Star Minds Chasing Stardom

by Barbara G. Tarn

  Jay-lee was happily surprised by his call. He didn't ask questions about the why, he simply nodded.

  "Where is your next show?"

  "Ulba'wis."

  "I'll see you there. Tell me which hotel you booked, I'll be there."

  "Thanks." Kay-low looked at Hatcherd, relieved. "Can you let them know that I'll be sharing my room with Jay-lee so he can check in when he gets there?"

  "Sure."

  Knowing Jay-lee was waiting for him that night made the show less daunting. He even managed to sing a song or two at the end, turning off the playback recordings. Jay-lee's smile gave him strength and going to sleep with his friend was something he'd greatly missed. They chatted in the dark about the latest news and fell asleep in the same bed. For the first time in almost a month, Kay-low didn't have nightmares and woke up well rested.

  Jay-lee was his shadow again for the rest of the tour.

  "If he was your lyricist in the first place, we can hire him permanently," Hatcherd said before the final show.

  "Jay-lee is a composer, he writes full-fledged songs," Kay-low said, staring fondly at his friend who blushed. "He just can't be bothered to sing them."

  "Because you have a much better voice than me," Jay-lee replied. "You're the star. I'm only your shadow."

  "A very devoted shadow." Hatcherd grinned. "I guess Stardust Kay-low can't function without you."

  "I don't want him to be my shadow," Kay-low said. "Listen, it's been a very intense six months. Let me take a break. If I want to continue on this path, I'll call you. You're the best manager available and I won't have anyone else."

  Hatcherd nodded. "As you wish, Kay-low. Maybe I aimed too big. I'll get back to managing smaller bands for some time."

  "We had the same vision," Kay-low said. "But then something bad happened."

  "An unfortunate accident. The music industry is changing. We all have to adjust. I also need a break to reassess what's going on."

  "I'm glad we'll part amicably," Kay-low concluded, relieved. "I promise tonight I'll sing my heart out on the last show."

  ***

  Kay-low and Jay-lee booked their flight back to Marc'harid on the Galaxy Express. Frangi was sad to see Kay-low go, but when he hugged him to say good-bye, he whispered, "Yummy friend you have, Kay-low. You make a great couple. Good luck."

  "I'll see you again, Frangi," Kay-low promised, squeezing him. "Although I don't think I'll wear any more outrageous costumes," he warned.

  Frangi chuckled. "I can give you a normal-guy look if you want me to. Bring me the next album, and I'll find the right look for you and Jay-lee." He winked, making both Sire smile.

  Hatcherd was less exuberant in his good-byes, but they'd keep in touch. Kay-low and Jay-lee boarded the Galaxy Express and relaxed in their seats, chatting quietly among themselves.

  "You didn't tell your parents you're coming home," Jay-lee said as the captain announced they had reached Marc'harid's orbit. "Will you call them from the spaceport?"

  "No." Kay-low looked at him. "I've been thinking I don't want them to know I'm back yet. Can I stay at your place for a couple of days?"

  "Of course." Jay-lee grinned. He lived on his own, so his family wouldn't know he was back unless he told them. Telepathy didn't work long distance and their parents wouldn't be aware they were back.

  "Did you tell anyone you'd be back today?"

  "No. They know I'm gone, but I didn't say when I'd be back."

  "And did you tell them where you were going?"

  "No. It was none of their business. I told them a friend needed help, and left it at that."

  "Did you tell my parents?"

  "Certainly not. You called me. I assumed you didn't want them to know you were upset. That's why I didn't tell anyone who needed help."

  "Thank you, Jay-lee." Kay-low felt relieved and humbled. Jay-lee was a true empath. "I wonder if I'd be that considerate if the same happened to you."

  "I don't put myself in trouble by chasing fame." Jay-lee winked with a grin, which brought Kay-low's smile back.

  "Thank you, Jay-lee," he repeated. "I know what I must do now."

  "You do?" Jay-lee raised his eyebrows, skeptical. "Well, besides figuring out what to tell your parents about your career, what else?"

  "I'll tell you when we get to your apartment," Kay-low replied with an impish smile. He had the urge to kiss his friend, but he wouldn't do it on a public means of transportation. So he waited until they were in Jay-lee's studio flat. It was very small – one room with a food dispenser and a small bathroom – and the bed took half the space. The other half was taken by the keyboard and computer Jay-lee used to compose.

  Kay-low dropped his travel bag and took Jay-lee in his arms. He heard Jay-lee gasp in surprise and saw him blush, then the forest-green eyes stared at him with great tenderness. Holding him close with one arm, Kay-low unlocked the silver chain from the nose ring. It wasn't really in the way for a kiss, but Kay-low decided the piercing disfigured his friend's face. Their lips met and Kay-low was hungry to taste Jay-lee's mouth. His heart started beating faster as his body pressed against Jay-lee's.

  His mental shields slowly fell down as passion carried him away. Jay-lee's mind opened to him and his friend offered his body. And for the first time in his life, Kay-low knew it wasn't just sex, but something much stronger. He needed to know, touch, understand. His worries and stress were gone now that he was overwhelmed with a desire to investigate and experiment. His awareness of sensory information increased under Jay-lee's devotion and his deep affection for his friend turned into something else.

  Is this love? he marveled, losing himself in Jay-lee's eyes as they held each other tight, naked both physically and mentally. He was tongue-tied, but luckily he didn't have to speak.

  Do you feel safe and whole? Jay-lee asked, a beaming expression on his face and glowing cheeks.

  Yes! I appreciate the universe and everything in it!

  Jay-lee grinned. Then you're finally in love. And I swear I'll never break your heart.

  Kay-low gave him a long, passionate kiss. He was so grateful and happy... It felt good to belong to someone – with someone.

  Is this a mind link? he wondered, nestling against Jay-lee.

  It's a start. We can work on it as we go along.

  Oh, Jay-lee, you're the most wonderful Sire that ever lived! And I love you so much...

  Jay-lee chuckled.

  "Do you realize what your mind just said?" he asked aloud.

  "Yes." Kay-low squeezed him with a sigh of bliss. "I do love you. I don't know why I was so scared of love..."

  ***

  Kay-low had gone home a few days before his twenty-first birthday. After twenty-four hours of cuddles with Jay-lee, he went back to his own apartment – well, his room in his mother's apartment to prepare for his homecoming/birthday party. He didn't say anything about his new bond with Jay-lee, but Bess-lin noticed he was dreamy and quieter than usual.

  "I'll tell you on my birthday," he answered to her probing. "It's tomorrow anyway."

  "Who do you want to celebrate with?" she asked, a little puzzled.

  "Everybody. Italian Ignorance, Shan-leo and his family, Dadina and Wim, Dad and Ker-ris... Don't worry, I already invited them."

  "Oh. And what gift can I give you?"

  He stared at his mother. "The best gift would be not to get mad at me for whatever I'm going to say tomorrow. Let me live my life how I see fit without fussing. I might be a disgrace to the House of Meraini, but I'm your son and I'm part of you."

  "Of course you're part of me, I carried you inside me for nine months!" She huffed. "I tried to give you the best..."

  "You did give me the best, Mom." He smiled. "But maybe what's best for me isn't what you were trying to give me."

  "You're moving out?" she asked bluntly, suspicious.

  "That too."

  "Oh, Kay-low, you fell in love! This is so great!"

  She hugged him.

  "Wait until tomorrow
to congratulate me," he warned.

  The next day when everybody was gathered in a corner of the summer garden of the palace for his private party, Kay-low took Jay-lee's hand and announced he'd found The One. Jay-lee had gotten rid of the nose ring and the chain, and wore two silver rings on his earlobes, half-hidden by his mane of red hair. Now that he'd given up the bad boy look, he seemed even younger than Kay-low.

  As he'd imagined, Kay-low saw his mother pale and her smile vanished, but she didn't speak. His father brightened, as did Ker-ris – the exact same reaction at the exact same time. If he weren't so used to seeing them act in unison, Kay-low would have been scared. He wondered if he'd become like that with Jay-lee.

  Oh, yes, you will, Ker-ris transmitted with a bright smile, winking at Jay-lee who blushed even more.

  Kay-low hadn't realized his beloved was actually shy. No wonder he liked to be in his shadow. But not now they could give each other strength. He squeezed Jay-lee's fingers to reassure him.

  Shan-leo came forward to hug him.

  "Now, that's the little cousin I remember," he said. "Thank you, Jay-lee, the blood mind link is alive again."

  "I'm sorry, I don't know what possessed me," Kay-low apologized. "I returned the Haiduc undamaged."

  "It wasn't the starship I worried about," Shan-leo grinned. "It was you. Welcome back, Kay-low. I missed you."

  "Missed you too." Kay-low hugged him back, realizing that the sense of inferiority he'd felt for so many years was all in his head. Shan-leo had never done anything to make him feel that way. He'd wasted years in anger for the wrong reasons. He'd mistreated Laura and Italian Ignorance because he wasn't happy with himself.

  He apologized to Laura and D'oji'mon and told them if they wanted to take the band forward, he'd put them in touch with Kiran Hatcherd. They looked excited at the prospect of getting bigger and they inundated him with questions about the galactic tour. He made sure to tell them the highs and the lows – the assault, the mobbing crowds and his growing paranoia that had made him quit at the end of the tour.

  "But it's temporary. I want to start a new act," he said. "With Jay-lee. We'll be the Optimistic Holograms and we'll do only recorded songs. No live shows – except with holograms. So we can sing throughout the galaxy without leaving our living room."

  "Cool!" Laura beamed. "Can we open for you?"

  "I'm thinking a triple act joint virtual tour," Kay-low answered. "I will have to contact a third artist, and if he agrees, we're on."

  "Who will you call?" D'oji'mon asked, curious.

  "Zafar Nagarkar, the artist formerly known as Zaphadin."

  "You know Zaphadin?" David and Astrid gaped at him.

  "I met him, and I'm sure Dad can put me in touch with him." He glanced at Kol-ian who nodded with a chuckle.

  "Where are you moving to?" Dadina asked, seated in Wim's lap. "I sure hope you won't live with Jay-lee in that rat-hole!"

  "Why not? It's big enough for us," Kay-low replied, puzzled. "We have everything we need..."

  "My son will not live in a condo," Bess-lin said, determined. "I already booked you an apartment here at the palace. I was hoping you'd move in there with a girl, but well... I guess a boy is fine too."

  She didn't look happy, but at least she wasn't screaming at him.

  "You want to keep an eye on him, huh?" Kol-ian teased her. "I'm afraid you lost control of his life, Bess-lin, if he wants to live in a condo, you can't stop him."

  "The palace is fine too," Jay-lee said. "We'll have to move my stuff here. Thank you, Lady Bess-lin."

  Bess-lin nodded regally. She liked Jay-lee, who was always so respectful and aware of being a lower-class Sire. He was showing the proper behavior for her offer and Kay-low thanked him through their blossoming mind link.

  I know your mother very well, was Jay-lee's amused answer. You better accept her generous offer, or she will get mad at you.

  I know. Thank you, amatan.

  "Thank you for your gift, Mother," he said formally. "I will be delighted to move into whichever apartment you chose for me."

  She gave him an e-key, then hugged him with a sigh.

  Thank you for not getting mad at me, Mom.

  Oh, Kay-low, you drive me crazy, but you're my only son and I will always love you.

  6. SELINDA

  "Kay-low, can you please come over?" Bess-lin said over the phone.

  "Sure, Mom." Puzzled, Kay-low exchanged a glance with Jay-lee who shrugged. "Let's go." Kay-low sighed. "Not that we were doing anything important..."

  "Nothing is urgent," Jay-lee replied, amused. "Don't make your fiery mother wait."

  "And don't think you can stay here and wait for me," Kay-low retorted.

  "Why, you can't handle your mother on your own anymore?" Jay-lee teased.

  Kay-low snorted. It wasn't that. He just couldn't bear the thought of being away from Jay-lee even for a minute. And he thought he was an icy Sire.

  "Don't worry, I'll come," Jay-lee added tenderly.

  They found Bess-lin and Maela with visitors: Kelikana and Zigaema Angelle sat on both sides of Selinda who had hung her head and looked miserable. Kay-low's heart missed a beat at the sight of her. He'd completely forgotten the background dancer.

  "Ah, here is my lord Kay-low!" Kelikana rose, glaring at Kay-low. "You couldn't think before knocking up Selinda, could you?"

  "You don't impregnate an Ypsilantian and not marry her!" Zigaema added. "I'm glad your mother agrees with us!"

  Kay-low glanced at his mother who looked quite satisfied. She'd have what she wanted – not!

  "I'm sorry, but obviously my mother forgot to mention I have a mind link now, therefore I cannot marry Selinda," he told the Angelle sisters. "Unless she doesn't mind sharing me with Jay-lee, of course."

  He saw Maela smile and avert her eyes. If Selinda was like her mother, she'd never agree to share "her man".

  "What?" Kelikana exploded. "Another one of those? I thought you had a girlfriend!"

  "I did, but I didn't love her." Kay-low shrugged. "But I am in love with Jay-lee, so... Besides, Selinda knows I wasn't in love with her, don't you, Seli?"

  Selinda sniffled and kept her head down. She was desperate. Desperately in love and desperately lost. She knew he wouldn't want to marry her. But her mother and aunt had dragged her to Marc'harid, hoping to cover the scandal of her pregnancy with a marriage.

  "So he's just like his wretched father." Kelikana glared at Bess-lin. "I thought you wanted him to continue the House of Meraini."

  "And that's why I'd approve if he decided to marry Selinda," Bess-lin replied. "Even if she's not Sire."

  "Respectfully, Lady Meraini, I would like to remind you that on Ypsilanti women rule. As soon as the baby is born, the father's surname is dropped," Jay-lee said.

  "We'd make an exception in this case," Kelikana assured. "Especially if it's a boy, I'm sure the House of Meraini would appreciate him."

  "We pass on the House through the firstborn, no matter if male or female," Bess-lin replied. "But there must be a marriage to confirm parenthood. I'd also make an exception by accepting a non-Sire daughter-in-law – at least she was born on Marc'harid – but like Kol-ian likes to remind me, I lost control of Kay-low's life after he ran away to try for stardom."

  "Great!" Zigaema rolled her eyes. "The Sire will soon die out if they go on like this. Not that we'd miss them..."

  "Says the dancer who twenty years ago had a huge crush on the Imperial Prince and his retractile wings," Maela said with an impish smile. "And who didn't manage to have children from her bio-robot lover. Haven't you heard that Caroids are sterile, unless they mate among themselves?"

  "I haven't heard the girl's voice yet," Bess-lin said. "What does Selinda want?"

  "I doubt she'll talk in front of you all," Kay-low said. "Do you mind if I talk to her with Jay-lee alone?"

  Selinda looked up, hopeful. Her eyes were red from too much crying, but she was grateful for the opportunity.

  "You can use t
he bedroom," Bess-lin snapped, pointing at the door with her chin.

  Kay-low offered his hand to Selinda who took it and followed him into the bedroom with Jay-lee.

  "I'm sorry," she whispered, embarrassed. "I didn't want any of this. But I hoped my mother would understand what it means to raise a child without a husband..."

  "That's fine, Seli. What do you really want?" he asked gently, putting his hands on her shoulders.

  She sighed. "I want you. But I know you don't love me. And now you even found your significant other... I feel so stupid!"

  "You're not stupid, and the song you wrote was beautiful," Jay-lee said. "And you're a very good dancer. You could stay here and teach us some moves – although I'm afraid in a few months you won't be able to do much until you deliver."

  Selinda's smile was wet with tears. "Thank you, Jay-lee, but no, I'd rather stay away from Kay-low if I can't have him."

  "Like he said, I don't mind sharing. We have a mind link, and we can open up to somebody else. But we're two bodies and one mind, so if it's only him you want, it's going to be hard."

  Selinda sniffled again. "I know. That's why I'd rather leave."

  "Can you have a child out of wedlock on Ypsilanti?" Kay-low asked, worried.

  "Why do you think my mother and my aunt made all the fuss? They think the father should take responsibility and marry me."

  "And your mother spent ten years on Marc'harid." Kay-low scoffed. "She should know better."

  "It was Aunt Zigaema who started screaming scandal," Selinda grumbled.

  "Oh, look who's talking, the first galactic dancer who never married!" Jay-lee mocked. "And I bet she hoped to have Kol-ian's son way back when."

  "Except my father never allowed her to touch him." Kay-low chuckled. "And now, twenty years later, her niece succumbs to another Vaurabi – the son... no wonder she jumped in and used the excuse to come back here. Did they take you to Kol-ian first?"

  "Yes." Selinda smiled against her will. "When Aunt Zigaema connected the dots – that you were Kol-ian's son – she went to him first and made a scene. But he told us you were now living on your own and he had no power over you. So my mother decided to try Bess-lin, especially when she discovered she lived with her ex, Maela."