Beautifully Torn

by Charity Parkerson

  As hot water trailed down their bodies, Jinx immersed himself in every kiss and touch Hudson gave. The scent of shampoo, body wash, and cum filled his nostrils. He had no idea how long they lingered. Jinx couldn’t move past Hudson’s declaration of love. Hudson felt things deeper than other people. That was why he was always one terrible day away from stepping into traffic. Hudson was one hundred percent an Empath. Jinx believed that to the bottom of his soul. That meant Hudson loving him was something Hudson would do and feel with every fiber of his being. Jinx had never expected to be so blessed.

  Hudson had already worked one orgasm from Jinx. Still, he slowly pumped inside Jinx's ass with no sign of stopping anytime soon. Hudson kept swapping between pulling Jinx back against his chest so he could steal kisses and pushing Jinx away so he could bend him over in the shower. Jinx hadn’t caught his breath yet.

  The shower door opened. Rocky leaned against the frame. “Damn. I came in here to tell you I had our food heated and set up, but fuck. This is hot.”

  Jinx watched Rocky’s erection grow inside his jogging pants. His mouth watered.

  “You should join us,” Hudson cajoled, sounding breathless and aroused.

  Rocky shook his head. “I’ve already showered, and I like to watch.”

  With no real plan, Jinx snagged the waistband of Rocky’s pants and pulled him into the shower, clothes and all. Rocky laughed but didn’t fight him. His laughter turned to moans when Jinx popped the erection from his pants and swallowed it. Jinx closed his eyes. He let the sensations of the moment wash over him. Jinx lost himself while Hudson fucked him, and Rocky’s dick bruised his throat. He was happy. They were happy. Jinx would go as far as to say none of them had felt this level of joy before they found one another. He wanted to spend the rest of his life like this. Jinx would never admit it, but Rocky had hurt him earlier when he said he never wanted to marry. All his life, even when it hadn’t been legal, Jinx had dreamed of having a happy marriage one day. It wasn’t about the wedding. That didn’t matter. He wanted one of those marriages he saw on the news where people were married seventy years and died holding hands. Jinx’s life was already different because the three of them were together. Then Rocky had said he didn’t want to be a husband. It was leveling. That one admission made Jinx question everything about them and their future.

  Then Hudson had rescued him. Jinx had never dreamed Hudson would be the person who wanted to walk down the aisle with him. That new tidbit had Jinx’s mind all over the place. His heart did cartwheels. He saw a future for them. One where they each got what they wanted for themselves. Jinx felt a level of peace and happiness he never had. He needed to make his men fly.

  Hudson’s grip turned bruising on Jinx’s hips. Jinx sucked harder and faster, needing Rocky’s orgasm. When it hit, Jinx found himself squished between his men. Rocky kissed him so deeply that he couldn’t breathe while moaning around Jinx’s tongue. Hudson’s cries reverberated from the shower walls and against Jinx’s shoulder. Time seemed to slow as their touch turned loving. Whispered words caressed Jinx’s ears. He didn’t hear a single one. Jinx’s brain was filled with visions of their future. They spent every night just like this one until they were too old to do anything but hold hands. There was so much love in Jinx’s chest, he thought he would explode. He had found his future. His everything.

  Nothing in his life prepared Rocky to feel so much. The first twenty years of his life, Rocky had been failing at life. He hadn’t been smart enough to keep up in school and had dropped out the moment he could. It was like he always set himself up to fail because he had immediately fallen in with some bad people. He was all about the fast money. The shortest path to everything. Back then, that had meant boosting cars for a quick buck. Then he had discovered Zayn’s car collection. He hadn’t even made it out of the driveway before he found his life turned upside down. Rocky still felt sick when he thought about how close he had been to going to prison. Instead, Zayn had saved him and put him on the road to ending up here.

  Rocky stared at Jinx and Hudson. He wouldn’t have met them if he hadn’t started the first half of his life as a fuck-up. Sometimes, when he stopped to think about it, he was awed by life. So many tiny things had to go right for him to end up here with these men. In all his years on earth, he never dreamed he would end up in love with two men. It was strange, but then again, it wasn’t. He could recall, when he was a child, his mom reading him a story. In the story, one soul had been ripped into two pieces. Those two halves spent every lifetime trying to find their way back to each other. Sometimes, souls would accidentally end up torn again, making it even harder for the pieces to find one another. Even though it had only been a story, Rocky couldn’t help but think that was what happened to Hudson, Jinx, and him. That was how right they felt.

  Standing across from Jinx while Zayn and Spencer exchanged vows had fucked with Rocky’s head a little. He knew he didn’t want to get married. Rocky was thirty-five years old. He knew his mind. Being a husband wasn’t a legal mess he wanted. But he had to admit, if he were to marry anyone, it would be Jinx. Jinx would make a great husband. He was loving and attentive. Jinx was the glue holding the three of them together. He deserved a beautiful wedding like the one they had attended today. Rocky wouldn’t be the one who gave it to him. He wouldn’t make a good husband. As he watched the men he loved sleep, Rocky wondered if he should get out of the way and let them have a normal life.

  Rocky’s chest tightened at only the thought of losing them. He couldn’t do it. Maybe he was selfish, but Jinx and Hudson were his. He finally knew what it was like to be loved unconditionally. Rocky wasn’t strong enough to lose them.

  Jinx shifted in his sleep. Rocky pulled him into his arms, letting Jinx use his chest as a pillow. Jinx immediately settled down. Rocky had known he would. With the warmth of his men seeping into his skin, Rocky’s eyes finally slipped closed. They were perfect just as they were. He had nothing to worry about. It took all three of them to be whole. Life would find a way for everything else.

  Five

  It was a lot harder being on the road, knowing his heart was in L.A. Plus, it was cold as fuck in New York. Hudson had done more late-night interviews than he cared to count. He was tired and wanted to go home. Hudson had burned out so long ago, he didn’t know where to start that conversation. In fact, he might not have found a way to smile through tonight’s interview if the host, Tyler, hadn’t pulled out Hudson’s new photo album for collectors.

  “Everyone is talking about this book that comes with the collector’s edition of your new album.”

  Hudson nodded. “It was a great idea. I wish I had thought of it.”

  Tyler laughed along with the audience. “At least you’re honest.” He flipped open the book. “Everyone is talking about this image right here in particular.” Tyler flashed the open pages Hudson’s way before showing the audience and the camera. It was the picture of Rocky sandwiched between Hudson and Jinx. They looked amazing together. A ball of longing grew in Hudson’s gut.

  “Yep. Those are my guys, Jinx and Rocky.”

  Tyler eyed the image. “Your guys?”

  Hudson nodded. “They’re back in L.A., waiting for me to get home.”

  Tyler’s eyebrows rose. “You mean the three of you are together—like in a relationship?”

  “Yep. That’s what I mean.” Hudson wasn’t embarrassed and he wouldn’t start now.

  Tyler smiled. It looked fake. “I imagine that’s something people might find unusual.”

  Hudson nodded. “I’m sure, but I’m not trying to live for anyone else. Jinx and Rocky make me happy. If anyone doesn’t like that, they can suck my dick. I’m not asking for permission to live my life.”

  The audience laughed.

  Tyler’s smile went through a series of transitions. One second it was fake, then real, and then pained. “Tell us a little about Jinx and Rocky.”

  Hudson didn’t hesitate, even though he realized he should take heed. He hadn’t t
alked to Rocky or Jinx about revealing their lives. “Jinx is sound man for Zealous Blaze and Rocky is head of security for Zayn Tanaka, so they’re both successful men in their own right.”

  “That’s amazing. Let’s talk about the album that comes with this book, Death is an Effortless Obsession. How do Rocky and Jinx feel about the songs included?”

  It was obvious Tyler was just trying to get through the interview at this point. Hudson swallowed down another wave of unhappiness. He just wanted to go home. L.A. felt farther away than ever before. The depression he always barely kept at bay pressed against his brain. It was no one’s fault. Hudson had been born screwed up. Something inside him was barely attached to living. Thankfully, the moment he slid into the backseat of his hired car, Jinx’s name showed up on FaceTime. Hudson couldn’t answer fast enough.

  “Hey, sweet baby.”

  Jinx smiled like he couldn’t be happier to see Hudson’s face. “Hi.”

  Rocky’s face leaned into the picture. “Hey. I made it too.”

  “Damn.” The breathless curse slipped from Hudson. His chest felt like it might cave in. He missed them that much. “I love seeing your faces.”

  “We watched you on the Tyler show.”

  At Jinx’s claim, Hudson’s smile wavered. “Sorry if I embarrassed you.”

  Rocky scowled. “Fuck that. We’re always proud of you.”

  “Plus, we love everyone knowing you belong to us,” Jinx added.

  Hudson relaxed deeper into his seat. He loved staring at his men. “I miss you both so much.”

  “We miss you too.” Rocky sounded genuine.

  Hudson’s chest ached. “Kiss. I want to watch.”

  The pair immediately did as told, making Hudson’s eyes burn. Fuck. They were sexy. A voice interrupted in the background and they pulled apart.

  Rocky cursed under his breath before focusing on Hudson. “I have to go. They caught someone on the property. I have to make the final call on whether the police are called. Love and miss you.”

  “You too.” Hudson watched with his heart in his throat as Rocky stole another quick kiss and disappeared. The moment Hudson was alone with Jinx, Jinx’s gaze moved over Hudson’s features, as if inspecting his health.

  “Why is your hair green again, baby?”

  A lump formed in Hudson’s throat. He tried playing it off. “I thought you liked me in green?”

  “I like you in everything. Now answer my question.”

  “It’s nothing but a hair color, sweet angel. Tell me about your day.”

  Jinx turned sideways on the screen, as if he settled onto his side with the phone. It was obvious he was snuggled up to his pillow. Hudson wanted to be there more than he wanted his next breath. “Well, I got up and took a shower before eating some toast. Around one, missing you got the best of me. So I cried and then took a nap.”

  Hudson’s heart squeezed. “You have no idea how much I wish I was there.”

  Jinx touched the screen, as if he could feel Hudson. “We’re halfway there. You’ll be home before I know it. That’s what I keep telling myself.”

  A ragged-sounding breath escaped Hudson. “I don’t know what I would do if Rocky and you weren’t together. That’s the only thing keeping me sane. I can’t stand the thought of making you two miserable.”

  Jinx sighed. “You don’t make us miserable. We just miss you. We knew this was part of the deal. Right now, I’m worried about you. Tell me how I can fix whatever is going on inside you.”

  “I love you.” Hudson couldn’t stop the words from bursting from him.

  “I love you too.”

  “Make time go faster.”

  Jinx smiled at Hudson’s demand. “I wish I could.” Jinx’s smile slipped away. His voice turned into a harsh whisper, as if he fought a wave of sadness. “New York is so very far away.”

  The car came to a stop and Tito opened the door. Hudson barely spared anyone a glance as he headed inside his hotel. He kept his eyes glued to his phone while Tito kept him safe from fans. The moment the hotel room door closed behind him, Hudson sat down on the floor and leaned his back against the door. “Do me a favor.”

  “Anything.”

  Hudson smiled at Jinx’s immediate agreement. “Snuggle into your usual spot and pull the covers up.”

  Jinx moved to do as told. The phone moved around, giving Hudson flashes of the bedroom. He was in Rocky’s bed. Longing hit Hudson like a ton of bricks.

  Jinx’s face reappeared on the screen. “Okay. Done.”

  “I’m going to tell you a bedtime story.”

  Jinx’s smile made everything worthwhile. Hudson fell into a long, drawn out, and made-up story about a prince who fell in love with two bad boys. He revealed everything about himself in his bad-boy character. Hudson admitted to every mental failing. He droned on with no real point other than to watch Jinx fall asleep. Being away from Rocky and Jinx wasn’t good for Hudson’s already shaky mental health. He needed calming moments like these. Hudson would ramble for as long as it took to settle his heart. Soon enough, he would be home. Then he would never leave again.

  Rocky’s skin itched with irritation. He had to work, but things always went wrong at the worst times. Hudson had been gone for three months. The good and bad days came in waves. Today was a bad day. Jinx and Rocky had each other. They were enough, but they also felt Hudson missing from them all hours of the day. Jinx needed a softness that Rocky didn’t have. Rocky wanted to reach through the miles and yank Hudson through space and time, dragging him back to them. It was hard as hell being powerless. All Rocky could do was watch time march on. He wanted to punch the smug kid’s face who dared choose tonight to sneak onto the property. Rocky wanted to get back to Jinx and Hudson even more.

  “Tonight is your lucky night. I’m feeling generous. We’ll let you go with a warning.”

  The teen boy swept Rocky with a contemptuous gaze. “Wow. Thanks. You’re so generous.”

  Rocky fought the urge to pinch the spot between his eyes where a pain bloomed. He hated kids, especially sarcastic ones. Instead, he tried reasoning with the arrogant shit. “You’re trespassing, which is illegal.”

  An ugly-sounding snort escaped the ungrateful brat. “I’m a minor. Trespassing is a misdemeanor. I’ll be fine.”

  “You’ll be dead if you come back,” Rocky said through clenched teeth. God. He had been just like this asshole once upon a time. Rocky wanted to kick his own ass at the thought.

  “Now that’s illegal,” the blond shithead shot back.

  Rocky shook his head and turned away. He needed to talk to Hudson. He caught the stare of one of the night guards. “Take him to a bus stop and drop him.” He fought the urge to look the kid’s way. “Make sure it’s a stop that’s too far away from here to walk back.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Rocky headed back to the house. He hurried, but still he wasn’t quick enough. It had taken him well over an hour to question the kid. Jinx was asleep. For a moment, Rocky watched him. He was such a peaceful sleeper. Love swelled in Rocky’s chest. Maybe Rocky wasn’t a soft person, but he loved Jinx. A lump grew in his throat. He loved Hudson too, and something wasn’t right with Hudson. Rocky left Jinx behind and moved to an empty room. He pulled out his phone and called Hudson.

  He answered on the second ring. “I wondered when I’d hear from you.”

  Hudson hadn’t bothered with pleasantries. Rocky wouldn’t either. “Why is your hair green again?”

  “You know, Jinx and you fell in love with me with green hair. Now you’re both demanding to know why I would dare go back to that color. I’m starting to wonder if your love is conditional.”

  Rocky rolled his eyes. “Nice dodge. Try again. What’s going on?”

  A long, tired-sounding breath brushed the phone and came across the miles. “I’m just exhausted, sexy. It’s been a long three months and I miss my babies. That’s all. I’m tired.”

  “Then come home. Take a break.”

  Silen
ce met his suggestion and Rocky realized how unrealistic his words had been. There was never enough time from show to show to do anything other than interviews and travel. He imagined Hudson was exhausted. Rocky wanted to help.

  “Are you in bed yet?”

  “Headed there now.” Rocky could hear the smile in Hudson’s voice.

  Rocky sat on the floor of the empty bedroom and leaned against the wall. “Let me know when you’re tucked in.” He listened as things brushed the phone.

  “Okay. I’m in bed.”

  “Good. Close your eyes.” He waited for Hudson to confirm.

  “Eyes closed.”

  A smile tugged at the corners of Rocky’s mouth. “Let me hear you take a deep breath.” He listened as Hudson breathed. Rocky leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. “I’m there with you, rubbing your back. Jinx is already asleep. The room is quiet.”