The Millionaire Course

by Marc Allen

  I show you my cards, and you show me yours; together we work it out so we both win the game. It’s much more fun when everyone is a winner, and no one is a loser.

  This is a great key to success.

  8

  DON’T THINK TOO SMALL

  Don’t let doubts, fears, and “small thinking” undermine your goal. If you think small, whatever you create will remain small.

  Your business — in whatever form it takes — reflects your mind. Your business is the sum of all the thoughts you’ve had about it. It reflects your dominant visualization. Think expansively. Start with your ideal scene — what do you want ideally?

  The great key Deepak Chopra gave us in Creating Affluence is worth repeating:

  Within every desire

  is the seed and mechanics for its fulfillment.

  — Deepak Chopra, Creating Affluence

  This is a key to success, worth remembering.

  9

  LEARN HOW TO SETTLE ARGUMENTS

  In crisis, arguments flare. At the core of every argument is always the fact that someone feels they’re not being heard by the other. Arguments are fueled by constant interruptions. Everyone is trying so hard to make their point that they’re not listening to anyone else. When we work together in partnership, arguments can always be resolved, because everyone is given attention and respect. If you’re working with someone as their partner, you always listen to what they say and take it into consideration. Everyone has their say.

  The key to resolving arguments is learning to listen without interrupting.

  Over the years we developed a simple technique for settling arguments. It works. Within it is a great key to effective, satisfying personal and business relationships:

  There’s no need for argument —

  in fact it’s not an effective form of communication at all.

  There is a much better alternative: listening,

  and working in partnership.

  THE ARGUMENT-SETTLING TECHNIQUE

  If you find yourself in an argument, go through these steps:

  1. STOP ARGUING AND LISTEN TO THE OTHER PERSON.

  Once you start arguing, you’re getting nowhere. Nothing has ever been resolved in the heat of an argument. Both of you are trying so hard to be heard that neither one is open to hearing what the other is trying to say. So just stop, and let the other person have their say; let them completely express themselves without interrupting them, and without denying what they’re saying, defending yourself, or putting yourself or the other person down in any way.

  Just listen to what they’re saying, take it in, and accept it as being exactly what they need to say at that moment. This is difficult to do at first, but it’s a great skill to master, for it effectively resolves arguments and also empowers you in the process.

  When you stop arguing and just listen quietly to the other person, what they have to say — even in the most heated arguments — very rarely takes more than two or three minutes. Give them a few minutes of your time, without interrupting.

  2. NOW IT’S YOUR TURN TO EXPRESS YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEEINGS, AS COMPLETELY AS POSSIBLE.

  You’ve listened to them, now ask them to listen to you, without interrupting. You’ll give them another chance to speak their peace, but now you want to speak yours. Again it rarely takes more than two or three minutes.

  3. LISTEN TO THEIR RESPONSE, WITHOUT INTERRUPTING.

  You’ll have more chances to respond; for now, just listen. This steps rarely takes more than a minute or two.

  4. RESPOND.

  These last two steps may be repeated as many times as necessary — let the other person speak, then you speak, without being interrupted. It’s rarely necessary to repeat these steps more than two or three times. You’ll know when you’re ready to move on to the next step.

  5. ASK WHAT THE OTHER PERSON WANTS FROM YOU.

  Listen without interrupting. Every argument is based on the fact that the people involved aren’t getting what they want.

  6. TELL THE OTHER PERSON EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT FROM HIM OR HER.

  Be as honest and direct as possible. Make it as clear as possible. Now you’re ready for the final step.

  7. NEGOTIATE AND MAKE CLEAR AGREEMENTS.

  Compromise may be necessary for one or both of you, but keep negotiating until you reach an agreement you’re both satisfied with — a win-win agreement. You might have to do some creative brainstorming here, go through a few What Ifs, but there is some creative solution that works for both of you. You will find it if you keep talking without interrupting each other.

  The argument-settling technique is simple to explain, but not easy to do. When I first did this process, I had to struggle not to interrupt, and I even used a notebook and made quick notes of what was said, so I could remember to respond to every point. After going through the process a few times, I realized there was no need at all to respond to everything, and notes were completely unnecessary. Just respond to whatever comes to mind when it’s your turn to talk.

  It’s all right to take notes, if you want, as long as you keep listening and don’t interrupt — and don’t deny what the other person is saying, or defend yourself, or put yourself or the other person down in any way, not even through unspoken body language.

  THE SIMPLIFIED ARGUMENT-SETTLING TECHNIQUE

  There is a simple way to use this technique:

  If you’re involved in the argument, just stop interrupting, and listen to the other person. When they’re through, ask them not to interrupt you, just as you didn’t interrupt them, and speak your peace.

  If two other people are involved in the argument, you can step in and referee, insisting on just one rule: They talk to each other without interrupting each other. You may have to remind them at some point not to interrupt. It works every time: You simply cannot have an argument if you sit and listen to each other.

  When you discover how to listen to someone, to anyone, without responding immediately, especially without rushing to deny or defend, you become a changed person.

  If you do this exercise, I promise you’ll discover something amazingly powerful — and those words aren’t too strong to describe the effects of this simple process.

  10

  AVOID LAWSUITS

  Most lawsuits add to the load of problems rather than creating effective solutions. They are a foolish waste of time and money, and they are unnecessary when we work in partnership and learn how to settle arguments. Our system of litigation is to be avoided at all costs, because it’s a dominator-based system. It is a fight; it is war. War needs to be resolved through mediation, which involves finding creative compromises that work for all parties involved.

  If you ever have a conflict you can’t resolve on your own, find a good mediator and work it out. Mediation is partnership based.

  Our contracts have a clause that says any and all conflicts will be resolved between the parties in a spirit of respect and cooperation, with a willingness to compromise; if we can’t work it out, we will go to a mediator. If that fails, we agree to go to legally binding arbitration, and resolve it there.

  In over twenty-five years of business, I’ve never had to go to arbitration. I’ve gone to small claims court one time, when our business was in its infancy, as a very last resort in collecting from someone who owed us. It involved no lawyers and was a good experience: a simple process that took little time or expense. I’ve never been involved in any other litigation.

  I have used a mediator on one occasion, and it was a very positive experience for all concerned, a wonderful example of the partnership model: We found a way to get what both of us wanted and yet fully support the other person in getting what they wanted. We came up with a creative solution that was definitely a win-win for all involved.

  The partnership model leads to harmony rather than conflict, and the process of mediation resulted in harmony and good feelings — and we continue to this day to work together creatively and enjoyably.

/>   11

  UNDERSTAND AND MASTER TIME

  Most of us have heard the old adage that our work expands to fill the time we allot to it. Most of us have seen it happen in our professional lives. We make an assumption about how much time we need to devote to our career, and before we know it our assumption has come true. We rarely stop to ask if perhaps, like many of our core beliefs, that assumption has become a self-fulfilling prophesy. If you believe you need to work sixty to eighty hours a week to survive, you’ll end up doing it.

  To me, that’s inhumane. I give my company between thirty and forty hours a week of focused attention, and that’s enough. My work shrinks to fill the time I give to it. When we understand this principle, we can master time.

  We can express this key by paraphrasing James Allen’s great poem in As You Think:

  The human will — that force unseen,

  the offspring of a deathless soul —

  is able to master time, and even conquer space, chance,

  environment, and circumstances.

  Understanding time, and even mastering time, is not an impossible task. It involves looking at our beliefs about time and being willing to change some of those old beliefs. There are many people who have a very different experience of time in their lives, including most of the indigenous people on this earth.

  Why do people in so many other cultures have so much time to hang out and enjoy life? If they can do it, why can’t you? I have a lot of free time by myself to do whatever I want in the moment — usually more time than I spend at work, in fact — and if I can do it, why can’t you?

  There’s an eye-opening book called Simply Living: The Spirit of the Indigenous Peoples, edited by Shirley Ann Jones. In it, a woman says she finds it very strange that her daughter, who has moved to the city, has washing machines and all these other labor-saving devices, yet doesn’t have time to come see her mother and just sit for the afternoon and talk.

  How come the people with the labor-saving devices are running around doing so much work while so many of the people without them have all the time to spend as families and communities?

  The answer to this question is found not in the devices we have, not anywhere, in fact, in the outside world, but rather in our beliefs about time. Different people have different sets of beliefs about time, and so live in a completely different reality.

  It’s odd when you think about it: We all have a large, complex set of beliefs about time, yet we almost never think about those beliefs, and rarely — if ever — examine them consciously. When we do give them some thought, we soon realize that, like all our other beliefs, they are not necessarily true in themselves — but they are self-fulfilling if we believe them to be true.

  By looking at our beliefs (there’s more on specifically how to do this in Lesson 8) we discover we can affect those beliefs, we can change those beliefs — and our reality changes as a result.

  Until I was thirty-five or so, I believed that there wasn’t enough time — or money — in my life. The two were related somehow, and I struggled with both of them. For some reason, God didn’t create enough. Time was always passing me by. There wasn’t enough to time to do what I wanted to do. I kept noticing that things would always take so much more time than I planned on. Time was flying.

  Do any of these beliefs sound familiar?

  Then something shifted in my belief system. I found I could make a conscious choice to change my beliefs to create more time in my life. I’m almost certain that the single most effective thing I did was to keep affirming these words with my goals: in an easy and relaxed manner, in a healthy and positive way, in its own perfect time.

  Now I have all the time I need in life. I rarely have to rush anywhere. I have plenty of free time, all the time for relaxation and rejuvenation that I want and need, all the time I want for my creative work, and plenty of time for friends and family. My entire experience of reality has shifted as my belief that I have enough has become dominant over my earlier belief of scarcity.

  Are you often stressed, running some kind of race with the clock? What are you thinking, what are you telling yourself at the time?

  Do you believe there is a shortage of time? Did the universe somehow not create enough for you?

  Take a good look at your beliefs about time, and take the necessary steps to change them.

  Affirm your goals are being realized

  in an easy and relaxed manner,

  in a healthy and positive way, in their own perfect time.

  These words are true magic:

  They can help you master time and money.

  We are slaves to the clock only as long as we believe we are. We are perfectly capable of mastering time. Within these pages are the keys that show us how. We live in an abundant universe, and that includes an abundance of time, money, and everything else.

  12

  UNDERSTAND AND MASTER MONEY

  Until I turned thirty-five, there certainly wasn’t enough money in my life. I had a mass of confused beliefs about money. Money was hard to come by; money was scarce. Money doesn’t grow on trees. I believed it took hard work, intelligence, talent, and perseverance to make money — things I didn’t believe I had or wanted to do. I believed it took money to make money — and since I didn’t have any money, the cards were stacked against me. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. A fool and his money are soon parted — and I believed, deep down, when I looked at my history with money, I was a fool. It was certainly true in my experience: however much I made I quickly spent. Besides, I even felt that maybe money really is the root of all evil. Money corrupts. It is impossible for a rich person to be a good person.

  Do any of these beliefs sound familiar to you?

  It’s odd when we think about it: We all have a large, complex set of beliefs about money, yet — just as with our beliefs about time — we almost never think about those beliefs. We almost never examine them consciously, and very rarely ask ourselves whether those beliefs are valid or really true.

  Our beliefs about money are self-fulfilling, like all our other beliefs. They are not necessarily true in themselves — our thinking makes them so. Many people think differently, and have very different beliefs about money — doesn’t that prove that our beliefs are not true in themselves, and can change over time? That has certainly been true in my experience.

  What are you thinking, what are you telling yourself about money?

  Do you believe there is a shortage of money? Did the universe somehow not create enough for you? Do you believe you don’t have what it takes to make a substantial amount of money? Do you believe money is hard to get? Do you believe that if you get it, someone else will have to do without it, or in some other way be hurt by it? Do you believe money will corrupt you? Or distract you from the important things in life?

  Take a good look at your beliefs about money, and take the necessary steps to change them. This Course is full of keys that show us how to do this. After I worked with this material for a while, something shifted in my belief system about money and its availability. I came to see and believe that money could be a tremendous force for good in my life, and in the lives of many others.

  I found I could make a conscious decision

  to change my beliefs

  and create more money and more time in my life.

  The choice was up to me.

  I’m almost certain that the single most effective thing I did in this arena was to ask, to pray — whatever you want to call it — for a specific amount of money, one that was an expansive leap for me to even imagine.

  As soon as I ask for an expansive amount of money, I begin to get creative new ideas, and different possibilities come to mind that could very well result in the kind of money I asked for. Different opportunities suddenly appear — and it often feels as though those opportunities had been right in front of me all along, but I just hadn’t seen them before.

  Some of these possibilities lead me to paths I don’t want to t
ake or have no interest in or energy for; some lead to prospects I reject because they don’t feel easy, relaxed, healthy, or positive in some way; but some of the possibilities excite something in me, and take me in new directions that are challenging and fulfilling.

  I have reached the point where I can honestly say I have all the money I need in life. The universe amply provides for me, for I realize that I live in a world that is truly abundant. I have discovered ways to create income streams from a wide variety of sources. I have enough passive income from investments in stock, bonds, and real estate to support me. I have received what I have asked for, no more, no less.

  This is certainly a key:

  You will receive what you ask for,

  no more, no less.

  My entire experience of reality has shifted as newer beliefs gradually replaced my earlier beliefs of scarcity. I don’t work for money any more; I do what I love and there is always plenty of money. This is what I believe, and this is what has come true in my life.

  I’m not writing this book for the money. I’m writing it because I love this project, and have the desire and energy to do it. I’m doing it because I love the whole process of writing and publishing books. If it makes money, that’s great; if it doesn’t make a dime, that’s okay too. The universe provides.

  MONEY MAGIC

  If, after you have been through this Course, you still have problems with money, I’d recommend you read and work with Money Magic by Deborah L. Price. She is an experienced and perceptive financial advisor, and shows us the eight possible “money types” — you can probably identify yourself just by her labels.