The Last Man Alive

by A S Neill

  Neill objected. "How can I give orders to swab the decks to a bunch of lieutenants, commodores, even admirals", and he indicated Bunny and Robert.

  But the crew refused to give up their rank. Neill sat in his cabin for half an hour studying navigation, and when he had mastered it, ordered Chief Engineer Commander Gordon to give Full Speed Astern.... Luckily there was another British torpedo boat in the harbour, and they swam to this one, and Neill spent another half-hour studying navigation. He got the ship out with the help of four motor-launches which the boys used as tugs, and once at sea he felt that he couldn't do much harm whatever order he gave to the engine-room. Soon the ship was sailing south in a calm sea. The boys had tied the motor-launches on astern in case of accidents. They made Durban in good time, and in a few days anchored off Cape Town. They were two days out from Cape Town when the mutiny began. Neill had ordered David to box the binnacle, and David started to argue about it.

  The Captain began to look angry. "An order is an order", he thundered, "and must be carried out."

  "O.K.", said David, "if you'll tell me what and where the binnacle is I'll box it."

  It was then that Captain Neill swore for half an hour without repeating himself.

  "I ship a bunch of land-lubbers", he cried, "and you don't know one thing about a ship."

  Robert had fetched a dictionary from the boatswain's cabin.

  "Binnacle", he read: "the box on a ship that holds the compass. How the heck can David box a blinking box?"

  "That is the language of mutiny", cried the Captain. "Get furrad, you scum. Not you, David, me lad. Will you box that binnacle?"

  "I'll try", said David with a grin, and he hit the binnacle with a straight left followed by an upper cut. The compass went out of action and remained out of action.

  "You fool!" roared the Captain.

  David saluted.

  "Your orders have been carried out, sir", he said.

  The crew had a meeting forrard.

  "He can't steer the ship without a compass", said David, "and I votes we chuck him off and get another captain." Carried unanimously. Robert and Bunny were sent aft to interview the captain.

  "We've elected Gordon in your place", they said.

  Neill smiled an ugly smile.

  "Indeed", he said, and opening a drawer he took out a revolver. "This is mutiny, and on the high seas mutiny is punishable by death. I am captain and I remain captain of this ship."

  "Then why don't you steer it straight?" asked Robert. "We've been going in circles for the last three hours."

  "Insolent ruffians!" cried the captain. "Get out!"

  They reported to the ship's Soviet.

  "We'll have a stay-in strike", suggested Jean, and they did.

  Neill acted as steersman, but he had to sleep, and all his shouts brought no one on deck. After a fourteen's hour watch, he tied the helm so that the ship would go round in circles, and, turning in, he fell fast asleep.

  TO BE CONTINUED…

  - Discussion of Chapter 8

  "So the ape civilisation was no use?" said Michael. "I don't believe that the apes could saw trees."

  "I wish you hadn't made Spike die", said Betty. "He was a nice gangster."

  "But don't you see", said David, "that he'll have to make the other men die too? Fritz, Pyecraft and himself, they'll have to die."

  "Why?" I asked.

  " 'Cos you are no use. Only the young ones should live."

  "But if I die", said I, "how can I end the story?"

  "We could become spiritualists", chuckled Jean, "and then your ghost could come back and tell us the story. Make all the stone people come back as ghosts, and we'll fight them."

  "I think", said Gordon, who had been sitting very thoughtful, "that there is one big flaw in the story. There must have been hundreds of men down in submarines, and the cloud couldn't have touched them. They would all be alive."

  "Yes", I said, "I agree that that is a reasonable deduction, but again you show your ignorance of science. This cloud, which was composed mainly of SiF2(CN)2 united with the H2O of the sea and formed the chemical compounds HF and HCN, which were, if anything, more poisonous and, on the account of the SiO2 which was also formed, petrified every moist tissue they touched."

  "There's no such formula", said Bunny.

  I ignored the interruption.

  "So that when the submarine crews came to the surface they met a sort of hanging mist that turned them into stone."

  "All of them?" asked Robert. "Couldn't there be one submarine of - say - Franco's that stayed down long enough to come up when the mist had gone?"

  "When I come to think of it", I said slowly, "I believe there was one of Franco's submarines that did survive."

  "Good", said the boys together.

  "You haven't had your revenge for me burning the White Horse yet", laughed Betty.

  "The story is not yet ended", I said softly.

  "There's not nearly enough blood in it", said Michael. "Why didn't we have fights with lions all the way to the coast? And shooting the apes with machine-guns was too easy. I want hand-to-hand battles with axes or swords. I hope Franco's submarine attacks the torpedo boat." "If I am the captain!" said David. "Box the binnacle! You don't know much about the sea, Neill. You box the compass."

  "What does that mean?" I asked.

  "Why", said David scornfully, "it means putting the lid on it after you have used it. You shouldn't try to tell a story of the sea if you don't know what the words mean. What's the opposite of port?"

  "Claret", I said hastily, and the boys shouted: "Ses you!" and went away.

  But the girls stayed.

  "It isn't exactly what you would call a love story, Neill, is it?" said Betty.

  "Weren't you just a little in love with Spike?" I asked.

  Betty blushed.

  "I liked him, but I wasn't in love with him. You can't fall in love with a man in a story. But I don't think you should have made him die to save Jean."

  "Why not?" asked Jean bridling.

  "I dunno. Just seems silly to have a man die for a kid like you. In the films when a chap dies, it is always 'cos he loves a woman his own age. And she never never marries, just gets old and looks at his photo every day."

  "Oh, you're so mushy", said Jean with scorn, "and you're just jealous too. If I had a face like -" but I stepped in and declared the sitting ended.

  Chapter 9

  As he slept Captain Neill was seized by the crew and clapped into irons. Michael was elected Captain, and, setting a course by the stars, he sailed for the Spanish Main. When they again reached Cape Town Captain Michael hastily explained to his indignant crew that he had returned for oil.

  "But we had enough to take us to Madeira", said Pyecraft. "Why go south again?"

  Then it came out that Michael had forgotten that he was in the southern hemisphere, and had mistaken the Southern Cross for the Great Bear. So Gordon was made captain, and when he had brought them to Ceylon, Evelyn was elected in his stead.

  "The method of trial and error", said Pyecraft wearily, after they had touched at Rio and Hong Kong and Thursday Island, "must bring us back to Europe." And it did ultimately. One morning they looked out and saw the Rock of Gibraltar. They were not sure, so they brought Neill up in his irons, and he identified the Rock, for he had spent a few days there once.

  The Bay of Biscay was, as usual, rough, and the bad sailors had a beastly time. "Funny", said David, "but the first day at sea you are afraid the ship will go down, and the rest of the voyage you're afraid it won't."

  "Is that original?" asked Pyecraft.

  "Of course", said David. "Why?"

  "Only that I said that in 1925", said Pyecraft.

  "Mean to tell me that you hadn't read Mark Twain till 1925?" asked Michael.

  Gordon, on the bridge, summoned Bunny to his side.

  "See that over there?" he said. "If I didn't know that we were the only people left alive, I'd swear that was the periscope of a subm
arine."

  "Maybe it is", said Bunny. "Maybe filled with stone men. Let's fire a salvo at it for practice."

  So they cleared for action, and six guns roared and belched.

  "Got it!" cried Gordon, "right through the periscope. Will you have a cigar or nuts?"

  They were all laughing at the joke when a torpedo went zooming past the ship. They stared in consternation at the submarine which was now riding on the water. It ran up the flag of Nationalist Spain. Its gun spoke and hit the torpedo boat clean amidships.

  "Fire!" yelled Gordon, but before they could get the range the submarine sought the depths.

  "Depth charge it!" roared Gordon, but they did not know where the depth charges were kept. However, Betty found one but it failed to explode... but Evelyn did when she discovered that her plum pudding had been sent to the bottom of the bottom of the Bay of Biscay.

  Meanwhile Neill was shouting from his hold. He had no idea of what was happening. It was Evelyn who went down and unlocked his irons, and, when attacked by the others, she said it was absurd to have anyone in irons when they were in such great danger. Pyecraft agreed with her, and the others reluctantly consented to Neill having his freedom. Bunny was heard to say in disappointed tones that they should have made him walk the plank. He had seen and admired the film The Mutiny on the Bounty.

  It was a time for action.

  "We've got to get ahead full steam", said Neill. "If I were captain -"

  "You are not going to be captain", said Robert firmly. "I'm going to stay on the bridge til we reach Portsmouth."

  He finished speaking and then: Crash! A torpedo got them in the engine-room, and the ship began to heel over. They rushed for the boats. In less than three minutes they were tossing helplessly on the sea, trying frantically to keep their small boat steady in the whirlpool the sinking torpedo boat made.

  Franco's boat came to the surface and approached them slowly. Pyecraft asked them in Spanish what they meant to do, but they did not understand him.

  "I am Italian", said the captain of the submarine, "and my men are German. Why did you fire on us?"

  Gordon explained that it was a joke, that they did not know the submarine had live men in it.

  "Oh", said the Italian suspiciously, "what side are you on?"

  "What do you mean?" asked Michael.

  "What side were you on in the Spanish War?"

  "Government", said Michael boldly.

  "So it was no joke", said the Italian. "You deliberately tried to sink us."

  "No", said Michael with brave honesty, "but if we had known you were Franco's men we would have sunk you at sight."

  "Kind of you", sneered the Italian, and he gave a quick order to his men, and they tied a rope to the boat, and the submarine set off to tow it into Santander.

  In Santander they were put into the town prison, and two German guards were stationed outside. Fritz spoke to them in German and learned that the captain was one Silvo, one of the cruellest of the Nationalists. Neill, who had read Spanish Testament, quaked with fear. He asked for a private interview with Silvo and was given one.

  "Look here", said Neill, "why are you keeping us prisoners? We don't want to fight you. All we want is to get back to England. You can have all Spain and the whole of Europe."

  Silvo smiled cynically.

  "And give you England? Your young people go back to England and they grow up and have children, while we, having no women, die out. No, sir, no. We are willing to let the males go to England, but the females will stay with us. Nationalist Spain must live." When Neill reported this conversation the boys saw no difficulty about it.

  "Quite simple", said David. "We don't want the girls, do we, lads?" And they were all of the same opinion.

  But Fritz said that was all very well, but what did the girls think about it? Did they want to stay and marry the foreigners when they grew up? Evelyn said she didn't mind much, but Jean and Betty were furious at the boys for what they called treachery.

  "Betraying your womenfolk to save your own miserable hides", spat Betty. "You can go if you like, but rather than marry a Francoite I'll kill myself." And she looked as if she meant it.

  About half an hour later one of the German sailors came in carrying a gramophone. Silvo followed with a record in his hand.

  "Kind man after all", whispered Evelyn, "going to play us a hot rhythm."

  The sailor wound up the gramophone, and Silvo put on the record. Everyone grew pale, for the record was a speaking one: it was speaking in English, reproducing the words that they had spoken half an hour before.

  "You didn't know there was a microphone in the cell", said Silvo grimly. He turned to Betty. "So you are the girl who said that you rather kill yourself than marry a Francoite? Bah!" and he gave Betty a wipe on the cheek. Robert started up and reached for a gun that wasn't there, but he sank down again when one of the sailors covered him with a revolver.

  When Silvo had gone they found themselves in a dilemma. The question was how to speak without being registered by the microphone. David suggested the deaf and dumb alphabet, and they used it until Silvo put a stop to it by switching out the light. They finally settled the conversation problem by using the language they had picked up from Spike, and Silvo spent a whole day playing and replaying a record that began with: "Nuts on the frail biz." (It was Robert speaking). "Us for the Summerhill lam. Give the dagoes the woiks and step on the graft gas if they stall on the up grade." Silvo was furious, but he would have been less furious if he had known that Robert's sentences conveyed a different meaning to each of his listeners. He brought the record of Robert's conversation in, and ordered Michael to translate it. "Oke," said Michael unblushingly, "Nuts on the frail biz, that means that Robert likes nuts to eat. The word frail means fragile, easily broken. Robert likes nuts that are easily broken."

  "What does biz mean?" demanded Silvo.

  "That", said Gordon, "is poetic licence... it was summer time and the bees were bizzing around the nut trees."

  Silvo frowned. "What does Us for the Summerhill lam mean ? "

  Michael put on an innocent smile. "We are longing to get back to Betty's little lamb," he said. "Its fleece was white as snow..."

  "You are swindling me", cried Silvo in anger. "It is a code, a cypher. If you use it again I will have you all beaten with rubber sticks", and he went out, slamming the cell door.

  Fritz, the electrician, did things to the mike with a horse nail, and, as none of the Germans knew anything about mikes, the recordings stopped, but poor Fritz was badly beaten up. The German guards were then ordered to listen to every conversation, for they knew English, but Neil and Pyecraft tricked them by speaking German. The guards could not understand it.

  One morning, about a week after their imprisonment, Silvo arrived and announced that the males were to be put into a motor-boat to make their way as best they could to England. The females would stay behind.

  "If we refuse?" asked Bunny.

  Silvo tapped his revolver significantly, and David sang to a foxtrot tune: "Nix on the mix in. We'll scram and tag the broads from the froggie circuit."

  "What does that mean ?" asked Silvo.

  Just a song," smiled David, " a mere song, an old French ballad."

  Silvo fumed but could do nothing. He lifted his gun and seemed about to shoot David, but David put on so innocent a look that Silvo reparked his gun. They were put in a boat with provisions for seven days, and they set out on what looked like a long voyage. When darkness fell Neill turned to David: "I presume that when you said we would tag the broads from the froggie circuit you meant to convey to the girls that we'd land in France and try to rescue them across the Pyrenees ? "

  "Apennines", corrected David, "Yes. We can't leave them to blokes like that."

  "I think," said Robert, "that we ought to creep back in the dark and pinch their submarine."

  "Too well guarded", said Pyecraft. "We're sure to find a submarine in a harbour like Bordeaux."

  And they
found one of the most modern submarines riding in the harbour of Bordeaux, a lovely ship. They began to explore it.

  "Wonder how it sinks", said Bunny, and a moment later, when Pyecraft came aboard, it sank right away. Bunny managed to close the hatch in time to prevent the ship's flooding. None of them had ever been in a submarine before, and all were scared stiff. Luckily, Bunny tripped over the lever for the oxygen ventilating apparatus, and they gradually lost their fear.

  "All I know about a submarine", said Neill, is that under water it runs off accumulators, but you have to sail on the surface in order to charge these accumulators. Test them, Michael."

  Michael tested them and found them almost fully charged, and they began to experiment with various levers. After a time they found how to raise the ship so that only the periscope was above the surface, and then they found how to make the engines go. They looked gingerly at the torpedo tube, but decided not to experiment with it till they were well out to sea. Later, they practised with a dummy torpedo and found that they could hit the target about six times in a hundred.

  "We'll have to rely on the four-inch gun", said Gordon, "even if it means coming to the surface to fire it each time."

  They cautiously made their way back to Santander, and, in the early morning, they lay outside the harbour. Pyecraft, who was using the periscope, suddenly cried: "The Franco submarine has disappeared!" It had. They came to the surface and sailed into dock. The enemy had gone, taking the girls with them. They searched the prison but could find no clue to their whereabouts. Suddenly Bunny pounced on a tiny scrap of paper in a corner of the prison yard. On it was the word BURGOS ... in red ink.

  "Betty's writing", he said, " writ with her own blood. But where is Burgos?"

  No one knew until they found a map. Burgos was inland, and that meant abandoning the submarine. Michael's suggestion to put wheels on the submarine was not taken very seriously.

  "It's either footing it or horsing it", said Robert, "and I've got an idea. Do you notice how all the stone people are growing whiter in the rain and sun? I votes we get whitewash, and then we can approach as near them as we like if we don't let them see us moving."