The Atua Man

by John Stephenson

  Lillian sat at the counter, mindlessly watching Irma and trying to make sense of the news that was on television when her attention was drawn to the back door and the blood drained from her face.

  Irma reacted to Lillian and stopped scrambling the eggs. “Come now, missus, this is my job, you know,” she said, thinking Lillian was somehow displeased with her.

  Lillian saw Jason St. John, her beloved husband, his long blondish hair disheveled as if he had just stepped out of a strong wind, materialize a few paces behind Irma. He stepped out of a pale blue light like he was emerging from a cocoon! He motioned for Lillian to be quiet. His face was flushed, his clothes clung to his slender, thirty-nine-year-old body like iron to a magnet, and he stood there for a moment letting the energy drain from him, like it would after surfing an exceptional wave. Reaching back, he opened the door to make it look like he had entered normally.

  Alex came running back into the room just as his father pretended to close the kitchen door. He had seen the last remnants of a crystal-like aura dissolve around his father’s body. “Sick!”

  “Are there enough eggs for me?” Jason asked.

  Startled, Irma turned around. “Isn’t that a bit childish for a grown man to sneak up on an old lady like that?”

  “Dad, how did you do that?” Alex said, running up to him.

  Lillian slipped by Irma and ushered Jason and Alex out of the kitchen. “What the hell is going on?” she whispered.

  “That was awesome!” Alex exclaimed.

  “Okay. Okay. Sorry I startled you. Family meeting in ten minutes; I’ve got to take a shower.”

  “I think I ruined the eggs,” Irma said, watching the family retreat. She dumped them in the sink and began to put away the groceries, whistling again tunelessly.

  “Here’s what I think,” Melanie announced to the rest of the board. “That girl thought she saw Jason. Maybe she thought of him before she went to sleep and dreamed he was there. It could have been Jesus Christ or some saint.”

  “That’s our angle,” injected Barbara. “Since there’s no video record of Jason being at the hospital, we’ll credit him for the healing but not for being there.”

  “I didn’t know we were keeping score in the healing department,” Dorothy said dryly, taking her seat.

  Ignoring her, Barbara continued, “I just want to understand this because if I get it, everyone else will. That girl saw an apparition, and her belief in Jason’s power to heal had a positive result. It’s no different than if someone saw an image of the Virgin Mary in a moment of illumination and everyone with that person was healed. People will understand that, even if they don’t necessarily believe it.”

  Barbara looked at each board member for a response. Dorothy and Melanie shook their heads.

  “Why do we need to say anything?” Dorothy interjected. “We’ll never control world opinion about Jason so why try?”

  “You’re losing me here, Barbara,” Melanie said, talking over Dorothy. “Apparitions are just someone’s fantasy. They aren’t real. Jason can heal. That’s real. I’ve seen it. But this other crap… I don’t know. We’re a foundation, not a religion.”

  “You’re wrong, Melanie,” Tony said. “People look to us for a lot more than healing. They want principles to live by. They want guidance. They want to believe that there is more to life than mundane human existence.”

  “You need to reread our charter,” Melanie insisted. She got up, walked around the table, stretching her legs. She was formidable presence. “Tony, we are here to explore the mystical nature of reality. We are more scientists than theologians, and I’m very skeptical of secondhand information.”

  “Then we need to find out if in fact Jason is remotely healing or manifesting himself through thin air. If he is doing either of these things, we need to stop him,” Tony emphasized.

  “How?” Melanie asked.

  “You let me handle that.”

  “We will be voting on everything you intend to do,” Melanie insisted.

  “What we need,” Barbara said, “is for Jason to go on television and explain to the world what happened. People trust him. He can put this whole incident in terms that reflect current popular thinking.”

  “That’s good, Barbara.” Melanie agreed; “Jason could go on television and make what the girl saw a point of discussion about what constitutes reality. Isn’t that our main question?”

  “That is a dangerous idea, Melanie.” Tony wanted to squash it before it took hold. “First of all, for Mr. St. John to go out into the public at this time could endanger his life.”

  “That’s a fact.” Gary rarely said anything at the board meetings but had to now. “He has a lot of enemies and I don’t have the resources to guarantee his safety in public.”

  “I like Melanie’s idea,” Barbara said. “Jason wouldn’t be going out in public. We could film it right here and broadcast it live. We’d gain a huge audience and I’m sure Jason can explain what those girls saw with a lot more authority than any of us could.”

  “I move that we organize a televised symposium with Jason and the heads of the Anglican, Catholic, Jewish, and Muslim communities to discuss apparitions—their meaning and historical relevance,” Melanie said.

  Barbara seconded the motion. “What about some scientists?”

  “I doubt they’d come; they don’t mix well with religious leaders,” Gary remarked.

  “We need a quantum physicist, someone like Alain Aspect.” Melanie ignored Gary’s opinion.

  “This is a bad idea,” Tony warned. “If I call a vote and you two prevail, this ministry will implode.”

  “You must call for a vote, Tony. It’s been moved and seconded,” Dorothy said.

  “Obviously, Mr. St. John will have to agree,” Barbara stated.

  Tony called the vote and the motion for the televised symposium passed with Dorothy, Barbara, and Melanie voting for it and Tony and Gary against.

  Jason, his hair still wet from the shower, walked into the kitchen and sat across from Lillian and Alex at the country table. He wore his favorite sweats—long sleeves as always, and his shoulder length hair soaked his sweatshirt. Lillian had sent Irma home and was on her third latte. They all stared at each other not knowing what to think or where to begin.

  “What can I say? I’ve been having these experiences for a few months now when I get up to meditate. They scare me, but something keeps pushing me to go further. I don’t really understand it, and I’m not sure I can stop, having gone this far.” Jason sat up straight, closed his eyes, and rested his hands lightly on top of the table. “Indian fakirs have been practicing this for centuries.”

  The room grew extremely quiet and Lillian closed her eyes too. Alex, knowing the drill when his parents meditated, sat up straight and tried to let his mind grow still. He attempted to find the spaces between his thoughts but failed. His mind was running too fast.

  But Jason wasn’t meditating. “Don’t close your eyes,” he said.

  Alex and Lillian opened their eyes. They watched Jason’s hands and arms slowly slipped through the table onto his lap.

  “That is so unreal!” Alex shouted.

  “This scares the shit out of me, Jason.”

  Jason and Alex looked at each other and started to laugh. Lillian never cussed. But her fear was palpable, so father and son stopped short.

  “I mean this will shatter everyone’s concept of reality.”

  “Is that so bad?” Jason understood Lillian’s reaction. “Even in the physical world there is more space than matter in what we see and feel. This first happened about six months ago. I was so at one in the Spirit that I opened my eyes to see if the world was still there and I noticed that my arms had blended in with the chair. Then a gentle voice said to me, just like in scripture, ‘Fear not.’ So, I just observed my situation and when I felt myself completely here, I lifted my arms out of the chair and everything was normal.”

  “It’s horrible. Don’t you see what will happen? Ton
y Bass is already wanting to dominate and control you.”

  “Did you really heal those girls?” Alex asked his father.

  “Not like you think, Alex. Our ministry is about revealing the essential nature of life, and when that is experienced …”

  “For God’s sake, J.J., get serious. This is not the time for a lecture.”

  “Do you have magical powers?” Alex asked.

  “Last night was the first time I’ve actually gone anywhere. Before that it was just like I showed you.”

  “Jason! Enough! Now let’s get practical about this. You can’t tell anyone on the board.”

  “I thought Dorothy should know.”

  “Absolutely not! Jason, you don’t realize how dangerous this is. Put the brakes on your impulses and think this through. Think about us. You already have half the world thinking you’re Satan, so please …”

  Alex looked lovingly at his dad. “That’s no big deal.”

  “I would think that you would want to keep this secret,” Lillian said.

  “I don’t know. I can’t stop, Lillian. Whatever it is that is giving me these experiences won’t let me go back. When a new reality is realized, it can’t be undone. And if I can experience it fully, I can teach others to do the same.”

  “What if they don’t want to go there?”

  “Dad, can you teach me?”

  “Alex, I don’t want you to tell anyone what you saw,” Lillian ordered.

  “Mom …”

  “I’m serious. Tell no one! This is the biggest secret you’ll ever have to keep.”

  “Irma saw it.”

  “She did not, and you didn’t either.”

  “I did, too! I saw that blue stuff around Dad and he pretending to come in the back door. And we just saw what Dad did!”

  “Your mom is right, Alex. If you mention this to any of your friends, they’ll think you’re nuts.”

  “Most of my friends already think you’re a freak.”

  “I’m sorry,” Jason reached across the table and took his son’s hand. Alex couldn’t look his dad in the eyes. Jason was his hero and he didn’t mean to make him feel bad. But it was true.

  “Okay, here’s what happens, Alex. I don’t disappear. When I’m in that invisible state I’m pure energy. There are laws of attraction in this world, and when I have no physical limitations I go where I’m needed. At least that’s my current rationale. I think there must be some receptivity to Spirit to draw me, some longing for peace. And love. Love always brings me back to you.”

  Lillian burst into tears and reached for Jason. “This whole idea of moving in and out of the material world like some kind of ghost challenges everything I believe. Is it spiritual? How can it further human understanding?”

  Alex pulled his hands away from his father and moved closer to his mother.

  Jason looked across the table at Lillian and Alex, their anxious faces wanting answers. “You need to understand this, please, both of you. I’m drawn into that energy as naturally as being drawn into the ocean. But like I said, I can’t resist it. After you’ve surfed your first wave, it’s hard not to ride another and another. If I could take the two of you along I would. It’s the ultimate freedom. I’d love to teach you how to do it, Alex, but I’m not sure how it’s done. I’m still a beginner. What I do know is that we all have an incorporeal body that is not restricted by time and space. I can be anywhere, not as a ghost, but as me. Those girls saw me at the hospital.”

  “Then you were at Marsdan,” Lillian stated. “When?”

  “About two or three in the morning, I guess.”

  “And how long were you there?”

  “I don’t know. Time isn’t a factor.”

  “A minute? An hour?”

  “Maybe a minute. Otherwise I’d have been there when the nurses came in.”

  “So where were you the rest of the night?”

  Jason didn’t want to tell her the deepest part of his experience. He thought of explaining the time factor with an analogy of space. One minute in another dimension could be like hours on Earth. But his wife and son, the dearest things in the world to him, needed the truth, even if it might upset them.

  “Lillian, do you remember that dream you had a few nights ago where you said that you were with Dr. Green?”

  Lillian got up and made another latte. She had told Jason that she had dreamed of Dr. Green, but that was all. Why would he bring that up?

  “I don’t think that was a dream,” he continued. “I went there. I entered this wonderful room, filled with light, and all these people were milling about the edges. In the center was a circle of people sitting on simple stools. I was invited to sit in the circle. The Presence was indescribable. If beauty could be put into words, that’s what I felt. And Dr. Green was in the circle. And you were there too.” He hesitated a moment and then continued, “There is a greater purpose to us being together than we know. All of us.”

  Lillian sat back down at the table. Jason had described her dream perfectly, but she didn’t want to give his actions any credibility—not with Alex present. What if she, too, had entered this other dimension, but thought it was only a dream? What if something had happened to both her and Jason in that dimension, leaving Alex alone? “We’ve all got to be in this together,” she said.

  Tears streamed down Jason’s face as he got up and embraced his family. “You two are what I love most in this life and I would never want to leave you alone. I don’t know where this new—whatever you want to call it—will take me, but I’ll never hide it from you. We are together; we’ll always be together. But I agree. We have to keep this secret. Alex, you’re as much a part of this adventure as your mother and me.”

  Alex nodded. He’d never felt so close to his parents as at that moment, but he didn’t want to cry even though tears filled his eyes.

  “I want to call Dave. He’s the only one we can trust,” Lillian abruptly brought them back to the problem at hand.

  Jason looked at his wife, weighing her suggestion. Jason and David grew up together. David knew all there was to know about Jason. He’d seen him do things no one else had seen, and when Jason and David Walker went their separate ways, all those who had wanted to exploit what David knew about Jason got nothing. “Okay, if you can get him to come, he’ll be our buffer between what we are doing and the rest of the world.”

  They all sat there for a moment, and then Jason got up. “Let’s keep our routine as normal as possible.” He looked at his watch. “Looks like I missed the board meeting. What about you? What about school?”

  “I told Donny that Alex would be late today when you were in the shower.”

  “I don’t want to go to school today.”

  “It would be better if you did, Alex,” Jason said. “What class would you be in if you left now?”

  “History, I guess.”

  “Well, get ready,” he told his son; then to Lillian, “What time is it in Hawaii?”

  “Ten hours difference. It’s still last night there.”

  Jason turned to his wife. “Are you sure you want to bring David back into the mix?”

  “Positive!”

  Chapter 2

  Honolulu, Hawaii

  Monday Night, November 2004

  David Walker ignored the phone and let the call go to his answer machine. He and his friends were in the middle of a passionate discussion about cultural colonization. The group was mixed; two couples were in interracial marriages, one couple was only a few years in the islands from the East Coast, and David’s girlfriend was a native Hawaiian. The question they were discussing: Was it culturally proper for someone to make art using another culture’s icons? What if you have adopted a culture, chosen to live and participate in it, follow its customs, enjoy its food, are you a thief if you expressed your art as a native when you are a different race?

  The phone kept ringing. Finally, David excused himself and answered it. When he heard Lillian’s voice he tensed. “Lillian, what’s wrong?
”

  Lillian tried to keep the panic from her voice. She had not talked to David for seven years, ever since he had walked out on the ministry when Jason brought in Tony.

  “Well,” she said nervously, “we have a rather desperate situation here and I couldn’t wait any longer to ring.”

  “What happened? Is Alex alright?”

  “Alex misses you so much. Can’t you just pop over to London? Right away?”

  “You’re not making any sense.” David’s concern turned to fear. “Did J.J. put you up to this?”

  His feelings were mixed. This had happened before. Twice. And every time Jason called, it threw David’s life into chaos.

  “Dave, this is serious. Jason wants you to come. We’re in a bit of a desperate situation and you’re the only one we can trust. Here, I’ll put J.J. on the line.”

  David waited.

  “Hey, buddy.” The familiar voice, the confidence, and the presence that demanded one to follow was still there in those two words. There was no sense of elapsed time; they picked up as if they’d never been apart. David loved the man. Jason was the greatest friend and teacher he’d ever known; yet in the past, every one of Jason’s calls had brought pain and conflict. Jason had turned David’s life upside down before, and David didn’t want to be sucked back into Jason’s world again, not after seven years of peace.

  “Davy? You there?”

  “Hi J.J.” David’s mouth was suddenly very dry. “Your timing is always impeccable. I have a house full of guests.”

  “Solving the problems of the world, no doubt. I wish I could be there with you at this moment.”

  “Fly on over. I hear you have a new G-5, or whatever they’re called.”

  “Don’t believe everything you read about me.” His old friend’s façade of invulnerability cracked, and David could feel the gravity of the problem through the line. “I could really use your help.”

  David knew that those were tough words for Jason to say. He’s the one who’s always helping others. Now he’s calling for help.