by Dana Burkey
“Well, it paid off for sure,” I nodded. “I bet you make a good team.”
“I hope so,” she said with a suddenly nervous look. “I’m not very good at batting, so I’m hoping my pitching will make up for it.”
“I bet it will,” I quickly assured her. We were walking together as we chatted, heading outside to where parents and cars were waiting. I spotted my dad easily. “See you tomorrow?”
“Yup, see you then,” Cate said with a wave.
Climbing into my dad's car I was immediately grilled on how the clinic had gone. My dad must have been getting used to watching at TNT Force, so not knowing how things went was a little stressful for him. I assured him everything went great, leaving out the fact that no one but Cate seemed all that interested in getting to know me. I’m not sure why I didn’t tell him about Zoe or the other girls, but in that moment it felt like it would make the idea of missing cheer practice the next night unnecessary. Besides, I was at the clinic to showcase my catching, not to make friends. I could focus on that once I was actually placed on a team in a few more weeks.
Less than 24 hours later, I was back at the middle school gymnasium, and once again catching for Cate. I noticed a lot fewer girls were in attendance for the second night, including Zoe who likely realized she wasn’t as good at pitching as she thought before coming to the clinic. The girls that were there, however, still showed no interest in getting to know me. Thankfully Cate was nice enough to make up for it. I was getting used to her throwing and even tried to give her encouragements as I threw the ball back her way. She would also thank me for catching a wild pitch if she threw one, or apologize if she threw one I didn’t manage to get ahold of. They were few and far between, so we got a lot of pitching in before the night was over. It also looked like the coaches were taking note of her, and hopefully me. When they stood at our lane near Cate, they didn’t give her much advice. Instead they pretty much just watched her pitching with a smile on their face.
“I really hope we make the same team,” Cate told me at the end of the clinic on Thursday. We were taking off our numbers and leaving them at the table for the next pitching clinic as well as the softball tryouts that were in a few weeks.
“That would be awesome,” I agreed honestly. “Hopefully it’s on a really good team too. I took this year off of basketball so I’m really hoping getting on the right team for softball will make up for it.”
“Why did you take basketball off?”
As soon as the question was out of Cate’s mouth I knew I shouldn’t have said anything. It was like I was suddenly afraid to let her know I did cheerleading. Not because it wasn’t something I enjoyed, but because she looked like someone who felt about cheerleading how I did before I joined the gym. Almost exactly in fact. She had on loose gray shorts and a t-shirt for a BBQ restaurant across town. Her dirty blonde hair was in a super messy bun, and I got the feeling she never wore makeup or glitter. So, for a second I worried what she might think if she knew about my time at the TNT Force form. But, worried or not, in that moment I knew I had to tell the truth. Cate was the only person who was nice enough to even talk to me, so lying to her about something that filled so much of my life didn’t seem very friendly.
“I’m on an all star cheerleading team,” I explained quickly. “I would have had to miss a lot of competitions to do basketball, and since I’m not getting any taller I thought maybe skipping a season would be a good idea.”
“Cheerleading? Like, for your school?” Cate asked, her eyes narrowing slightly.
“Not really,” I said with a shake of my head. “It’s an all star team. We compete at big arenas most weekends, and my team is actually a really high ranked team in the country. There are people on the team who travel an hour one way just to be a part of the gym.”
“Oh, cool,” she said, although I noticed she wasn’t really looking at me much anymore. It was weird, but it was as if the mention of cheerleading had her instantly less interested in chatting with me.
“Well, see you at the next clinic,” I said, hoping to catch her eye, but she ignored me to check her phone.
In response Cate just nodded, leaving me to walk to the car by myself. I walked slowly, trying to make sure I understood what had just happened. Did Cate really just brush me off once she found out I did cheer? I was hoping it was just my imagination, or me making a big deal out of nothing. Putting on a smile when I climbed into my dad’s car, I pulled out my phone and was shocked to see I had over a dozen missed messages. It was just what I needed to take my mind off of the strange interaction with Cate.
My thumbs were sore from texting before I could convince all of my friends to calm down. I had to assure them over and over again that I was just at the softball clinic for the evening and that I was coming back to the gym Friday for my skills class and again Saturday for the open gym time. They went on and on asking me if I was leaving the gym for good, if I didn’t tell them because I was upset at them, and then to let me know if I needed someone to talk to about anything, they were there for me. Okay, that last one was only from Lexi and Halley, but I had the feeling it was generally implied all around. I assured everyone I was only missing the one practice, that I would be back in the gym soon, and that everything was okay.
The only problem was that everything was not okay. The way Cate brushed me off had me confused, to say the least. Would anyone else at softball have a problem with the fact I was also a cheerleader? Would being a part of the TNT Force gym keep me from getting on a good team, or even making friends at softball? The stress of worrying and overthinking all of it made me less and less excited for Summit. I knew I was going to have to learn new parts of the Blast routine that I missed at Thursday's night practice, and on top of that, I knew that after the busy weekend at the gym, it was sure to be another week of long practices as well. Walking into the cheer gym, unlike when I entered the gymnasium for the pitching clinic, I was thankfully welcomed with open arms. Literally. As I entered the TNT Force building for my skills class on Friday night, Connor was waiting for me at the door and pulled me into a massive hug. It was like until I actually arrived at the gym, people were at kind of worried I was really gone for good after missing the one night.
“I’m glad you’re here,” he said to me. He had heard about me missing practice from Lexi when she texted him and Gwen to see if they knew where I was. Apparently, I learned as the texts came in, Nicole didn’t tell the team I was out for a softball clinic. It caused quite a bit of unnecessary panic, but hopefully, that was more or less behind us.
“I’m glad I’m here too,” I said as I stepped back from the hug. “Did you think I wasn’t going to be here?”
“No,” he finally replied. “I just don’t think I say it enough and wanted to make sure I let you know.”
Before I could say anything in reply, Gwen came over and gave me the most awkward hug she could think of. She stood next to me and wrapped her arms around my body at my shoulders, squeezing me way too tight while she smashed her face into my hair and pretended to cry. I was struggling to get away while I laughed at her antics at the same time.
“Enough of that,” Michael said with a laugh. “Sorry if my sister was on a rampage last night Max.”
“Lexi?” I asked although I knew it was his only sister. “She was just making sure I didn’t do something crazy without telling her.”
“You mean Lexi was overreacting?” Connor asked with a pretend shocked look on his face. “Never!”
“Hey, you messaged me last night too,” I reminded him, giving his arm a push for emphasis.
We joked around for a little while longer. Then it was time to get to work. Greg was there to help us work on tumbling a little bit, but the main focus of the evening was to pick up where we left off the last time we were all together. This meant that I was held up by everyone one at a time, so they could work on their grips while I was in the air doing various flying poses. As always, I felt weird to only have two hands holding me up, but
I was getting more used to it. It was also hard since each person that was stunting under me did things just a little different. Gwen and Connor, who were the newest ones to stunting like that, were having a hard time. To give them a break, after a lot of failed attempts, we eventually moved on to some other stunts as well.
“We’re going to work on an inversion double up,” Tonya explained after we did some basic cupie and liberty poses. “This is a two-man stunt, so let’s start with Reid and Michael.”
“Thanks,” Gwen said, pretending to be offended.
“You’re next,” Tonya replied, going to stand between Reid and Michael.
The great thing about working with Tonya was that she could not only teach flying, she could also still fly. So, she went over how the guys would need to hold her, explained to me where to put my hands and how to hold my body position, but then she actually did the whole stunt. Tonya began to do a handstand, but before she could get all the way vertical, Reid and Michael grabbed onto her where she had shown them. They held her torso and legs so they would be ready for the next portion of the stunt. Tonya counted out loud, then pushed off the ground with her hands as the boys lifted her up until she was standing above their heads with her feet supported under her. They spun her around twice on the way to getting her vertical, making it a difficult level 5 stunt. But of course, she managed to make it look effortless as usual.
As the boys brought her back down to the ground I could see they were unaffected by flying Tonya instead of myself. The was likely because Tonya was only a few inches taller than me, and skinny despite her muscles. She had short cropped wavy brown hair, light hazel eyes, and always had on enough makeup to look put together but not overdone. Basically, she still looked like a cheerleader, just a little bit more grown up. And really, that was the perfect way to describe all three of the owners of TNT Force. After a month or two at the gym, I learned from Halley that the three of them were on a college cheer team and after they graduated decided they wanted to open their own gym. So, they created TNT Force, using the first letter of their names for inspiration. That was 6 years ago, and based on the move Tonya had just done, it was clear that cheerleading was still her passion.
“You ready to try it?” Tonya asked once she was safely on the ground.
“I think so,” I said and went to work.
It was a little harder than how it looked when Tonya did the skill, mostly because it was a move that Michael, Reid, and Tonya had done a few times before, even if it wasn’t all together. After all, Michael was on Nitro, and Reid was a member of Detonators, both senior level 5 teams. I sometimes got the feeling they were there mostly to help out when new moves were harder to learn for Connor and Gwen, but I knew it also helped them get in extra practice on their stunting. We tried the new skill a few times with only one twist on my way up, but added the second one in soon enough. Once we got the stunt looking more or less how it should, Gwen and Connor had their chance to try it. Connor was on Nitro, and it was only his first year on the level 5 team. Gwen, on the other hand, had been on Bomb Squad for two years but was still learning the harder base work. So, with them under me, I fell a few times before I got up with only one twist. Before I knew it though, they had me in the air as well.
“So now are you ready to try it with a tick tock heel stretch?” Tonya asked after both pairs worked on the skill a little more.
“Let’s do it!” I announced quickly. Although everyone was tired, I was the only one who had slammed onto the mats a few times. So, if I was good to be picked up and tossed, I knew everyone else was likely ready to go again as well.
First with Reid and Matthew, and then again with Connor and Gwen, I was lifted into the air from the handstand position and then spun around two times before they held me upright. But then, as soon as I was more or less stable I held one foot up next to my head. Then, in one swift movement, I traded the foot that was in the air with the foot that was being held up, so it was now my left foot I was holding up instead of the right. The move was difficult even without the spins leading into it, so I naturally came out of the air a few more times before we landed it with each group. Then we called it a night with the flying. Everyone else spent a little time tumbling, but my body was not feeling great after the number of times I landed on the mats or the people below me, so I allowed myself a bit of a break.
“I think I’m going to have a bruise from that last one,” I idly complained as I sat stretching my right arm after we were done with the practice. Reid and Matthew were still working on a tumbling pass, but Gwen sat with me on the side of the blue mat where we had been practicing. Across the gym, Fuze, the purple team, were warming up for their nightly practice.
“Do you need some ice for that?” Gwen asked, looking at the purple and red mark that was blooming on the inside of my upper arm.
“I think I have some Icy Hot in my cheer bag,” I said with a shrug. “I’m not too worried about it though. At least if it’s still there by Summit my uniform will cover it.”
“Spoken like a true cheerleader,” Gwen laughed.
“Well, if the bruises fit,” I laughed as well, holding up my right arm for emphasis.
Gwen and I sat chatting for a few more minutes, but when my dad came out of the viewing room and made a big show of looking at his watch, it was clear I needed to take off. He was eager to get home since he was recording something on The Discovery channel, so I said a quick goodbye and followed him out the door. It wasn’t until I was in the car that I even thought again about how things had gone at the pitching clinic. I remembered the girls not really getting to know me at softball, and it made me think about when I first joined the TNT Force gym. It dawned on me in that moment that maybe I was the one not giving them a chance. I made a mental note to try to be more outgoing when I was at the next clinic in just over a week. But, before then, I had a lot to worry about. Well, really just the open gym, but as I sat stretching, it felt like a lot. My muscles were sore enough that the thought of practice made me even more exhausted. But I knew my friends would be excited to see me and teach me the new changes to the Blast routine for Summit. That helped to level out my overall mood. At least a little.
Walking into the TNT Force gym on Saturday morning, I was struck with a sense of déjà vu. It had been an open gym session that I attended in August where I first met the coaches and learned about what joining the cheer gym would be like. Back then I was certain I was never going to do cheerleading or act like the girls I saw that day wearing shiny bows and smiling bigger than cartoon characters. But, things had changed a lot in just a few months. Sure, I didn’t wear a lot of the shiny and glittery clothing when I wasn’t in uniform. But, unlike that first day, I no longer walked into the gym and felt out of place. Instead, I was instantly mobbed by my friends; I’m sure they were still a little worried they might never see me at the cheerleading gym ever again.
“We have to teach you so many things from practice,” Halley said to me while Lexi was going on and on about the new place I would be standing on the mat before my stunts.
“You don’t go left anymore, since that’s where Kenzie is,” Lexi said, oblivious to Halley talking to me at the same time.
“Slow down,” I laughed, finally getting them both to stop talking. “How about you guys talk me through it on the mat and then we can start trying stuff if we want.”
With a nod, both girls led me over to the open mat where only a few people were working on tumbling. As long as we kept an eye on them it was easy enough to stay out of the way and avoid any collisions. The two girls, along with Anna, Olivia, and Skyler from my stunt team walked me through the changes and then let me try everything once or twice. It was easy enough to learn, and when we were done I was pretty certain I would be able to learn it all fast enough. This was mostly because a lot of the moves were ones we had in before we watered down the routine. I knew adding them back in would help, but in the back of my head I had a feeling making it to the final at Summit, let alone winnin
g, was not going to be as easy as we thought back when we got the Summit bid at the start of the season.
“Do you want to try it all again?” Halley asked after we sat for a few minutes to rest after running everything a few times.
“Yeah, I just need some water,” I explained, standing up and walking towards where my cheer bag was waiting.
As I looked across the room I saw a lot of now familiar faces working on various skills on the blue mats. Spotting Connor I gave him a wave then grabbed my water. But, before I could even take a sip I heard someone calling out my name. Glancing to where it was coming from, I saw that Nicole was heading my way.
“Great job on the changes,” Nicole said, nodding to the mat where my friends were waiting for me. “Do you have a minute to chat in the office?”
“Thanks, and yeah I can chat,” I replied, already nervous for some reason.
I glanced back and held up one finger to my friends to let them know I would be back in a minute, then followed after Nicole. She walked us to the offices near the gym entrance. When I entered Nicole’s small office I was confused to see my dad sitting on the couch instead of in the viewing room with the other parents. But when he patted the seat next to him I instantly walked over and sat down. Turning back to Nicole I saw she was smiling but also had a very serious look on her face. It did little to ease my growing nerves.
“How did the softball clinic go?” Nicole asked, sitting in an armchair that was more or less across from where I was sitting with my dad.
“Good,” I said evenly. “I have another clinic next weekend, so it will be another chance for some coaches to see me in action.” I didn’t even mention the clinic that would happen while I was in Florida for Summit, knowing it was something I could never miss.
“Well that’s great,” Nicole nodded. “I think softball will be a great way to get some extra conditioning in over the summer.”
