Reflections in the Mirror

by Luis A. Santamaría

  My feelings were strong. So strong that it scared me. That was the conclusion I had got to an hour and a half ago, staring at the ceiling from my bed, while I thought about my reply:

  I won’t move. Safe travels.

  I felt stupid just for thinking it, but I was going to miss him. I’d miss someone I didn’t even know. Now that I thought about it, not knowing him meant I didn’t even know his name. I didn’t want him to go. I wanted to keep playing. I wanted him on the other side of my door forever.

  That night I almost fell asleep feeling stupid and ridiculous in equal measure. I would have managed to drop off completely if a hungry little rabbit hadn’t come out of nowhere determinedly licking my nose.

  27

  A middle-aged man relaxed on his sofa watching TV in his country house with a glass of cheap wine in one hand and the remote control in the other. His black moustache proudly dominated his face and complemented his long, yet receding hair.

  The wooden door flung open and a little brown-haired, chubby-cheeked girl burst into the room like a whirlwind.

  “Where’ve you been?” the man asked when his daughter leapt onto the sofa next to him.

  “Hi daddy! I’ve been with the girls at the river.”

  “It’s a lovely day to go to the river. But you take care, you’re still only twelve.”

  Her father switched his focus from the TV to his daughter.

  “So, did you have a nice time?”

  “Absolutely! We laughed loads and, guess what?”

  The girl’s eyes opened wide. “There was a new boy!”

  “Great,” the man said, asking himself if in the future he would be having problems with this little man. “Is he from here, the village?”

  “I think he’s from Madrid... But he’s really nice, although he doesn’t say much...”

  The girl put her hand to her mouth and a little giggle escaped.

  “Well, I’m glad that you’ve made a new friend. Be nice to him, being new can be hard, OK?” The man smiled. “By the way, you haven’t told me his name?”

  “His name? I can’t remember... Oh wait! I think he’s called Daniel!”

  Before misfortune had befallen the Santos family, they used to spend summer afternoons at the village outdoor pools, on the banks of the Riosequillos reservoir. While Jorge and Andrea relaxed reading books or playing cards in the shade of some tree, the boys let their hormones loose. At nineteen, Ricardo was the more active one. He came and went between the towels and the pool, and sometimes would disappear for several hours. From the shade of the tree, his parents often watched him dunking the girls his age and making an enemy or two of the boys.

  Daniel was the shy one, devouring comics lying on his towel. He didn’t have any friends in the village, and although he got on very well with his older brother, the age difference stopped them sharing friends.

  One day, while the family enjoyed some ice creams to combat the heat, Ricardo saw a long-legged girl hesitantly approach them.

  “Hey, squirt, isn’t that your girlfriend?” he asked Daniel.

  “I haven’t got a girlfriend!” protested Daniel.

  “So why are you going red?”

  “Shut up!”

  Ricardo laughed as Daniel’s cheeks went even redder than usual.

  “Chill, it was a joke. But that’s your little friend, right? I’m telling you because she’s coming over. I think she’s looking for you.”

  The youngest member of the family said nothing. He swallowed while he prepared for the unavoidable meeting with that strange creature in a pink bathing suit that was going to shake up his summer.

  “H..hi, Danny,” the little girl said when she finally got to their towels.

  “Hi...”

  Daniel would have liked for the earth to have swallowed him up there and then, the same feeling he would have many years later standing next to the railing of a loft bar in front of this same girl.

  “Do you want to come and play in the water with me?” she ventured.

  “To the water? Wi..with you?”

  An awkward silence bloomed while Ricardo watched on, amused.

  “Of course he wants to!” he shouted, lending a helping hand to his little brother. “Go on, go and play with your friend, squirt. It’ll be fun.”

  Ricardo winked at him and Daniel, indignant at having been called ‘squirt’ in front of a girl, gave his brother a hateful stare.

  “Come on, let’s go,” he said eventually. Inside he was jumping for joy.

  The girl’s face lit up. Then she turned and ran towards the pool dive bombing in. Daniel copied her enthusiastically. He didn’t pick up his comic again until bedtime.

  Daniel’s new friend lived with her father in a house on the outskirts of Buitrago. It was small but cosy and in the back garden, a hammock was strung between two almond trees.

  “When I grow up, I want to be a dancer,” Sofia said one August afternoon lying in the hammock.

  “Cool! I... I’ll be your gent!” Daniel replied from the dry grass where he was sitting.

  Sofia burst out laughing

  “It’s agent, silly!”

  “Well, that.”

  “What about you? What do you want to do when you grow up?”

  “I just told you: your agent.”

  “Don’t be daft, kid!”

  It fascinated Daniel that she should call him that. As he looked at her foolishly, Sofia got out of the hammock and sat down beside him. They spent several minutes holding hands in silence. It was getting dark when Sofia rested her head on Daniel’s shoulder.

  “I love these moments. I’ll always remember them.”

  “I know right? Isn’t it great to be like this?”

  Sofia’s father leaned out of the window.

  “Time to come in, kids,” he shouted with a deep voice. “Danny, do you want to stay for dinner?”

  “Yeah! Stay, please!”

  “I can’t,” replied Daniel. “My parents are waiting for me for dinner. Another day, OK? I’d better go, it’s getting late.”

  They said goodbye, promising to meet the next day.

  “In the place we said, OK?” Sofia called from the doorway of her house.

  “Where we said!”

  Daniel walked all the way home enjoying the butterflies in his stomach. Every now and then he’d say her name out loud (Sofia...) and he ran with joy.

  Total silence reigned at home, something unusual at that time of day. It was all in darkness except the kitchen, where Ricardo was frying some chicken.

  “Where are mum and dad?”

  Ricardo turned around in surprise. He hadn’t heard him come in over the sound of the spitting of the oil in the pan.

  “Hey, squirt. Mum had some stomach pain and dad’s taken her to the doctor. They said that if they weren’t back that we shouldn’t wait for them for dinner. You hungry?”

  Daniel shrugged his shoulders and sat down at the table waiting for his brother to finish making their dinner. Neither of them could have imagined that just then their lives were about to radically change.

  The first thing Daniel saw when he opened his eyes was the paper that confirmed his return to the game grounds: the ticket to his dreams. Lying face up on the living room sofa, he looked at his watch.

  He was taken aback.

  His siesta had gone on until dusk. Then, what happened that morning came back to him, just after his dad had given him the good news. What had that shock been? Anyone would think he had fainted from the emotional impact of the big news about playing again. But he hadn’t had a drop in blood pressure nor had he passed out. A second after the attack, everything had gone back to normal. Jorge stayed in the middle of the path as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. But it had. At that moment he had felt like his brain was on the verge of collapse.

  Wrapped up in his sombre digressions, he didn’t realise that he was home alone.

  Still half asleep, Daniel headed to the kitchen and made himself some di
nner. When you sit alone at the table, the boredom makes you think.

  I need to get my act together if I want to get to the end of the season in shape. I can’t let this opportunity get away, he said to himself as he chewed on a chunk of cheese.

  He finished his dinner in no time at all then went to watch TV for a while. He didn’t go to bed late. The following day was important and he wanted to be well rested.

  Since he had arrived in Buitrago, Daniel hadn’t taken any risks with his recovery. That day would be the first. He didn’t care about the time frames, Manu’s opinions were insignificant in a crucial moment like that one. He had less than a week until he would go back to being a basketball player. He had to get fit.

  An obstacle stood in his path in the garden.

  “Morning, Jorge,” greeted Daniel seriously. “I’ll be back soon.”

  Jorge seemed to be in a good mood as he watered the plants.

  “Who are you running away from?” he said with a grin.

  “Running away?”

  “Where are you hurrying off to?”

  “I’m going for a run,” Daniel didn’t hesitate.

  “Oh! Have a good run then. I’d come with you but lately my hip has been playing up a bit.”

  Daniel wasn’t sure whether his father was being serious or was making fun of him, something he was starting to get used to. He waved a carefree goodbye and left Jorge hanging on to the hosepipe in the garden. Daniel thought it was strange that his father hadn’t tried to discourage him. It’s too soon, I’m sure Manu wouldn’t approve, was what he’d imagined he’d say. But none of that happened.

  He started at a slow jog. Like a child learning to walk, the first few steps felt strange. Then his confidence grew after a few metres and he left the village behind following the path towards the reservoir. The wind blew against his cheeks, it was pleasant. After several minutes, he realised that he hadn’t passed any walkers or cyclists, which was quite unusual. Although he struggled to keep his breathing even, his legs responded without any pain. He had always liked to see the world through a runner’s eyes, fast motion. Feeling like a climber reaching the top of Everest, he reached the reservoir.

  It wasn’t normal to feel that good.

  The way back was a slight down-hill, letting him increase his pace slightly. His legs started to ache but he ignored them. He could see the first houses of the village in the distance. His muscles burned and his joints screeched. His lungs puffed with silent screams while his heart pumped spent blood. But something kept them going, ordering them to carry on. His soul, high on motivation and hope, didn’t comprehend pain, not anymore. The adrenaline spurred his legs on. Luckily for his injured knee, the end of the path was nearby. He crossed the central square like a bullet and turned the corner. There, in front of the stone archway, he stopped. He rested his hands on his knees and breathed deeply. He’d been reckless, but he was pleased at having done so. Once his arms and legs stopped shaking, he passed under the city wall and entered the castle courtyard.

  He was alone, so he headed over to one of the benches in front of the church to stretch his muscles.

  A few seconds later, he heard the cry of a child. The sound was coming from the back wall of the church where a girl sobbed. She was sitting on a rock with her back leaning against the stone wall of the church. She was alone, so Daniel decided to go over and see what was upsetting her.

  The child didn’t notice him. Before Daniel got to her, she wiped her tears on her sleeve and crossed the courtyard, ignoring him. Daniel felt invisible to her. The wind had stopped blowing. Suddenly, it was like being in a dream, making his hairs stand on end.

  On the opposite side of the yard stood a small stone monolith with a gothic cross sculpted on the top. The girl stopped next to the monolith and crouched down to pick up a sharp stone. Full of curiosity, Daniel went closer. He couldn’t work out what the girl was writing. When she could do no more, the child dropped the stone and broke into inconsolable tears.

  Suddenly, Daniel felt a sharp pain in his chest. He knew that little girl. Or at least he used to know her. Unable to work out if what was happening was real or if it was all just a dream, he remembered the happy summers of his childhood. And memories of that girl there, crying in front of him, came back to him, sitting in her father’s garden. A flashback to a hammock strung between two trees. Another flashback, the girl was holding his hand. I’m going to be your agent...

  His heart melted.

  How could I have forgotten? He wondered. What was her name?...

  The sky lit up. Blinded, he covered his eyes with his hands. Only the girl, who was still crying seemingly unperturbed by the bright light, was clear in the immense sea of white light.

  Then the girl lifted her head and took her hands away from her face. What Daniel saw chilled him to the core and flooded him with love at the same time. The girl looked at him for the first time, only she wasn’t a girl now, but a beautiful young woman whose face was the living image of compassion.

  Her name was Sofia.

  Floating in the light, he tried to stroke Sofia’s cheek in spite of worrying that any swift movement might make the dream end.

  And that’s exactly what happened. Just as he almost felt the touch of her skin, Sofia moved away and, with the look of someone who knows the answer to some cryptic puzzle, she winked and smiled. Then she turned away. Daniel was paralysed by a sudden attack. It was the same electric shock that had hit him the day before, only this time it was stronger. It passed through his body and took control of his muscles making them tense.

  When the electric shock started to wear off, Daniel regained control over his body. The tension had made his jaw ache. He was sitting on a bench (although he couldn’t remember getting there) and, looking around him suspiciously, realised he was still in the courtyard. The branches went back to swaying to the sound of the wind and the white light had disappeared along with the girl.

  “Sofia!” he shouted.

  What he had just experienced hadn’t been a dream, but a hallucination from his fatigue. Back in reality, he remembered that the girl had been carving something a few seconds before. He turned around instinctively and what he saw left him confused. Four sentences had been carved into the old wood.

  Kid, why haven’t you come back? 27/07/1993

  Will I see you again? Please come find me 21/07/1994

  I miss you, where are you? 19/07/1995

  I haven’t forgotten you, kid 24/07/1996

  Daniel understood. What had just happened wasn’t a hallucination after all, it was something that he should never had forgotten. But then again, it couldn’t be a memory, he hadn’t been there when Sofia had carved those messages. What was all this about? Some sort of message? Without realising it until now, he’d been connected to Sofia almost his whole life. The attraction he’d felt towards Sofia that night in his brother’s bar hadn’t been a coincidence, and it was clear that the love she felt towards him was true. At least, it had been.

  He’d acted like a complete idiot. He hadn’t been brave enough to take what he now longed for. Was it too late? Deep down, he was still the shy little kid who read comics on his towel while his older brother flirted with all the girls. The problem was that this time, no long-legged girl was going to come over and ask him to play in the water with her, and his big brother wasn’t around anymore to help him out.

  28

  The following Friday no note slipped under the door. I had known, he had told me himself: he’d be away for a whole month.

  That evening I didn’t leave the house. I couldn’t help staying at home without doing anything, looking at the hall every now and then to see if the last note he’d sent had just been a big joke.

  Just then, nothing would have made me happier than seeing a note slide under the door.

  How ironic! A few weeks ago, I couldn’t stop looking, terrified, waiting for the first sign of something untoward to call the police; hoping that no letter would turn up but knowing i
t was unavoidable. Now it was exactly the opposite. I longed to see a paper skim across the floor knowing full well that wasn’t going to happen.

  The same thing happened the second Friday. And the third, and the fourth. That was the dullest month I’d had in a long time. I got a bad tummy, the doctor diagnosed me with work-related stress, but I knew it was just because of my nerves. It was only the emotional deprivation of my Friday liaisons, but also the butterflies in my tummy had turned against me.

  I didn’t even know what I was going to say to him when he came back from his month away. I didn’t know if I’d just open the door and be done with it, if I’d keep playing the game, or maybe even make up my own. I couldn’t take it any more.

  And then the fifth Friday came around.

  29

  Oscar would have given his bonus pay to see Daniel’s face when he told him all the details of his latest date with Almudena.

  “Bloody hell, Oscar, you were right, I’ll admit it. You make the best burgers in Madrid,” Almudena had said, leaning on the bar and licking the barbecue sauce off of her fingers.

  “In the whole of Madrid? I’d say in the entire known universe,” he’d joked from the other side of the bar.

  “Don’t be such a big head, I was starting to like you.” Almudena smiled with her cheeks full of the rest of the burger. Later he recognised that what she’d done was quite improper; meeting up with a stranger who she had met one day on the train and staying after the burger bar closed with him. Half an hour earlier, Oscar had locked the door and pulled down the blinds. Only the bar had any lights on, the rest of the restaurant was in total darkness. They were alone in the universe they’d created for themselves.