by Dana Burkey
I didn’t know what to say to Nicole, so I just smiled weakly. I had a feeling she didn’t ask me to come sit in the office with my dad just to talk about softball. But, at that moment, I had no idea what the real reason could be. Being patient right now was not easy.
“I’ve been thinking since our chat at Blast practice Tuesday night that it would be great for you to have a chance to really push yourself as an athlete here at the gym,” Nicole began, finally getting around to the point. “The skills class is great, but it’s different when you're actually performing. I talked to some of the other coaches, and we were brainstorming some ideas, but we weren't really sure what could possibly be done so late in the season. Well, until last night. You left right after your skills class didn’t you?”
“Yeah. I think it was around 6:30.”
“That’s what I thought,” Nicole paused for a second. “I don’t suppose anyone told you about Cassidy then.”
“No,” I replied, although as I said it I realized it sounded more like a question.
“She fell yesterday,” Nicole frowned. Her tone was sincere as she described what happened, and I knew it must have been hard as a coach to watch someone get hurt. “We were running Fuze’s routine towards the end of practice and Cassidy was doing her elite flying section like always. She always hits it in practice and had never even bobbled it at competition. But last night something went wrong and she fell out of the stunt. Her stunt team tried to catch her, but the way she was falling was odd. She pretty much fell sideways over the top of her side base and right onto the ground. The impact broke her collarbone.”
My mouth was actually hanging open in shock at Nicole’s story. Sprained ankles and even wrists were common enough in the gym, and I saw a lot of athletes wear braces or wrap their injuries while performing. But to hear that someone not only broke a bone but broke it while falling out of the air was as shocking as it was scary.
“Will she be okay?” I asked, trying to imagine the pain of both landing on the ground and also breaking a bone. I had fallen a good number of times, but other than bruises I always walked away fine.
“Her doctor doesn't think she will need surgery. But she will be in a sling for the next few weeks, and then can only start basic exercises through most of the summer. Not to mention the injury is proving to be super painful and has her basically immobile until the swelling can go down and everything can start to heal.” The serious look was back on Nicole’s face as she continued. “Since Fuze got a bid to Summit we need to either fill her spot or run the routine with one less flyer. And after talking it through with some of the girls last night, and then the other coaches in the gym, we had another idea. We want to ask you to fill her spot in the routine.”
“You want me to quit Blast to cheer on Fuze?” I asked, not sure I could believe what I was hearing.
“No, not quit,” Nicole quickly corrected me. “Since Blast is a junior level 3, you can crossover to a senior level 4 at Summit and compete on both teams. It would mean learning a new routine rather fast, but we all agreed that you are the best person to fill in the spot on such short notice. You have so much talent and potential, and this is a great way to showcase it best.”
I turned and looked at my dad then, my head filled with too many thoughts for my mouth to really understand how to reply. He had a smile on his face and didn’t look all that shocked. Clearly, Nicole had already talked to him about everything, likely when he first dropped me off at the gym in the morning for the start of the open gym. Or possibly even on the phone last night. I had learned a long time ago that my dad was just as invested in my life at the gym as any of the cheer moms that spend their evenings in the parent viewing room.
“It’s going to be a lot of work,” Nicole continued. “You would only have two weeks to learn the routine and get used to performing with a new stunt group. But, we were hoping it would help everyone out. The team could still perform at their highest potential at Summit, and you can experience what performing on a senior team would be like. Next season we want you to be able to move up to a senior team, so this would be a great chance for you to give it a little test run.”
“But I would still be on Blast with all of my friends and get to compete with them?” I asked. It was funny that I hadn't been looking forward to Summit all that much in the last week, but suddenly the idea of not getting to perform with my friends and team was a deal breaker.
“Absolutely,” she reassured me. “Fuze practices in the later time slot on Tuesday and then again on Friday so you can still go to all of the normal Blast practice like usual. The only thing you might have to miss is your skills class. Greg and Tonya already said they can either move it or just skip the next few weeks so you can focus on everything else. Learning the new routine is going to take some time, and we don’t have much of it to spare right now.”
“What if I can’t learn it all in time?” I finally asked, remembering back to my dance performance during cheer camp in August. For the exercise, I was placed in a group of other fliers from the gym and we were given the task of making up a dance to perform for the whole gym. I was the weak link on the team and the other girls were less than thrilled about it. Leanna, who I had only met once before the dance challenge, seemed to dislike me even more ever since I froze during the routine onstage.
“If you can’t learn certain things we will simplify it,” Nicole began with a smile. “We can put you in the back for the dance, and you can fake the harder skills so we still get most of the points for it. It’s a lot of the same skills you are already doing on Blast, just with a little bit more flying and some harder tumbling. You still won’t get to throw fulls, but you will get to do whips instead of just back tucks.”
“Okay,” I said quietly after a pause that seemed to stretch on forever.
“Okay?” Nicole asked in reply.
“Yeah,” I nodded. “I’ll give it a try.”
And with that, my dad gave me a pat on the shoulder, Nicole gave me a hug, and I went back into the gym to tell my friends the news. I did everything while in a quiet shock, not sure if I was making the right decision at all. Just days before I wasn’t sure if I was going to keep cheering after the season was over, and I certainly wasn’t looking forward to how sub-par performing at Summit was looking to be with Blast. But then all of a sudden, there I was, on not just one but two teams heading to the last and most important competition of the year. I thought about pinching myself to see if it was all real, but had too much to catch up on to take a break or do anything other than cheer!
Sunday night I sat in my room, doing the unthinkable. I was practicing my cheer hair and makeup while carrying on a snapchat conversation with Lexi and Halley. It was strange, to say the least, but things like that were becoming more and more common for me. What wasn’t so common was that instead of the bright red glitter, I was layering a bold purple glitter coat on top of the silver shimmery eyeshadow I was wearing. Before I left the gym Nicole gave me a new makeup bag, letting me know I would get more Fuze team gear later. I wondered if one day I would buy my own makeup like the other girls on my team. Based on the aisles of choices I saw in the stores I was glad that the gym offered kits in the team store that covered all the basics specific to each team color and skin tone.
“PERFECT!” Lexi wrote in a snapchat she sent me where she was holding her thumb up in support. I got a similar message from Halley, only hers was taken with her dog in the photo as if Truffles was also happy with my makeup. I thought about trying to take my own photo with Thunder and Storm, but the kittens were curled up asleep on the end of my bed so I left them alone.
“How am I going to switch?” I sent my friends, complete with a photo of me holding the red and purple glitter up for the camera. It was one of the many things that was causing me stress since accepting Nicole’s offer to join a second squad.
After telling Nicole I was going to join Fuze for Summit, I let my friends know the news right away. They were all happy for me, jumping
around and screaming so much that Connor came over to make sure no one had died. When I told him the good news he was so happy for me he practically broke me in half with a massive hug. Their excitement had me feeling better about the decision right away. But, the excitement started to fade as I began to think through the reality of what being on two squads was going to mean.
First of all, I was going to be spending even more time at the gym. This was a small thing, but something that came to mind all the same. The second thing that I realized was that I was going to have to compete up to 5 times at Summit. Since Blast only got a partial bid, we were going to be performing on Friday to see if we made it to the next round. If we did that, then I would have to perform once with each team on Saturday, and then possibly another two times on Sunday if both squads made it to the final. That stress was only intensified when I realized I would need to change my uniform, bow, and makeup between the routines as well.
“BOO!” a voice said from my doorway, making me jump a little. Looking up I was happy to see it was only Peter.
“You scared me,” I told him with a laugh as he sat down on my bed and pulled Storm into his lap. Storm looked around for a second, let out a big yawn, then went right back to sleep complete with an extra loud purr.
“You sure are wearing a lot of makeup for someone just hanging out at home,” Peter pointed out while gently petting the kitten in his lap.
“I’m trying to practice taking off the purple and putting on the red and then back again,” I explained, pointing to the small containers of glitter sitting on my bed. There were also flakes of the glitter all over my blankets, but I was more or less used to that after the month of wearing glittery uniforms and practice wear. Despite being attached to the fabric, glitter had a way of staying on any surface for weeks on end!
“Why?” he asked, his eyes squinting in confusion and likely judgment.
“I’m on another cheer squad,” I said simply. I shrugged then began to pack up all of my makeup that was lying out in front of me. “Nicole asked me to join a level 4 team for Summit, so I have to get used to performing on two teams and everything that goes with it. Hopefully, she will let me just wear one glitter color all day or something because this is going to be super hard to take off and put back on so quickly.”
“Hold on,” Peter stopped me. “What do you mean you’re on another squad?”
“I’m on two teams now,” I explained. “The same team I’ve been on, and then the purple team. Someone got hurt so I’m filling her spot so the teams still have a shot at the finals for Summit.”
“And you’re okay with that?” he asked. “Weren't you thinking about being done with cheer for good just yesterday morning?”
Until he said those words I had almost forgotten about our lunch conversation the day before. After we went swimming all morning with Kyle, the three of us sat on my deck eating lunch before I headed to the gym. Kyle was distracted making his dinosaur chicken nuggets attack one another, but Peter was asking me how the pitching clinic had gone. When I told him how great it was and the fact that I was thinking I had a shot at a good team after catching for two people at the clinic, Peter was confused. Until I actually went through with the clinic he assumed that I was going to skip the softball season just like I had skipped basketball. Not able to hide anything from my best friend, I admitted to him then that I wasn’t sure if I was going to be heading back to cheerleading for another season. This was mostly since the idea of not being on a team with my friends, or at least not on a winning team with my friends, was less than appealing.
Little did I know I was going to go to the gym that same day and get asked to join a second team where I could learn harder skills and also possibly make even more friends. Instead, I talked with Peter honestly and openly that day about my frustrations at being on a team that wasn’t going to win. Not to mention the fact that I wasn’t loving that no one else on my team seemed ready to put in the work to really get better at skills. Peter listened to everything, allowed me to vent at times, and then when I was all done he basically told me that he would feel the same way if he was in my shoes. So, as he sat there on my bed looking at me with confusion after hearing I was suddenly on not just one but two cheerleading squads, I felt like I should have told him sooner.
“I wanted to quit,” I told him, busying myself with reaching past him to pick up Thunder and setting him on my lap. Petting his soft fur was a nice bit of added comfort as I explained the rather stressful situation I found myself facing. “I kind of figured I was going to just end out the season, then not show up at the tryouts and move on. But when Nicole was talking to me about joining the new team she was telling me that the reason they wanted me to do it was because they want me to be on a senior team next year. They want me to finally be on a team that is more my skill level.”
“But why aren’t you on one of those teams now? Or why can’t people on your team actually try?”
“I don’t know,” I said finally looking at him. “Maybe they’re trying hard and just not getting it still? I mean, I was trying really hard in my skills class Friday and still ended up with this stupid bruise. It’s starting to look pretty nasty.”
I pulled up the sleeve of my shirt to show off the discolored welt. Peter reached out and rubbed his fingers over the bruise on my right arm, feeling the bump under the skin that was now a much deeper purple and blue than the day before when he had last seen it. His fingers running over my skin gave me a cold chill, goose bumps popping up on my arm instantly.
“Sorry,” he smiled, pulling his hand back quickly.
“I don’t know if I will still try out next year,” I began again. “But for right now I think the new team might help me see my potential a little more. And might help me get a chance to really push my skills. It’s not going to be easy, but I think that’s the real reason I don’t like Blast anymore. I like the girls and the gym and everything, but it’s just so easy that it feels like a waste of my time more often than not.”
“What’s your favorite thing about the gym?” Peter asked me, his question catching me off guard.
“I guess my skills class,” I said after thinking it over for a minute. “I get to learn new things with people who really want to get better.”
“Do the girls on your team want to get better at the things they're not hitting?”
“Yeah, I think so,” I shrugged. “Lexi does really well and hits everything, but I know she has private flying lessons a few times a month. And I guess the other girls on the team are still kind of younger, so maybe they want to do better but they just can’t control their body a whole lot.”
“Cheerleading is confusing,” Peter said with a little bit of a sigh. “But maybe you’re just too good for your own good. You know?”
“No,” I laughed. “I don’t know what you’re saying at all.”
“It’s all really easy for you,” he explained. “It’s just one more thing you’re really good at. I don’t think there is a single sport in the world that you’re not amazing at. But not everyone is like you. Maybe some of the girls are trying as hard as you, but they just can’t do what you’re doing yet.”
I thought about his words for a minute, and I realized it was true. I looked at him for a long minute, just sitting there on my bed petting Storm, who was fast asleep on his lap. The fact that he was able to figure out my struggle at the gym so easily and lay it all out in a way that made perfect sense was a little shocking. But, it was exactly what he had done.
“When did you get so smart?” I asked him, frustrated that I didn’t think about things like that in the first place.
“I blame you,” he joked. “Now that you’re a cheerleader you’re basically a ditzy airhead so I have to do all the thinking to make up for you.”
Although I knew he was kidding, I slowly picked up Thunder and set him on my pillows, then I reached over and took Storm from Peter and did the same. As I set the second sleeping kitten down, it clicked for Peter what I was
about to do. Knowing I was clearly going to hit him, Peter sprang up off my bed and raced out of my room. With a laugh I got up and followed him, glad for a chance to not only get back at him but also put the thoughts of cheerleading out of my mind for a little while.
“That bruise is getting worse,” Lexi commented as we sat drinking water after Tuesday night’s Blast practice. Sadly, my bruise was just one of the things getting worse. The practice was full of bobbled stunts despite the changes Halley and Lexi assured me went great when I wasn’t there Thursday night. Sure, everyone was more or less staying in the air, but they all looked wobbly aside from Lexi and myself.
“I bumped it Sunday wrestling Peter,” I admitted with a laugh. “But it’s okay. I won.”
“You were actually wrestling him?” Lexi asked with the raise of her eyebrow.
“Yeah, he called me an airhead cheerleader so I had to put him in his place,” I said like it was the simplest thing in the world. Lexi, as always when I talked about my interactions with Peter, looked beyond confused.
“Well, are you ready for practice?” Lexi asked, pointing to where some of the girls on Fuze were warming up at the far end of the gym.
“I hope so,” I said with a frown. “I’m already a little tired from all those full outs and now I have to go learn a whole new routine.”
“You’re going to do great,” she assured me. “If you want I can stay and cheer you on the whole time.”
“Thanks, but I don’t know how Nicole would feel about that.” I stood up and walked towards my bag then, knowing it would be a good idea to head over to my new team. “I’ll text you as soon as I leave tonight.”
“Deal,” she said with a sigh before giving me a hug and heading to where Matthew was waiting to drive her home. He gave me a wave that I quickly returned before walking across the gym to where Nicole and the girls in purple were getting ready.
