Broken Tenets

by Beth Reason

  Chapter 11

  Tenet tossed and turned for hours. He couldn't get comfortable. He couldn't get his mind to settle. He couldn't feel at home in someone else's bed and he couldn't stand the silence. Sighing, he got up and made his way up to the kitchen.

  When Weevil had called this home his castle, he wasn't kidding. In the brief time since he had taken over the abandoned home, he had done his best to turn it into one. His fear of a window creeping up in the night and attaching itself to his house made him expand under ground. Above the ground were the same rooms that Lawrence had left, exactly how he left them. It was a ruse. The majority of rooms were below ground, including another secret mad laboratory, and his living quarters. Tenet asked how he did so much so fast, but Weevil's only response was a grin that said Tenet probably didn't really want to know.

  Tenet walked up the stairs and into the kitchen. Maybe a snack would settle him down. He got into the refrigerator, looking for the remains of the fresh salad they had with dinner. He just couldn't get enough of the greens after going so long on the mystery lumps Scarab fed him. He found it and brought the whole bowl to the table. Weevil had told him to feel free to help himself, and that's exactly what he intended to to.

  “Grazing?”

  Scarab's voice from the dark made him jump, dropping the lettuce from his hand. “Damn, Scarab...”

  She laughed and jumped down from her perch on the counter. “Couldn't sleep either?”

  He picked the lettuce up and popped it into his mouth. “I was laying there and couldn't stop thinking about eating this.”

  Scarab opened the fridge and shook her head. “The day a little piece of lettuce is enough to keep me awake..." She reached in the fridge and took out the chicken they also had for dinner. Well, most of them. Tenet hadn't said anything during the meal, no doubt his manners held the words back. But alone, she wanted him to see her eat it and say what he would. He'd have to get it out to get over it, and they didn't have much time to get him there.

  He eyed the plate, but said nothing. He picked up his lettuce and savored it, ignoring Scarab when she took out a leg and started eating. He tried to swallow down his comments, but eventually he had to say something. “Do you have to eat that in front of me?”

  Aha. Good. “I'm going to be doing it a lot, you know.”

  He shook his head. “Not around me.”

  She walked over and deliberately waved the meat in front of his face. With dramatic flourish, she brought it to her mouth and took another big bite. He made a face of disgust and looked away.

  “You know,” she said, wiping the corner of her mouth with a finger. “You'll have to.”

  She pulled out a chair and sat down, placing the plate of chicken between them.

  “Have to what?”

  “Eat it. Chicken, steak...maybe even goat.”

  His eyes went wide, and she almost laughed at the look of shock across his face. “Never,” he said firmly.

  She nodded. “You'll eat it or you'll starve.”

  “I'll just eat vegetables, thank you.”

  “When there aren't any?”

  He shrugged. “I'll be careful to store them up through the summer.”

  “Can't. One yearly harvest is all you'll get. You can't possibly store enough to get through the winter on just vegetables alone. You just can't.”

  He frowned. “Then I'll...I'll...they have potatoes, right?” She nodded. “Good! I'll eat potatoes.” He gave her a satisfied look and popped another lettuce leaf in his mouth.

  “You gonna grow them?”

  “I'll buy them.”

  She nodded. “I see you have it all planned out.”

  “Yep.”

  “How are you going to buy them?”

  He stopped chewing and frowned. “I...well I...” He had never been without money. It never occurred to him that once he crossed that border, he'd be poor as a pauper. “I...I don't know. I'll think of something.”

  “And what will you eat in the meantime?”

  He didn't like this. He didn't like it one bit. “There's a way. There's got to be a way. Maybe I can work for food.”

  “Maybe,” she conceded. “But what if you can't? What if it's harder than you think and it comes down to hunting for food or death?”

  He honestly had never even considered it. He never had to. Not once in his life had he wanted for anything, and the idea of wanting for even the very basics like food turned his stomach. “I don't know,” he said carefully. “I never had to before.”

  Scarab sighed and gave him a small smile. “Well, sorry, buddy, but you have to.”

  “I can't do this.”

  Scarab sat back and studied him for a minute. “You know what?”

  “What?”

  “I seem to have heard that from you a lot. You said you couldn't walk through ash like a pro, and you did. You said you couldn't shoot to protect yourself, and you did. You said you couldn't do anything, yet you kept my ass alive.” She shoved the plate of cold chicken towards him. “You can do it if you have to.”

  He shook his head. “I don't have to.”

  “You do. Now.” She nodded to the chicken, urging him to try it.

  “I can't eat an animal.”

  “Just like munching a carrot.”

  He gave a small laugh. “Carrots can't think.”

  “Neither can chickens. Trust me, I've been around them a lot. They peck and squawk and eat their own shit. Hell, leave them alone long enough and they even eat each other.”

  He looked at the chicken and could see it alive, asking him why he was doing this. “I can't.”

  “Your body is better designed to process meat than it is vegetables. Try it.”

  “It's not moral.”

  “Morals don't play into it. It's nature. Plain and simple. You are the hunter, it is the hunted. You were right when you said you weren't a bot. You're not. They kill indiscriminately. You're like the wraith, or the gilla. You hunt for food. It's part of the plan, and it's high time you get off your mighty throne and realize you're no better than nature.” She nudged the plate closer to him, waiting for him to try it.

  He sighed. There was truth behind her words. They made sense. And he knew the facts of history well enough to know the only reason humans turned away from meat in the first place was that they simply couldn't raise enough herds to feed them all. Oh, in recent generations it had turned moral. But they were false morals born of the humiliation of the failed attempts to migrate the large herds. So animals existed, herds were there, but only for the other products they could give. Sheep could be shorn for wool, allowing for few cotton crops and more food land. Cows were a necessary to feed peoples' babies who couldn't get milk from their own mothers. And chickens laid eggs. All of the herds were small, small enough to transport during migration. The modern social structure in which Tenet was raised couldn't support a meat industry.

  Tentatively, Tenet poked a piece of cold chicken. “It feels...dead.”

  Scarab laughed. “I should hope so! I wouldn't want to try and eat a live one!”

  He ignored her humor at his expense and picked up a piece. Giving it a sniff, he decided it smelled edible.

  Scarab bit her lip and considered how far she should go to get him to do this. She had hoped goading him with a challenge would have be enough. She sighed. Nothing to be done but tell him the truth. “Would it help things along if I told you you've already eaten meat?”

  Tenet's gaze flew to hers. “What...” But he didn't have to finish. The mystery lumps. “Protein” she had said. He could have smacked himself for not realizing it sooner. His stomach felt like it dropped to the floor. “You tricked me.”

  She obviously felt no remorse and shrugged. “You had to eat. Eat or starve. And I'd like to point out that it didn't kill you.”

  "You know how I feel about life." He felt utterly betrayed. "You know how important it is to me."

  She hated that she felt guilt. She did the right thing. There was no q
uestion about that at all. In the moment, she kept him alive however she had to. He was a bounty, for god's sake, and one she could have easily dragged in dead for the extra incentive. Had she done that? No. She shared what she had and it made him live, and live stronger. "Tenet, think about it. How long did your supplies last in that heat?"

  Not long, a couple days, and there was no use pretending otherwise. "You could have had soy chips."

  "Which give half the energy and protein per pound and you damn well know it."

  He shook his head. "You could have given me the choice. You should have told me."

  Scarab gave a little laugh at that. "Yeah, right. The overly proud little whine ass I found passed out in the dirt was really going to listen to reason and make the right choice."

  He didn't want her words to ring true, but they did. "You knew how I felt," he insisted, trying to hold on to some shred of who he thought he was.

  "No, Tenet. I knew what you were told to feel in the life you lead." She held up her hand when he opened his mouth to argue. "I'm not making any judgment there, so get that look off your face. I'm just saying that you were raised a certain way, and your beliefs are based solely on that. Could you at least get over your ego for a second and admit that?" He pressed his lips together tightly but eventually gave a curt little nod. Good, they were finally getting somewhere. "And can you admit that right now, you are no longer living that life?"

  He didn't like where she was going. "I'm still the same person."

  "You aren't, and frankly, I'm glad. That Tenet wouldn't have a chance in hell of making it up in the Borderlands."

  He wanted so badly to tell her how wrong she was. That niggle of pride she mentioned was telling him to insist he was the same person he'd always been and that person was certainly good enough. He didn't have to eat another living creature to survive. It went against everything he ever believed. If the past month had taught him anything, though, it was that everything else he believed had been proven wrong. He knew nothing about how the world really worked. He still didn't, not on the grand scheme, but he was learning. One by one every truth he was taught was proving to be twisted, skewed, or flat out wrong. How could he really believe anything that was based around a false life?

  Scarab watched his face as he stared at the chicken. He was thinking of arguments, and she began preparing another speech. This was important. He had to understand this simple truth. There had to be a way to get him to see how wrong he was, or else he'd die. All of these people who put their lives on the line for him would be ruined, and for what? To save a kid who couldn't- no, wouldn't- save himself. "Tenet," she began.

  It was already settled in his mind. Surprising Scarab, he picked up the chicken and bit a mouthful, squeezing his eyes tight against the revulsion and chewing as quickly as possible before he lost the nerve.

  “Whoa, easy now," she warned him.

  He chewed, bracing himself and expecting to gag at any moment. Instead, he was surprised by the flavor. It tasted salty with a light sweetness. “Huh,” he said with his mouth full. “Tastes like soy loaf.”

  Scarab grinned. “Oh, no. This is much better.”

  He chewed and swallowed, then tried another bite. “Not bad, I guess," he grudgingly admitted. His stomach gave a small roll, but he willed it calm. She was right. He didn't live in the world he thought he knew. That was all fantasy. He lived in her world, where the realness of everything threatened to be overwhelming if he let it. One day at a time, one revelation at a time, one bite at a time. He had to kill to survive when he had no choice, and very soon they'd have no choice. He paused for a moment to make sure his stomach listened to reason, and he took another small bite.

  Scarab watched and felt an admiration for Tenet she rarely felt for anyone. He did it. He actually did it, and the pride began to change to something else. She suddenly wanted to feel his hands on her again.

  The thought slammed into her chest and stopped her breathing. Where did that come from? An odd panic set in and she felt like running.

  Tenet swallowed his second bite, happy that it felt firmly in place in his stomach this time. He glanced up at her and grinned, pleased that he passed another one of her tests. "There!" he said with triumph. When he noticed that she looked like a panicked animal caught in transport lights, his smile turned to a frown. "You okay?"

  She shook her head, then nodded. “Yes. Fine.” She sat very still. The feeling was still there.

  “Scarab, what's wrong?” What did he say this time?

  "Nothing," she said quickly, trying to get herself under control. No, no, no, she told herself firmly. Nothing good ever comes from needing or wanting. Nothing. She jumped up and turned for the hall. "Good job on the chicken," she said quickly over her shoulder as she all but ran out of the room.

  Tenet stood staring at the empty doorway for several minutes, wondering what in the hell he said or did to piss her off. He sighed and gave up when he found no answer. He looked at the cold chicken leg in his hand and decided that two bites was more than enough. He put it back on the plate with the other pieces and placed it in the refrigerator. He was just washing the meat juice off his hands when Weevil came in.

  "Good, you're still up." He had a stack of papers in his hand and three pens stuck into his crazed mass of hair that fluffed out in all directions. Clearly he'd been hard at work. "Where are the others?"

  "They went to bed. I'll get them..."

  "No," Weevil said quickly. "Let them sleep." He motioned for Tenet to sit as he rummaged in a cupboard. He pulled out a bottle and two glasses, then joined Tenet at the table. "Finding everything you need here?"

  "Yes."

  "Good." He poured the drinks, one half-full, the other to the top. He slid the full one over to Tenet and then gave him a serious look. "No bullshit, kiddo. Drink."

  "What is it?"

  "Booze. And it's not the cheap stuff."

  Tenet let out a laugh. "Getting me drunk to butter me up?"

  Weevil flashed a grin. "Only in my dreams, I'm guessing." He waved a hand when Tenet made a face. "Oh calm down, hot pants." He motioned for Tenet to drink.

  The liquid burned raw. It was a far cry from the wines he'd had at parties and Academy celebrations. He balled his fist and forced the fire down. "Mind telling me why I'm putting my body through this torture?" he squeaked out.

  "Fortification, kid. Good old-fashioned liquid courage." He took his own drink down in one shot, then poured another. "Whooee that's something!" He smacked his lips, then turned serious. "I've been going over your situation. Putting a lot of thought into it."

  "Thanks."

  "Don't thank me. It's completely in my best interest to get all four of you the hell outta here as fast as I can. And, most importantly, to make sure you'll stay gone."

  Tenet didn't know whether to be offended or not.

  "Hark seems to think you'll fit in with the Cons, but he's been this side of the border too long. Hark's plan would have been a good one twenty years ago. But they lost their head honcho up there a couple years back and everything fell to shit. Hell, even if they didn't, I haven't had an 'in' with them in a decade or more. Hark forgets how old we both got."

  "So there are no more Cons?"

  "Well, there are. They still exist. But they're more of a roaming team of drugged out bandits. Shame, really. To go from freedom fighters with a cause to junkies." He shook his head. "Just how the world works, I suppose. Top of the world one day," he made a whistle, "bottom of the pile the next. And since you couldn't make it as a bandit no matter how much Scarab helps, the Cons are out."

  He couldn't be a bandit, that was for sure. It may have been a stab at his manhood, but it was an accurate one. "Fine. No Cons. Scarab didn't sound happy about that one anyway."

  "Who do you think sold her daddy out, hm?"

  Tenet's eyes narrowed. "Then why did Hark think...?"

  "He probably doesn't know that part. Or maybe he does but couldn't see another way. You're in a pick
le, and those rarely lead to many options. And, like I said, we got old. Hark moved out and around, I stayed put. Times have changed. I'll skip the modern history lesson and put it in a nutshell for you. Go legit."

  Tenet let out a bark of laughter. "I think we passed that option a long time ago."

  Weevil waved a hand in annoyance. "Seemingly legit, then. You don't want to join up with the bands. You want to be a respectable citizen. Government approved and everything."

  "And how are we going to do that?"

  Weevil clucked his tongue. "The youth of today is so impatient! It's the best part of my entire diabolical plan and you want me to blurt it all out instead of taking the time to savor my wit and cleverness." He shook his head and drank down his next shot. "Fine, Captain Impatience. You're going to present yourselves to the border guard as exactly what their young government needs."

  Tenet didn't like the tone of voice. Or the unmistakable glee in Weevil's eye. Or the fact that the man was intentionally drawing out the long silence for dramatic effect. "And that is?" he asked when he couldn't take it any longer.

  "A happy young couple." When his grin only met a blank stare, he sighed. "Damn you're thick, sweet cheeks. A couple. You know, white dress, flowers, the whole nine."

  Tenet's heart beat once, twice. He blinked. "But I'm not..." the third beat slammed him with realization of Weevil's plan. In his stomach, the cheap booze began a war with the unfamiliar meat and they both threatened to march right back out.

  Weevil laughed and put the rest of the drink in Tenet's hand. "And the second piece of the plan falls into place." He tapped his forehead. "I think of everything."

  The crazy little man actually wanted Tenet to marry Scarab. Tenet felt the drink in his hand and without thought, chugged it, glad for the burning that suddenly gave him an anchor. Weevil held out the bottle and poured another, which Tenet quickly downed. He coughed and then drew a shaky breath. "No," he managed.

  "No what?"

  "I...we can't be married."

  Weevil shrugged. "I've been doing this a long time, kid, and I can tell you that's your best option."

  "I'm not old enough." It was a gut reaction, born in through the strict years of society's teaching and practices.

  Weevil rolled his eyes dramatically. "God forbid you actually break any unwritten rules of conduct. You're an adult, right?"

  "Of course," he answered defensively. "I reached my majority years ago." He didn't consciously notice that Weevil had slyly filled his drink again, nor did he make the decision to actually drink it. As his mind churned with all the ways the idea was insane, he took another swig.

  "Then there's no problem."

  Tenet snorted. "No problem? No problem, he says!" A laugh bubbled up and his face felt very warm all of a sudden. "Do you know what it would do to my mother if she found out I wed before twenty five? It's...it's..."

  Weevil couldn't help but feel a little glee. The kid was getting drunk. Good and drunk. And on only a few drinks, at that. It struck him once again that this poor boy was in so far over his head that no matter how brilliant a plan he made, the chances of him actually seeing one more birthday were pretty slim. It was Weevil's first impression of the kid, and it only grew through the day and his research.

  As all the hunters had, he assumed Tenet was a spoiled brat rebelling without a cause when he read the bounty order. Poor little rich kid out to prove himself, damn the consequences to everyone who was forced to get involved because of his temper tantrum. Little shit should have stayed in his fancy house and easy life with plenty of food, women, money, and power. It was the power that he threw away that made Weevil hate Tenet before he met him. How anyone could anyone just walk away from that kind of life? It still galled. Add to that the fact that it was Scarab who took the bounty, Scarab who went racing off like some guardian angel, and it was almost too much. When he got Hark's plea for help, he would have laughed and hung up the com if it was only his life the fee would affect.

  In the past few years with increasing pressure from bot patrols, governmental sweeps for contraband, and curtailed trading between both gover lands, things weren't as cozy as they used to be for him or his citizens. It was a brutal life in his little town. Still, it was better than most of his residents had before they arrived. He got a secret joy from giving that kind of life to them, from being the one to give them something, anything. He wasn't going soft, he was just being practical. At least, that's what he told himself over and over after he promised his old friend help. He had to take the job. The money was too good to pass up.

  He got down to his business: knowledge. That was the absolute power. He began his research, digging where no one else would have thought to, and began to form a confusing picture of this Tenet Bradwin. Only son of the top dog...the very top. And yet, the life he lead, even on paper, was not the life it should have been. He was kicked out of the military, in spite of excellent exams, practicals, and survivalist training. Sins of the father passed on to the son, perhaps...but if his father could rise to power in spite of his mother's lineage, why was the son denied? He had no public courtship, which in itself was not unusual for his age, but he also had no record of private marriage agreement. His sister did, with contractual dowry already paid to the Bradwin's from the future groom's cache. Her life was locked in stone, as Tenet's should have been. It certainly painted an interesting picture, and Weevil had been very curious to meet the should-be prince.

  When Tenet arrived, Weevil's curiosity grew deeper. He walked and spoke with confidence, but not with condescension. He followed Scarab's lead in a way that most bounties didn't. He didn't present the picture of a rebel in any sense. It ate at Weevil, this puzzle of a boy. It made him want to help, a feeling he suspected he'd still have even if there wasn't an enormous pay day at the end. He'd never admit it out loud, of course, but he couldn't deny it to himself. Maybe he was getting soft in his old age.

  "Look, kid. I'm going to be straight with you. I wasn't fooling around when I said you were in deep shit. In fact, it's so deep I'm not sure even I can help the four of you dig out. I can make a plan for you, the best my experience can muster, and I can give you some advice. It's your choice whether to listen, do and follow, or not."

  Tenet saw through the warm haze of alcohol that Weevil was being serious. Well he was being serious, too, even if the weird little man didn't want to listen. "I can't get married," he said, feeling his mouth go dry. He took another sip. He just had to spell it out for Weevil, then he'd understand.

  "And why not? I've seen that ass, kid. I'm telling you, your marriage would be far from boring. I bet she knows how to do things to your body that you can't even dream of!"

  He suddenly wanted to take a swing at Weevil and he wasn't sure why. "Don't you go saying things like that again."

  Weevil let out a bark of laughter. "Have you even met me yet?"

  He had to get back on track. "Look. I have many reasons I can't get married. First, I haven't paid a dowry." He held his fingers up one by one as he ticked off the reasons that seemed obvious to him. "Second, I haven't announced intention of courtship. Fourth..."

  "Third," Weevil said, amusement dancing in his eyes.

  "...I'm not old enough. I wouldn't even consider it for a few more years and only then if I was one of..." he stopped. If what? Even his drunk mind realized the stupidity of what he was saying. He wasn't at home. He was no longer in the upper caste. In fact, as far as the upper caste was concerned, he was already dead...or at least well on the way to being so. He wasn't going back.

  Weevil saw the play of emotions over the kid's face and sighed. "Tenet, forget it. Forget them."

  "Who?"

  "Your family. Forget them. They wrote you off, now it's time to write them off."

  He shook his head, feeling lower by the second. He gripped his glass and brought it to his mouth, wanting the burn. It was empty. He held it out to Weevil, who hesitated only a second before giving him one more shot.

 
"That's your last, kiddo."

  Tenet gulped it. "They didn't write me off."

  "Of course they did!" Weevil almost yelled. Tenet flinched and Weevil blew out a frustrated breath, running his hand through his crazy hair. Calm. No matter how much the kid needed to hear it, he had to keep calm while saying it. It wouldn't sink in otherwise. "I know it sucks. Gotta hurt like a bastard. I get that. But they took out a contract on you. Even if you somehow made it back alive, your father didn't have any plans for your future." Tenet shook his head and looked to Weevil as if he was about to cover his ears. "You haven't put your head in the sand and ignored your situation yet, so don't start now."

  Tenet swallowed hard, trying to get the lump of disappointment in his throat to go away.

  "You have no betrothal, do you?" Weevil asked. Tenet looked at his empty glass, feeling more and more uncomfortable with someone pointing out the truths in his life he tried to ignore for so long. "You were kicked out of the military, and then you had to enroll yourself in a profession training course."

  "Father didn't...He wanted me to be a gover," he said, using the local language he was picking up.

  "Even govers need training," Weevil said quietly.

  It was a fact that had niggled at Tenet's brain for two years. After the military path was closed to him, his father should have paved another road. He constantly told Tenet he had a future in politics, yet never showed him any way to get there. Words. Years ago, he realized it was all just words.

  "Why'd you do it, kid?" Tenet continued to stare at his empty glass. "You knew, didn't you?" Tenet's surprised look flickered up to Weevil for a second, before he turned his head away again. "Shit."

  Tenet knew alright. He knew how much his father hated him, how much his mother didn't care one way or the other. "Maybe I was trying to show him how wrong he was," he admitted, his speech a little slurred, both with emotion and the booze. "And he was right, huh?" He gave a snort of derision.

  Weevil knew this was where a friend would stroke the ego, build up confidence, restore self-esteem. A friend would have praised him for getting this far, given him a pep talk about how he could keep going, prove the world wrong and win the day. But he wasn't a friend, and that's not what Tenet needed anyway. He needed honesty. "Kinda was, I suppose."

  Tenet's head was starting to spin. Or the room was. Or maybe both. He leaned forward and put his forehead on the cool table top. "You don't pull any punches, do you Weevil?"

  Weevil felt a pang of sympathy. "Nope, I sure don't. And that's why people come to me, people in your situation."

  Tenet laughed. "How many people are in my situation?"

  "Not exactly your situation, then, but similar. Running. Running scared, tired, and ill-prepared. It's taken balls and guts to get this far. Yeah, Scarab dragged your sorry ass. But I gotta hand it to you that you listened, followed and learned. What more do you want me to say? I can't lie to you like everyone else."

  It was a very good point. He rolled his head to the side to look at Weevil. "I knew my father hated me. Always has. Hates my mother, too. Calls her a tribal witch."

  "Why'd he marry her, then?"

  "Because he wanted her and he thought she loved him." The honesty coming out of his mouth for the first time shocked Tenet, but he kept talking, saying the thoughts he'd always felt guilty for thinking. "She cheats on him with the help. I'm probably not even his."

  "Holy shit." Weevil poured another shot for them both. "This is getting good." He didn't even have the good grace to look apologetic as he motioned for Tenet to continue.

  "Good? Good for who? Because it's not that good for me. It's not good for Mother, or even Father for that matter." He shook his head. "It's no good, Weevil. Imagine if everyone knew." He pushed up on his elbow just enough to take another drink, then flopped back on the table top. "You have a comfy table," he mumbled. When he was quiet for a few minutes, Weevil thought maybe he had passed out.

  "I knew he hated me and I was gonna show him just how stupid he was," he said loudly, his voice echoing in the large, dark kitchen. "I got a buncha stuff together and I got it all planned out." He snorted. "Okay, I get it now. But at the time, I really did put a lotta thought into things, you know? You just..." He opened his eyes and lifted his head to look at Weevil. "You ever spent a summer off season down my way?"

  "No, can't say that I have."

  As if that settled something, Tenet gave a nod and placed his head back on a stable surface. "Lettuce and tomatoes shrivel up in days, even in a thermo pack. And you get so damn thirsty. You don't even know how thirsty, Weeve. You just can't imagine. And then you get all dried out inside, and then you start thinking to yourself that you're lost. You know you're lost, because there's nothing at all you know even standing in your own front yard and..." He stopped talking again, and Weevil reached over to check for a pulse. "There was just so much I didn't know," he said suddenly. "And I didn't even know I didn't know." He rolled his head and looked at Weevil again. "You know?"

  "Yeah, I get it, kid."

  Tenet snorted again. "I thought my arm was mangled. I'm a damn healer, and I didn't know my arm was just asleep."

  Weevil felt bad for the kid then. "Aw, I'm sure you were just dazed and..."

  "A bounty hunter saved my life." He closed his eyes again. "If my father saw me laying in that dust he woulda left me. A stranger who was paid to arrest me...promised more money to kill me...a stranger saved me."

  There was nothing Weevil could say.

  "Don't you think I want to forget it all? Forget them all?" He laughed, a sad, bitter little bark that cut right through Weevil's jaded exterior. "And what am I doing? I'm still fighting it every step. Drink the milk, no! I can't! For shame!" He waved a hand wildly. "Kill the horrifying monster that just wants nothing more in life than to see you dead and eat your innards you say? Alas, we cannot harm them because we live in our safe little houses filled with useless junk we destroy when we die because God forbid someone less fortunate gets any use of..."

  "Tenet?"

  Scarab's voice in the doorway stopped him. He whipped around and stood, wobbling a little, but managing to stay upright. "Hi! Thought you were sleeping?"

  Scarab took in the sight of him, wobbly, slurring, obviously drunk. "I was," she said, pointedly. She walked to the table and sniffed the empty glass, making a face at the harsh smell. "Dammit, Weevil! You should have known better."

  Weevil put his hands in the air. "Don't blame me. He's the one that decided to try and drink me under the table, poopsie bear."

  "Hey!" Tenet barked. "Don't yell at him like I'm a child. I'm past my majority, ya know."

  Scarab sighed. "Yes, I'm sure you've had lots of experience with rotgut at your fancy balls and cotillions. If you're done wallowing in the gutter for the night..."

  "I didn't once wallow!" he shouted, getting angry at her tone. "I'm not a child, Scarab."

  "Well pardon me, but you're certainly acting like one!"

  Weevil considered intervening for a second, but decided rather quickly it was much more amusing to sit back and watch.

  Tenet weaved and put a hand on the counter to steady himself. "Go to bed, Tenet," she said more kindly.

  "Do you know the plan?"

  "What plan?"

  Tenet waved a finger between the two of them. "Our plan. The plan." He flicked his hand around his head. "The whole shebang plan."

  She would have smacked the silly grin off his face if it wasn't oddly endearing. So he was good and drunk. So what? She really wasn't the one to be passing judgment on that. At least she got in there before he went and did something with Weevil he'd regret. "No," she admitted. "I don't know the plan. But I do know that if you don't get into bed, and soon..."

  Tenet poked her shoulder with his finger. "You are going to marry me."

  Scarab waited for a punchline that never came. Slowly she turned to look at Weevil.

  "Not the best proposal, but I guess given the circumstances..."

&nbs
p; They were serious. They were serious?! "No." She said it to Weevil, completely ignoring Tenet's blustering insistence.

  "Yes," he said. "I was just telling Tenet here..."

  "No," she said, the panic growing in her making her voice as loud as Tenet's. She felt Tenet's hands on her shoulders and she whipped back to stare at him. "No," she told him. "I can't make it any more clear than that."

  "Weevil said he has a plan that'll get us over the border safely and...stop shaking your head, it's making me dizzy."

  "The booze is making you dizzy," she snapped, pulling away from him. "I'm making sense. No, I will not marry you. That is the stupidest idea I've ever heard, and you've had some doozies!" Weevil laughed. The jerk actually laughed at her!

  "If you'd just calm down and listen to reason..."

  "If I listened to reason I never would have taken this stupid bounty in the first place!"

  Weevil had known Scarab for years. She was all puff and show. He could see the anger for what it was, an immediate defense while the cogs in her brain went into overtime to think through every possibility. She put up the wall to be able to distance herself and assess. He didn't take her words personally. "Keep going, sister. I can take it until you run out of steam. Just let me know when you're ready to talk instead of lash out like a child." He pushed back from the table and rose. "I expect to see both of you in the morning for identity reassignment. Hopefully by then you'll cool your jets and realize what my good pal Tenny has. You've really got no choice." He gave them a pointed glare before walking out.

  Scarab slumped into an empty chair at the table. "Sit down before you fall on your ass," she snapped. Tenet instantly complied. The minutes of silence ticked by as she tried to calm herself down. Tenet picked up the bottle and sloshed more in his glass, and Scarab snatched both away from him. "You're definitely cut off, buster." She put the bottle back in the cupboard and returned to sit and stare at Tenet, her mind scrambling to make sense of the turn the evening took. When she could speak without shouting, she asked Tenet the exact plan.

  "I dunno," he slurred. "Get married, go across, live happy lives of toil and strife until we die horribly under a glacier."

  "There aren't glaciers in the Borderlands," she said automatically, her mind trying to accept what he was saying. "We don't need to be married. We cross and join the Cons and...don't shake your head at me. You heard what Hark and Enna said."

  "They're wrong. Cons are shit now." He made a noise and waved his hand, as Weevil had. "Kaput. Defunct. No more. There's a new sheriff in town and...hey!"

  "What?"

  "I just got what that old expression means!"

  Scarab huffed in annoyance. "Fine. Great. Give yourself a pat on the back. Now, what did you say about the Cons?"

  "Kicked outta there. No longer in charge."

  "Shit."

  "Yup. They got their own govers up there now. New ones. Weevil thinks they wanna do it right, like have a real respectable nation."

  Scarab bit her lower lip, tuning his babbling out. She couldn't be part of anything legit, not in the Borderlands. They'd get her. They'd get her and kill her this time. They'd kill Tenet, too. Maybe punish him first, but neither would get out of there alive if they found out who she was. Could Tenet off-season with her? No. That was surely more dangerous. A secret like that couldn't be kept in this world. He mentioned the possibility of crossing the equatorial desert. Maybe they could strike out for the south lands...

  Tenet's hand on hers got her attention. "Am I?" he asked.

  She was lost in thought and hadn't heard the question. "Huh?"

  "Am I?" he asked again.

  "Are you what?"

  "Really such a bad choice?"

  She pulled her hand away from his, shocked at herself for almost answering. "I'll talk to Weevil and get this figured out."

  "Scarab..."

  "I can't marry you, Tenet."

  "Can't? Or won't?"

  She was getting a headache. "Go to bed, Tenet. I'll think of something."

  "Like I'm a child." He pushed back from the table and stood, his look dark and brooding. "I'm not a child, Scarab. And it's my life, too! You were the one that chose to come after me. You told me to run. Fine. I'll run. I was trying to help you out because you helped me, but I see you don't want it. So I won't try. I'll go up to the Borderland and have my own life and you can go scurrying off and putting yourself through hell just to keep avoiding real people and real life."

  No one had ever spoken to Scarab like that. No one. The outrage filled her until she saw red. "You are trying to help me? I don't believe this! If it wasn't for me, you'd have been dead a good month ago!"

  "And if you don't team up with me now, you're the one who'll be dead a good month from now! You want to die, Scarab? Because they will find you. I may be naive, I may be in the dark about some things, but one thing I know for sure is that he doesn't stop. My father does...not...stop. He will get you. He will put everything he has into hunting you down and getting rid of you forever."

  "Then I'll head south."

  "Across the desert?"

  "Yes."

  He barked a laugh. "You're good, but even you aren't that good. Where are you going to get a transport that can handle it? You yourself said the only way is if the governments put all their resources together..."

  "You were the one that said that. I said it was ridiculous to even try!" She snapped her mouth shut, realizing she'd just lost her own argument. "I'll think of something," she said quickly.

  "You say that a lot."

  "And I do it every single day!"

  Tenet threw his hands in the air. "Fine! Keep doing it every day. God forbid someone offers you a hand once in awhile! Admit it. You're still mad I had to stitch you up."

  And this was exactly why she never argued with a drunk person. They went from topic to topic and it was all pointless. "Just what does that have to do with anything?"

  "You hate it when you need help. Hell, I bet if you hadn't been passed out cold, you'd have snapped your trap shut and watch your guts fall out the hole that wraith made instead of admitting you needed someone to lend a hand."

  It was too true for comfort. "I said thank you for that..." she said through clenched teeth.

  "Said it, but didn't mean it."

  "That's not what we were talking about," she said quickly.

  "It's exactly the same thing. You know what I told Weevil?" He didn't wait for her answer. "I told him I couldn't marry you."

  Scarab blinked in surprise. "Then why are we even having this fight?"

  "I told him I couldn't, but I know I have to. That's the difference between you and me."

  "I don't know what you're talking about."

  Tenet gave a curt laugh. "Oh, yes you do! I might not start out knowing what I have to do, but I sure learn my lesson fast enough. I had to kill that wraith, so I did. I had to eat meat, so I did..."

  "Oh no, you don't get to claim that one!," she jumped in, seizing the opportunity to defend herself. "I had to push you..."

  "So I needed convincing. So what? In the end, I did what I had to do."

  She pointed her finger angrily at him. "Look here. I always do what I have to do. My entire life is doing what I have to do. I'm sorry, but I didn't have the luxury of growing up in a palace unlike some people."

  "No. You had the luxury of growing however you wanted with no one dictating every action of your life. And that's left you completely unwilling to accept that sometimes, the mighty Scarab is wrong."

  Did he truly see her that way? He should, she insisted to herself. That's how everyone should see her. And yet, the words stung.

  "If you stay here, you die. If you continue hunting for this government, you die. You can't make it south. If you try, you die. You have one option left. Borderland."

  He made too much sense for a drunk man, and it rankled. "Even if that's true, we don't need to be married to get there." He couldn't argue that one.

  "Weevil said
we do."

  She scoffed. "And you're just trusting him. Just like that."

  "Yup."

  Naive. The stupid idiot was still as naive as the day she found him. He hadn't learned a damned thing! "You don't even know him!"

  "I didn't know you."

  She felt her chest tighten. "Maybe you shouldn't have trusted me, either."

  The haze of the booze didn't lessen the frustration building in Tenet, didn't take the edge off as it had at all the insufferable parties he'd been forced to attend under the guise of duty. If anything, it fueled the current fire. "Why do you always have to be so damn stubborn?" Before she could give an answer he already knew he didn't want to hear, he threw his hands in the air. "I'm done." He turned and teetered grabbing the counter for support as the alcohol let him know it was still in charge.

  Scarab couldn't stop the snort. "Yeah, you're done all right."

  He shot her a glare and stormed out of the kitchen. Scarab took a deep breath when he was gone and ran a shaky hand through her hair. She hated arguments, especially with stubborn idiots who couldn't hold their liquor and didn't know shit about life. She sat down and looked at the shot glass for a second before picking it up and draining what Tenet had left behind. The burn helped stop the shaking and gave her something to focus on. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and stood up, determined to let Weevil know exactly what she thought about his plan. She stormed down the stairs to Weevil's private quarters and had her hand up to pound on the door when it flung open.

  "Have my dreams finally come true then, butter butt?" His stupid grin was almost too much for her to take.

  "Why in the hell did you fill his head with that stupid shit?"

  Weevil sighed and leaned against the door frame. "Come on, peach. You're smart enough to know the score. You may have just been a little larva when you left, but you can remember how life is up there. He wouldn't live a week and you damn well know it."

  "I'm not going to let him go up alone," she said through clenched teeth. "I wouldn't have taken this bounty if I planned on copping out last minute."

  "Then enjoy the fact that your future husband has an ass I drool over."

  She felt her face turn red. "I don't care about his ass," she muttered.

  Weevil barked with laughter. "You're a terrible liar, hon. Absolutely horrible."

  "Are you coming back here?" came the voice from somewhere in the bedroom.

  "Just a second you needy little bastard! You want even more punishment?"

  "Yes!"

  Weevil sighed heavily and rolled his eyes. "Gluttonous little pig. Can we wrap this up?"

  Beyond uncomfortable, but still needing to make her point, Scarab rushed ahead. "There's no reason we need to be wed to cross."

  "They'll accept you if you are. They need young couples that promise new blood. It'll make everything so much easier and they'll ask far fewer questions. Could you cross as just two random people? Depends on how many questions you want to answer, how thoroughly you feel like being grilled."

  She knew that to be true. Wedded couples had always been preferred. The pressure to marry and start families was great in the Borderlands simply for survival's sake. It was a harsh truth of her old life. Too often, people died young. The life up there meant everyone lived on a different time line. Had her father not damned them all, she would be wedded with two or three children by now. She understood. "But we're coming from here, where there isn't the pressure and..." She was reaching and she knew it. Marry here before crossing, or be pressured to wed after crossing. Unless they could live in the wild. The thought struck her and stuck. "Wilderness. We'll be apart from the civilized towns and..." Weevil was shaking his head, but Scarab pushed on. "We'll set up our own stead and..."

  "You never listen, do you? One of your most irritating traits, and one you'll have to get over to have a successful marriage."

  "I'm getting cold in here!" came the mystery voice.

  "Then put on a friggin' blanket!" he shouted over his shoulder.

  "If I wasn't tied up..."

  "Can it!" Weevil shook his head again. "Impatient bugger."

  The exchange between the two lovers deepened her blush and made her sorry she barged into the extremely private affairs of Weevil.

  Weevil looked at her and sighed to himself. It was very easy to forget just how young this little bug was. In some ways she was more jaded than even him. In some ways, she was every bit the seasoned, hardened hunter. And yet there were times like this when the very thought of what he did behind his closed door had her shy, scared, and humiliated. He took pity on her. "Look, pumpkin. You did this to yourself. You picked this path. I'm just trying to make it work."

  The fatherly tenderness was surprising from Weevil, and she was completely thrown. "I...I still don't see why we can't live in the wilderness..."

  He gave a little shrug. "Fine. Do it. Go back to that hard way of life. No skin off my nose. Good luck keeping alive by running the rest of your life, because the one thing I'm sure of is that you need to make yourselves as attractive to them as possible to pull this off. Married. Shit, if there was any way you could get knocked up overnight, that would be the best..." Her face paled, and he laughed. "No, didn't think that was going to go over well. But married and looking like you're working on the second stage and they're almost guaranteed not to turn you away."

  "We'll sneak in."

  He snorted. "And then what? Where ya gonna get food? Supplies?"

  "We'll hunt. Make what we need."

  "Live off the land." His tone may have been condescending, but Scarab decided to pretend he was serious.

  "Absolutely."

  "When was the last time you lived off the grid?"

  She was going to say she did it every day of her life, but that wasn't exactly true. She could hunt for game, and did when she had to, but that was very rare. For the most part, she bought her food like everyone else. She lived alone, but still relied on houses, systems, electricity, and medical supplies, whether they belonged to her or not. She wouldn't have money to buy supplies once up there.

  "You can go ahead with your plan. It won't work and you'll die. Being an enemy up there is far worse than being an enemy here. You know that first hand. Your best shot is to get in there, as legal as possible, and live by the rules."

  "I can't marry him," she insisted, her frustration threatening to boil over.

  "Then it's been nice knowin' ya, sparky. Have someone let me know when the funeral is."

  "You don't get it!" she shouted. "None of you understand."

  "Then tell me."

  "Yes, tell him so we can get be done with your drama!" the annoyed voice from the room cut in.

  Scarab and Weevil both ignored him. "If they find out who I am..."

  "They won't," Weevil insisted. "I'm very good at what I do."

  "If they do," she insisted, "then we're screwed. And if he's tied to me..." Scarab swallowed a lump in her throat. "I can't keep him safe if we're married."

  "Well maybe it's not him I'm trying to keep safe here, sweetheart." Before she could reply, he leaned forward and gave her a kiss on the forehead, completely flustering her senses. Tenderness and caring from Weevil was more than she could take. "Think about it, kiddo. You're too smart to ignore your best option." He quickly cleared his throat and put on his best smile, clearly as uncomfortable with kind tenderness as she was. "Now, off to bed. I've got an impatient, impudent little ogre that needs to be taught a lesson." He spun her around by her shoulders, gave her a quick smack on the ass, and slammed his door before she had time to blink.

  Scarab numbly made her way back upstairs to the kitchen. She paused for only a second before taking the bottle of liquor out of the cupboard and taking a long pull from the bottle. There was a better plan. She was sure. She just had to figure it out for herself.