Groundborn
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A mere 31 years ago, Scott Moore was born into a small family in Odin, IL. Growing up he realized there was nothing special about his town or the people in it. Normalcy caused him to play a lot outside with his imagination, read hundreds of stories, and to write his own. At 22, Scott became a first-time father and raised his son as a single parent. He also decided to go back to school to help others who did not have a voice of their own. Scott graduated from the University of Illinois in 2015 with his BS degree in Psychology. Since then, he has worked with the developmentally disabled and helped them live their lives to the fullest. In 2018, Scott got engaged to a wonderful woman and inherited 2 children. Several months later, he found out that a 4th child would soon join the family. Now he is hoping to compound on that excitement by sharing his stories with the world. If you are interested in Fantasy such as Brandon Sanderson, Scott Lynch, or Brian McClellan then check out Scott Moore’s similar books!
To find out more about the author visit www.mishmashers.com
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Copyright© Scott Moore, 2019
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Epilogue
* * *
[CF1]Looking at this, it reads as if it should be a poem. Probably just two lines split between away and leaving.
Shrouded by darkness, light withered away
Leaving nothing but evil creatures to play.
[CF2]This should be traitorous, but since it’s in dialogue, I’m leaving it for you to decide in case it was a deliberate verbal choice.
[CF3]This is a rather difficult point. There is a lot of debate about whether or not fantasy races or species should be capitalized. My general thought is no, though there are a few exceptions to this. If the groundborn are from a specific location known as Groundborn, then it should be capitalized. If it’s a race within another species you should probably capitalize it (ie we capitalize races like African-American but don’t capitalize human). Let me know what you’d like to do here and I’ll go back and fix it up for you.
[CF4]You’ve got a bit of redundancy here. You don’t need to say something is both calm and steady as they have such similar meanings in this context.
[CF5]Same comment here as earlier on about the groundborn. This should probably be lower case.
[CF6]There is a bit of a redundancy in using both of these, however, since it’s dialogue, I’ll leave it to you. I’d suggest either little fun or bit of fun.
[CF7]Take another look at this sentence, it’s very awkward.
[CF8]Should be Hamms now that he’s been introduced.
[CF9]Should be Hamms.
[CF10]Should be get his new identity and leave. He already found the people.
[CF11]Again, given this is dialogue I’ll leave this to you. But I’d suggest removing either little or bit.