Hannah came to get her and she followed her maid to the cabin the captain had readied for her. She went through the motions, giving Hannah her dress to wash and press so she could put it on again after her bath.
They’d wait until midnight.
She smiled when Austin came to get her for the meal the ship’s cook prepared for them. She pushed the food around on her plate while carrying on a semi-coherent conversation with the Marquess of Culbertson. Then, she pleaded exhaustion early with the promise to go right to bed and get a good night’s sleep.
The minute the Marquess of Culbertson left her at her cabin, she wrapped a blanket around her shoulders and made her way back on deck to watch for Gabriel.
They’d wait until midnight.
She stood in the shadows for hours as she watched the passing riverbanks. Every hundred yards along the Seine there was another campfire, another guardpost. How in the world would Gabriel find a spot where he wouldn’t instantly be apprehended?
Lydia concentrated on the direction from which Gabriel would most likely come toward them, but the beautiful French coastline held no promise.
Her fingers and toes grew numb from not moving, her cheeks and nose tingled with the cold, and still she kept her vigil. She had until midnight.
The full moon cast a huge, white glow upon the water. She prayed he’d sail through the light so she’d see him coming. She swore if he came back to her she’d never let him out of her sight again.
The minutes went by, then an hour, and another. She stared until her eyes burned and she couldn’t feel her legs beneath her. And still she watched.
At first she didn’t realize the small speck on the water might be him. But as he came nearer, she recognized the boat and the man in it. A lump formed in her throat and she blinked fast to keep the tears from falling.
The lookout signaled that Gabriel had been spotted and there was a flurry of activity on deck. Lydia pressed herself into the shadows so she wouldn’t be seen.
Captain Faraday rushed out of the wheelhouse, still buttoning his coat.
Austin ran up the stairs from below with Culbertson close behind him. They all raced to the starboard side of the ship to help Gabriel aboard.
At last a half dozen sailors lowered ropes and Gabriel climbed the ladder.
His progress was slow. As soon as he made his way over the ship’s railing he clutched his thigh. A gasp caught in her throat.
Captain Faraday and the Marquess of Culbertson shook his hand and Austin clasped his fingers atop Gabriel’s shoulder. They talked softly and Gabriel leaned against the railing to take the weight off his leg. He was in pain. She knew it without seeing him take a step.
She stood in the shadows and watched Austin take him to his cabin. Tears ran down her cheeks, burning her skin and causing the ache in her head to worsen.
When she was certain she wouldn’t be seen, she swiped at the tears that refused to stop and stepped out of the shadows.
Into the Marquess of Culbertson’s arms.
…
Gabriel awoke from a dead sleep and knew without looking that someone was in his cabin. Whoever it was hadn’t made a sound, yet he knew they were there.
Close.
Watching him.
After all the years he’d spent in intelligence, it was something he sensed.
He opened his eyes and slowly turned his head to the side.
She stood still, dressed in white, hair cascading around her shoulders, her arms hanging casually at her sides.
“Liddy?”
He started to rise, then dropped the covers back over him. He could hardly stand in front of her naked.
She walked toward him, her bare feet making no sound on the smooth wooden floor. When she reached the side of his bed, she stopped but didn’t speak. After several long seconds she breathed a heavy sigh that shuddered in the silence and reached for the belt at her waist to pull it loose. She pushed the material from her shoulders and let it fall to the floor.
He stared at her in confusion and when he opened his mouth to speak, she placed her fingers against his lips to quiet him.
In the tension-filled silence, she lifted the edge of his covers and climbed in next to him.
“Liddy?”
“Shh,” she whispered. “Words have no place between us. Not tonight.”
She rose above him and kissed his lips. Her kiss was gentle and he answered her tender entreaty with all the emotion he possessed. She cupped his cheeks in her palms and kissed him again, then lay down beside him.
He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. She nestled against him, forming to every curve and hollow. With his chin resting against the top of her head and one of his hands cupping her breast, they lay cradled against each other.
The hours went by far too quickly. He didn’t want this night to ever end, but knew it would.
Before he was ready to give her up, she separated herself from him and slid out of bed. She gathered up her robe from beside the bed and put it on.
She was ready to leave him but he wasn’t sure he was strong enough to let her go. He wanted to reach for her, to pull her back to him and hold on tight. But that wasn’t possible and he knew it. Chisolmwood had purchased her for his son and he was powerless to prevent it from happening.
She took a step away from him then another until she reached the door. “Gabriel?” she whispered with her hand on the latch. She didn’t turn around. It was as if she didn’t have any more courage than he did when it came to doing what they both knew they must.
“Yes?”
“Is there any way we can ever be together?”
A painful silence followed. His lack of response should have answered her question, but he couldn’t take a chance that she’d harbor any hope. Through a pain that was more agonizing than he could bear, he gave her the only answer he could. “No.”
She nodded as if she’d anticipated his response, but her hand trembled as she lowered the latch.
She opened the door and stepped into the corridor.
He didn’t know how it had come to this. He shouldn’t have let her stay the night with him. He shouldn’t have held her in his arms. He shouldn’t have let himself dream that every night could be like this one. But he had no control where she was concerned.
And for the rest of his life he would have to live with this and every other memory they’d shared…and lost.
Chapter Twenty
Nothing was real from the time they stepped off the ship in London. Harrison waited for them at the docks with four carriages. One for Hannah and Morgan. One for Austin, Harrison and herself. One to take the Marquess of Culbertson to his residence. And one to take Gabriel away from her.
She pressed her fist against her stomach. She hurt. Oh, dear God, but she hurt. This time when he left her there would be no reason to come back.
They reached Etherhouse and Harrison kept her close as they made their way up the walk. Ruskins opened the door and for the first time in her life the butler wore a smile on his face.
“Welcome home, Lady Lydia,” he said with a respectful bow.
“Thank you, Ruskins. It’s good to be home.”
Harrison gave the order to bring tea, then led them to the morning room. “Why don’t we sit down? After such a long day, I believe a brandy is in order for both Austin and myself.”
Harrison went to the sidebar and poured Austin a brandy. Ruskins opened the door and a servant entered with tea and sandwiches that she set in front of Lydia.
“Ruskins,” Harrison said before the butler could leave. “Have Cook kill the fatted calf. I’ve listened to my brother’s stomach growl for more than an hour now. Please, warn Cook that he’ll undoubtedly devour everything she puts in front of him.”
“Very good, sir.”
“A toast,” Harrison said after Ruskins closed the door behind him.
Austin and Harrison each had their brandy, and Harrison poured Lydia a small glass of sherry so she could join his
toast.
“To my brother, who gave me the worst scare of my life, and who I’d miss more than life itself if he hadn’t come back to us.”
Harrison and Lydia raised their glasses.
“To Liddy,” Harrison continued. “Who put herself in danger, not because she was asked, but because she’s the true hero of our family.”
Lydia blushed as her brothers raised their glasses to toast her.
“And to Major Gabriel Talbot,” he added. “A dear friend. One who’s not present to hear this, but to whom I owe more than I’ll ever be able to repay. He had in his care the two most important people in my life and he brought them back safely. This isn’t the first time he’s made an immense sacrifice for our family and we will forever owe him more than we can repay.”
A knowing glance passed between her two brothers and with eyes that glistened with emotion, they drank a toast.
Lydia wasn’t sure what Harrison meant when he said this wasn’t the first time Gabriel had made a great sacrifice for their family, but she assumed he meant the times he’d saved Austin’s life during the war. That had to be it. And yet…
“Now,” Harrison said, refilling the men’s glasses. “I want to hear this brilliant plan of Gabe’s that got you safely out of France.”
Austin related every detail of how they’d hidden in the barrels that Gabriel passed off as refuse. Then, when he feared they’d be discovered, Gabriel had jostled one of the barrels of slop.
Lydia knew if Gabriel were here he’d stop Austin from making him out the hero, but without his interference, it was impossible to lessen his ingenuity and bravery. He was a hero. His heroism came out more clearly with every detail Austin revealed. But Gabriel wasn’t here to be a part of their celebration. He’d chosen to make their break clean.
Lydia thought of the nights they’d spent in each other’s arms. Was it possible that his world hadn’t changed as drastically as hers?
Was it possible that what they’d shared had meant nothing to him?
A niggling wave of trepidation gnawed away at her, causing an uneasy feeling to sit in the pit of her stomach and refuse to go away.
He’d meant it when he’d said there wasn’t any way they could ever be together, but somehow she knew separating himself from her hadn’t been his choice. She knew he didn’t intend to see her again. But the reason wasn’t because he didn’t care for her enough. She would know if that were the case. If there was one thing she was certain of, it was that Major Gabriel Talbot cared for her. No, not just cared for her.
Major Gabriel Talbot loved her.
Lydia smiled—not a small grin she could hide behind the cup of tea she’d raised to her mouth, but a wide, euphoric smile that made her want to shout with glee. Gabriel loved her just as she loved him, injured leg included. But there was a reason he’d walked away from her, and it had nothing to do with the dowry he’d used as an excuse not to marry her.
An explosion of light ignited somewhere inside her breast. She wasn’t sure what it meant, but it gave her a glimmer of hope. If she could discover the reason he thought he couldn’t marry her…
“Why did Gabriel refuse to marry me a year ago?”
Her question couldn’t have had a greater impact if she’d dropped a cannon ball in the middle of their sitting room. The glass in Harrison’s hand stopped mid-way to his mouth and Austin sputtered as he tried to swallow the sip of brandy that suddenly seemed to have difficulty going down.
“Would you like me to repeat my question?” she said, watching the color fade on both her brothers’ faces. “What was the real reason Gabriel—”
“We heard you,” Harrison interrupted.
Of her two brothers, he seemed to recover first. Austin, however, kept his gaze focused on some insignificant spot on the other side of the room.
“You know what Gabriel told you,” Harrison said.
“I know that what he told me was a lie. My dowry meant nothing to him.”
“What would you have lived on?”
Lydia smiled. “I have Southerby Manor.”
“Do you think that would have been enough?”
Lydia wanted to laugh. “Yes, it would have been enough. We loved each other,” she said, rising from the sofa. “Love and Southerby Manor would have been more than enough.”
She moved her gaze from one brother to the other. “What happened when Gabriel met with Father? You were there. What did Father say that forced Gabriel to tell me he didn’t love me?”
A soft knock on the door prevented her brothers from having to answer her question.
“The Duke of Chisolmwood is here,” Ruskins announced. “I suggested that now was not a good time but he was quite insistent.”
Harrison and Austin exchanged uncomfortable looks, then Harrison rose from his chair. “Show the duke in, Ruskins.”
“Very well.”
The Duke of Chisolmwood walked in without being announced.
“Your Grace,” Harrison said stepping away from his chair.
“Etherington.”
The greetings were stilted. When they’d finished with the required pleasantries, the duke turned his attention to Lydia. A chill ran down her spine.
“I’m glad to see you are no longer missing.” He studied her with an assessing glint.
“I was hardly missing, Your Grace. I was visiting a friend.”
“Whom were you visiting?”
Lydia tried to make her lie convincing. “I spent last month in the country.”
“How interesting, then, that you were seen disembarking from the Silver Star just a few hours ago along with your brother, Captain Landwell, and Major Talbot.”
Lydia fought the warning that caused her blood to rush to her head. “Then you also know that your son, the Marquess of Culbertson, disembarked from that same ship.”
“Yes. I just left my son and heard some fabrication that doesn’t bear repeating. I thought perhaps you might be able to enlighten me as to the real reason you went to France.”
“I’m afraid I can’t. Where I’ve been isn’t open for discussion.”
The Duke of Chisolmwood’s eyebrows narrowed. “Then perhaps we should move on to a topic that is open for discussion.”
“And what might that be?”
“The announcement of your engagement to my son.”
Lydia’s breath caught in her throat. “I—”
His Grace held up a hand to stop her from continuing. “I just informed my son that I will schedule a celebration to announce your engagement a week from today.”
“Your son agreed?”
“Of course. He knows his duty. He’s known for more than a year that he’s required to marry you.”
Lydia clasped her hands in front of her and faced their guest. “Because it’s his duty?”
“Liddy,” Harrison said, his voice filled with warning.
She ignored him. She was tired and frustrated and her nerves were stretched to the limit. The man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with had just walked away from her for the second time. Now, the Duke of Chisolmwood was explaining that his son would marry her ‘because it was his duty’ and she would marry him for the same reason. Well, she didn’t care a fig about duty.
She glared at the duke. “Perhaps,” she said louder than she intended, “I prefer to have a choice in selecting the man I’m to marry.”
“You don’t have a choice. You never did. Your year of mourning allowed you a postponement, not a reprieve.”
“Because my father signed some paper?”
“Yes. Because your father signed some paper. A legal agreement, signed by your father and witnessed by your brothers.”
Lydia’s gaze darted to Harrison, then to Austin. She couldn’t believe they’d had a hand in her betrayal. They both knew how much she and Gabriel loved each other. “How could you?”
“Oh, don’t blame them,” Chisolmwood said. “They had no more choice than your father.”
Her blood ran cold and she
took a step closer to the Duke of Chisolmwood. “What did you say that made my father sign your agreement?”
“Nothing, really. I simply gave him a choice he couldn’t refuse.”
“What choice?”
Chisolmwood’s brows arched and he looked toward Harrison, then back to her. “Your father didn’t tell you?”
Lydia couldn’t hide her surprise. “Tell me what?”
Chisolmwood smiled, then gave a bitter laugh. “He took our secret to his grave. How like him.”
“What secret was there between you and my father? And what choice did you give him?”
Chisolmwood hesitated, then answered her with a staggering degree of haughty confidence. “I gave him the choice of making you the Duchess of Chisolmwood, or, allowing you to marry a penniless major and bringing about the total ruination of himself and your brothers.”
Lydia swayed and Harrison’s arm was there to support her. “You threatened to ruin Father?”
She looked up and saw a dark, angry stain in Harrison’s eyes. Austin hadn’t moved from the center of the room but the glare in his eyes was even blacker than Harrison’s.
“And Gabriel? Is that why he told me he didn’t want to marry me?”
The room filled with a deadly silence as she looked from one brother to the other, then finally focused all her bitterness on the Duke of Chisolmwood. “Why is it so important that I marry your son?”
Chisolmwood took a regal step forward and breathed in a breath so huge it lifted his shoulders. “Because you were born to be a duchess.” He slashed his hand through the air. “Just as your mother was. Until he stole her from me.”
The hostility in Chisolmwood’s voice shocked her. She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out.
“You were in love with our mother?” Austin said.
“And she was in love with me! Until your father forced her to marry him!”
Lydia looked first at Harrison, then Austin. The shocked expressions on their faces told her Chisolmwood’s revelation was as complete a surprise to them as it was to her.
Lydia shook her head. The duke was mistaken. Her mother and father had been more in love than any two people she’d ever known. Obviously, though, Chisolmwood had never recovered from loving a woman he couldn’t have. “So you decided if you couldn’t have my mother, your son would have me?”
Heroes of Honor: Historical Romance Collection Page 73
