Grieved Loss: A Dark Mafia Romance (Bellandi Crime Syndicate Book 3)

by Adelaide Forrest

  Fury rolled off of him. He was so angry with me, and I didn't want to know what was coming or how we would survive it. All I knew was I couldn't live in this uncertainty a moment longer.

  Whatever came of it, we had to have the conversation we tried to avoid. He went straight for the bathroom, stripping off his clothes and getting into the shower as I washed my hands.

  When he came out of the shower a few minutes later, he took my arm in his hands and studied the new tattoo he’d forced on me. He grunted, satisfied with the healing, and applied more ointment.

  When he finished, I left the bathroom and went back to the bedroom to change for bed. I eyed my options in the closet, wishing I had more covering sleep options, but sleeping with Ryker in bed with me made things like sweatpants impossible. He was far too warm, like a furnace as he slept next to me.

  When he came up behind me and wrapped his damp arms around my waist, I jolted in place and shrugged off his touch. The bathroom had been relatively safe, but the bedroom was the place I associated with sex. Every part of me felt too on edge to be touched, like electricity coated my skin and I'd explode at the first sign of physical pressure. We both knew that he often used sex to manipulate me. I wanted to avoid that, because I knew it accomplished nothing.

  "I'm no longer allowed to touch my wife. Is that it?" he asked, and his hands gripped my arms as he spun me around to face him.

  "You just startled me," I told him, giving a slight smile. It was bitter, we both knew it.

  He reached out a hand, touching the corner of my mouth where I knew my smile went crooked. With a moment of silence between us, I glanced down at the fresh ink on his chest where he’d put our wedding date inside a sun. Part of me swooned over having such a physical claim over him, but the other half couldn’t stop feeling anxious. The date was so recent, and it seemed like our marriage was crumbling around us. "So it has nothing to do with your visit from Jason?" he asked, and my chest heaved as my breath left me in a solid push.

  "How long have you known?" I asked, staring up at him in horror. That thumb slid down over my chin, and his hand wrapped around the front of my throat as he walked me backwards.

  My spine hit the wall, and I stared up at him in horror. While his hand didn't press enough to hurt, the threat felt obvious, and it made it so I couldn't turn away from the fury blazing in his bright eyes. "You thought I would put cameras in your home but not the studio? I've known since the moment he approached you."

  I opened my mouth, my lip trembling as I stared up at him. "You didn't say anything," I whispered.

  "Neither did you, my Sunshine. You hid it from me. He tried to take you away from me, and yet you said nothing. Why is that?" he asked, his voice quiet. There was no mistaking the menace there, no disguising the fury that riddled his body until it was so tense he vibrated with it.

  "I didn't tell him anything, and I told him I didn't want his help," I justified. I'd known that keeping the information from Ryker was a lie in its own way, but his hand on my throat while he interrogated me in anger told me I'd been right to worry what his reaction might have been.

  "That's it? You told him nothing of value?" he asked, and his eyes dug into mine as if he could compel me to reconsider my words.

  "Nothing that could get you in trouble," I gasped, shifting my head to ease some pressure on my throat when his hand tightened ever so slightly.

  "That's not what I asked, Tesoro," he murmured, leaning down to touch his lips to my temple. He dragged them over my cheek as tears welled in my eyes. I'd felt fear before, thought I'd known what it meant to be afraid when I went to bed alone at night and worried that Chad's killer would want to finish off his family.

  But it was nothing compared to the fear Ryker commanded when he turned into the man I knew he must have been underneath the facade he put on for the kids and I.

  "Do you think it pleases me, knowing you told him you love me, but have never given me those words yourself?" he whispered, and my body froze.

  "I didn't—" I broke off, horrified with myself when I realized that I had. I hadn't thought to ever voice those words, because to speak them gave them a new life. I didn't want to admit that I'd fallen so far that I could be in love with a man who took away my choice. At the core of our relationship, that was who Ryker was.

  Nothing he did would ever change that, no matter how I grew to love him. So, the fact that I'd spoken the words as justification to not testify against Ryker stunned me. I'd confessed my feelings to protect him.

  "You did, Sunshine. You told that stronzo you loved me." I swallowed, fighting back the tears that fell. The horror that Ryker knew the truth of my feelings, because I knew he wouldn't hesitate to use them against me. "If he comes near you again, I'll fucking tear him apart piece by piece," Ryker growled.

  "Ryker!" I gasped, protesting when he gripped my shirt at the neck and tore it down the center.

  "You are my wife. I'll not have the friend of your ex-husband interfering in our marriage and trying to take you from me. Tell me you understand me, Calla. On this, I will not budge. Not even for you," he ordered, and I nodded my head furiously.

  "I understand," I whispered, and it seemed to calm him for a marginal second. Then he tugged me from the wall, tossing me back onto the bed as he tore the remains of my shirt from my torso and slipped off my bra with frenzied movements. "Ryker," I pleaded.

  He ignored me and turned me to my stomach, grabbing my leggings and underwear at the waist and ripping them down my thighs. There was some awkwardness as he tried to pry them off my feet at that angle. His growl of frustration sounded through the room as he finally tossed the fabric to the side. There was a flash of blinding pain as his hand came down on my ass, and I shrieked, throwing an arm back to cover myself as I scrambled up to sit in the center of the bed.

  "You asshole!" I screamed, kicking at the hands that reached for my ankles. He grunted, grasping one in each hand and yanking me down the bed until I laid splayed out before him. As I scrambled to sit up, his hand went back to my throat. Circling it with his palm, he used it to pin me to the mattress as I snarled up at him in fury. "You fucking hit me."

  "I spanked my fucking ass. Have you forgotten who you belong to? You truly need a reminder so badly that you think I can't spank you when you risk everything we've built by keeping secrets?" I bucked my hips underneath him, trying to dislodge his grip on my neck while he settled between my thighs.

  "You promised me you would never hurt me," I whispered.

  "I also told you I would not tolerate dishonesty, did I not?" he asked. "I told you that you were mine, and I would kill anyone who tried to take you away from me. Yet, you thought it smart to look me in the eye for nearly two weeks and not say a word?"

  I glared up at him, wanting nothing more than to smack the furious look on his face until it disappeared. With the masculine, dangerous attractiveness that Ryker wielded like a weapon, seeing him so angry only magnified that. While I hated it and hated him, my body also already betrayed me.

  I wanted him, and I wanted to kill him all in the same breath.

  The hand not at my throat slid through the valley between my breasts, teasing over the sensitive skin of my stomach and making me twitch with anticipation as he reached the center of me. His fingers barely teased against my flesh there, nothing but a tickle and a promise of what was to come. "I did what I thought was best for our marriage."

  "Secrets will never be what is best for our marriage," he grunted, sliding a finger through my lips. The arrogant smirk that stole over his face was even more infuriating than his rage.

  And it made me hate myself, because he'd barely touched me aside from manhandling me.

  Yet, I was wet for him.

  "Fucking soaked for me, like you always are, Sunshine," he smiled, and I jerked my hips to escape his touch.

  "Like you don't keep secrets?" I accused, and his face twisted back to fury as he looked down at me.

  "You will have my secrets when you can hand
le them, Tesoro. Not a moment before. I truly keep them to protect you, because my past is a place that no wife should ever have to know." His growl morphed into a groan as his finger dipped inside me. The towel around his waist had long since fallen to the floor when he tackled me to the bed, and his cock hung heavy between us. In that moment, no matter how much I wanted it, I saw it for the weapon it could truly be.

  When he added a second finger inside me, shifting his weight down my body, I knew exactly how he intended to torment me. "Stop it," I gasped, trying to shove him off. His hand never left my throat, and I cursed just how short I was as his lips found my clit and he kissed it gently.

  "I'll stop. When you beg for me to fuck you," he whispered, every syllable making his lips vibrate against me in the worst tease of my life. His fingers slid out of me before pumping back in harshly, finger fucking me harder than he ever had before. He held my eyes as he licked me from entrance to clit and then set to worshiping me in a furious energy.

  He was all tongue and teeth. All anger and frustration. All ownership and possession. He brought me right up to the edge and then refused to send me spiraling over. He gave, but never enough. "Ryker!" I growled, hating his manipulations.

  But I knew how the game was played, I knew he would keep going until I gave him what he wanted. Ryker was too determined to do anything less.

  "Please," I begged, determined to end the suffering as quickly as possible.

  I hated him, but I loved him.

  I expected him to make me come. I'd given him what he wanted, but his mood was demanding as he rose from between my legs, pushed my legs wide, and shoved inside me harshly. I cried out with the intrusion, with the pain that came inevitably with taking him inside me. It had been too long since we'd had sex for his rough handling, but my body didn't care as it clutched at him and tried to take him deeper. I shoved at his chest, one thought persisting through my haze of need. "Condom," I reminded him.

  "We no longer have condoms, Calla." He stressed the words with a thrust that sent him pounding through me. "I threw them out."

  "What do you mean you threw them out?" I whispered, looking up at him with wide eyes. "We agreed!"

  He pounded through my resistance and sensitive tissue, building my orgasm even higher despite my objection to his lack of protection. "I told you I hoped you were prepared to deal with the alternative, Sunshine. Did you think I would just accept your refusal and roll over like a puppy dog?" he asked, and his eyes went positively wolfish as he glared down at me. "You won't let me adopt our children officially, then we will have one of our own to bind us all together permanently."

  "Stop it," I scolded him, but the words fizzled out on a moan as he worked himself in and out of me in furious strokes. He deftly avoided the spot inside me that would send me spiraling over the edge. "Children shouldn't be used like that—"

  "I want us to have a child, you want a third child," he said, and I glared at him for his small reminder of just how thoroughly he'd stalked me. "I want it now," he growled, shoving deep. "And you will give me that."

  His hips shifted, his body distracting me as he finally found that spot inside me and made gentle, teasing prods to it. It still wasn't enough to give me my orgasm, still made it hover just beyond my reach. "Please," I pleaded, and even I didn't know if I was begging for him to make me come or to reconsider his determination to get me pregnant.

  "Tell me you love me, and I'll let you come," he grunted, slipping a teasing finger to my clit so he could torment me further.

  "Fuck you," I hissed, but I moaned and writhed underneath him. Seeking just that little bit more.

  "I already know it's true. You already know it's true. Just admit it, and we can move on from this madness," he said, circling that finger over me until I whimpered.

  "Ryker," I whimpered, and his eyes held mine.

  Watching. Waiting.

  I hated him, but I loved him.

  "I love you," I said with a broken sob, falling into my orgasm immediately when the words made him fill me with the heat of his own release.

  He stroked inside me until I came down from it and kissed my lips gently. "I love you too, Tesoro. More than you'll ever understand." I glared up at him, feeling tears sting my eyes as he pulled out slowly. His eyes went to my core as I tried to close my legs, but he slid his hand between them as he touched his come that had slipped free. Using two fingers, he shoved it back inside me like the crazy person he was, and I laid there staring at him in horror until he turned and went to the bathroom.

  The sound of water running filled the bedroom through the open door and I stared at the ceiling with blinking eyes wondering what the fuck just happened. When he came back, he cleaned me gently, while I laid there stupefied.

  “Say it again,” he murmured.

  I waited until he laid down beside me and turned to rest my head on his chest. He didn’t like that, putting a finger under my chin and tilting my face up to look him in the eye. Stretching up with one hand, I stroked the scar on his face. “I love you,” I whispered. “I shouldn’t, but I do.”

  “No more secrets, Sunshine,” he whispered back to me, tugging me closer.

  “Then will you tell me about this?” I asked, my thumb ran over the line.

  He blew out a heavy breath but nodded. “I was just a boy. My father and brother were fond of whips. I got in the way one day, and my brother didn’t pull his arm in time.”

  “Whips?” I whispered in shock. “Like for animals?”

  “Another time, Tesoro. My life is better absorbed in small chunks. It’s less traumatic for both of us that way.”

  I nodded, feeling heavy as Ryker’s breathing evened out and he drifted off to sleep.

  I dreamt of a little boy being whipped in the face.

  Forty-Seven

  Calla

  I strode down the hallway of Axel’s school, listening to the sound of my sneakers squeaking along the floor with the force of my steps.

  Fury like I’d never known stressed each stomp, and even Dante was silent at my back.

  A fight.

  My harmless, smart, sweet boy punched the PTA President’s son in the mouth.

  The assistant nodded to me as she stood from her desk, moving to the Principal’s office door. “Right this way, Mrs. Latour.”

  “Mrs. Fiore, and I won’t even entertain the idea that you were unaware of my name change,” I hissed, sidestepping her as she pulled the door open. “I filed it with the school two weeks ago.”

  As soon as I stepped into the office, Principal Blanchet stood from her chair and opened her mouth. “Calla, this is completely unacceptable.” I held up a hand, silencing her as I moved to Axel and knelt in front of him. He let me tug the ice away from his eye, studying the swelling and purpling skin there as my rage intensified. “Mrs. Fiore!”

  “You somehow failed to mention that he was injured as well,” I growled as I spun on my knees and stood in front of Axel.

  “I informed you he was in a fight,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest.

  “No,” I warned. “You told me he’d struck another student on the mouth. In the future, if my son is injured in any capacity, when you call me that is the first thing that leaves your mouth. Is that understood?”

  “He struck first. The ramifications of that didn’t seem pertinent.” Pearl Duncan snickered on the other side of the office where she hovered with her spawn of a son, but I ignored her in favor of making myself very clear.

  “I will pull him from this school if you do not tell me I’ve been heard. What do you think happens to my husband’s donations when Axel no longer attends the Peterson School for the Gifted?”

  She blanched as she stared at me. “Mr. Fiore was a generous benefactor for months before he associated with you. As such, I would assume that his generosity would continue—”

  “You assume wrong,” I spat, turning back to Axel.

  “This is all beside the point. Can we get to that little menace being punishe
d? Look at what he did to my Oliver!” Pearl shrieked, and she clutched the strand of pearls around her neck.

  “I’m talking to my son before I can even think about dealing with you,” I shot over my shoulder. “What happened, Cookie Monster?” I asked Axel softly, ignoring her continued tirade behind me.

  “I want him expelled!”

  “Mrs. Fiore informed you she needed to discuss the situation with Axel. I suggest you quiet down and let her do that. When Mr. Fiore arrives, he won’t be pleased to learn his wife and son have been disrespected,” Dante warned, stepping between Pearl and I to form a physical barrier and give Axel and I a bit of privacy.

  It was greatly appreciated, even if it might have seemed insignificant with Principal Blanchet’s eyes on us, anyway.

  “Disrespected? You dare to talk to me about disrespect when you come into my space. Do you have any idea who my husband is?” she asked, and I resisted the urge to chuckle and throw out Matteo’s name.

  I’d let Ryker do that when he arrived, and knowing he was already on his way gave me the courage I needed to finally stand up for myself against all the bullshit I’d endured at the hands of the bitchy, judgmental women in that school.

  “Tell me what happened,” I repeated, touching Axel’s cheek. He turned his deep blue eyes up at me. Tears shone in them, and if I hadn’t already been murderous, the sight of those alone would have made me positively stabby.

  “He called you a slut,” Axel whispered, and my body froze as I processed the words. “He said that you proved just how trashy you were by spreading your legs for a man like Ryker.” I could see that my little boy didn’t fully understand the implication or meaning of the words, but he understood enough to know it had been a terrible insult.

  To both me and Ryker.

  Dante’s energy went haywire behind me, and I didn’t dare to look at his face.