The next morning when I woke up for class, getting out of bed was the last thing that I wanted to do. I wished I could just stay hidden away in my room forever. But after a few minutes of entertaining the possibility, a different idea crossed my mind.
What if I didn’t hide? What if I didn’t feel bad at all? What if I didn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that he’d broken my heart?
I pushed my blanket off and onto the floor. I stepped into the shower and took a little extra time to enjoy the flow of the hot water. I imagined washing every one of his touches from my skin, from my hair, from my mind. The more I visualized it, the more free I felt.
Fifi had been right. The movies full of bright-eyed boys that always treated the girl right in the end had made me feel less dependent on Oliver. There were other boys out there. And more importantly, I had plenty of time to find them.
When I wiped the mirror clean and looked at my reflection, I renewed my promise to myself that I would not be distracted by anything. My future was waiting for me and I wanted to be part of it, not stuck in the past, shedding tears over a boy who never really cared in the first place.
Still, I applied a little extra make-up and took a little more time on my hair. I wanted to look my best—not to attract a new love interest and not even to make Oliver feel jealous, but because I wanted to show off my pride in myself. Whether he intended to do it or not, he had broken my heart, but I wouldn’t let that show.
As I pulled on my school uniform, I repeated a mantra in my mind. I am more than enough. I am worthy of being happy.
It was a mantra that I’d heard my mother say many times growing up. No matter what difficulty she faced, she would recite those words and her face would light up with confidence. I hoped that mine did the same. Although we didn’t always agree on everything, I was glad for the lessons she’d taught me about self-esteem and independence.
I was almost to my first class when one of the teachers’ aides caught me in the hall.
“Maby, I’ve been trying to get a message to you. You’re needed in the administration office.”
“I am? For what?” I frowned.
“I’m not sure, but I’d get there fast.” He nodded to me, then hurried down the hall.
I sighed as I changed direction. The last thing I needed at the moment was trouble. I wracked my mind in an attempt to figure out why I might be summoned to the office.
When I pulled open the door to the administration building, I smelled it. Vanilla and lilacs. My mother’s favorite perfume. I followed the scent right to the reception area where I saw her standing there, phone in hand.
“Mom?” I stared at her. “What are you doing here?”
“You don’t remember? I told you I’d be here today.” She crossed her arms as she studied me. “Mabel, have you been eating? You look a bit thin.”
“I’m fine, Mom, I promise.” I gazed at her, then shook my head. “I’m sorry, I forgot all about your visit. I’ve been distracted.”
“Distracted?” She raised an eyebrow. “By what?” She leaned closer to me. “It better not be a boy.”
“It’s not a boy, Mom.” I rolled my eyes. “It’s just been a rough week.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” She hugged me. “Well, the important thing is that we’re together now. I’m going to take you out for lunch and we’ll do a little shopping. I can’t stay as long as I originally planned. I have to catch a flight to Paris in a few hours.”
“Paris?” I brightened at the thought. “Can I go with you? I promise, I won’t be any trouble.”
“Of course not.” She quirked an eyebrow. “You have school, Maby.”
“Please, Mom?” I stared into her eyes. “I really need a break.”
“From what?” She laughed as she waved at the pile of laundry being rolled past us to be delivered to individual rooms. “All of the luxury you have here?”
“I could really use a little getaway. I’ve had good grades this year, I haven’t been in any trouble. Can’t I come?” My heart pounded as I hoped she would agree. Oliver certainly couldn’t follow me to Paris.
“I’m sorry, hon, but that’s just not possible. We can go this summer, though—you and me—we’ll make it a girls’ week, okay?” She looped her arm through mine. “Now let’s go eat. I’m starving.”
As disappointment washed over me, I held back what I thought of her decision. My mother had always put school above everything, as if it was the most important thing in the world. But at the moment, I wanted to be as far from Oak Brook Academy as possible.
As I walked with her to the gate, I noticed a strange tingling sensation on the back of my neck. I glanced over my shoulder to see what it might be and found Oliver at the entrance of the administration building. He had a pink suitcase in one hand and his phone in the other.
As I watched, a girl emerged from the administration building. She couldn’t be more perfect if she tried, from perfectly styled hair to a fit and sexy body. She looked like a model. But she wasn’t a model. I narrowed my eyes as I realized exactly who she was.
Shauna.
Of course I had no way to know for sure if it was her. At least not until she threw her arms around Oliver’s neck and planted a heavy kiss on his lips.
“Oh my!” My mother clucked her tongue as she watched them. “That poor girl, she’s going to get herself into quite a mess with that boy. Look at him, all hands.” She huffed, then narrowed her eyes as she looked back at me. “You’re lucky, Mabel, you know that?”
“I am?” I turned away as Oliver finally broke the kiss. “How?” I stepped through the gate, with my mother right beside me.
“You don’t have to worry about any of that nonsense. You’ve always been too smart for that. I only wish your friend Jenny had been as smart.” She pursed her lips, then shook her head. “Every time I hear something about her mother, I feel so bad for her.”
“What? Why?” I glanced at her as we continued to walk along the sidewalk.
“Why? Because her daughter had such a bright future and they’ve had to hide her away for almost a year. She lost so many friends.” She scrunched up her nose. “I really think their idea of sending her back to Oak Brook Academy is terrible.”
“She’s coming back?” My eyes widened at the thought. “I didn’t know you were in touch with her mother.”
“Yes, I spoke to her after I found out. I let her know it would be best that you and Jenny didn’t communicate. She understood.” She frowned. “I know it’s not her mother’s fault, but I just have to wonder, what did she teach Jenny? Didn’t she warn her to be careful? Or to stay away from boys altogether?”
“Wait.” I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. “Are you saying that you told Jenny’s mother to keep her away from me?”
“Oh, I wasn’t the only one. Everyone told her the same thing. I think that’s why they sent Jenny off to her aunt in Alabama. In my opinion, they should have left her there. It would give her a fresh start. But she’s been fighting to get Jenny back into Oak Brook. Such a scandal.” She sucked her teeth, then signaled for a taxi. “I’m so glad you’ve never given me that kind of trouble. You’re such a good girl, Mabel.”
Chapter 26
As the taxi pulled up, I thought my mind might explode. Never once had I imagined that Jenny might think I didn’t want to speak to her. Never once had it crossed my mind that she might have been the one that felt abandoned.
“I’m not going anywhere with you.” I stepped back from the taxi.
“Nonsense, get in the taxi.” My mother frowned. “I told you, I don’t have much time.”
“No. You had no right to do that to Jenny.” I glared at her as I started back along the sidewalk. “Go to Paris, go to the moon for all I care—I can’t even look at you right now!”
“Mabel, you’re being unreasonable!” she called after me.
As tears streaked down my cheeks, I felt too dizzy to make sense of where I was going. Had Jenny believed that I wa
nted nothing to do with her this whole time? Had she gone through the most difficult experience in her life believing that she was completely alone? The force of the horror I felt over that threatened to knock me off my feet.
Still blinded by my tears, I ran in no specific direction. I ran away from sound, away from anyone who might see me. I ran mostly from the truth that my mother had just revealed to me and the memory of Oliver kissing Shauna. Not long before, my life had been exactly as it should be, from top to bottom. Now, it felt as if I had shattered into thousands of pieces, such tiny shards that they could never be retrieved. Nothing felt possible anymore, not the future I once thought I wanted, not even my next breath.
I slammed into something solid and warm, with arms that wrapped around me. As a pulse of fear jolted me from the chaos in my mind, I recognized the eyes that locked to mine, the lips that brushed across my forehead, and the scent of the body that held me close.
“Ollie.”
“Sh.” He pressed my head into his chest as he held me.
I could hear the sound of his heartbeat. I could feel the tremor in his muscles as he held me tighter than anyone ever had before. Somewhere beneath my grief and shock, anger bubbled up. It demanded that I wrench myself free from his grasp. But the tears that flowed from my eyes and the exhaustion that caused my entire body to ache kept me right where I was.
More than anything at that moment, I needed to know that I wasn’t alone. I needed to remember what it was like when he looked at me, when he touched me, when he whispered my name beside my ear, and when he uttered soft reassurances.
“I’ve got you, Maby.” He pushed his lips through my hair until they tickled the ridge of my ear. “I’ve got you, I’m right here.”
His words inspired even more tears to flow, as they were the sweetest words I’d ever heard in my entire life. I had no idea how much I longed for them until I heard them and then I wondered how I’d survived without them.
I clung to him as he guided me down onto a bench. His fingers trailed through my hair, smoothing it away from my face. I could feel the sunlight strike the moisture on my skin. How could it be so bright out? How could the weather not reflect the torment that I felt?
As I opened my eyes, I looked right into his. The memory of his kissing Shauna flashed through my mind, but just then, I didn’t care. I didn’t care who he might have been kissing, who he might be in love with, who he might be using me to forget. All I cared about was his hands as they wrapped around mine and the softness of his voice as he spoke.
“You don’t have to talk about it. You don’t have to say a word.” He released one of my hands and ran his fingertips along the tears that still flowed.
As he wiped them away, more threatened to form. I’d never felt so completely lost in my emotions. I knew that I hated him, but I couldn’t imagine asking him to stop.
He pressed his lips against my forehead. Then he left a light kiss at the corner of my eye. He placed another on the rise of my cheekbone, then on the tender skin of my cheek. As his chin brushed against my lips, my heartbeat rocketed to a level I’d never experienced before.
Yes, I thought, yes, please just kiss me. Please just make something wonderful happen to combat all this chaos.
His lips hovered there, at the corner of mine, as if seeking permission to slide just a little closer.
All I had to do was turn my head—not even a full turn, just the smallest tilt to the side—and our lips would meet. All I had to do was take what I wanted—demand it. But just as I started the movement, a rush of fury broke through the fog of grief that had driven all logic from my mind.
“Maby.” His forehead glided along mine as he sensed my movement and sought my lips.
“Don’t.” I ducked away just before our lips could touch. One word wasn’t enough to contain the anger that erupted from me. “Don’t you dare!” I shoved his shoulders so hard that he nearly fell off the bench.
He caught himself on the back of it and gazed at me with wide eyes. “I’m sorry, I thought it was what you wanted.”
I pushed myself up from the bench as I glared at him. “Of course it’s what I want!”
“I don’t understand.” He stood up from the bench as well but remained a short distance from me. “Maby, if you would just give me a chance to explain.”
“No, no more chances.” I wiped my palms across my cheeks, not just to clear away the remainder of my tears, but to remove the memory of his kisses. “You came into my life, you forced your way into my life. You filled my head with lies and all of these ridiculous feelings!”
“They’re not ridiculous and they’re not lies.” He grabbed my hand and held it tight as I tried to pull it away. “Just listen to me!”
“No!” I grabbed his wrist and wrenched his hand free as I stared into his eyes. “I won’t listen! It’s your turn to listen! I may be nothing to you, but I still exist! You toyed with me for your own entertainment to make yourself feel better. I’m sorry that Shauna broke your heart, I’m sorry that she cheated on you, but that doesn’t give you the right to get your revenge on me! I was fine!” I pushed his hand away as he tried to grab mine again. “I was fine until you showed up! Now look at me!” I drew a sharp breath as my mind spun with dizziness. “I’m a mess!”
As I stumbled, he caught me by the elbow to steady me and for an instant our bodies leaned against each other.
As I pulled away, I accidentally looked into his eyes and there it was again, the urge to kiss him.
“Of course I want to kiss you. Of course it’s what I want.”
With his hand still on my elbow, he guided me back toward him and in one swift movement his lips brushed against mine.
“No!” I shoved him away before the kiss could become more than a graze. “Don’t you see? It doesn’t matter what I want!” I glared at him. “It’s not what you want. I’m not who you want.” I gasped as the weight of the entire day threatened to crush me. “If you ever cared about me at all, even a little bit, you would walk away right now.”
Chapter 27
“Maby.” His eyes locked to mine.
“Just go!” I turned away from him as fresh tears began to flow. “Please!”
“I can’t do that.” His hands ran along the curves of my shoulders in a gentle caress, then held them. “I won’t!”
“Because it’s more important that you get what you want, right?” I turned back to face him. “Because all you care about is you.”
He narrowed his eyes as he looked at me. “Because you’re the most important thing to me and I’m not going to walk away unless I know that you’re okay.”
“Why do you keep telling lies?” I balled my hands into fists. “Why can’t you just admit the truth? You made a mistake. You thought you could move on by distracting yourself with me, but you couldn’t. Why can’t you just say that to me, instead of pretending that things are different?”
“Because that’s not the truth.” He frowned. “If you would give me a chance to explain, you would know that.”
“I’m not going to give you a chance to con me again. Never.” I held up my hands and backed away from him. “You’ve done enough damage here.”
“I’m sorry, Maby.” His expression softened. “I’m sorry. I never meant to cause you any pain, I promise you that. I never wanted to do anything more than be the person that you need, that you deserve. But things have gotten a little mixed up.”
“I don’t call kissing Shauna a little mixed up.” I made a sound that should have been a laugh, but it came out too harsh to be described that way. “I call it you playing both sides and seeing which one you like better.”
“You saw that?” His face paled. “I didn’t know.”
“Of course you didn’t. You didn’t know that you got caught in the act, otherwise you wouldn’t have wasted so much time pretending to be something you’re not.”
“That’s not what happened.” He stepped in front of me as I tried to move past him. “Listen to me, Maby
! Just for one second, listen to me!”
“I don’t want to! Aren’t you hearing me? I’m already embarrassed enough. Just go back to her, just move on with your life. Please!” I stepped around him before he could stop me, but his hand caught mine and pulled me back.
“I am not with Shauna!” He locked his eyes to mine. “Do you hear me? I’m not with her!”
“I just saw you kissing her!” My heart skipped a beat, despite my anger. Could he be telling me the truth?
“She kissed me.” He frowned. “And you’re right, I shouldn’t have let it happen, but it was so sudden that it took me by surprise.” He sighed, then shook his head. “But I’m glad it did happen.”
“I’m sure you are.” I narrowed my eyes.
“I’m glad because it proved to me one hundred percent that there is nothing left between Shauna and me. It disappeared the moment I met you.” He licked his lips, then closed his eyes. “When I spoke to her on the phone—what you heard—it was me pleading with her not to come here. She’d decided she wanted me back and planned this reunion for us. I asked her not to come, but she’d already bought the ticket and was at the airport. She wouldn’t listen to me.” He opened his eyes again and looked at me. “Once, I begged her to come back to me. But when she decided she would, I didn’t want her to anymore, because I’d fallen for you.” He tightened his grasp on my hand. “Whether you believe me or not, it doesn’t change how I feel. I love you, Maby.”
Those words struck me hard. One by one, they took my breath away.
He loved me? My heartbeat quickened. No boy had ever said that to me before. No one had even come close. For an instant, I thought my feet weren’t even touching the ground anymore. If it was true—if he was over Shauna and in love with me—could I tell him the truth? Could I admit that I was in love with him too?
I opened my mouth to say those words. I felt my body tilt forward, ready to be swept up in his arms. I wanted more than anything to taste his lips for the first time. But just as I was about to speak, I recalled Jenny’s infectious laugh. I remembered the girl she was before she’d gotten involved with a boy, before she’d lost herself in the very emotions that I felt driving me toward Oliver.
Worth the Wait: A Young Adult Sweet Romance (Oak Brook Academy Book 4) Page 11
