A Lady's Passion Knows No Distance: A Historical Regency Romance Book

by Henrietta Harding

  As Caroline laid there, she closed her eyes and thought of William. She’d confessed her feelings to Lord Murphy and felt a sense of relief that he hadn’t become angry with her like her father had.

  Though she hadn’t told the Earl the whole truth, she hoped her feelings for William would eventually turn into something of a reality. For now, they were just feelings. She wasn’t sure if she should act on them, or if William would return the same feelings with the intent of marrying her. She would simply have to wait until that time came.

  All Caroline knew for sure was that she couldn’t marry Lord Canton. Now that she had a dowry at her disposal, and her father’s title to consider, she knew she didn’t want a man like Lord Canton to lay claim to all her father had developed and built up.

  She would become someone more sought after once the public knew of her worth. Hopefully Lord Canton wouldn’t be able to chase off all her possible suitors once she broke their engagement.

  However, even though Caroline now had the confidence that she could marry someone better, she hoped her husband would one day be William.

  Chapter 22

  Caroline had expected the day to be dark, rainy, and perhaps a bit cold. With this being the day that she would say her final goodbyes to her parents, she found it odd that the weather didn’t reflect the bleakness of her mood. Instead, the sun shone brightly through her bedchamber windows, and the sound of songbirds could be heard flitting around the gardens. The air smelled of the familiar scent of town, and if she was correct, Cook was making something sweet.

  “It feels all so odd,” Caroline whispered to herself. Her lady’s maid had just stepped out of the room, having pinned Caroline’s hair into curls around her head so her black hat could sit nicely on her crown with a black veil covering her face. She wore a black gown made of dyed cotton.

  With the day likely to be warm, she’d chosen simple gowns for mourning that would be comfortable enough. She wasn’t sure just how long she’d be in mourning, but for now that was not her biggest concern. Instead, she worried about the crowd of people she was sure to face in mere hours.

  After a time, Caroline ventured downstairs to join the other members of the household as they made their way to the chapel for the funeral service, followed by the burying of her parents in the church’s cemetery. In her black-gloved hand, she held the handkerchief that William had given her.

  She knew she wouldn’t be able to get through this day without tears, and therefore had tried to come as prepared as possible. Having placed a few drops of peppermint oil on the handkerchief, Caroline was certain she would at least smell refreshing as she dried her eyes for what felt like the hundredth time.

  “Are you all set, my dear?” Lady Murphy asked as Caroline joined them at the foyer. Caroline nodded, knowing that if she dared to speak that she’d be overcome by tears once more. She dreaded the funeral but knew that it must happen and that it was important for her to say her goodbyes.

  The Murphy family had all decided to dress in clothing of a dark navy colour. Not quite blue, nor black. Somewhere in between, depending on how the sunlight shone upon the garments. They all gave Caroline tight smiles of comfort. After a moment longer, Lord Murphy nodded towards the butler for the door to be opened. Once done, he led everyone out of the house and towards the waiting carriage.

  No one said anything as they rode through town. Caroline looked at the scenery passing by the carriage windows, peering at the faces of those they passed by. All she could think was how she wished she could trade places with them so she didn’t have to face the reality of her parents being dead. It still hadn’t really settled in her mind that they were gone forever. It would likely take watching their pine caskets being placed in the ground for her to come to terms with it all.

  “You’re not alone in this,” Gwendolen spoke up, causing Caroline to look over at her dear friend. Caroline nodded, forcing a smile to her lips as she gripped the handkerchief in her hands. It was all she could do to not come to tears right then and there.

  “Thank you,” she said, barely a whisper. She battled back the tears in her eyes and focused on the passing scenery once more. It was only when the church came into view that her heart started to pound in her chest. She could already see a crowd gathering around, waiting for her to arrive so that she could enter the chapel first. It was such an unsettling thing to see that she wished the earth would just open up and swallow her whole, allowing her to pass quickly into the darkness and towards the afterlife.

  But alas, that did not happen. When the carriage door was opened, Lord Murphy alighted from the vehicle first to help the others down. Then, alone, Caroline made the trek up the church’s many stone stairs towards the open doors of the chapel. On the wind, she heard a soft melody being played from the organ. And as she made her way, the crowd parted before her like the Red Sea so that she could pass.

  As Caroline made her way through the crowd that had gathered, many dipped their heads and curtsied, mumbling words of condolences as she went. Lord Murphy escorted his wife by the arm, with Gwendolen following closely behind. When Caroline came to the open doors, she paused for a moment and simply looked inside the large building. At the end was the main part of the chapel where the priest stood, seeming to be waiting on her.

  Taking a deep breath, Caroline entered the church and made her way down the long aisle between the pews, her shoes making soft sounds against the marble floor. Two caskets were positioned in front of the altar, countless bouquets of flowers lining each one. As Caroline neared, she couldn’t help but go to them and rest her hands gently on top, the reality that her parents lay inside of them seeming to crash down upon her like a wave that never ended.

  It was then that she let the tears fall freely from her eyes, trying to keep her mouth shut as she fought off the sobs. With so many waiting to come into the church, she didn’t want to take long, nor cause too much of a scene. Though she reasoned that they would all expect her to be in tears, she didn’t want to completely lose herself to her sorrow.

  “Come and sit, my child. Rest your weary body in the house of the Lord. Take comfort in knowing that your parents are both in a better place, residing with our Savior in Heaven,” said the priest as he came up to Caroline and led a gentle hand on her shoulder.

  She lowered her hands from the caskets with a nod, allowing Gwendolen to come forth and lead her towards the first pew. Already the crowd was starting to flood the church, and it felt good to sit down and simply rest against the back of the pew.

  Caroline was so focused on the two caskets to her right that she didn’t realize someone had come to sit next to her until that person leaned forward and blocked her view of her parents. She looked into the eyes of Lord Canton, having to blink a few times to really focus on him.

  “I’m here for you, Caroline,” he said in a soft voice.

  “I wish to sit alone, thank you,” Caroline said, turning to her left to see that the Murphys were sitting just behind her.

  “As your fiancé, it is only proper that I accompany you. After all, we are soon to be family,” he said, a soft smile on his lips.

  “If you insist, then sit to my left. I don’t want anyone blocking my view,” Caroline said, her voice growing stern. She could tell Lord Canton did not like to be told what to do by the way his eyes narrowed at her. But eventually he stood and moved to her other side, allowing her to see her parents’ caskets once more. She thought it was rather nice how the flowers had been arranged around them, filling the chapel with their wonderful scent.

  When Lord Canton tried to rest his hand on hers, she pulled away, sliding further away from him on the pew. Now was not the time for displays of affection. She wanted to focus solely on the funeral and nothing more. After all, she had some choice words to say to the man when the moment was more appropriate. Thankfully, as the priest started the funeral, Lord Canton refrained from trying to comfort her any longer.

  Caroline didn’t really pay attention to what the priest
was saying. Something about righteousness and life eternal—it didn’t matter to Caroline in that moment. She was without her parents, yet close to their lifeless bodies. She had a hard time fathoming that they were in Heaven.

  Eventually, the time came for everyone to pay their last respects. Caroline rose first, walking on unsteady feet as she approached the caskets. Once more, she stood between them, resting her hands on either one as she closed her eyes and said her final goodbyes. She could feel the sobs rising up in her chest once more and she forced her hands into fists to keep them at bay.

  “I’ll never forget you. For as long as I shall live, I shall remember the things you have taught me. I love you both so dearly and shall miss you forever more,” Caroline whispered as tears streamed down her face.

  After a time, when her body felt too heavy to keep upright any longer, she lowered her hands from the caskets and began to wipe her tears away before returning to her place on the pew. When Lord Canton tried to approach her, she raised a hand, warning him to stay away as others began to come forward to pay their last respects and to offer her words of comfort.

  “She seems so distant,” came the whisperings of an older woman in the line of well-wishers. Caroline didn’t dare turn her attention towards the speaker, or they would know they had been heard. Though the church hummed with soft whispers and talk, the melody from the organ rang above all. It no doubt made people think they weren’t speaking as loud as they were.

  “You’d think she’d be in Lord Canton’s arms, being comforted by her fiancé,” said another.

  “Grief can do terrible things to one so young,” said the first.

  “Or do you think that something else is going on?”

  It was the one thing that Caroline hated most about the Ton. Gossip seemed to run rampant, and not even at a funeral was one willing to hold their tongue. But this time, it did not bother Caroline at all. She was already too upset to care about any matters of gossip. And when it came to her current engagement, she did not think much about it, either. It was the very least of her concerns.

  When it came time for her parents to be buried, Caroline stood slowly, wishing she had some sort of cane to support herself with. She felt awfully weak as a result of all the sorrow and grief that was coursing through her body. Lord Canton came near, offering his arm to her, but she shooed him away. Mustering up the last of her strength, Caroline straightened her posture before leading the procession from the church to the cemetery.

  The priest walked ahead of her, swinging the ball of incense before him as she was shown where the graves had been dug. There, Caroline stared down into the two empty pits, thinking it was all rather morbid and dark.

  Once more, Lord Canton came to stand beside her. How she wished she could just be alone and have solace with her parents before they were put down into their resting places. He stood rather close to her, even daring to place an arm around her shoulders in comfort.

  “Please remove your hand from me,” she said quickly, her voice broken and cracking as she spoke.

  “People are going to start speculating if I don’t show you my affection in your time of grief,” he whispered.

  “Do you honestly think I care?” Caroline asked, looking up at him with cold eyes through her veil. He seemed to finally understand her perspective as he lowered his arm and created a bit of space between them. However, as the crowd surrounded them with the Murphys close by, Lord Canton never stepped away.

  Eventually, gentlemen brought forth the caskets and lowered them slowly into the ground while the priest said their final rites. It was a sickening feeling for Caroline to see them being deposited below. She wanted to do something, to turn back time and prevent this horrible event from happening. But she felt utterly helpless as she simply stood and watched, holding the handkerchief to her mouth and inhaling the peppermint scent to hopefully settle her nerves.

  As the dirt was piled onto the caskets, covering the flowers and the pine boxes, people started to turn away and finally leave the cemetery. Caroline realized that the funeral was over, and all that was left was for the graves to be filled in by the cemetery caretakers.

  The priest came and gave Caroline a blessing before moving back inside the church. It took a while, but eventually Caroline turned from the graves, expecting to leave the cemetery with the Murphys.

  However, as she turned, she spotted William standing towards the back of the cemetery, making way for the crowd to leave. He was watching her closely, and she realized how much she wanted to be comforted by him.

  Since the Murphys had made their way from the cemetery and back through the church to the carriage, Caroline knew she had a little bit of time. No one would expect her to leave any time soon, and it seemed all but Lord Canton was giving her the space she needed.

  Not caring if her fiancé followed her, Caroline slowly made her way over to William. She saw that his eyes never left her as she walked over to him, and as she neared, she could tell that he had also shed tears that day.

  “My deepest condolences, Miss Caroline,” William said as he bowed lowly.

  “Thank you, Sir Roberts. It was kind of you to attend the funeral as well,” Caroline replied. She looked at William and thought how handsome he looked in his fine suit. Wealth suited him and she was truly happy for him and all that he was able to accomplish.

  “Thank you for attending, Sir Roberts. But you should really be going now,” Lord Canton spoke up. It caught Caroline off-guard that he would be so forward and rude to William. She looked up at him, clearly offended by his words.

  “I should say the same for you, Lord Canton. Be gone with you and leave me in peace,” Caroline was quick to say.

  “You have no right to talk to me in such a manner,” Lord Canton said, his face turning a bright shade of red.

  “And you have no right to remain so close to me when I am grieving,” she retorted.

  “Please, Lord Canton. Perhaps it is best that you let Miss Caroline be for a time,” William spoke up.

  “This is none of your business,” Lord Canton snapped at William, his voice raising in volume. Caroline began to fear that he would cause some sort of scene if he continued on in such a manner. After all, there were plenty of people still remaining in the cemetery and nearby in the church.

  “It is my business when I see a young lady in distress,” William countered, speaking slowly and calmly.

  “Of course, she’s distressed. It’s a funeral, after all,” Lord Canton said in mockery. “But I am the one who should be comforting her. Not you.”

  “You are causing more grief than good,” Caroline said then. “I plead with you to please leave me alone.”

  “Not while he’s still here,” Lord Canton said, pointing a finger at William. Caroline’s eyes darted past Lord Canton, seeing how others had stopped to see what all the commotion was about.

  “Lord Canton, I hereby release you from our engagement. If you can’t respect my wishes, then I cannot respect you as a husband,” Caroline said, raising her chin and trying to straighten her posture to appear more opposing. Lord Canton was clearly shocked as his eyes widened.

  “You can’t be serious. Surely you speak only because you are so grieved,” he said, stepping up to Caroline and trying to take her hands in his. But she moved away from him, refusing to allow him to touch her.

  “I am quite serious and have made up my mind. I don’t care what people will say or think about me. I will not allow myself to marry such an overbearing man,” Caroline spat, her body suddenly filling with a kind of anger she had never known before. Having known sadness for the last few days, it was a welcomed new feeling.

  Lord Canton shook his head, this time pointing a finger at her. “You’ll regret saying such words to me, Caroline. I’m a very powerful man and I always get what I want,” he seethed.

  “Your threats are of no use, Lord Canton. You’ve already taken away the love of my life, and now my parents are dead. What more could you possibly do?” Car
oline told him, her anger clear on her lips.