Fallen Lords MC: Books 4-6

by Winter Travers

  I hung my head and closed my eyes. “I’m not a psychopath,” I mumbled.

  “Right!” Brinks shouted.

  I turned on my heel and stalked to my room without looking at Raven’s door. She was locked in her room for the night, and I didn’t need to worry about her.

  The fact she didn’t want to celebrate with everyone shouldn’t be surprising to me. It wasn’t like she hung out with them all of the time. Hell, I should have been concerned by the fact that she wanted to play poker with us tonight.

  Normally, she was trying to find ways to not even come out of her room. Those were the times I was thankful to watch her because she wasn’t getting into trouble.

  I flipped on my light and flopped onto my bed.

  This wasn’t odd behavior from Raven.

  Why the hell was I acting like it was?

  She didn’t want to be around her brother and the club.

  That was fine.

  What wasn’t fine was the hurt in her eyes.

  That wasn’t fine at all.

  *

  Chapter Seven

  Raven

  “We should try to get something that is color-neutral,” Mayra muttered.

  “I’ll have a salted caramel latte with a triple shot of espresso and two chocolate croissants. If you can make that latte the size of a bucket, I’ll love you for the rest of my life.”

  The cashier smirked and grabbed my money. “I’ll see what I can do, but I don’t think bucket is a size.”

  I shrugged and turned back to Mayra who was still babbling about baby colors and shit.

  “We could do a zoo theme.” She tapped her finger to her chin. “That can definitely go both ways.”

  It had only been two weeks since Alice and Wren had dropped the bomb that they were both pregnant, but the clubhouse and all the ol’ ladies were buzzing about the news. We had at least four months before we even needed to start planning the damn baby shower, but that was all anyone could talk about. Mayra included.

  “Going both ways is always good.”

  Mayra kept talking, not even giving my lame joke a smile.

  Clash stepped in front of me and ordered from the cashier.

  I watched as her eyes flared with interest, and she leaned toward Clash as he placed his order. The woman would be putty in his hands if he let her know he was the teeniest bit interested.

  Clash was in his usual attire of a white t-shirt and dark blue jeans that hugged his thighs and tapered off around his black motorcycle boots. Of course, he had his Fallen Lords cut draped over his shoulders, which for this chick, was the cherry on top of the sundae.

  Surprisingly, Clash paid her no mind, just ordered his black coffee with an extra shot and handed her a five-dollar bill.

  Mayra and I found a table toward the back of the coffeeshop, and Clash moved to sit at the one next to us.

  “There something wrong with sitting with us?” I asked.

  Clash’s eyes connected with mine. “Didn’t know if you were having a mini Girl Gang meeting or something.”

  I rolled my eyes and pulled out my chair. “I hope not. Sit with us so I have someone to talk to in case it is.” Cora, Nikki, and Karmen were supposed to join us too, and as much as I didn’t want to admit it, I knew this was a Girl Gang meeting. “You roped me into going out so you’re going to have to suffer through this with me.”

  “Oh, there’s Nikki and Karmen. I’ll be right back.” Mayra weaved through the maze of tables and gave a little screech when she hugged Nikki and Karmen.

  “They do know they just saw each other last night, right?” I plopped down in my chair and dug into my croissants.

  “Guess that’s what chicks do,” Clash mumbled. He had pulled out the chair next to me and had snapped off the lid to his coffee.

  “Uh, pretty sure that’s not what all chicks do.” I rolled my eyes and ripped off a piece of flakey, gooey, chocolatey goodness.

  “Well, all chicks but you.”

  “And thank God for that,” I mumbled.

  “Agreed, beautiful.”

  Clash had been calling me that since I had gotten my hair done.

  I didn’t know if I liked it. It was an endearment that was a bit too friendly. While I called him warden or biker boy, they didn’t seem as personal as beautiful.

  “You’re glad I’m not some screeching woman?”

  He chuckled and nodded. “Exactly.”

  I sipped my coffee and glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. “You’ve been rather agreeable lately.”

  “That a bad thing?” he drawled.

  Was it? Clash and I hadn’t butted heads since the day I had gotten my hair done. Granted, I had been so swamped with work the past week that I had barely had time to breath, let alone cook up ways to keep Clash on his toes.

  “I guess it’s okay.”

  “You’ve been the one who’s been working her ass off. I’m waiting for the armored truck to pull up to the clubhouse with the pile of money you’ve been making.”

  “Slightly over exaggerated,” I whispered. Though my bank account was sitting pretty plush right now.

  “Right, beautiful. I’ve seen the shit you do on that computer. You’re making bank,” he said quietly.

  Mayra and the girls made their way over to the table before I had to confirm that I was, in fact, rolling in dough.

  “I saw the cutest onesie when I was at the store yesterday.” Karmen dropped her wallet on the table and sprawled out in the chair across from me. “Nickel told me I wasn’t allowed to buy it.” She rolled her eyes and sipped on her coffee.

  “Uh, that’s probably because you already bought enough clothes for each baby to get them through until they are two.” Nikki set her icy drink down and peeled off her coat. “You really need to slow your roll. At least until we find out what they are both having.”

  I could only imagine how crazy everyone was going to get when they found out if they were going to be boys or girls.

  “I hope Alice has a boy and Wren has a girl.” Mayra sipped on her coffee. “Only because I want a front-row seat for the next six months while Alice freaks out about the baby coming out with a beard.”

  I rolled my eyes and kept my mouth shut. Alice was going to worry about that even if she found out she was going to have a girl. This morning, she had been freaking out about possibly giving birth to the bearded lady or some shit.

  The talk around the table revolved around the impending babies, and I could feel my eyes glaze over. Clash stayed quiet next to me, but I could tell he too wasn’t keeping up with the baby talk.

  I scooted my chair back, and Clash’s hand was on my arm before I could even stand up.

  “Where are you going?” he asked quietly.

  “Bathroom, warden. That okay?”

  He let go of my arm and sat back in his chair. “Yeah.”

  I rolled my eyes and made my way to the bathroom behind us.

  Just when I thought Clash was chilling the hell out, he acted like he was personally in charge of making my decisions for me.

  I did my business in the bathroom and was surprised as hell when I walked out that Clash was waiting for me in the little hallway.

  “Really, warden? Did you think I was going to make a run for it or something?” I rolled my eyes and moved to walk past him, but his arm came out and blocked my path.

  He caged me in with his arms and pressed me against the wall. “No. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

  I laid my hands on his chest and tried to push him out of the way. “Never better. Out of the way, human wall.”

  The man was just a wall of muscle I wasn’t able to budge.

  “No.”

  I looked up into his eyes. “Excuse me?” What in the hell was this?

  “We’re gonna talk.”

  I blinked slowly. “Talk?”

  “Yeah.”

  We stared at each other without speaking.

  After thirty seconds of studying his handsome face and fa
lling into the dark depths of his brown eyes, I blinked rapidly. “What the hell is going on, Clash?”

  “I don’t have a fucking clue.”

  “Then let me go.”

  He shook his head and somehow moved closer. His body was pressed against mine and his face was barely inches away from mine.

  “Something is wrong.”

  Huh, yeah. Clash was way too close to me. His breath lingered with mine, and my mind was fogged. His musky, manly smell surrounded me, and it took all of my willpower to not bury my nose in the collar of his shirt and inhale.

  “What’s wrong?” My mouth felt like it was filled with cotton, and I could barely swallow.

  “You’re not happy.”

  I didn’t deny it.

  “Even when you were a bitch doing shit to annoy the hell out of me, I could tell it gave you a little bit of joy. Now, for the past two weeks, you’re not happy. You don’t take joy in annoying me or being a bitch to everyone. You’re quiet and trying to fade away.”

  “That’s ridiculous.”

  I was fine. Everything was fine. I was just swamped with work and didn’t have the time to dedicate to being a bitch.

  “It’s not, Raven. Something changed when you found out Wrecker and Alice were pregnant.”

  I turned my head to the side. “No, nothing changed, Clash.”

  Everything was the same.

  His hand cradled my cheek, and he turned my head back to look at him. “I saw it in your eyes, Raven. I saw something in them I’ve never seen before.”

  “And what was that?” I whispered harshly. I wasn’t into this game Clash was trying to play with me. If he had something to say, then he needed to say it to me and not corner me in dark hallways.

  “You’re sad, beautiful. All this time, you wanted us to believe that you were just a bitch who doesn’t give a fuck, but all along, you’ve just been sad and alone.”

  “No.”

  Clash’s eyes slowly traveled over my face. “You are, beautiful. I see it. At first, I didn’t. Thought you were just a bitch, but there is a hell of a lot more to you than what you show people.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Thanks, Dr. Clash. You ever thought of leaving the club and becoming a therapist?”

  A smile spread across his lips. “You’re the only one I have an interest in to care about.”

  “You shouldn’t.”

  “I shouldn’t what?” he asked.

  “You shouldn't care about me.”

  “Why?”

  I closed my eyes. “Because you would be the first.”

  “Raven,” he whispered softly. His thumb gently stroked my cheek, and his arm wrapped around my waist. “Open your eyes for me, beautiful.”

  “No.” I shook my head and tried to think of the weather or my coffee that was getting cold. I didn’t want to think about this. I didn’t want to feel Clash touching me.

  I didn’t want to open the vault of hurt that was buried deep inside me.

  “I don’t know what’s happened to you, Raven. I don’t know anything about you other than what you want me to know and see.”

  “There isn’t anything else.”

  His warm lips pressed against my cheek. “There is more, Raven,” he whispered in my ear. “There is a whole hell of a lot more, and I’m not going anywhere until I know it all.”

  “You’re gonna be disappointed, Clash.”

  The things he wanted to know weren’t fun. They weren’t entertaining.

  “I’ll be the judge of that.” His hand traveled down my waist and found my hand. He intertwined his fingers with mine and pressed another kiss to my cheek. “You lay it all on me, beautiful.”

  “And then you’ll leave?”

  That was what always happened.

  Everyone always left.

  “Guess you’re just gonna have to wait and find out.” He took a step back but his eyes stayed connected with mine.

  “What in the hell are you doing, Clash?”

  His fingers tightened around mine. “Staying.”

  He tugged me down the hallway, back toward the table.

  “Let go of my hand,” I hissed.

  We literally had two seconds before we would clear the hallway and be in full view of Mayra and the girls. I didn’t know what the hell was going on with Clash, so I really didn’t want them to see us holding hands and want to know all of the details.

  Clash let go of my hand at the last millisecond and strode back over to the table like he hadn’t just rocked my world and turned it upside down.

  “There you are,” Mayra called. “I was starting to think you made your escape out of the bathroom window and Clash was chasing you down the street.”

  That would have been better than what had just happened.

  “Not today. I couldn't get my butt through the small window.” I nudged my chair away from Clash and sat back down.

  “Caught her foot before she fell through.”

  Clash had seen me slyly move my chair and managed to also bump his closer to me when he sat down.

  Mayra’s jaw dropped. “Wait, what?”

  I rolled my eyes. Bless Mayra’s innocent soul. “I’m joking, Mayra.”

  “She’s not.” Clash winked at Mayra.

  “Shut it, warden.”

  “There’s that smile,” he whispered so only I could hear him.

  I was smiling. I hadn’t even noticed. “Seriously, shut it,” I hissed.

  Clash chuckled but thankfully, didn’t say more.

  He had said more than enough back in the hallway. His words had been more than what I ever expected from him. Clash was seeing things that no one had ever seen before.

  I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.

  Clash was seeing the me I had buried years ago, and I was absolutely terrified by what he was going to find.

  *

  Chapter Eight

  Clash

  “Are you seriously staring at her door again?”

  “You just hang out by your door watching people?” I retorted.

  Brinks leaned against the door frame and folded his arms over his chest. He was once again in his boxers looking like he had just woken up. “Trust me, I have better things to do. You obviously don’t, seeing as you’re staring at Raven’s door like it’s the gates of heaven.”

  I scowled. “If you’ve got something better to do, how about you go do it and leave me alone.”

  “Because then I can’t give you my words of wisdom?”

  I turned fully to look at him. “And just what are those?”

  If he spit it out, he could leave me alone.

  “Knock on the fucking door and stop fighting whatever shit that you got going on with Raven.”

  It had been four days since I had cornered her at the coffee shop, and Raven was the one who had been ignoring me. She was fighting whatever the hell this was, not me.

  Though, I wasn’t really sure what it was she was fighting.

  “Thanks for the advice.” I turned back to Raven’s door. “Now, leave me the hell alone and go do whatever important shit you should be doing.”

  “Gladly,” Brinks chuckled.

  I heard his door close and raised my hand to knock on the door.

  “Just fucking do it, Clash.” I needed to just get this shit over.

  For the past three nights, I had stood outside her door wondering what she was doing in there and wishing she would invite me in.

  That was what was keeping me from knocking.

  Would she invite me in or slam the door in my face?

  There was only one way to find out.

  I raised my hand and knocked.

  *

  Raven

  Holy fuck was I bored.

  Locking myself in my bedroom for the fourth day in a row was a good strategy to avoid Clash, but it was also boring.

  So boring.

  Of course, I came out to grab food, but as soon as I had what I wanted, I snuck back into my room and locked the door.
/>   Clash had terrified me when he had cornered me at the coffee shop.

  Not in the way that I thought he was going to hurt me, but in the way that he was going to see exactly who I was.

  Who I had been hiding…

  A knock sounded on the door, and my eyes darted toward it.

  Who in the hell was knocking on my door?

  Even Mayra didn’t knock. She normally sent me a text asking what I was up to and telling me to unlock the door. I grabbed my phone, wondering if I had missed her text, but there was nothing.

  “Who is it?” I called.

  I waited a beat and then the voice I had been avoiding drifted through the door.

  “It’s Clash.”

  Shit.

  “What do you want?”

  Maybe the clubhouse was on fire and he was just telling me to get the hell out. I sniffed the air and was a tad bit disappointed to not smell smoke.

  “For you to open the door.”

  “I don’t have to.”

  I couldn’t hear it, but I knew Clash had growled. Clash growling was something he did basically whenever I opened my mouth.

  “Open the door, Raven, or I’ll take it off the hinges.”

  “You wouldn’t,” I shouted.

  “Fucking try me.” His tone left no room for argument. Clash was going to come in if I opened the door or not.

  I bounced off my bed, flicked open the lock, and swung open the door. “What?”

  Clash planted a hand in my stomach, pushed me back, and slammed the door shut behind him.

  “You’re done hiding,” he thundered.

  “I’m not hiding. I’m working,” I insisted.

  “Why the hell can’t you work in the common room like you used to?” he questioned.

  “Because I don’t want to.”

  Also, that was where Clash was. In my room, I was safe from him. Well, at least I used to be safe from him in here.

  “Why?”

  “Why what?” I shouted.

  “Why in the hell don’t you want to come out there?”

  I crossed my arms over my chest and realized I wasn’t wearing a bra. Hell, I was wearing barely any clothes at all. It was almost eleven, and I was dressed for bed.