“Yes.”
She dashed into the room and threw her arms around me. I hugged her back, tears stinging my eyes.
“You’re okay with it?” I asked.
“Are you kidding? I’ve been wishing you two would get together for… I don’t even know how long. This is a dream come true.”
“Thank you,” I said softly.
“Oh my god, I can’t,” Hannah said. She took a sobbing breath and tears streamed down her face. “This is so beautiful and I love you all so much.”
“Aw, Hannah,” Zoe said. “Come here, sweetie.”
Amelia widened her arms. “Group hug.”
I found myself in the middle of my girls. My beautiful daughter and the three amazing women who had joined our family. I loved these girls so much.
“Okay, we need to stop or we’re never going to get Shannon ready,” Zoe said. “Thank god you don’t have makeup on yet.”
I laughed and dabbed the corners of my eyes. “You girls are so wonderful. Thank you.”
“I can’t get over how bangin’ you look in that dress,” Brynn said. “Ben is going to lose his mind.”
Running my hands over the dress, I smoothed it out again. “It’s Zoe’s.”
“It’s yours now,” Zoe said.
“Oh, I almost forgot,” Brynn said. She picked up the box she’d set in the doorway. “This was on your porch when I got here.”
I took the box. It was small, wrapped in brown paper and tied with twine, like Ben’s other gift had been. The tag was the same, a white card with my name written in his handwriting.
“I think it’s from Benjamin,” I said.
“We can go if you want to open it in private,” Amelia said.
“That’s okay.” I set it down on the bed and pulled off the twine. I tore open the paper and lifted the lid. Inside was a small rectangular box.
“That looks like jewelry,” Brynn whispered. I wasn’t sure if she was talking to me or the other girls.
My heart felt fluttery again and my stomach did an excited little flip. I opened the box, revealing a silver necklace with a deep blue stone. I pulled it out and held it up. The stone sparkled, like it was filled with starlight.
The girls gasped and murmured oohs and ahs while I stared at the beautiful necklace.
“Wow,” I breathed.
“Yeah, wow,” Brynn said. “Put it on.”
I handed it to Brynn and turned. She draped it around my neck and fastened the clasp. The stone sat just below the dip in my throat, the blue gleaming against my skin.
“I can’t believe he did this,” I said. “After everything else, this too?”
“What else?” Brynn said.
“He sent me flowers,” I said. “And did you see the lanterns hanging on the front porch? He made those out of old Salishan wine bottles. He sent them with a bottle of wine he’d saved from the first season he worked here. Then he sent a mug. It says good morning, beautiful on it.”
“That’s so sweet,” Hannah said.
I nodded. “It was. And now this necklace.”
“Wait,” Amelia said. “Is that all? Flowers, then the wine bottles, then the mug, then the necklace? He didn’t give you anything else recently?”
“That’s it,” I said. “Isn’t that enough?”
“No, that’s not what I mean,” she said. “I just thought… never mind.”
“Well, he did loan me a book, but that wasn’t really a gift,” I said. “It’s from the library.”
Amelia’s eyes widened. “A borrowed book?”
“Yeah,” I said. “He loans me books all the time.”
“Don’t you guys get it?” Amelia asked. She scrunched her shoulders. “I can’t believe you don’t see it. Oh my god, it’s the cutest thing in the whole world. You really don’t get it?”
“Get what?” Brynn asked.
“What Ben did with these gifts,” Amelia said. “The flowers represent dating and courtship, right? But the rest. The wine bottles? They’re something old. The mug? Something new. A library book is something borrowed. And the necklace?”
“Something blue,” I said, touching the blue stone at my throat.
“Wow,” Zoe said. “I knew Ben was good, but I had no idea he was this good.”
“Oh my god,” Brynn said. “Is he telling you he wants to marry you?”
I held the necklace between my fingertips and turned back to the mirror. They were right. Deep down, I knew. I’d felt it today when he’d kissed me. It hadn’t simply been a few stolen minutes in a storeroom. Two people who’d been holding their attraction to each other in check for too long, finally finding the courage to unleash.
I’d tasted forever in that kiss.
“I think he is.”
Eleven
Shannon
The girls scrambled into the kitchen when we heard Ben’s knock. They’d helped me with my hair and makeup, fussing over me like I was about to walk the red carpet, not have dinner with a man. I didn’t even know where we were going. For all I knew, this dress and my black heels were overkill for what Ben had planned for us tonight.
But they’d done a good job. My hair was down, falling in soft waves around my shoulders. I hadn’t worn this much makeup in a long time, but it was classy, not overpowering. I looked like I was ready for an evening out.
More importantly, I felt amazing.
I’d lost so much of myself over the years. In pouring everything I had into my family and our business, I hadn’t saved much for me.
Ben had begun the process of uncovering the woman I was on the inside. Of helping me rediscover her. Tonight, my girls had helped me find a little more. Maybe it was just a little makeup and a dress. But really, it was so much more than that. It was the real me. A woman who’d been set aside for too long and who was desperate to be set free.
I walked to the door feeling more confident than I’d felt in years. I looked good, but more than that, I felt good. I felt beautiful. And no matter what else happened tonight, that was priceless to me.
Ben stood outside, looking unbelievably handsome in a dark sweater and slacks. His beard was neatly trimmed and he held a bouquet of flowers. He blinked at me, his mouth hanging open.
I smiled. “Hi.”
“Oh, Shannon.” His eyes flicked up and down. “You look incredible.”
I smoothed my dress down, then touched the necklace at my throat. “Thank you. And thank you for this. It’s beautiful.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Am I overdressed?”
“No, you’re perfect.” He held out the flowers. “These don’t hold a candle to how stunning you are.”
Bringing them to my nose, I inhaled their scent. “They’re beautiful. Thank you.”
I hadn’t noticed Brynn come out of the kitchen, but she was there, quietly taking the flowers.
“I’ll put these in water,” she whispered. “You go have fun.”
“Thanks, Sprout,” Ben said, winking at her. “Shall we?”
Always the gentleman, he helped me with my coat. My skin tingled as he pulled my hair from beneath the collar.
He offered me his arm and led me to his truck. Opened the passenger door for me and shut it once I was inside. He got in the driver’s side and gazed at me for a long moment.
“Sorry, I can’t seem to stop staring,” he said.
“The girls helped me get ready.”
“You look beautiful all the time, but this…” His eyes swept up and down again. “This is special.”
“It’s a special night.”
“That it is,” he said.
“Where are we going?”
He smiled. “I hope you don’t mind, but I have something a little different planned for tonight.”
“Oh?”
“Would you mind coming to my place?” he asked. “I made dinner.”
I just about melted into a puddle on the floor. He cooked us dinner? “That sounds wonderful.”
“Great.”
In all the years Ben had lived here, I’d never been inside his house. Going in felt like crossing a line. One I wouldn’t have dared cross before. But now? I was ready.
He shut the door behind us, then took my coat and hung it by the door.
Ben lived in a beautifully constructed log cabin. It was clean and cozy, with a leather couch in front of a wood-burning fireplace. His table was set for two, complete with candles, and the entire place smelled amazing.
“Dinner isn’t fancy.” He went into the kitchen and washed his hands. “Red wine-roasted chicken with herbs and some roasted vegetables.”
“It smells delicious. Can I help?”
“No, I’ve got it.” He uncovered the chicken and my mouth watered at the scent. “Unless you want to pour the wine.”
“That I can definitely do.”
I went to the table and poured us each a glass. A minute later he brought our food to the table, setting my plate in front of me.
“It’s been a long time since someone cooked me dinner,” I said.
He sat and met my eyes. “I know.”
We started in on our meals—the food was delicious—and chatted about the usual things. My kids, Salishan, the last book he’d loaned me. Spending time with Ben had always felt easy and comfortable—so many things about this night were different, but that much hadn’t changed. We talked and laughed as we ate, the mood relaxed, with a tantalizing buzz of anticipation humming in the background.
When we’d both finished our meals, Ben poured more wine. “Can I ask you a serious and rather personal question?”
“Of course.”
“How are you?” he asked. “Be honest. And I don’t mean how are you tonight.”
I understood exactly what he meant. How was I after finding out about my ex-husband’s lengthy infidelity. After an ugly and frustrating divorce. After the father of my children had almost cost me my home and been sent to prison.
“The truth?”
“Yes,” he said, his voice emphatic.
“I’m getting better.” I put my glass down and took a deep breath. “I put on a brave face for everyone, but when I found out that he had a mistress, I was devastated. I’d spent years staying strong for my kids. I was very good at it. But that almost broke me.”
My eyes welled up with tears, so I paused. I didn’t want to cry. Not here. Not now. Especially not over my bastard ex-husband. But these were feelings I’d never shared with anyone. It felt good to speak them aloud.
“So much of my life was a lie,” I said, my voice quiet. “I didn’t know the woman I’d become. How had I turned into a person who’d let a man walk all over her? I let things go and ignored the way he treated me, trying so hard to keep everything together. I did it for our kids, and for Salishan. Really, for everyone but me.”
His eyes were full of sympathy and kindness as he looked at me. “I’m sorry, Shannon.”
I took a deep breath. “I bent, but I didn’t break. And now that it’s all over, I can move on. I’m ready. So, to answer your question, I wasn’t okay for a while. I was terribly hurt and alone. But so many good things have happened in the last couple of years, they drown out all the bad.”
He reached across the table and took my hand, stroking the backs of my fingers. “I wish I could have done more to help. I understand what it’s like to almost break.”
I sensed something in his voice. A vulnerability—perhaps a willingness to share. I put my other hand over his. “Does it have something to do with why you came to Salishan all those years ago?”
“It does. I suppose my truth is that I was trying to disappear. I’d been going from place to place for a while by the time I landed here.”
“Why were you trying to disappear?”
He took a deep breath. “Before I came here, I was married. My wife and I had a son. We’d named him Benjamin, after me. Called him Benny. When Benny was two, he and his mom were hit by a drunk driver. They were both killed instantly.”
My eyes filled with tears. “Oh Benjamin, I had no idea. I’m so sorry.”
He met my gaze. “It’s okay. Really. Up until maybe ten years ago, I couldn’t have choked that story out without needing a hell of a lot of whiskey. Took me a long time to heal after losing them.”
“I can’t even imagine.”
“Sometimes, that thing you fear—the worst thing you can imagine—actually happens. I lost everything that night, including a lot of who I was. I tried to drink away the pain for a while, but that didn’t get me anywhere. So I left. Moved to a new town. I didn’t feel any better there, so I left again. Kept doing that all the way across the country. Until I got here.”
“What made you stay?”
He smiled. “Cooper.”
“Really?”
“Not just Cooper. It was all of them. But Cooper started it. Do you remember the day we met?”
“I do. Cooper ran off and you found him in the vineyard.”
He nodded. “You said you’d baked cookies and offered me one. Cooper gave me this look. It was so serious. Like he was telling me I better come to your house and have a cookie. So I did. I met your boys and those kids… they got to me. I’d been keeping people out, trying to stay numb. And they just waltzed in and took up residence right here.” He tapped his chest above his heart.
“You stayed for them?”
“I didn’t think of it that way at first,” he said. “I thought just one more season, then I’d go. Another year would pass, and I’d tell myself maybe I’d stay one more. Meanwhile, your boys were growing, and I was teaching them things. Walking in the vineyards and showing them the plants and trees. Teaching them how to build fires and whittle sticks. Then Brynn came along, and I couldn’t imagine not being around for them. Not seeing them grow up.”
“I can’t believe I never knew.”
“Well, I never told anyone. And don’t get me wrong, I didn’t see your kids as replacements for my son. Nothing could ever replace him. But they saved me. They gave me a reason not to give up on life. A reason to plant some roots.”
“They were your family,” I said.
“They are my family.”
“I don’t know what we would have done without you,” I said. “You were a dad to them in so many ways. Maybe you weren’t trying to be. But you were the man they needed. You still are.”
He cleared his throat. “Thank you. It’s good to hear you say that.”
“You were the man I needed, too.”
“That was obviously more complicated,” he said with a grin. “I won’t pretend I didn’t have feelings for you before I should have. I did. But I wasn’t going to overstep.”
I traced my finger over the rim of my wine glass. “I feel like I wasted so much time. You were right here, and I could have…”
“Don’t think like that,” he said. “Mostly because dwelling on your regrets is no way to live. Believe me, I know. I almost drowned in regret. But who knows, maybe it wouldn’t have worked out before. I think we both needed to be ready.”
“I think you’re right.”
“And the real question is…” He paused, meeting my eyes. “Can I be the man you need now?”
“That’s not even a question.”
The smile he gave me made my heart beat faster. Full of heat and suggestion. His eyes lingered on me like a soft caress. I didn’t wilt under his gaze. A tingle of nervousness ran through my belly, but it felt good. Exciting.
Amelia had been right. I was glad I’d shaved my legs.
He broke eye contact and took my plate. “I should get this cleaned up.”
“Can I help?”
“No. You’re mine tonight…” He cleared his throat. “My guest tonight.”
This man. He was awakening some
thing in me—a piece of myself I’d lost. I felt her fire, smoldering inside, responding to Ben’s deep voice and soft touches. I wanted her back. And I wanted Ben to be the one to bring her out.
While he took our dishes to the kitchen, I got up and went to the window. Even in darkness, the view was beautiful. Lights in town winked and sparkled. Salishan’s land spread out below us. You could see some of the winery from here, including my house.
How many times had Ben come to my house unannounced, bringing extra produce he claimed would go bad, or a book he thought I’d like? Had he been standing here, gazing down at my house? Knowing I was alone? My heart ached with gratitude.
And something else. A feeling, long denied, was blossoming inside me. It was more than thankfulness for the way Ben had quietly supported me. More than the friendship that had grown between us these last two years.
I loved him. I loved him down to my very soul. It was terrifying to admit. Loving Ben would mean being vulnerable—risking my heart again.
But I knew he was worth the risk.
I heard him approach. Felt his presence behind me as I stood in front of the window. A tingle ran down my spine as he moved closer.
He ran his hands down my arms and spoke in a low voice. “Thank you for having dinner with me.”
“It was delicious.”
His hands continued their slow caress, up and down my bare arms. He put his face in my hair and breathed in deeply. My eyes fluttered closed, my body relaxing at his touch.
He brushed my hair to the side and leaned in close, placing a kiss on the back of my neck. I let out a sigh, trembling at the feel of his lips on my skin.
Running his hands through my hair, he tilted my head to the side. He trailed hot kisses down my bared neck, each one harder than the last. Kissed across my shoulder while one hand held my hair and the other slipped around my waist, pulling me against him.
My breath came faster as he worked his way back up my neck. His body was warm and solid behind me, an anchor for my swiftly beating heart and legs that felt like liquid. His kisses grew harder, more aggressive. I felt his tongue lapping out against my skin. Soft scrapes of his teeth behind my ear.
Gaining Miles: A Miles Family Novella (The Miles Family Book 5) Page 7
