Beyond the Blue

by Leslie Gould

  A knock on the door startled Lan.

  “It’s probably my laundry,” Older Sister said. She went to open the door. “Oh, it’s you.”

  “Is Lan here?” Older Brother’s words shot through the room.

  “Yes.”

  Lan stood and walked toward the door.

  “I told you to stay in your room.” Older Brother’s harsh words stung Lan. She looked at the floor.

  “I wanted to take you and Hang to an amusement park,” Older Brother continued, his voice softened.

  “No,” Older Sister said, sarcasm filling her voice. “Do you really think they should have some fun in the big city?”

  Lan peered into Older Brother’s face.

  “Go tell Hang to get ready I’ll meet the two of you in your room in fifteen minutes. First, I must talk to Older Sister about her future.”

  Older Brother moved aside, and Lan went out the door.

  “Wait,” Older Sister said, reaching for Lan’s hand. “I’ll come see you later this afternoon. Tell Mother that I’ll see her then.”

  “Ma!”

  Lan turned instinctively. It was Binh. He was on the opposite balcony.

  “Ma!”

  Lan froze. Mr. and Mrs. Taylor were with him. The woman held Mai. Binh began to climb the railing. “Binh! Stop!” Lan shouted.

  The man quickly pulled Binh from the railing and held him in his arms.

  “Ma!” Binh yelled again.

  “Quick,” Older Sister said. “Get back in the room.”

  Chapter 43

  It is Lan,” Gen said, as she grabbed the rail of the balcony with one hand and held Mai with the other. “And she’s with her sister. And the man—he looks like Mr. Tran from the Justice Department in Vung Tau. It probably is the same Mr. Tran who called INS this morning.”

  “Ma!” Binh yelled again and then began to cry. He clung to Jeff’s neck as if he were drowning.

  “It can’t be Mr. Tran.” Jeff turned Binh’s face toward his shoulder.

  “Earlier you told me it couldn’t be Lan.” Gen ran past Jeff.

  “Where are you going?” he called out.

  “To Maggie’s room. I hope she has some answers.”

  “I need to call Jake.” Jeff had left a message on his brothers cell phone saying he would call every half hour until he got through. They had decided to walk around the hotel while they waited, hoping to get Binh ready to nap.

  “Go. Call Jake.”

  Binh began to sob. Mai’s lip curled. Gen stopped. “Don’t cry, sweetheart,” she whispered. Mai was upset by Binh’s crying. They were all upset.

  “We need to talk about what to do once I find out how bad things are back home.” Jeff patted Binh’s back.

  “We need to talk to Maggie and find out how bad things are here. You call home. I’ll go talk to Maggie.” Adrenaline rushed through her.

  “Genni.” Jeff stopped patting Binh’s back and touched her arm.

  She stopped. Jeff’s dad had just had a heart attack. The cherries had to be harvested. Binh’s birth mother and aunt and the officer from the Vung Tau Justice Department were all staying at their hotel. The INS had called for an investigation. Multiple catastrophes hung over their heads. She met her husband’s gaze. “Okay,” she said. “Let’s call home. Then talk to Maggie. We can discuss with her a plan to get through all this … and about Mai and Binh’s birth family all showing up in Saigon with Mr. Tran.”

  “We don’t know if it is Mr. Tran.” Jeff shifted Binh to his other hip. The boy hiccuped and strengthened his grip around Jeff’s neck.

  “Jeff, it’s Mr. Tran.” She grabbed his free hand and squeezed it.

  Gen gave Mai her bottle while Jeff made the call. Binh sat on the bed beside Jeff, zipping the pull on the Ziploc bag back and forth. It was unbelievable that Don had had a heart attack.

  There was no answer at the house. Jeff dialed Jake’s number.

  “Jake?” Jeff asked. Gen listened to Jeff’s side of the conversation. “At Emanuel? Ninety percent blocked?” Gen ached for Don and Sharon.

  She thought about the adoption paperwork. Fortunately, they had put her name first on all the documents. She would be the one who needed to stay. She was listed as the primary parent, as if there were such a thing. How would Binh do with Jeff gone? She thought of the few minutes in the last four days when she’d had both children without Jeff. The short time in the van with Maggie and the few minutes in the restaurant with Cammy. Both times Binh had panicked until Jeff returned. She glanced down at Mai sucking on her bottle and concentrated on the motion of her daughter’s mouth.

  “It’s bad,” Jeff said as he hung up the phone. “They flew him by helicopter to Portland. He needs surgery. Jake said the harvest should start this weekend. He said José hasn’t shown up yet, and Mom and Dad haven’t heard from him. Jake said he will take time off work, even cancel his next trip to Japan, to take charge of the harvest.”

  “That’s nice of him,” Gen said.

  “But unrealistic. He hasn’t helped with the harvest in fifteen years.”

  “What do we do?” Gen asked.

  “What do you think we should do?”

  Gen pulled the empty bottle from Mai’s mouth and put it on the floor. She lifted the baby to her shoulder. There was only one thing they could do. Jeff had to go home. She had to stay.

  “Genni?” Jeff leaned toward her.

  “Let’s talk to Maggie.”

  Maggie came to the door wearing a silk robe, her gray hair pulled back in a ponytail. “I was napping,” she said with a yawn. “I tried to call your room earlier. I’m flying out tomorrow. My daughter sent a frantic e-mail—she wants me home as soon as possible.”

  “Can we come in?” Gen’s heart beat faster.

  “What’s wrong?” Maggie patted Binh’s leg. “Our little guy looks sad.”

  “Everything is wrong.” Gen blurted out the details.

  Maggie took a deep breath when Gen finished. “That’s pretty routine.”

  “Routine! What’s routine? The heart attack! A birth family showing up! Mr. Tran being here!”

  “The investigation. Come on.” Maggie turned on the light. Gen and Jeff followed her into the room. “Sit down,” Maggie said, motioning to the rattan chairs around the table. “Okay, I’m sleepy. Don’t jump on me, Gen. The investigation is routine. None of the rest of it is. I’ve honestly never had any of the rest happen before.”

  “We think it might be Mr. Tran,” Jeff said, glancing at Gen.

  “I’m certain it’s Mr. Tran.” Gen tried to calm her voice. Jeff, in his eternal optimism, couldn’t let go of the hope that it wasn’t.

  “Let’s start with the INS.” Maggie pulled the sash of her robe tighter.

  “I wish you had been at the meeting,” Gen said.

  “I couldn’t be there. I had the meeting at the orphanage here in Ho Chi Minh City. And I couldn’t have gone in with you anyway; they don’t allow it.”

  “The investigator got a phone call in the middle of the meeting from a Mr. Tran. It seemed as if it was about our case. About Binh,” Gen said.

  “Why do you think it’s the same Mr. Tran?” Maggie shook her head slightly.

  “Because we saw him here in the hotel with Lan and Cammy,” Gen said.

  Maggie sighed. “I don’t know what to say. I can’t believe it’s Mr. Tran. That’s too coincidental.”

  Gen had read that the antimalaria medicine could cause paranoia. Was she having paranoid hallucinations? Is that what Maggie thought?

  “The phone call might not have been about your case. There could be a million Mr. Trans in this city alone. Investigations are usually random and always routine. You should be fine. All the paperwork is in order. Let’s talk about Jeff’s father.” Maggie turned to Jeff.

  “It’s not just my father. It’s the cherry harvest. Our income depends on the next three weeks. I can’t risk harvest being unsuccessful because I’m not there. And it’s not just us it affects; it’s my
parents and everyone who works for us.”

  “We’re thinking about Jeff’s going back.” There, she’d said it.

  “And you’ll stay alone with the kids?” Maggie’s voice softened.

  Gen nodded.

  “Could someone fly over to help you? It would be really good for you to have someone else with you. It’s hard to take care of little ones here alone. I know you’ll be fine in the U.S., but everything is harder here.” Maggie gazed at Gen intently.

  Gen shook her head. She couldn’t think of anyone who could help her.

  “I’m sorry I have to go back,” Maggie said. Her eyes glistened for just a moment. Was pragmatic Maggie getting emotional?

  Gen nodded. She wanted to cry.

  “Now, let’s talk about Binh and Mai’s birth mom. Where did you see her?”

  “Across the courtyard. We were on the balcony on the third floor looking down at the plants when Binh yelled, ‘Ma!’ There she was on the opposite balcony with her sister,” Jeff said.

  “With Cammy?” Maggie crossed her arms.

  “And listen to this. Cammy had lunch with us, or almost did. She must have followed us to the restaurant and then sat by us. She struck up a conversation, and we invited her to join us.”

  “But then we saw the Gordons out the window. They motioned for me to come out and told me who she was. By the time I got back to the table Cammy was gone,” Jeff explained, shifting in his chair. Binh continued to cling to his neck.

  Maggie shook her head. “I purposely didn’t tell you any details about Cammy’s case. Cam My is her Vietnamese name. I didn’t want you to know if the INS officer asked you. Now you know.”

  “Why would Mr. Tran, Cammy, and Lan all be together?”

  “I don’t know, Gen.”

  “Maybe he’s investigating Binh’s case.” Gen gazed at her son, at his skinny little arms and legs wrapped around Jeff. He hiccuped, and his whole body shook. Gen’s heart jumped.

  “That’s unlikely,” Maggie said. “He already signed the paperwork.”

  “What advice do you have for us?” Jeff asked.

  “It sounds like you need to go home.” Maggie smiled at Jeff. “Mai’s case should be done by Thursday. You can try to get your ticket changed and take her with you.”

  Gen shook her head. She had already thought through that option, and she couldn’t bear letting Mai go without her.

  “It will be difficult for you to care for both children by yourself,” Maggie said gently. “Especially with Binh so active.”

  “There’s no one at home to take care of Mai,” Gen said.

  “I could find someone.” Jeff peered down at Binh as he wiped his nose across Jeff’s shirt.

  “No. I want Mai to stay with me.” The baby’s eyelids fluttered as she drifted off to sleep.

  “You could both go home and then come back for Binh, after the investigation,” Maggie said. “Bao can take him back to the orphanage.”

  “No!” Gen shot Jeff a panicked look.

  “We can’t leave Binh here. It’s going to be hard enough on him for me to leave,” Jeff said. Gen thought of Mom’s putting Nhat on the plane, of Mom’s staying behind and then flying out the next day. The children had to stay with her.

  “So Jeff goes and Gen stays. You two have already decided what you’re going to do. What do you need me for?”

  “To tell us it will work,” Gen said.

  “I can’t tell you that, Gen. I hope with all my heart that you get out of here with both your children, and I honestly think you will, but I can’t promise that.” Maggie stood.

  Gen swallowed hard. Tears pricked her eyes. She knew Maggie was right. Even though it wasn’t the answer she wanted, she was thankful for her honesty.

  “We’d better walk over to the Korean Air office to see if I can get out of here tomorrow.” Jeff stood, lifting Binh to his shoulder.

  Gen nodded. She didn’t have the energy to speak.

  “Want to do dinner tonight?” Maggie pulled the fastener from her hair. “There’s a great Cambodian restaurant down the street. Really good food.”

  Gen glanced at Jeff. He turned to Maggie and said, “We were going to go out with Bryce, Sue, and Daniel. What if we all go out together?”

  “Okay by me,” Maggie said, shaking her hair loose.

  Gen slumped back in the chair. Mai’s little body sweated against her chest. She could feel the weave of the rattan against her back. She felt too exhausted to move.

  What would her mother tell her now if she were here? Trust God. Remember, things work out. That’s probably what Jeff would say too if she gave him the chance. Gen didn’t want to hear it. If there was one thing she was sure of, it was that she didn’t always like how God worked things out.

  Maggie sat beside Gen. Her silk robe gaped around her collarbone, showing wrinkles and age spots. Maggie stroked Mai’s back and then took Gen’s hand. Her touch comforted Gen. Suddenly she wanted the older woman to hug her, to take her and the baby in her arms, and Jeff and Binh, to tell them everything would be all right.

  Chapter 44

  Lan and Hang smiled at each other as they walked through the gate of the park. Hang laughed and started to run ahead, as if she’d forgotten her stitches. She stopped and Lan caught up with her. A water fountain bubbled; a stream flowed between two lush lawns; a noise rushed above their heads. Hang pointed upward. Lan was startled. A train sped by on a track high above them.

  “Come this way,” Older Brother said. They followed.

  It was so peaceful, even with the crowds of people. There were no cars, no scooters, no bikes. Hang stopped at a vendor selling sweet popcorn; Older Brother bought a bag. Lan’s tooth hurt as she chewed it.

  They followed Older Brother into a bonsai garden. “This is one of my favorite places in the city,” he said.

  “How did you find it?” Lan ran her fingertips along a ceramic pot that held a perfectly pruned miniature tree.

  “It’s in all the travel books,” Older Brother said gruffly. His voice softened. “An old friend brought me here.”

  Lan raised her eyebrows. “A woman friend?”

  Older Brother nodded.

  “Where is she now?”

  “France. She’s studying there for two years.”

  Hang walked toward the exit from the bonsai garden.

  “Come back,” Lan called out.

  “It’s okay. I know she wants to see the other sights. This garden is for old men like me. Let’s go ride the monorail.”

  Hang grinned the way she used to. Lan clutched the rail in front of her as the train took off, her fists white. “It’s all right, Mama.” Hang laughed. She sat on the inside, where she would have the best view. Lan sat in the middle. Below, families sauntered along the paths. Grandfathers stood along the river, fishing.

  “I can’t believe there’s a place like this in the city,” Lan said. “It’s so beautiful, so peaceful.”

  “Let’s live here,” Hang said. “We could go back and rescue Binh and Mai and eat the spilled popcorn all over the ground and catch fish from the river.”

  Lan laughed. She felt happy for the first time in months.

  “I wanted to bring you here today because I’m sending you back to Vung Tau tomorrow,” Older Brother said. The train sped by two huge yellow concrete dragons facing each other next to a fountain. A bride, dressed in a Western gown, posed for a photographer.

  “Tomorrow?” Lan leaned toward her daughter.

  “It was foolish of me to bring you at all. I thought that maybe the INS would want to interview you. But I can see now that bringing you here was a mistake. I nearly revealed myself as your brother when I talked with the officer this morning. You need to be back in Vung Tau in case they want to speak with you. It will seem suspicious if you’re gone.”

  “What do you expect me to tell the officer?”

  “That Cam My is your sister,” Older Brother said.

  “What else?”

  “I don’t expec
t you to lie. Telling the truth will raise enough suspicion.”

  “Why do you want Binh?” Lan asked.

  “I’m getting old. I’m forty-five. I have no family of my own. The only woman I ever wanted to marry now lives in another country.”

  “Do you want to care for Binh?”

  “I’d like to raise him. He’s a boy who needs direction. Binh needs a strong hand.” Lan glanced away from Quan, out over the park. Below, a father carried a small boy on his shoulders.

  “And you don’t think the Americans would do that?” She grasped the rail.

  “Little Sister, if he leaves Vietnam, he will no longer be Vietnamese. He will lose his language, his culture. He will forget you and Hang. The Americans won’t allow him to return, not even to visit.”

  “I think they will. I think they care about Binh, about us,” Lan said.

  Older Brother shook his head. “They only care about themselves,”

  “And who do you care about?” Her knuckles grew white against the rail.

  Older Brother turned toward the wooden fence that surrounded the grounds.

  After the monorail ride, before they left the park, Lan rested on a concrete bench and stared at the two dragons. Hang sat on her lap, nearly covering Lan’s small body with her own. Lan pulled her daughter to her, smelled the fresh scent of the hotel shampoo in her hair, then wrapped her arms tightly around her oldest child. Hang relaxed against her; their bodies melted into one. Older Brother stood a few feet away; he turned his head, embarrassed.

  They rode back to the hotel in silence. Lan kept her face straight. She would tell Older Sister good-bye, not knowing when she would see her again or if she’d ever see her again. They would return to Vung Tau.

  “I’m being transferred to Hanoi next week,” Older Brother said.

  Good. “You were in Vung Tau such a short time.”

  The time in the water park with Hang had been worth the trip to Saigon. For a few moments Lan had stopped aching for Mai and Binh. For a few moments she had felt carefree, almost young again, not like the old woman she was quickly becoming with her decaying teeth, scarred hand, and bad stomach.