by Nikki Rae
It was a lot of information to process. They couldn’t wait to get rid of me, as I’d told my Owner before, but the Compound wouldn’t just give me away. Regardless of my status, lower Members were still currency.
“So Odette went to House Wolf and…they said we could have her back if he gave them me?” I was desperate to understand, to know what had occurred before I’d entered the picture. “And she did it before anyone else could offer their help.”
Marius nodded. “Precisely.” His eyes softened. “And Odette and I agreed that it would be safer for you if you were purchased by Elliot. We could better control the situation.”
Escaping the Wolves the first time was difficult enough, and it had been messy. I couldn’t imagine how much worse it might have been had my Owner not been forced to step in. How another man in his position would have taken advantage of me with no regard for my future or freedom.
After a pause, Marius took it upon himself to change the subject again. “I have something for you.” Standing, he walked the short distance to the living room area. He retrieved a black giftbag from beside the couch and set it down on the table. “Elliot suggested I take you for a swim, so he had these sent.”
Parting the silver crinkly paper, I found a sleek black swimsuit. It was elegant in its simplicity; a one-piece with a scooping neckline and thicker straps that would hang partially off my shoulders. Included was a matching transparent coverup which was more like a silk robe between my fingers.
“I…” Swallowing, I attempted to appear grateful. “I don’t think I can wear this.”
It was all I could think to say.
Smiling, Marius took the empty bag from me and set it on the floor. Then he crouched beside my seat, hand brushing my knee as he looked me in the eye.
“It’s only you and me,” he said, hand traveling upward over the thin fabric of my pants, tracing the scars beneath. “I promise I won’t stare.”
I fought a grin, not yet ready to let him make me feel better.
Patting my leg, he got to his feet. “I will change into mine and come back.”
From how quiet he’d become, I could tell this was something that made him just as uncomfortable. “You don’t need—”
“I will,” he said with a polite smile, clearing the plates without comment before disappearing into his room.
With nothing else to do, I headed back to my bedroom and undressed again. The fabric was tight and unforgiving, hugging my hips and digging into the skin slightly around my arms and between my legs. I was still overly sensitive from this morning, and the realization made my cheeks flush. But when I looked in the mirror, turning my thighs in the morning light, I was brought back to earth. I wondered if I would acquire more scars before this whole ordeal was over. If I would have additional reminders of the past. How I’d ruined it all.
“Everything okay?” Marius’ muffled voice came through the door, startling me.
I didn’t know why I was so nervous. Perhaps it was the fact that our time was even more limited now. If I could so easily make my Owner question everything about me, I was afraid I would inadvertently hurt Marius as well.
“Yes,” I answered, quickly slipping on the sheer robe.
Arms wrapped around myself, I stepped out of my bedroom. I was suddenly cold in the open space with so little clothing. Marius was facing the window, half turning when he heard me enter.
The swim trunks he wore extended beyond his knees; all the way up his calves were branches of scars, disappearing under the blue material. His broad chest and shoulders were crisscrossed with similar patterns along with marks that resembled the very ones with which the Wolf had branded me. I didn’t think his were from a belt.
My eyes met his and Marius was staring back, gauging my expression. Light streamed through the windows and onto his chest, trickling down to his abdomen and the coarse, dark line of hair that led into his waistband.
Unaware I’d moved, I found myself in front of him, wanting the sun to grace my skin as well. I heard his abrupt intake of breath, the trembling fingertips at his side gripping my hand as if he was unsteady. Marius let me stare, drawing me closer and placing my hand in the center of his chest. As if he didn’t know what to do with himself, his arms wound around my waist.
We’d held each other in many other ways, but I couldn’t recall a time he’d been this bare. Beneath my fingers, I felt the silky scar that ran the length of my palm. There was a sparse trail of hair, glinting in the light as I brought my lips to the exact spot.
His breathing had become a little shaky, but he didn’t stop me. I wasn’t sure what I was trying to accomplish, what need I intended to fulfill by doing this. It wasn’t like I could kiss it better. Bad people had done bad things to him, and Marius carried the evidence under layers of clothing. I only knew a fraction of what that felt like; the marks from my former Owner came with relief. I was damaged and unworthy. Undesirable. I wouldn’t be sold again. And he was dead. He would never be able to hurt anyone else.
Or so I’d thought.
Marius allowed me to kneel before him, hand in my hair as I kissed the wide pink scar on his abdomen. The muscles tensed and then relaxed. My mind wandered briefly to what could have happened had I not run that first time. If Jäger had captured me and brought me back. Marius had no escape from his Master. He’d had the freedom of a servant, so it wouldn’t have been difficult for him to slip away.
If it wasn’t for his love for Elliot, would Marius have found a way out, or would he have been forgotten like the rest of us?
Though I hadn’t been aware, tears had misted my eyes. All we’d sacrificed, all we’d endured, had been for some semblance of freedom. Now we were about to destroy that hope to protect others. The forgotten girls and boys behind Vultures’ doors.
Marius gently tipped my head so I was looking at him. “Ma chérie,” he whispered, voice like sandpaper, “do not mourn my past.”
He helped me to my feet, hand never leaving my face. I tried to wipe away the tears, but it seemed important to Marius that he did it for me. “It doesn’t hurt anymore.”
I gave him a watery smile, but he was focused on my throat—the scar from my old tracker that Master Lyon had redone. He’d learned how to make ugly things pretty from Marius, and he’d tried to give me the same gift.
Then his green eyes settled in the center of my chest; the large pink scar from when I’d torn out my Owner’s tracker. He paused, hand hovering inches from my bare skin, and when I didn’t protest he traced the crooked line.
“I like scars,” he said. “They remind us of where we’ve been. What we’ve lived through.” He kissed my cheek; I got the sense it was to hide his face. “But we don’t need to relive it all the time.”
His mouth curved into a sad smile. He was right. I’d survived each mark, and I would survive this too. These were truths we didn’t need to keep repeating.
***
Together, we walked down the sand dune-lined path to the secluded beach, where a white canopy had been set up. Marius and I sat in lounges underneath, applying sunscreen to each other’s bodies and then watching the waves side by side as it sank in.
From the corner of my eye, I could tell the longer we were still, the more Marius seemed eager to take some kind of action. When I turned to face him, he was already halfway out of his chair.
“How about a swim?” he asked like he was nervous I’d say no.
I stood, clasping his hand when it was offered to me. The sand was warm under my bare feet, and the sun was equally welcome on my exposed skin. My eyes were sensitive at first, and I had to squint across the clear blue waves. It seemed to stretch on forever, our private little beach surrounded by dark rocks. There were no other people in sight, the only sounds the waves colliding with the shore or the intermittent wail of a gull.
Marius and I strolled along the edge; he waited for me to step further into the ocean. The water was cold at first, but as it lapped around my ankles and then my calves and thighs
, my body grew accustomed to the temperature. Marius brought me close as I waded up to my chest.
“Here.” Beneath the waves, his hand roamed my legs, guiding them around his hips. I wound my arm behind his neck, gasping involuntarily when he carried me deeper into the water.
Marius was far taller than me, and the current didn’t affect his stance. I remembered the first night Master Lyon and I had shared together. How he’d thrown us both into the pool, shocked when he discovered I didn’t know how to swim. Neither of them would hold me under the way Jäger had; my House had kept my head above the waves thus far. It would carry me through the next few days and what came afterwards. I held tighter to him, salt clinging to the droplets beading our skin.
“We can go back,” Marius said quietly, mistaking my need to be close for fear.
“No,” I said in his ear, and I felt a slight shudder go through his legs. “I’m okay.”
He made no indication he’d heard me, letting me hang onto him as he rubbed my back. I wanted this moment to be another memory; I wanted to absorb it all.
We spent the next few hours with Marius teaching me how to swim. I didn’t understand the value of learning this skill right now, but if nothing else it provided a distraction.
Once I’d become comfortable on my own, Marius challenged me with a race, or asked me to try a flip under water as I held my breath. In the midst of his instruction, Marius found a way to make it fun, even drawing a few laughs from me.
When my limbs were sufficiently sore, Marius swam back to the beach with me, where we dragged the chaises from the canopy so we could dry off in the sun. The rest of the day, we alternated dozing together or wading into the cool waves. Heat drunk and too tired to worry about what lay ahead, Marius let me lean against his shoulder as we strode back up the hill late in the afternoon.
He’d wrapped a towel around his hips, the weight dangerously close to revealing too much. He seemed unaware of it, and I struggled not to stare as I huddled under mine.
Sliding open the back door, Marius guided us back inside. The cool air made me shiver as he locked it behind us, punching in the security code on the device affixed to the wall.
“Go take a warm shower,” he said, hand on the small of my back as if I’d forgotten where the bathroom was located. “Zoe is bringing us dinner.”
His tone was even, but I knew there was a distinct need within him to give me directions. Similarly, I desired his tasks just as much. I trusted everything he wanted me to do, even in the simplest of senses.
It was quiet in the bathroom and I was eager to turn on the spray. When I was finished, I stepped into a white sundress printed with yellow flowers that had appeared in my closet. Less than a year ago, I would have viewed this gesture as Master Lyon attempting to control me from afar. Now, I knew with unwavering certainty that this was my Owner’s way of showing me he was thinking of me, trying to make me comfortable when we were too far away to touch.
From my suitcase, I pulled out the necklace he’d given me and clasped it around my neck. I supposed I wouldn’t be able to bring this with me, so I would burn its weight into my mind as well. I found a pair of plain sandals and slipped them onto my feet. After I’d dried and combed my hair into loose, wild curls, I headed back into the living room.
The distinct sound of running water competed for the soft melody of a violin coming from a portable speaker on the counter.
I took a seat on the couch and folded my hands in my lap. I didn’t know what was expected of me—if anything was. A sudden, short buzzing sent my pulse into overdrive, and I was on my feet in seconds.
Marius emerged a moment later, towel draped around his neck to keep his grey shirt from getting damp. The long sleeves covered the majority of his scars, but he hadn’t had time to button it all the way.
“It’s all right,” he said as he passed, a hand on my shoulder until I settled back into the couch. With a reassuring smile, he headed for the door.
Zoe stood on the other side, and I heard the crinkling of paper bags as she handed them to Marius.
“Would you like to come in?” he asked, drawing my attention to her.
Zoe glanced from him to me, somewhat confused at how comfortable we were with each other. “No, thank you.”
Without further comment or so much as a glance in our direction, Zoe marched off the porch to a waiting black SUV.
If Marius noticed her unease, he said nothing about it. Instead, he gestured with his head to the coffee table as he locked the door behind him. “Would you like to eat there?”
“Sure,” I answered, voice too squeaky.
We shared food from foil containers while a movie I didn’t recognize played on the TV in the background. Afterwards, Marius let me help him wash up, standing mercifully close and making every excuse to brush against me. I wasn’t the only one craving a deeper distraction.
When the last dish was dry and put away, Marius wouldn’t quite meet my eyes. Instead, he pretended to be preoccupied with what he was doing when his motions were, at best, robotic. I inched closer, and when he didn’t back away, I pressed my lips just below the neckline of his undershirt, grazing the delicate scars beneath.
“Thank you,” I said to fill the silence with something other than the thudding pulse in my temples.
Setting aside the towel we’d used to wash the dishes, he wrapped his arms around my waist, lips brushing my cheek. “You’re welcome.”
My breath caught in my throat, but I hid it well, stuffing it into a corner of my mind that was just out of reach. To my surprise, Marius cupped my jaw, bringing us closer and forcing me to stand on my toes to meet him. His mouth hesitated over mine. Marius didn’t like to do things without asking—until he was positive no one would be hurt in the end.
I tested him, nipping at his lower lip. He rose to the challenge, hands on either side of my face while he took the lead, gently tugging my hair. The stubble along his jaw had grown just a little since this morning, tickling my face, and I almost giggled as his tongue explored mine.
We broke apart at the sound of his phone ringing, and Marius pulled it out of his pocket to answer.
“Yes, Elliot,” he practically panted, and I stepped aside so he could maneuver around me. He cleared his throat as he listened to my Owner on the other end of the line, and I struggled to catch my breath as well.
“I’m sure she wants to speak to you,” he said calmly, eyes flashing to me. I shook my head, not knowing what I would say. “Just let her call when she’s ready.”
There was a reply on the other end, and Marius turned towards his bedroom. I nodded, knowing he wanted to be alone. I needed to take some time for myself too. He did, however, keep the door cracked so I could hear his voice. I couldn’t make out specifics, and mostly Marius only gave short, clipped answers that offered no information. Eventually, the conversation came to an end, and I waited longer than I should have just to be safe.
Part of me wanted to wait for Marius to return, but I was already walking towards the hall. I peered around the doorframe to see him sitting at a wooden desk shoved against the wall, typing away on his laptop. He didn’t hear me come in, only looking up when I was standing at his side.
The screen reflected off his glasses, and he took them off as if they suddenly embarrassed him. “He is coming back earlier than planned,” Marius said softly, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I was just moving up our flights.” He shifted his focus to the computer once again. “We need to leave tomorrow evening.”
The news hit me like a physical assault, but I didn’t let the pain enter my expression. It wouldn’t have mattered, as he was still concentrating. “Please,” he said, “make yourself comfortable. I’ll be done in a minute.”
Replacing his glasses, Marius continued his work. Without moving, I scanned the room. Like mine, the floor-to-ceiling windows bathed most of the space in afternoon light, but instead of a door to a bathroom, there was a small area that seemed meant for reading: a wood frame cha
ir with white cushions, an end table with a few books. It looked almost as inviting as the pristine bed with its natural headboard. By far, this room was more lived in than all the others; framed black and white photos of waves hung on the wall above the bed. There wasn’t a hint of the disarray Marius had mentioned, and I wondered if he had either exaggerated or made it up altogether.
Without thinking, I took a deliberate step backwards, bending my knees and sitting with my hands resting on my thighs, palms facing upward as I stared at the hardwood floor beneath me. It was less than a second before Marius realized what I was doing, fingers under my chin.
“You don’t have to do that, cherie,” he whispered, offering a hand I refused to take.
I watched him with pleading eyes, on the verge of tears set to spill the moment he made me stand. Slowly, I managed to shake my head. “Please…I…”
There wasn’t a way to finish the sentence, and Marius didn’t force it out of me. His jaw flexed, and I could tell he was biting the inside of his lip.
“All right,” he said under his breath, cupping my cheek.
How many times had he comforted Elliot in a similar manner? I loved Marius for his tenderness, but that wasn’t what I wanted right now. When he next spoke, Marius became the man I’d glimpsed at the cabin the first time my Owner had been away.
“If you’d like to kneel for me,” he said, turning the chair so there was more room under the desk, “you must know how I prefer it.”
An uninvited, but not unpleasant heat flooded my face while I watched him intently as he gestured for me to crawl the short distance until I was beneath the desk.
“I like you in front of me,” he explained once I was more or less in position, unable to crouch low enough without hitting my head.
Tugging on my hands, Marius brought me forward until my palms rested against his thighs.
“And if you remember,” he said, tucking hair behind my ear, “I told you to make yourself comfortable.”
His hand slipped behind my head, gathering each wave and curl and using them as a lead. Head in his lap, Marius stroked my scalp until my upper body relaxed into him.
