The Cruel and Beautiful Series Boxset

by A. M. Hargrove

  We stare at each other as if we were at a standoff, and maybe we are.

  “You hurt me,” she whispers.

  I want to reach out to her.

  “I never meant to hurt you. I thought I was doing what was best at the time. You can’t imagine how miserable I’ve been without him, without you.”

  “He has,” Kym says, coming to stand next to me. “He’s like a robot.”

  I glare at Kym, feeling slightly betrayed she doesn’t have my back.

  “A great robot, but a robot. He goes to work. He comes home. He takes care of his mother and me, rinse, and repeat.” She twirls a finger in the air.

  “Apparently, not only did I fail as a brother, I’m failing at everything else.” I toss up my hands, ready to walk away. I just need some air.

  Kym’s next words break the stalemate. On a sob, she says, “You guys can have what I’ll never have with Braedon. Don’t let pride and stubbornness keep the two of you apart.”

  She stalks away, and I open my eyes to see Jenna watching Kym’s retreat.

  “Jenna,” I blurt her name, hoping she’ll understand what words can’t.

  “Don’t,” she says, moving forward.

  Then she’s on her toes pressing her lips to mine. I circle my arm around her waist because it’s the first time since she fled my house I can truly breathe.

  When she pulls back, I say, “I’m sorry. I’m stupid.”

  “No, I am.”

  Then we are kissing. It feels like heaven finally shines a light on me. Maybe it has. Maybe Braedon wouldn’t have said go get laid. More likely he would have told me to go get my girl.

  “I love you, Jenna.”

  Clapping breaks us apart. Mom comes over, but she doesn’t take me in a hug, it’s Jenna. She whispers something, then pulls back.

  Her face flames red as Mom steps back.

  “Jenna, this is my dad, Cole.”

  “Nice to meet you. So you’re the one.”

  I glare at him, not wanting him to repeat what we’ve talked about. And it’s weird to think that through this tragedy, I’ve gotten closer to my parents.

  “Anyway, I’ve only heard great things.”

  They all drift away, giving us a few more minutes. I’m not sure what to say.

  “Can I call you?”

  She nods. “You better or that’s it.” She laughs though while saying it.

  “I’ve missed you so damn much,” I admit.

  “After I called you a few choice names and calmed down, I missed you, too.”

  “Am I forgiven?”

  Her smile gives me hope. “Why don’t we agree to forgive each other? In fact, you should come to Sunday dinner.”

  “What?”

  She nods. “I told you, my family wants to meet you. Well, I’m not talking to my mother, but everyone else would love to meet you.”

  I lean in and give her a kiss while pulling her close. “Sunday dinner it is.”

  Twenty-Nine

  JENNA

  TWENTY-NINE

  Jenna

  Brandon pulls his Harley to a stop and cuts the engine. We both dismount and remove our helmets. I’m really breaking tradition today, as I glance down at what I’m wearing. Jeans at Sunday dinner isn’t what Mom would exactly be thrilled about. But I don’t give a damn. She still owes me a huge apology, and until I get one from her, she can shove her little rules where the sun doesn’t shine.

  “You sure about this?” I ask Brandon.

  “Yep. I’m as ready as ever.”

  “But my mom.” I look up at the imposing structure of the house.

  Brandon shrugs. “She doesn’t scare me. I just lost one of the most important people in my life.” Then he looks at me and says, “I have my priorities lined up. I’m not going to let her opinion of me ruin anything. Come on.” He holds out his hand and up the steps we go.

  When I open the door and we step into the foyer, my dad is already walking toward us. “Jenna, baby.” His arms wrap me in a hug. “I am so happy you came. We’ve missed you these past Sundays, and I know Betty can’t wait to see you.” Then he turns to Brandon and holds out his hand. “Brandon, it’s great to see you again. And under better circumstances.” Then he shocks the hell out of me when he leans in and mutters, “And thank God she’s wearing something a hell of a lot more flattering today, huh?” He winks.

  Brandon chuckles, and I say, “Dad! You just had to bring that up, didn’t you?”

  “Oh, yeah.”

  “But you can’t blame me for that horrid dress. It was not my choice.”

  “Thank God,” Dad says, laughing. “Now, come on. I know Betty is just dying to see you.”

  He walks us past Mom’s famous parlor, but I stop him. “Where’s Mom?”

  “Where do you think?”

  The door to her special room is closed. Deciding to take the higher road, I move toward it.

  “Jenna?” Dad asks.

  “Might as well move on. Come on, Brandon. I want to introduce you to my mom.”

  Dad only shakes his head.

  Opening the door, I don’t hesitate for the slightest second, but move straight over to my mom. This time, however, I don’t bother with the customary lowering of myself for the kiss on the cheek. I walk with assuredness to stand directly in front of her, and in a neutral tone say, “Hi, Mom, I believe you’ve already met Brandon, my boyfriend.”

  She sets down the book she was reading on the settee, and says, “Yes, I believe we have.” It’s not a warm greeting at all, but I wasn’t expecting one.

  Brandon, on the other hand, gives her a smile that would melt the polar ice cap and says, “Brandon Connelly, ma’am, and it’s a pleasure to see you again.”

  When she takes in the whole picture of him, from his jeans to his tattoos, her upper lip curls, and she says in a haughty tone, “Well, Barton, it’s good to see you.”

  “Mom, it’s Brandon.”

  “Yes, Bradley.”

  Before I can utter another word, Dad marches over to Mom and says, “Julia,” in a tone warning her to be nice, I suppose.

  Her gaze bounces between Dad and me. Maybe she’s too embarrassed to look at Brandon. Who knows?

  Since this is becoming a little too heated and uncomfortable, I steer Brandon out of the room and down the hallway. Besides, I’m sure Dad would rather have this conversation without an audience, not to mention, it’s more than a little embarrassing for me to have Brandon in the middle of that argument. “Well! That was fun!”

  He starts to say something, when I hear, “Miss Jenna! Oh my goodness, aren’t you a sight for this old woman?”

  Laughing, I run into Betty’s open arms and say, “You aren’t even close to being old. But boy, is it good to see you. I’ve missed you, Betty.”

  “And who is this fine young man you brought with you?” Her smile is so wide it almost stretches clear across her face.

  “This is Brandon. My real boyfriend.”

  Betty stands back, still smiling, and says, “Well, I’ll be. You sure picked a fine one, yes, you did.”

  “I think so.” I grab Brandon’s arm, dragging him closer to Betty. “Brandon, this is Betty, and wait until you taste Betty’s cooking. You’ll think you died and went to heaven.”

  He shakes her hand, and she says, “Oh, hush, you. Now, tell me. What did your mama have to say about all this?”

  “We left. She and Dad started to have a discussion. Well, Dad’s giving her up the road, you know?”

  “Oh, Lordy. Mr. Martin sure must have a bee in his bonnet to go after her again. Whew. I thought I’d seen the end of it that day you left that other boy at the altar—and thank God you finally came to your senses there. Mr. Martin, he sure was mad at her. I’d never heard him so much as raise his voice at Ms. Julia, but I was sure the windows were going to explode that day.”

  “I think he’s had enough of her arrogance and her acting as though she’s better than others. Dad wasn’t raised like that, and she wasn’t eith
er. So he’s putting his foot down.”

  “You know, Jenna, this is something new for her in the last couple of years. I think it’s that silly garden club she joined. She never was like that until she got involved with that nasty bunch of women.”

  Interesting. I didn’t know she’d joined a garden club. I wonder if Dad knows.

  “Maybe Dad can talk some sense into her. Anyway, we’re excited to eat one of your spectacular meals.”

  Brandon, who hasn’t said anything, probably because the conversation has centered on my mom, says, “Yes, Jenna has been bragging about your cooking. I can’t tell you how much I am looking forward to this.”

  Betty preens. If one thing gets to her, it’s compliments about her culinary talents. “Well, I hope I live up to your expectations.”

  Ben and Sam show up a little while later, and we head to the terrace to hang out.

  My brother says to Brandon, “It’s about time we get to spend some time with the guy who Jenna’s so crazy about.”

  “Ben!” I say. “Jeez, can’t you be a little more subtle?”

  Brandon grabs my hand and says, “I’m glad he’s blunt. And it’s great to finally spend time with you all, too. Jenna talks about the two of you a lot.”

  “Not nearly as much as she talks about you, I’ll bet,” Ben says.

  “Ben,” Sam scolds him. “Were you always such a tattletale?”

  “Yes, he was,” I say.

  Brandon laughs. “My little brother …” He goes silent.

  “Hey, I totally understand,” Ben says. “I’m so sorry for your loss. If you ever need anything, and I mean anything, please call me.” Then Ben turns my way and says, “Make sure your guy has my number. I’m serious.”

  “Thanks, man,” Brandon says. “It’s been pretty damn hard, I have to say.”

  “I know. Don’t try to get through this on your own. It doesn’t work. Trust me on this,” Ben says. “I don’t know much about things, except maybe investments, but I know way more than my share about losing someone. Ask them if you don’t believe me.”

  “No, I believe you. And I’m sure I’ll take you up on your offer at some point.”

  “So tell me about your business. My sister says you handle all kinds of imports. And don’t take this question as me being insensitive to your brother. I thought maybe you’d appreciate a change in subject.”

  My brother sure gets it. Brandon smiles, only a slight one, but it’s a smile nonetheless. Then he launches off on the topic of what he handles, and everything is better momentarily.

  Soon, Betty informs us that dinner is ready, and she doesn’t disappoint. The food is spectacular. As we eat, Mom barely says a word, and she sits there like a child who’s been disciplined by her father. Dad is more quiet than usual, but much more conversational than Mom.

  Brandon, Ben, and Sam talk as though they’ve been friends for a long time. Ben asks him about cars, and Brandon asks Ben about investments. Sam chimes in every now and then with comments here and there. Sitting back, I observe them as my body nearly glows with warmth. I catch Dad’s eyes on me, and he nods. If only Mom could see what she’s missing, all would be right in the Rhoades’ household.

  Betty enters the dining room and announces that Kenneth is here and would like a moment to speak to all of us. An awkward hush blankets the room as he walks in.

  “I hope I didn’t interrupt your dinner and that everyone is through eating,” he begins. We all nod. “I chose this time to visit because I knew you all would be here. I had to come by and say, especially to you Mrs. Rhoades, because I know how much you pressured Jenna into marrying me, that she was right to call it off. It would never have lasted. We … I mean, I am not exactly the marrying kind. It wasn’t fair of me, and that day I came here for dinner, I actually came to say I was the one who called off the engagement. Not Jenna. I was wrong to have allowed it to continue. I’m sorry, Jenna, because I know how much difficulty it’s caused you. Thanks for leaving me at the altar that day.” He laughs nervously. “Even though it was a bit painful, it was a lot better than going through a divorce, I would imagine. Anyway, I apologize for interrupting.” He walks out.

  But I have to ask him something, so I run after him.

  “Kenneth, wait.” He’s standing at the front door by the time I catch him.

  “What is it, Jenna?”

  “First, you’re lucky you caught me here. This is the first Sunday dinner I’ve been to since… well, since the last one you came to.” I let out an awkward chuckle. “Your parents. Do they know?”

  He bows his head and says, “Uh, yeah.” Then he looks at me. “After you left, and it was announced the wedding was cancelled, I figured what the hell. May as well do it then. So I gathered both of them up and took them into one of the bathrooms and spilled my big secret. My father nearly had a fit, but my mother said she’d figured it out years ago and wondered how I was going to pull off the marriage.”

  “Jesus. How’s your father dealing with it?”

  Kenneth shrugs. “He’s not. But I have Mom to cool his jets. She keeps telling me he’ll get over it. It’s not exactly ideal, and I’m in the job market because there’s no way I can continue to work with him, but if I’m honest with myself, I wasn’t happy there anyway.”

  “And Horace?” I ask.

  “What about him?”

  “Are you still together?”

  “Oh, we never were together, together.” He used his fingers for air quotes on that. “He’s engaged, but we still see each other.”

  That is too weird for me to wrap my brain around, so I don’t even try. “Can he help with finding you a job?”

  Kenneth laughs. “Probably, but I want to do something on my own, for once in my life. With my law degree, I’m fairly confident I can find something either here or in D.C. I can practice in both places.”

  Smiling, I say, “Good luck. I hope you find your dream job.”

  “Thanks,” he says with a grin. “And good luck with your guy.”

  He reaches for the door, but I stop him again. “Kenneth?”

  “Yes?”

  “Thanks for stopping by.”

  “You’re welcome. You know, I really do love you.”

  “Yeah, I do know.”

  I watch him leave.

  A voice I’ll always recognize says to me from over my shoulder, “That was very admirable of him, not to mention quite ballsy.”

  “Yeah, I agree. I didn’t pay attention to Mom when he was speaking, did you?”

  “Nah, I was solely focused on you.”

  “Hmm. You were?”

  “Yeah. Just making sure you still want me.”

  I put my arms around his neck and stand on my tiptoes. “You bet I do.” Then I touch my lips to his. “Guess we need to get back in there before they think we’ve left.”

  Brandon agrees, and we walk hand-in-hand back into the dining room. As we take our seats, my mom drops the second bomb in as many as five minutes.

  “Jenna, I owe you an apology. I was wrong. I’m sorry.”

  I nod but don’t say anything. It took Kenneth coming here to get her to say that. The fact that she lied to me had nothing to do with her shallow apology. I’m not sure I’ll ever be on good terms with her again.

  Normally, the guys would head off to the terrace and have cigars—one of Dad’s favorite things to do. But not today. I think Dad wants to have some words with Mom. Instead, we all say our goodbyes and head our own ways. Brandon and I get on his Harley and head to his house. When we arrive, he says, “Let me take you somewhere,” and we get into his truck.

  Thirty

  BRANDON

  When she takes my offered hand, I use my other to put the truck into gear. Immediately, I head for the bridge. She’ll understand where I’m going once we cross it. However, she says nothing.

  My heart is full, yet so empty. I’ve gained the one I love and lost my only brother. The taste is so bittersweet, I feel the burn in the back of my eyes.
>
  I park in almost the same spot I’d been that day that feels a million years ago. Dipping my head, I take a moment to compose myself. Gentle pressure grips my hand before she presses the most heartbreaking kiss on my cheek.

  I’ve waited too long to confront the demons that haunt my nightmares. It’s my girl who gets out of the car and walks around to open mine. With her at my side, I can do this.

  After the sound of the door closes, we are left with the noise of the waves crashing on the shore. What should have been comforting stabs my chest with piercing pain.

  Our feet sink into the sand as we make our way toward the lapping water.

  “Will it ever stop hurting?”

  I only ask because I know she’s been there.

  She stops and forces me to face her. “It will always hurt, but it will get easier with time.” My expression fills with disbelief makes her soldier on. Pressing her hand flat over my heart, she adds, “Where it hurts the most is also the place where he will live on through you.”

  “You make it sound so easy. Every day is a struggle. Sometimes I wonder if not for Kym needing my help, I wouldn’t have anything to hang on for.”

  As I speak, I remove her hand and press a kiss to the vulnerable flesh where her palm meets her arm.

  Not letting go, she pulls my hand toward her lips and presses them to my knuckles.

  “You have me, and we’ll get through this together. A wise woman I know told my brother that there isn’t a time limit on grief. You don’t have to do it alone.”

  As the gray sky kicks up the breeze, the ocean sprays us lightly as if to remind us of its presence.

  “How could I possibly deserve you? I may have been the older brother, but he had this world figured out more than I do.”

  “What I know about your brother is he would want you to be happy.”

  She’s right; it’s just hard to accept. I face my nemesis and walk toward the water. Her strength helps me forgive nature’s most wondrous creation from claiming my brother as its own.

  As I stare out into the churning sea, I let my mind remember all the times I saw my brother on the river not far from here. Times he swam in the pool also fill my head. The important thing I tell myself as those visions play out in my head is the smile he wore every time he was on, in, or near the water. It’s as if fate called him home using his love to take him there.