did not seem like the thing to do.

  “You are correct. It is Caroline Bingley of whom I speak. Although, she did not act alone. She had a very willing accomplice.”

  “Her sister? Mrs. Hurst?” Elizabeth replied with a hint of uncertainty in her voice.

  Darcy shook his head. “George Wickham!”

  “Mr. Wickham?” Taken aback by this revelation, Elizabeth stepped away from Mr. Darcy.

  “I rather suspect that gentleman garnered your good opinion while you were in Derbyshire, which must certainly affect your reaction to what I am about to tell you. However, I beg you to listen to all I have to say before coming to any sort of conclusion. Indeed, what I am about to tell you is entirely Wickham’s own testimony.”

  “I am listening,” she replied, still somewhat bothered by his belief that Wickham meant more to her than he did.

  “First, the letter you received presumably from me was, in fact, penned by Wickham.”

  “Mr. Wickham?”

  “Indeed. I received a letter that fateful evening as well—presumably from you—telling me you never wished to see me again for reasons—well let me say the reasons stated were sufficient to persuade me that you had indeed written the words.”

  “I wrote no such letter,” Elizabeth declared.

  “I know—what I mean is, I know now. At the time I received the letter, I allowed it more credence than I ought to have.”

  “As did I with respect to the letter I received,” she said, her voice filled with a measure of uncertainly mixed with regret. Lowering her arms and likewise her guard, she continued, “What could Mr. Wickham have hoped to gain in poisoning our minds against each other?”

  “Plain and simple, he was motivated by greed, and he acted under a powerful inducement.”

  “Caroline—”

  “—Caroline offered him a hefty reward to do her bidding in sowing seeds of discord between us and keeping the two of us apart. When she reneged on the terms of the final payment, citing her inability to obtain the full amount as previously agreed to and on Wickham’s hastened schedule, no less, he brought his sorry tale to me with the intention of collecting a large payoff.”

  He went on to give her a thorough accounting of the nefarious events of the evening as told to him by his former friend. Elizabeth listened. She colored. She stared.

  At length, she said, “I confess to feeling rather foolish, sir.”

  “Foolish?”

  “You always said Mr. Wickham was not to be trusted, as did your cousin Colonel Fitzwilliam. Having seen no overly compelling evidence for myself, I negated your advice in deference to my own prejudice. I ought never to have done that.”

  “You must not blame yourself. Wickham has such happy manners. He is always making friends wherever he goes. Even my own father, may he rest in peace, was blind to Wickham’s faults.”

  “Still, I cannot help but feel ashamed.”

  “Then may the subject of George Wickham never cross either of our lips again.” As though realizing he had forgone all the usual civilities that seeing Elizabeth for the first time since she left Pemberley entailed, Darcy said, “Pray how is your family—your father?”

  Elizabeth assured Mr. Darcy that all was well until further talk on the matter was no longer necessary. Endeavoring to inquire on the gentleman’s family, she asked, “How does your sister get along? I pray she does not continue to suffer too severely.”

  “I believe Georgiana gets along better and better with each passing day. She remains with our uncle and aunt in Matlock.”

  “Does that mean you have been all alone these past months—at Pemberley?”

  “Yes—for all intents and purposes, which is largely part of the reason I was so pleased when my friend Bingley wrote to me, asking me to come to Hertfordshire.”

  “I understand you are here to help him with matters regarding the management of the estate.”

  “I suppose that is the official line, but in truth, my purpose is of a more selfish nature.”

  “Oh?”

  “Indeed. The true reason I am here is to see you. I had to come as soon as I learned the truth. I needed to say the words that I have longed to say to you—the words I meant to say when you were at Pemberley.”

  Darcy moved closer to Elizabeth, erasing any remaining distance between them. “When we last talked on the day before you left my home, I spoke to you of destiny. I asked you to wait for me. You do recall, do you not?”

  Her eyes told him that she did, which was sufficient encouragement for him to continue his speech.

  “You are too generous to trifle with me. I pray you will tell me that my being here is not in vain. I pray you will tell me at once—have I a chance? Tell me the wounds inflicted by Miss Bingley’s poison pen did not cut so deeply that all hope for something meaningful between the two of us is gone.”

  The silence that accompanied Elizabeth’s warm smile encouraged Darcy to take her by the hand. Raising it to his lips, he bestowed a lingering kiss. “Elizabeth,” he began at length. Turning her hand over, he kissed her palm.

  “I hope you do not find what I am about to say too forward, even untoward. What I have to say is so very important. I do not want to waste another moment of my life without telling you.” He kissed her hand again and then gazed into her eyes. “I love you—most ardently. Please do me the honor of accepting my hand in marriage.”

  “Mr. Darcy, I—I do not quite know what to say.”

  “Say yes.”

  “But—but what do the two of us really know about each other?” Elizabeth cried. “Do you not think you ought to wait until you have had the pleasure of meeting the rest of my family—my mama, my three younger sisters, Mary, Kitty, a
nd Lydia, and even my aunt and uncle, Mr. and Mrs. Phillips and my aunt and uncle, Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner, before committing yourself in such a manner. I assure you that except for the latter two, my relations are nothing at all like my papa and my sister Jane.”

  Gathering both her hands in his and resting them on his chest, Darcy said, “I very much wish to meet all your family, to spend time with them, and to get to know each and every one of them in their turn. But I assure you that whatever the result of such familial engagements, it will change nothing. From this day forward, I wish never to be parted from you again.”

  “With so many uncertainties, how can you possibly be so confident?”

  “My love, ever since I learned the truth, I have thought of little else other than the possibility of the two of us sharing our lives as one. By reason, by reflection, by everything, I mean for this to be my last day on Earth without you.”

  Chapter 35

  Irrevocably Gone

  The sun slowly springing forth on the eastern horizon, birds singing a familiar song—awakening the countryside and welcoming it to a new day—and the crisp, fresh air, all conspired to make it the perfect morning for two young lovers walking hand in hand.

  Elizabeth’s high spirits would not allow her to stick to the established path, and thus she chose an adventurous route crossing field after field, jumping over stiles and springing over puddles with a particularly amused Mr. Darcy, her intended, by her side.

  Not giving a great deal of care to their appearance, only one thing was needed to commence establishing the plans for their future felicity, and thus the purpose of their urgent trek.